47. Hollywood Ending (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
- Pit Boss (The Walking Dead, S04E06)
- Sacha Baron Cohen Cold Open (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
- Ricky Gervais Loses His Shit (David Blaine: Real or Magic?, 11-19-13)
- "You can make yourself live with anything." (Boardwalk Empire, S04E11)
"I want you to be the next Ellen DeGeneres."
"Well, she's pretty dope, but she's a lesbian."
"I know she's a lesbian. I was in the meeting where we decided she should be one, and I was in the meeting where we decided that Ryan Seacrest should be straight." (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
- "I want you to break him like he's a teenage hymen." (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
- "Fucking duck's clit!" (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
- "WorldStar! WorldStar!" (Eastbound and Down, S04E08)
(China, IL, S02E09)
- "The cell is secure. Thomas Jefferson designed it. He foresaw holding the worst type of demons that may walk the earth – a product, no doubt, of his years trying to reason with the French." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E08)
- RT: "david blaine's best magic reveal was that kanye and woody harrelson hang out" (David Blaine: Real or Magic?, 11-19-13)
- "You're kissing a sectional, you dummy." (New Girl, S03E09)
- "Friends don't call friends pathetic." (New Girl, S03E09)
- Clay! (Sons of Anarchy, S06E11)
"Jax loves you, Nero."
"Yeah, well, I'm too old to adopt."
"You could always marry me."
"No offense, mama. I've seen what happens to your husbands. It ain't pretty." (Sons of Anarchy, S06E11)
- Game of Thrones spoiler alert! (South Park, S17E08)
- "A wounded animal will rip you apart if it's cornered." (American Horror Story, S03E07)
- "Dump buddy Bible study." (The League, S05E12)
- Party Down reunion! (The League, S05E12)
- "Let's turn this G.I. Joe into G.I. Joe: Retaliation." (The League, S05E13)
"Now that I keep a kosher toilet kitchen, my life is amazing. No more live pig for this guy. Just dead pig, pig milk soup."
"You can't eat pig if you're kosher, and you can't eat a live pig ever."
"I was totally kidding. I don't eat any of that stuff. All I eat pretty much now is, like, shrimp and lobster." (The League, S05E13)
"Oh, God, what did you eat?"
"I ate a raw onion earlier that I found on the street." (The League, S05E13)
"Let's do it in the back."
"You're not even drunk."
"No, the back of the van!" (The League, S05E13)
- "This is gonna fulfill a fantasy I've had since I was on welfare. You're a fat black woman. You're really mad at me because I haven't been looking for a job." (The League, S05E13)
"You don't want to talk to that guy? He plays in the NFL."
"He's a linebacker. Skill positions only for Donna Meagle." (Parks and Recreation, S06E08)
- "So you're black. That must be interesting. Do you know – this is a shot in the dark – do you know Mercedes Jones?" (Glee, S05E06)