Better Than Underage Thinking

I had never seen anybody actually say grace before they ate until I came down to southern California. Now I see it every day at every meal – groups of people clasping their hands and bowing their heads to thank God for crappy dorm food. I'm not one to talk smack about Christianity, or write a book review of The Bible for that matter, but these grace-sayers scare the fuck out of me. Especially the Asian ones. Asians and Christianity go together like justice and the Puff Daddy trial. Don't believe me? Click here.

Another bad habit of southern Californians is that they have no concept of recycling. They throw away paper and soda bottles but don't throw me their girlfriends so I can fuck 'em too. Go figure.

Wrestlemania X-Seven is coming! I am too at the thought of Wrestlemania X-Seven!

According to Elvin Lee, I'm cool. Why, then, is Julia Stiles on the cover of the latest Rolling Stone?

It's finals week, and what am I doing? Watching college basketball. It's like ecstasy – I just can't get enough. You know, I pissed my pants over Stanford's near loss to St. Joseph's the other day, but I have faith in my boys. All of you who think Duke is gonna win the NCAA title have your heads up your asses. I'm not giving up on the Cardinal until they lose. Pac-10 be representin' in the Sweet 16!

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