Blow me up, Jon

On the drive home today, I heard the Ying Yang Twins' "Salt Shaker" on the radio.

What happened to Lil' Jon?

—I think that many white people actually believe Lil' Wayne and Lil' Jon are the same person
—just like I thought that Coolio turned into Busta Rhymes
—back in the 90s

"Shake it like a salt shaker" is kind of a lame simile. It's like rhyming a word with itself.

"Stir it like a coffee stirrer!"

"Grind it like a pepper grinder!"

"Mow it like a lawnmower!"

I wish I had the equipment to record a podcast so you could hear me say those lines in my Lil' Jon voice.

Idea: An auto-tuned podcast.

Lil' Bow Wow and Lil' Romeo, the littlest Lil's, are no longer Lil', while Lil' Jon is 38, and even Lil' Wayne is 26.

To be fair, Jon and Wayne aren't particularly memorable stage names.

Ol' Jon? Lil' Big Wayne?

Bow Wow's middle stage name should be Chickawow.

Friday flotsam and jetsam:

» Jerry Springer will play Billy Flynn in a London stage production of Chicago. Jerry Springer was once the mayor of Cincinnati.

» I want to cover The Killers' "Human" as a dirge.

» If Bravo ever produces Top Rapper, one of the challenges should be: Record a song that samples "Yakity Sax."

» James Harden's beard is ridiculous.

» Idea: A panel discussion with Adam Carolla, Petros Papadakis and Gilbert Gottfried moderated by Rece Davis.

Lil Wayne Gets ESPN Tattoo
Twitter Wit is a book of Twitter's wittiest messages, coming out Fall 2009 from HarperCollins
Alcohol Shot Gun
The "Worst Food Product Ever" May Have Been Found
Trailer for short horror comedy Boob

5 thoughts on "Blow me up, Jon"

  1. The panel could be a football announcing team. Davis and Papadikas in the booth with Carolla and Gottfried as sideline reporters.

  2. I'd be into a panel of Lou Ferrigno, Arnold, Schwarzenegger, and Mike Tyson moderated by Tom Brokaw.

    "Arnogld, GLou, and Michaegl…it's a pgleasure to have you here."

  3. Yesssss – first time on the site without being made fun of by Jon. Oh, wait…

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