The sin is in the meat

"Pass me another fortune cookie."

"What for?"

"I don't like this fortune. 'You will be involved in many humanitarian projects' – that sound like me? NO DEAL!"

"You can't change your fortune."

"I'm not changing my fortune – I'm merely deferring the first one. I saw a bedroom set, and I want a car. The second fortune, however, may involve [blank] instead. Come what may."

"What is…[blank]?"

"It's a thing. Nine consonants and seven vowels."

"September?"

[pause]

"You know… Alaska. Hawaii."

"Non-continental states?"

"Paris. Sydney. Hawaii."

"Oh for fuck's sake. PASS me another fortune cookie already!"

[…]

"'Your short term goal will soon be realized.'"

"It sure will. Fap fap fap."

[pause]

"Pass me another cookie."

"A third, er, second fortune? But…"

"I'm not changing my fortune – I'm merely attempting to enhance the one I received. No risk, no reward."

"You sure about this?"

"Positive. Final answer. Come on… No Whammies!"

[…]

"'You will be showered with good luck tomorrow. EH?"

"So your short term goal is to be showered with good luck?"

"Ha! I will be a humanitarian project!"


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