Adam Riff™

16. Father and Son (Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, S01E04)

Stray Observations

• "You love America. Admit it."
  "I was fascinated and repulsed."
  "That's what it means to love America." (The Sympathizer, S01E01)
• "Accepting death isn't surrender. Flowers are only flowers because they fall." (Shogun, S01E09)
• "Xavier would see his Milky Way ghetto become our new throne world." (X-Men '97, S01E06)
• "I was deconstructing the water ice." (Abbott Elementary, S03E10)
• [Austin Powers impression]
  "Okay, I don't know who that's supposed to be, but he sounds responsible." (Abbott Elementary, S03E10)
• "Take another step, Little Caesar. I'll blow that haircut right off your stupid head." (Chucky, S03E06)
• "Oh, my God. This is where Harvey Weinstein ejaculated into a plant."
  "Stop. Iconic." (American Horror Story, S12E08)
• </Conan O'Brien Must Go, S01>
• ♫: Danielle Ponder – Egún (Manhunt, S01E07)
• </Manhunt, S01>

15. Kayfabe (Shogun, S01E08)

Honourable Mention

• Beavis and Butt-head (Saturday Night Live, S49E17)

Stray Observations

• </The Regime, S01>
• "I watched a few, uh, Seinfeld episodes on the plane and shit. You never told me it was a show about weekly ass."
  "It's not a show about weekly ass." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E10)
• "Have you ever tapped some ass on crutches? You ever crutch fuck?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E10)
• "That's my auntie right there. She carries candy in her bra. If we're all lucky, we're gonna get some of that titty-taffy." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E10)
• "I don't understand, why does the judge have to peek at it?"
  "Yeah. They can't make two copies?" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E10)
• </Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12>
• "Forgive Gambit's passive adolescence." (X-Men '97, S01E05)
• "There is no love without sin. For love is best measured in what we forgive." (X-Men '97, S01E05)
• "Go to Genosha. Be with my clone." (X-Men '97, S01E05)
• "Most other nations don't allow a terrorist to be their leader."
  "Yet so many allow their leaders to be terrorists." (X-Men '97, S01E05)
• "Congratulations on making it to the final round. You are only one question away from landing this job. Do you own a jelly bean belt? Seriously?! Dismissed!" (Abbott Elementary, S03E09)
• "Fuck you, Ma-three-gan." (Chucky, S03E05)
• "Now come on, Vaultie. Ass jerky don't make itself." (Fallout, S01E04)
• </Fallout, S01>
• </Ripley, S01>

14. Jumanji (Saturday Night Live, S49E16)

Honourable Mention

• CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins Trade Barbs (WWE Raw, 25 Mar 2024)

Stray Observations

• "No, you didn't have no fucking hunch. Know why? 'Cause your fucking shoulders didn't go up."
  "Your shoulders didn't move."
  "And that mannerism's only good for hunches and shit. See? I had a hunch. You can't use that shit for, 'Fuck you.' Or, you know, 'You cheated on me. You ain't shit. Don't come back here no more.'"
  "It's exclusive to the hunch?"
  "Fuck yeah, it is. You don't use that shit nowhere else." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "You're saying that cannibals prefer Black people to White people?"
  "Fuck yeah, they do."
  "I think he's got a point, 'cause Dahmer mostly ate Black people, did he not?"
  "He did. If the motherfucker did, he'd have to add condiments on you motherfuckers."
  "Yeah, you need condiments for white people." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "And if Chunhua's gon' be there, then maybe Bruce Springsteen would like a hand job." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "He should've said B. If he said B, it's not that far from A."
  "You'd eat in a B?"
  "A B? Yeah, I'd eat at a B."
  "Springsteen eats at a B. I'm shocked." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "This became increasingly evident when I was directing Herman's Head." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "Did Patricia Heaton get a little handsy? Well, that is a tale for my next book." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S12E09)
• "Oh, this appears to be occurring." (Shogun, S01E07)
• "Where is the beauty in this?" (Shogun, S01E07)

(X-Men '97, S01E04)

• "Dazzler had a gig, don't ask." (X-Men '97, S01E04)
• Prof. Ock (Invincible, S02E08)
• Fortnite Dragon's Breath Sniper (Invincible, S02E08)
• </Invincible, S02>
• </Tokyo Vice, S02>

Licking a flamethrower (BMF, S03E06)

13. Unrequited Love (Jerrod Carmichael Reality Show, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

• CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins Trade Barbs (WWE Raw, 25 Mar 2024)

Stray Observations

• "A man may go to war for many reasons – conquest, pride, power. But a woman is simply at war." (Shogun, S01E06)
• "Rogue's really training her stamina with the new boss." (X-Men '97, S01E03)
• "Gambit can never unsee that." (X-Men '97, S01E03)

Looking forward: