127 Hours

Wrecked my circadian rhythm, but the film I've been working on is finally finished.


Pepe [Director]: Where are you going?
Jon: A Franklin Barbecue pop-up feast. See what all the fuss is about.
Pepe: Well, hurry back.

[two hours later]

Pepe: Back already?
Jon: [pause]
Pepe: How was it?
Jon: Oy… I am too old for "all you can eat." I feel like I'm carrying a baby made of brisket.

Jon: I don't know what fatty brisket is, but it is DIVINE.

Jon: Lean brisket, like white meat, just isn't worth eating.


Jake [Assistant Editor]: …Kings of Summer.
Jon: What about The Kings of Summer?
Jake: Oh. I want to see it. Same director made Successful Alcoholics, which I loved.

Is this real life?

Jon: Okay, ranking noodles:
Jon: 1. Rice pappardelle.
Jon: 2. Fettucine.
Jon: 3. Yi mien.
Jon: 4. Capelli d'angelo, a.k.a. capelli of the angelo…


The only place to nap in the office is an armless sofa in the reception area.

I lie down on my back – my sleeping position of choice.

What if I get a boner, though, and someone sees?

Hmmph. My arms are too short to cup my dick.

I switch to sleeping on my side.

Guh. Are there any pillows in the office?

I grab my hoodie and use it as a pillow.

Someone can still catch me with a boner.

I switch to sleeping on my side, but facing the back of the sofa.

This is awkward.

I switch back to sleeping on my back, but with my hoodie covering my crotch.

Okay, now I'm cold. Fuck.

[loud distant banging]

When Pepe is angry, he…hulks out.


Jon: Better South Carolina baseball player name: Joey Pankake or Graham Saiko?
Anthony [Assistant Editor]: Saiko G.
Anthony: "Saiko" would be a good name for a Japanese fighting game character.

Jon: Pankake batter, heh.
Jon: Pitcher David Koolaid.

Jon: Tiny Tower is not a particularly fun mobile game, but I can't stop playing it.
Jon: Well, "playing."
Jon: It's like a Tamagotchi.

Jon: Are the Tony Awards in June because it's Gay Pride Month?

Jon: Are the NAACP Image Awards in February?
Jake: Uhh… Of late, yes!


Is this jazzy, Woody Allen music original?

[Shazams music]

"Momma's Song" – Dan Romer & Benh Zeitlin.

Jon: Hold up. We're using a song off the Django Unchained soundtrack AND a song off the Beasts of the Southern Wild soundtrack?!
Jon: Might as well work in "Skyfall" too.

Jon: Can you change the font for "indefagitable"?
Jon: Err… Indefagita—
Jon: [pause]

Jon: Indie FATTY, indie FATTY…


  1. dedleg 15 Jun 13 at 01:55

    Dude you must have incredibly short arms! Or I have really long ones? What gives.

    1. Jon 16 Jun 13 at 00:31

      I'm a T. rex.


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