20. Adam Sandler's Musical Ode to David Letterman (Late Show with David Letterman, 05-12-15)
- Junior's a Republican? (Black-ish, S01E23)
- David Letterman Interviews Tom Waits While Handcuffed to George Clooney (Late Show with David Letterman, 05-14-15)
- Tom Waits – "Take One Last Look" (Late Show with David Letterman, 05-14-15)
"Less enemies for us."
"Nothing." (Game of Thrones, S05E05)
- Don reading The Godfather (Mad Men, S07E13)
- "He doesn't know you won't get treatment because you love the tragedy." (Mad Men, S07E13)
- "Sally, I always worried about you because you march to the beat of your own drum. But now I know that's good. I know your life will be an adventure." (Mad Men, S07E13)
- "Christianity is borderline illegal in Northern California." (Silicon Valley, S02E05)
- "Do you think maybe you sweat from your urethra?" (Silicon Valley, S02E05)
- "The British Museum holds the world's largest collection of historical pornography – aside from the Vatican, of course." (Penny Dreadful, S02E02)
- A doll of Vanessa? (Penny Dreadful, S02E02)
- "I want to take zucchini to the next level." (Veep, S04E05)
- "Dead kids. That never sounds good unless you're a stressed out single mom." (Veep, S04E05)
- "Chung is our answer to Montez. He can be our minority retort." (Veep, S04E05)
- "It's like Christmas, except happy." (Veep, S04E05)
"I think I'd take a soy cap, and Richard?"
"Uh, eggnog latte, if it's in season. Is it? No, it isn't." (Veep, S04E05)
"Jonah here is the guy behind the guy, isn't that right?"
"Oh, I'm the wheel greaser, I'm the puppet master… A man of many nicknames – poon slayer…when I'm online." (Veep, S04E05)
"My advice? Tom James."
"He has a disabled son, check, wounded serving his country, check, is the checklist complete? Yeah." (Veep, S04E05)
"Hey, you know what? I got an idea. Why don't we ask Doyle back?"
[pause] (Veep, S04E05)
- "You are the worst thing that has happened to this country since food in buckets – and maybe slavery!"(Veep, S04E05)
- "What a cool guy. You shit ice cubes, you piss snowflakes." (Veep, S04E05)
"Why is Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson at dinner?"
"Well, baby, this is why I brought you here. See, I'm marrying The Rock. He's gonna be your new stepdad."
"Baby Cakes, your mom is a great lover. She is the best at sucking The Rock off."
"Fuck you, The Rock! You're not my dad!" (China, IL, S03E06)
(China, IL, S03E06)
- Bates Motel Season Grade: C-
"Armed Forces Day, huh. Why would they put it in May? It's just sitting in Memorial Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah."
"Fitting that both war holidays have to fight each other over the same month."
"Notable that the one we remember is the one with the theme of memory." (Community, S06E10)
- "Then Hillary bought me Dick Cheney's biography. It's awesome. I mean, the dude destroyed Iraq, got rich rebuilding it – hero! Then he shot a guy, and the guy apologized – pimp! That should be the name of his book – Dick Cheney: Hero Pimp!" (Black-ish, S01E23)
- "Salty and fatty. Thick as a pork chop. This is the Amber Rose of bacon." (Black-ish, S01E23)
- "Just like your dad would be okay if one of you thought Kingdom Come was Jay Z's best album." (Black-ish, S01E23)
"I'll send everybody home."
"No, you won't."
"Yes, I will, Afghanistan."
"What were you doing in there?"
"None of your business, Tranquility."
"Her name is Tranquilit-ay." (Louie, S05E06)
"Can you believe this comes out of a cow's pussy?"
"You know it comes out of their tits, you know that, right?"
"No. Milk comes out of the tits. Yogurt comes out of the pussy." (Louie, S05E06)
- The Pen Is Mightier! (Celebrity Jeopardy!, 05-15-15)
- Amazing Race spirit flags (The Amazing Race, S26E12)
- A selfie memory challenge? (The Amazing Race, S26E12)
- The Amazing Race Season Grade: D+
- Shark Tank Season Grade: B-
"This isn't gonna be easy."
"Why not? We can do this. I mean, remember when we took a stroll through the arboretum?"
"That was a walk in the park." (Childrens Hospital, S06E09)
"She's all yours, Hector. Take care of her."
"Clocking in Hector Taycarofher." (Childrens Hospital, S06E09)
- "I got pretty good at masturbating at Princeton." (Childrens Hospital, S06E09)
- ♫: Nicky Blitz – "Blast Off" (Childrens Hospital, S06E09)
- Still handcuffed to George Clooney! (Late Show with David Letterman, 05-15-15)
- "If something is true, it is not sentimental." (Late Show with David Letterman, 05-15-15)
- "China has banned its soldiers from wearing the new Apple Watch over concerns of cyber security. Said one Chinese soldier: 'But my daughter made it for me.'" (Saturday Night Live, S40E21)
- Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C-