14. Partners (Justified, S06E11)
- Brock Lesnar Is The Greatest Pro Wrestler Of All Time, And Seth Rollins Is Getting Pretty Close (WWE Raw, 03-30-15)
- Hide-and-Seek with Beck, Jeff Goldblum, Reggie Watts and Tommy (The Late Late Show with James Corden, 04-02-15)
- An Easter Message from Michael Keaton and Portia (Saturday Night Live, S40E17)
Bandages, bandages, bandages (The Walking Dead, S05E16)
- "I could kill you right now." (The Walking Dead, S05E16)
- Is Rick Grimes gonna have to choke a zombie? (The Walking Dead, S05E16)
- The Walking Dead Season Grade: C
- Burst pipe rain (Shameless, S05E11)
- "You got a hacksaw? Don't worry about it. It gets too messy." (Shameless, S05E11)
"Can we talk?"
"Do you mind if I change into something that's got a little less poo in it?" (The Last Man on Earth, S01E07)
(Bates Motel, S03E04)
- Norma cruises a coffee shop for a hacker, asks the Asian dude (Bates Motel, S03E04)
- The immovable overturned announce table (WWE Raw, 03-30-15)
"Can't you just stall by doing what real IT people do?"
"Exactly." (Community, S06E04)
- "Wow, need time to fix it. You sound just like you work in IT." (Community, S06E04)
- "I make gayness look like Mormonism." (Community, S06E04)
- "My first love was Dolly Parton. What a butt." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
"Boys, show Oscar to the guest bathroom."
"We have a guest bathroom?"
[whispering] "The bathroom." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
- YTMND: "At the airPORT?!?!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
"I didn't want to crush his family. That's why I'm at the memorial."
"Not because it was the right thing to do?"
"No, no. I mean, we never even went skiing." (New Girl, S04E19)
- "Check my balls right now. Be purple they so blue." (Justified, S06E11)
- "I don't even miss it anymore. It's like Circuit City." (Modern Family, S06E19)
"I thought you could help me, because…"
"Because you're not good with words."
"Well, I'm a doctor. I can't admit I'm not good at something." (Modern Family, S06E19)
- Maury (Black-ish, S01E18)
- "If it's a boy, I'm thinking 'Gimli.' If it's a girl…Gimli still works!" (Black-ish, S01E18)
- How to get her to pee on a stick without knowing (Black-ish, S01E18)
- "Don't drink the floor smoothie." (Workaholics, S05E12)
"I put peyote in the smoothies."
"Peyote at work?"
"As Joseph Rogan said, he took peyote before an MMA class and he said it was the bomb diggity."
"Do NOT make up Joe Rogan quotes! That is NOT okay!"
"Why did you Joe Rogan us? Why couldn't you just Seth Rogen us? We could've just smoked a bunch of weed." (Workaholics, S05E12)
- RT: Henry really should be the second generation illegal. That porn stash is better concealed than some dead drops they've used. (The Americans, S03E10)
- "That's not football; that's dots." (The Americans, S03E10)
- Henry cluelessly nattering on about "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" (The Americans, S03E10)
- Philip sharpening a knife while Paige eyes Stan (The Americans, S03E10)
"She seems like a normal baby weight."
"Oh yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up and everyone's Kickstarter has merit." (Archer, S06E13)
"The sub is too small to track with our current technology."
"Maybe the CIA should do a Kickstarter." (Archer, S06E13)
- Archer Season Grade: D+
- Troy Season Grade: C+
RT: Reality show rules:
-Survivor? Know how to make fire
-Amazing Race? Drive stick shift
-Hell's Kitchen? Make scallops & risotto (The Amazing Race, S26E05)
- "You were in the movie The Dark Knight Rises, where you played Commissioner Gordon-Levitt." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"I didn't realize this movie meant that much to you."
"It sort of launched my career in a lot of ways. I changed agents and everything afterwards." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
- "Which outfit do you prefer for our big date tonight: This slinky red dress or this Battletoads costume?" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"Diane, wait, stop! If you step on that plane, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life."
"Scott, you're too late. I'm stepping on this plane and I'm moving on with my life." – Chekhov's model airplane (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
- "Kirk Cameron. Alan Thicke calling here. I'm doing an ad in Siberia for horse bacon, and they're wondering if maybe we could get the whole cast of Growing Pains here. What do you think? Horse bacon, yeah. Hey, hey, hey. All of the proceeds will go to Christian ministries. And, uhh, all of the horses they slaughtered are gay. Heathen gay horses, yeah. (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
- "Satan's Dick Ring." (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
- The Jack and Triumph Show Season Grade: C+
- Pheasant calls (Childrens Hospital, S06E02)