"you don't remember"
Anthony: All's quiet on the western front. Not much to report, not much to do. Hornblower was buried yesterday in his hometown and Jon…he's still locked up in Arizona. Free the west Mesa one! Haha. Anyway, the nation's leaders have encouraged America to resume normal life, so we'll try to do just that today.
The one and only returns for a fifth installment.
Molly: What the fuck is this Stupid Little Oscar® Game?
Anthony: [channeling Jon] The result of extreme boredom in AP English class sophomore year of high school. I bet a coupla my classmates that I could correctly predict more Oscar® award winners than they could and put money on the line and lost.
Molly: You gave away your own money?
Anthony: Yee. I gave away $20 of my own money that year.
Molly: That's gay!
Anthony: If you say so. Personally, I think Richard Simmons and Nathan Lane having anal sex is a bit more gay.
Molly: Why didn't you guys just have an Oscar® pool instead?
Anthony: Because people like free shit, and I had (and still have) the mind to capitalize on this very American tendency. Don't get me wrong. I play the SLOG myself. The house plays to keep its money.
Molly: I'm sorry. SLOG?
Anthony: It's what the kids call the game. Originally, it was the Retarded Little Oscar® Game until I realized that RLOG doesn't quite roll off the tongue like SLOG does.
Molly: Okay… So what's the "SLOG" grand prize this year?
Anthony: $100. Same as last year. Bling bling.
Molly: I saw another site with an Oscar® prediction game and they had a 42" Sony plasma digital high-definition flat-screen television system as a grand prize.
Anthony: Oh? Go play their game then. See if I care. Go win a DVD player or a trip to Fiji from aintitcoolwenevergetlaid.com or whatever site you visited. You're not hurting my feelings.
Molly: H-How do I play the SLOG?
Anthony: Fill out the SLOG 5 ballot completely and click on the submit button. That's it. Contact me if you wanna make any changes after sending in your ballot. The deadline is March 24, 2002 at 4:00 PM PST. Few will enter; one will win. SLOG 5 results will be posted March 25, the day after the show. Word has it that the mysterious Adam Riff himself will drop by to present the SLOG 5 winner with his or her Benjamin.
Molly: Whoa. [looks at the SLOG 5 ballot] Hey, I don't know all the movies on here.
Anthony: Nobody does. That's why it's a game, not a final exam. Games involve an element of chance. Then again, I suppose final exams do too, but that's a whole other issue. If it helps, this year, outta pity to our less movie-inclined contestants, I'm-a award a twenty-second place prize of $1 in addition to the grand prize.
Molly: Roight. Well, thanks Anthony!
Anthony: No…thank YU!
1998 – Jose Antonio Vargas (17/24 • 71%)
1999 – Annie Schmidt (14/22 • 64%)
2000 – Derek Fong (16/22 • 73%)
2001 – Shing Hwong (16/23 • 69%)
…and the royal tenenBOMB
1999 – Sima Gandhi (1/22 • 5%)