Calculating Infinity

On Friday, The Jay Leno Show welcomes Glenn Beck and Kate Gosselin.


On Friday, everything that's wrong with television.

In an interview with Barbara Walters, Kate Gosselin said that her kids are devastated.

"They cried in the van on the way home from school the other day. They kept asking, 'Where's the camera crew? Where's the camera crew? We miss them.'" [source]

Camera crew > father.

I didn't realize that children could inherit priorities.

Sitcom Idea: Valet Parking.
It's always sunny outside a restaurant.

Sitcom Idea: Day Workers.

At Chevy's, I learned that "Happy Hour" is a masculine proper noun.

At Whole Foods, I saw tzimmes in the delicatessen.

Carrots, yams, apricots, prunes, raisins, honey – was this dish originally conceived as a method of interrogating Palestinians?

It flabbergasts me that some people wipe their asses while standing.

Apparently it's a New Jersey thing, as I did an impromptu dorm floor census (of both sexes), and everyone from Jersey wiped standing up.

—you're from jersey
—and you wipe while sitting

—i used to while standing
—when i lived in jersey

You could say that New Jerseyans believe in wiping asses.

A slice of the cast of American Pie 7: The Book of Love:

Screech, Ponyboy, Peter Brady, Otter…

In the final sequel, Eugene Levy should die in a plane crash.

The Morgan Freeman Chain of Command
Stereotyping People by Their Favorite Author

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