The sin is in the meat

"Pass me another fortune cookie."

"What for?"

"I don't like this fortune. 'You will be involved in many humanitarian projects' – that sound like me? NO DEAL!"

"You can't change your fortune."

"I'm not changing my fortune – I'm merely deferring the first one. I saw a bedroom set, and I want a car. The second fortune, however, may involve [blank] instead. Come what may."

"What is…[blank]?"

"It's a thing. Nine consonants and seven vowels."



"You know… Alaska. Hawaii."

"Non-continental states?"

"Paris. Sydney. Hawaii."

"Oh for fuck's sake. PASS me another fortune cookie already!"


"'Your short term goal will soon be realized.'"

"It sure will. Fap fap fap."


"Pass me another cookie."

"A third, er, second fortune? But…"

"I'm not changing my fortune – I'm merely attempting to enhance the one I received. No risk, no reward."

"You sure about this?"

"Positive. Final answer. Come on… No Whammies!"


"'You will be showered with good luck tomorrow. EH?"

"So your short term goal is to be showered with good luck?"

"Ha! I will be a humanitarian project!"

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