Like the Andy Griffith theme song

At a family dinner with a cousin visiting from Edmonton, my mother informed me that my ears resemble those of a monkey.

"With your short hair, you look like a monkey. You look like the Monkey King. Mickey Mouse!"

"Didn't you realize this 20 years ago when you pinned my ears to my head with duct tape before bedtime?" I wondered.

She wasn't drinking.


The pilot for NBC's Community
Behold, the Vortex of Douchebaggery Captured in A Single Photograph

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