Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

37. Sharpie Card Trick (Wizard Wars, S01E04)

WUT.


Honourable Mention

  • The anguish of Rosarita (Matador, S01E09)
  • Wheelchair drag (Sons of Anarchy, S07E01)

Stray Observations

  • The host is Bizarro cartoonist Dan Piraro?! (Utopia, S01E01)
  • String instrument Metallica! (The Leftovers, S01E10)
  • The Leftovers Season Grade: B-
  • Sex in a Beastie Boys shirt (The Strain, S01E09)
  • RT: "Juice ducked off in the cut eating tuna out the can and doing naked pushups in the dark. Crazy as cat shit." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E01)
  • David Wallace! (The Bridge, S02E10)


(Top Chef Duels, S01E06)

#clipoftheweek


Next year, I'm just gonna live in Toronto for the month of September – and Philadelphia for the month of August. And Seattle for July…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

36. Keyser Söze'd (You're the Worst, S01E08)


Stray Observations

  • "I'm a looter." (The Strain, S01E08)
  • Rick Baker cameo – buying wine at a convenience store! (The Strain, S01E08)
  • Jim! (The Strain, S01E08)
  • "I'm awaiting authorization!" (The Strain, S01E08)
  • The topicality of Libby's storyline (Masters of Sex, S02E08)
  • Bill Draper. Will his brother commit suicide too? (Masters of Sex, S02E08)
  • What even is Jaimee's voice? (MasterChef, S05E15)
  • "Jaimee, can you do this?"
    "Hell yeah."
    "Courtney, can you do this?"
    "Yes, chef."
    "Christian, can you do this?"
    "…Yeah, I guess…" (MasterChef, S05E15)
  • Heh. Ve hired all the alums to work on Mockingjay (Face Off, S07E07)


Neville's bishop (Face Off, S07E07)


(The Bridge, S02E09)

  • Charlotte! (The Bridge, S02E09)
  • "I like it when they clap for Bill Murray." (You're the Worst, S01E08)


(You're the Worst, S01E08)

  • A black lad named Trayvon? A black lad named Trayvon (Black Jesus, S01E05)
  • "He supposed to die on the cross, not the Escalade!" (Black Jesus, S01E05)


(The Knick, S01E04)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

35. Controlling Water Illusion (Wizard Wars, S01E02)


Stray Observations

  • Kevin doesn't get Nyan Cat (The Leftovers, S01E09)
  • "Every man rebels against the idea that this is fuckin' it – fights windmills, saves fuckin' damsels, all in search of greater purpose. You have no greater purpose because it is enough." (The Leftovers, S01E09)
  • Mr. Quinlan! (The Strain, S01E07)
  • That was Stephen McHattie as Mr. Quinlan? (The Strain, S01E07)
  • Going Deep with David Rees Season Grade: B-
  • Whoa! (Matador, S01E07)
  • Both of his hands?! (Matador, S01E07)
  • …Oh. (Matador, S01E07)
  • Scott Ian eating anchovies (Restaurant Startup, S01E08)
  • "This needs a delicate touch. Call The Chopper." (The Bridge, S02E08)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


34. Simon Sees (Nathan For You, S02E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Is business about to pick up? (The Strain, S01E06)
  • Patti recites the second stanza of Yeats' "Michael Robartes bids his Beloved be at Peace" (The Leftovers, S01E08)
  • Libby's got jungle fever (Masters of Sex, S02E06)
  • "Gonna hit the buffet at the Spearmint Rhino. You down?"
    "No, I'm gonna stick around here, put in a little work."
    "You sure, man? Boobies and food…" (Matador, S01E06)
  • "I'm an idiot businessman with a small dick." (Nathan For You, S02E08)
  • "We shared popcorn. We weren't masturbating there."
    "We just have one board for both. These cork boards are like $20." (Nathan For You, S02E08)
  • Nathan For You Season Grade: A-
  • Magic incorporating SPAM (Wizard Wars, S01E01)
  • "When a dude with puka shells runs away from you, you are on to something." (The Bridge, S02E07)
  • The Honourable Woman Season Grade: C+
  • Rectify Season Grade: C+
  • "In fact, you interrupted my preparations." (The Knick, S01E03)
  • RT: The fight with Algernon outside the bar was done with a rig on Andre's back and GoPro cameras (The Knick, S01E03)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


33. A Selfish Act (Utopia, S02E06)


Stray Observations

  • "I love how passionate you are about pepperoni." (Masters of Sex, S02E05)
  • Weird Al, Bob Dylan, and Mr. Wonderful in one episode (WWE Raw, 08-11-14)
  • "We're just…licking our fingers at the match factory!" (Going Deep with David Rees, S01E08)
  • Share a Coke with Ian (Utopia, S02E06)
  • Utopia Season Grade: B+
  • "One eye is dollar sign, one eye is safety. Dollar in one eyes, and babies in the other eyes." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • "Man, I'm from Brooklyn. I'd rather have a pizza." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • "The baby sign was gone from his eyes and replaced with another dollar sign." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • Wilfred Season Grade: C-
  • Keaton Henson! (Rectify, S02E09)
  • "This little light of mine, we gon' grow some pot…" (Black Jesus, S01E02)
  • "Whoo! Back ain't been the same since I carried them fat girls across the River Nile trying to get away from them soldiers, man." (Black Jesus, S01E02)
  • "Have you…had cocaine before?"
    "No."
    "You're going to feel nothing in your arm and wonderful everywhere else. It's truly a miracle." (The Knick, S01E02)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

32. Neighbours (The Strain, S01E04)


Stray Observations

  • Music: Slayer – "Angel of Death" (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • Holy Wayne only accepts payment by PayPal (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • "Surely a live dog is better than a dead lion." (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • Halt and Catch Fire Season Grade: C+
  • HHH trapping Brie in a corner (WWE Raw, 08-04-14)
  • Boobs on basic cable! (Matador, S01E04)
  • "Disguised as a female bowler in religious garb…" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • RT: "Oh my god, the 9/11 truther on Nathan For You last night is probably my favorite TV moment of the 21st century" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • "(Burkas provided)" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • RT: "The Bill Gates impersonator from Nathan For You deserves every Emmy, and all other awards as well" (Nathan For You, S02E06)


(Nathan For You, S02E06)


(Wilfred, S04E08)

  • Mike Clattenburg [Trailer Park Boys] co-created this programme? (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Nigga-Wan Kenobi." (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • Korean ladies randomly giving Jesus a wonderful basket of shit (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Michael! Chandler! Ross!" (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Komaki has so many places in his body to be beaten, but he only chooses to hit his balls." (Jonah From Tonga, S01E01)
  • Cliff Martinez's score is so Cliff Martinez (The Knick, S01E01)
  • 2014: The year of fatal gunshots to Matt Frewer's head (The Knick, S01E01)
  • Bono's daughter injecting cocaine into Clive Owen's dick (The Knick, S01E01)
  • Outlander's theme song is ludicrously catchy (Outlander, S01E01)
  • Happy Valley Season Grade: C+

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


31. Hate Crime (The Leftovers, S01E05)

Poor Kathy Geiss.


Honourable Mention

  • Gabe's dick falls off (The Strain, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • The actor who plays Corey Stoll's son also played his son on House of Cards (The Strain, S01E03)
  • "It's on Zillow." (The Strain, S01E03)
  • "Hello. I'm Macintosh." – yes! (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E09)


(Chopped, S21E03)


(Nathan For You, S02E05) – a "television episode of the year" nominee

  • "Dumb Norah Jones Duets." (Nathan For You, S02E05)
  • After replacing Dwight Yoakam with William Baldwin as Bruce, replacing Mary Steenburgen with Mimi Rogers as Ryan's mother (Wilfred, S04E07)
  • "I'm a three-legged dog, dude!" – finally something happens (Wilfred, S04E07)
  • "Can't you put me in protective custody or something? Somewhere cool, like Seattle or Banff." (The Bridge, S02E04)
  • "When it comes to the Middle East, you never ever try to play the Israelis." (The Honourable Woman, S01E05)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

30. Routine Maintenance (Utopia, S02E03)


Honourable Mention

  • "Garden of the gods" meal (Food Network Star, S10E08)
  • Paul Heyman's promo (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)

Stray Observations

  • "At COMDEX, lavish equals shrimp." (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E08)
  • COMDEX is the new TechCrunch Disrupt (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E08)
  • Closed captioning: "'I Love You' song from Barney playing faintly" (The Strain, S01E02)


(MasterChef, S05E09)


Steph's gnarly cleavage (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)

  • "Is this a hybrid?" (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)
  • The teen actor (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • The stripper cop (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • "Underneath that dragon is our mattress." (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • Chickens and a peacock in a tree (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • John Cale! (The Bridge, S02E03)
  • "I say we act like white people and disappear and let our lawyer do the talking." (The Bridge, S02E03)
  • Jared's hair is approaching Eraserhead level (Rectify, S02E06)
  • Martin being a pimp (Friday Night Dinner, S03E06)
  • Friday Night Dinner Season Grade: C-

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


29. Conan and Dave Franco Join Tinder (Conan, 07-14-14)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "I'd be quitting for Zach so he isn't driving around Queens in a green goddamn Prius." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Captain and Tennille on The Leftovers, Neil Diamond on The Strain (The Leftovers, S01E03, The Strain, S01E01)
  • Music: Molotov – "Gimme the Power" (The Strain, S01E01)
  • "Love, you see, is the one force that cannot be explained, cannot be broken down into a chemical process. It is the beacon that guides us back home when no one is there, and the light that illuminates our loss. Its absence robs us of all pleasure, of our capacity for joy. It makes our nights darker, and our days gloomier. But when we find love, no matter how wrong, how sad, or how terrible, we cling to it. It gives us our strength. It holds us upright. It feeds on us, and we feed on it. Love is our grace. Love is our downfall." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Artemis! (Masters of Sex, S02E01)
  • Ygritte! (Utopia, S02E01)
  • "Should the time come, I'm to be your daughter's torturer." (Utopia, S02E01)
  • 24 Season Grade: B
  • Palpatine! (Utopia, S02E02)


(Matador, S01E01)

  • "Mention this gravestone for a 15% discount." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "Asian, black, Hispanic, old." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "I like Call of Duty and pussy." (The Bridge, S02E02)


(Loiter Squad, S03E10)

  • Loiter Squad Season Grade: C+
  • "What's your dog called?"
    "Piano."
    "Right. Is it, um, really called 'Piano'?"
    "What do you think?"
    [pause] (Friday Night Dinner, S03E05)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


28. The Web (Nathan For You, S02E02)

It plays better in context, that context being a "Television Episode of the Year" nominee.


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "You're all suffering and no salvation." (The Leftovers, S01E02)
  • The cast of Perfect Strangers vanished (The Leftovers, S01E02)


You eediot! (24, S09E10)

  • "But what happens when the bullets start to fly?"
    [pause]
    "You're gonna wanna try and stay low." (24, S09E11)
  • William, the professional Bill Gates impersonator (Nathan For You, S02E02)
  • "Our next short is a documentary called Me Farting on Command." (Nathan For You, S02E02)
  • "Of course, it's a hybrid, so it ain't like we could wait it out." (The Bridge, S02E01)
  • Rutger Hauer! (Wilfred, S04E04)
  • Events at the Secret Rose Theatre on both Nathan For You and Loiter Squad this week (Loiter Squad, S03E09)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


27. Exorcisms (Nathan For You, S02E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Cold open (The Honourable Woman, S01E01)
  • "Werner Herzog" describes Good Will Hunting: Port of Call – Los Angeles (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)

Stray Observations

  • Music: Max Richter – "The Twins (Prague)" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Buddy Garrity! (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Justin Theroux: NOT Ron Livingston (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • The "spin the bottle" wheel: Screw, Hug, Burn, Hickey, Suck, [indecipherable three-letter word], Choke, Bite, The Tip, Titty, Fuck, Kiss, Slap (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Why is he undressing to be choked? […] Oh. Heh (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Music: James Blake – "Retrograde" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Free association: Guilty Remnant = Danielson Famile (The Leftovers, S01E01)


(The Leftovers, S01E01)

  • Music: Max Richter – "Vladimir's Blues" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • The Leftovers' director of photography was Breaking Bad's DP (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • [Anachronistic] Music: Big Black Delta – "Capsize" (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E05)
  • "Will you read my future?"
    "I don't know that you have one."
    "Everyone has a future."
    "Not everyone. Some people only have a past."
    "Then read my past."
    "Then you would have no more mystery." (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • "Show business – all bitches." (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • Rory Kinnear for "best supporting actor" (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • Penny Dreadful Season Grade: C+
  • Baby octopus Jell-O shots (Frankenfood, S01E04)
  • "I really want bone marrow under that box. I could really get down and dirty with some bone marrow." (MasterChef, S05E06)


"Mark, pleeease!" (24, S09E10)

  • "Okay, you can talk to him, but if you cross the line, I'm pulling you."
    "Just so we're clear, I wasn't asking. That was me being courteous." (24, S09E10)
  • "Full immunity is not on the table – but your hand is." (24, S09E10)
  • Return of the one villain that got away (24, S09E10)
  • Pivoting to a world war with two episodes left? (24, S09E10)
  • RT: "'Pasadena: Where the pain of your family doesn't follow you.' They should really use that as a tourist slogan" (Tyrant, S01E02)


(Nathan For You, S02E01)

  • "A ghost choked you in Switzerland?" (Nathan For You, S02E01)
  • Music: Radiohead – "How to Disappear Completely" (The Honourable Woman, S01E01)
  • Music: The Low Anthem – "Charlie Darwin" (Rectify, S02E03)
  • James Adomian's Gordon Ramsay impersonation (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)
  • "So Alison, you were in the movie Scream 4…"
    "It's actually pronounced 'AHHHH!!! 4.'" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)
  • "You want to be Montell Jordans or a loser?" (Loiter Squad, S03E08)
  • PSA tag (Loiter Squad, S03E08)
  • "Little Caesars: It's the only thing better than getting what you want." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E11)
  • Lulz at Fig neutralizing the accountant with the promise of meeting Tiki Barber (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Tiki discussing Foucault (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • How do they all know how to sing "Stay" by Lisa Loeb? (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Sideshow Vee (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Six months after Randy described Toy Story 3 on Enlisted, Morello describes Toy Story (Orange Is the New Black, S02E13)
  • RT: "a black guy knowing the words to Deep Blue Something's 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' is complete and utter bullshit" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E13)
  • Orange Is the New Black Season Grade: B-

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

Midway point!

26. Red Wedding 2 (24, S09E09)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "It's not weird, it's brothers." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "Who's your Lori Loughlin?" (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "Why is this punch brown?"
    "It's gin and chocolate milk, dawgs." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "I'm the Beyoncé of this platoon, man."
    "I'm the Anne Heche." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • Enlisted Season Grade: C+
  • The best part of this show is the opening credits (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E04)
  • Shame that Eva Green isn't eligible for an Emmy this year (Penny Dreadful, S01E07)


(Frankenfood, S01E01)


(Frankenfood, S01E01)


(Frankenfood, S01E02)


(Frankenfood, S01E02)

  • "I am the President of the United States of America and I just gave you an order."
    "I am not American citizen. This is not America." (24, S09E09)
  • "Get ready. Margot may have set up a perimeter." (24, S09E09)
  • Barry's father couldn't buy out a better aircraft? Where are the showers and lie-flat seats? (Tyrant, S01E01)
  • Tyrants love Aerosmith! (Tyrant, S01E01)
  • "Look, Em, there's a Subway" – not sure if product placement… (Tyrant, S01E01)


(Loiter Squad, S03E07)

  • Who is that Asian dude on the show this season? (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • "I'm not a slave, I'm me!" (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • "You must not know who I am. I'm all that!" (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • Why doesn't Red just escape through the grate in the greenhouse? She knows a human can fit inside… (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "Ugh. It's full of Fleet Foxes and shit!" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "If you're not building a future, that's because you don't believe there is a future. You've given up on yourself. You're a loser." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "No one gives a shit about old ladies. We remind everyone that they're gonna die." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E08)
  • Mule Variations! (Orange Is the New Black, S02E09)

#clipoftheweek


Looking forward:

We declined our second-year option on Ray Donovan.


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

25. Brienne of Tarth vs. The Hound (Game of Thrones, S04E10)

It's HBO, so "embedding disabled by request."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "DeMarcus Cousins is an emotional lesbian." (Jimmy Kimmel Live, 06-15-14)
  • Game of Thrones Season Grade: B+
  • "What do those people do, those who have been chosen?"
    "They endure uniqueness."
    "To be alien, to be disenfranchised from those around you, is that not a dreadful curse?"
    "To be different, to be powerful, is that not a divine gift?"
    "To be alone."
    "To be seeking."
    "What?"
    "A lover."
    "Like you?"
    "Who shares your rarity."
    "Then you are no longer unique."
    "Nor are you alone." (Penny Dreadful, S01E06)
  • RT: "The coder gets a botched Black Flag tattoo and it inspires her to write code on a mirror" (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E03)
  • "If she dies, so be it." (24, S09E08)
  • "The only way we can stop this from happening is to find Margot fast, so wake the bitch up." (24, S09E08)
  • Kim Raver's dreadful grieving – "I will never trust you again!" (24, S09E08)
  • RT: "When you think about it, an American president assassinated by a missile in an empty Wembley Stadium would be the most insane story ever" (24, S09E08)
  • RT: "Maron's words to Louis in the bar are word for word what Louis said to Maron on his WTF ep" (Louie, S04E14)
  • Louie Season Grade: C+
  • The used car salesman declined to buy life insurance from Lester in the pilot (Fargo, S01E10)


RT: "It was Billy's idea that Gus shoots him and he appears to be dead and then he sits up with that grimace and smile with the bloody teeth. That was Billy's desire to do it that way" (Fargo, S01E10)

  • Fargo Season Grade: B
  • Scott Aukerman DGAF about shaving (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E07)
  • Orphan Black Season Grade: C+
  • "Prison…is gluten. Don't commit the crime if you can't fuckin' have flour." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E03)


Bad CGI (Orange Is the New Black, S02E03)

  • "Inspector Gadget was not a good detective. He just had a lot of stuff. Plus, he had Penny and the Brain helping him." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E04)
  • "Skip the play. Take her to dinner."
    "Italian."
    "What, romantic Indian? Come on…" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "Fuck Clive Owen. Don't ever let go." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "Man, they fuckin' with us this way 'cause they know our people's predisposition for hypertension!" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • Gloria's unfazed sons (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "We are…Side Boob." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

24. Nosebleed (Veep, S03E09)


Honourable Mention

  • Donkey Kong (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • Tracking Shot (Game of Thrones, S04E09)
  • Drone Pursuit (24, S09E07)

Stray Observations

  • In the Flesh Season Grade: C+
  • Parker Young's Bill Cosby impression (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • Knock-off "Black Skinhead" instrumental (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • "What will happen the next time the mob comes?" (Cosmos, S01E13)
  • Cosmos Season Grade: C+


Naked Eva Green humping air (Penny Dreadful, S01E05)

  • "Post-script: Your father loves you very much and would do anything to save you. But I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you." (Penny Dreadful, S01E05)
  • "Siri, why does God allow suffering?" (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Violence solves everything." (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Someone has just flown two planes into my career." (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Thornhill, Chung, and Maddox are continuing on for now."
    "Oh, those fuckers. God, can't we just take 'em out? Is Jack Ruby still alive?" (Veep, S03E10)
  • "The fuck stops here, Dan." (Veep, S03E10)
  • "Jesus. If I come in third, this could be the shortest administration in history."
    "Yeah, like a Snapchat presidency." (Veep, S03E10)
  • "I came in third, Amy, okay? Even the Nazis came in second." (Veep, S03E10)
  • Veep Season Grade: A-


Extras (24, S09E07)

  • Jack drives a left hand drive car in London (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "Jack Bauer punched a random man out and stole his car, and then stole a brick from a homeless person. Out-of-context 24 is great" (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "They should have a web series about people who have been Bauered trying to make claims to their insurance companies" (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "Have [an Allstate commercial] with Logan's limo driver after Jack Robocops them. And then the cut away to President Palmer just shaking his head. 'When Jack Bauer shouts 'You have to trust me!' you'd better have Allstate'" (24, S09E07)
  • "Weezy's basically a Jew in the bedroom."
    "Oh, you mean she wears a wig and makes you do it through a hole in the sheet?" (Fargo, S01E09)
  • "See you later, Lester. See you soon." (Fargo, S01E09)
  • "No good ever came from a piece of cherry pie." (Fargo, S01E09)


(Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E06)

  • Vice Season Grade: C+
  • "As long as no one finds a body, we're clear, so we dump him in the lake – with weights."
    "Do we have a boat?! Have you ever seen Dexter? I mean, random scuba divers are finding everything!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "She thinks there's five of you."
    "There's eleven, esé!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "Smile! Have a shitty day!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "Would you like horse baby? Cow baby…" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • Insemination syringe butt rape! (Orphan Black, S02E09)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

23. The Perfect Equation (Silicon Valley, S01E08)

"Embedding disabled by request."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • No Keaton Henson song! (In the Flesh, S02E05)
  • "She wasn't made for outdoor use. Those colors do run!" (Enlisted, S01E10)
  • "I'm kinda over the whole downstairs shaving thing. I mean, if I'm honest, it's a good look. It's sleek, it actually adds an optic inch…" (Enlisted, S01E10)
  • "Come, Reek, I'll be needing a bath." (Game of Thrones, S04E08)
  • "Poison's a woman's weapon. Men kill with steel." (Game of Thrones, S04E08)


(Game of Thrones, S04E08)

  • A Dorian Gray orgy! (Penny Dreadful, S01E04)
  • Kara Swisher (Silicon Valley, S01E08)
  • Silicon Valley Season Grade: C+
  • "People don't elect elves, okay? They put them to work in grottos or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them."
    "Okay, that's dwarves." (Veep, S03E08)
  • "No, don't look at the twitch. Focus on the dead dad lady!" (Veep, S03E08)
  • "Are they loopholes or are they legitimate holes?" (Veep, S03E08)
  • "We all want to live above the hole." (Veep, S03E08)
  • Leslie is Melissa Joan Hart's stepfather (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Lamb meatloaf with couscous, blue cheese sauce, and chili flakes (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Caribbean meatloaf with lemongrass, soy sauce, and mango (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Aksel Hennie slumming it as a guest star (24, S04E09)
  • "Everybody in this part of western Brooklyn is already dead. Everybody in this part of Brooklyn will be dead by four o'clock tomorrow." (Louie, S04E09)
  • "Don't get caught by AIDS." (Louie, S04E10)
  • "This would be rape if you weren't so stupid. God, you can't even rape well!" (Louie, S04E10)
  • "Don't you 'Mrs. Hess' me. I was picking your pubes out of my teeth 12 hours ago." (Fargo, S01E08)
  • "I let you cum inside of me!" (Fargo, S01E08)
  • "You're unemployed now, by the way." (Fargo, S01E08)
  • IceJJFish! (Loiter Squad, S03E04)
  • Free association: Tony = Lance on Portlandia (Orphan Black, S02E08)
  • "Helium is way funnier than polonium." (Orphan Black, S02E08)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

22. Peggy's First Pitch (Mad Men, S07E07)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Jorts (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "That is a very sensitive piece of horse flesh! He shouldn't be rattled!" (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "What do I do now?" (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "Every time an old man starts talking about Napoleon, you know they're going to die." (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "Pete's pregnant. He has to do what we say." (Mad Men, S07E07)


(Mad Men, S07E07)

  • Mad Men Season Grade: B-
  • "He smells like kale!" (Louie, S04E07)


(Louie, S04E08)

  • "This one calls an ambulance. That one calls the hearse." (Fargo, S01E07)
  • "What?! It's fresh!" (Fargo, S01E07)
  • Maron parody tag (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E04)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

21. The Red Supper (Hannibal, S02E13)

WHAT.

A Television Episode of the Year nominee.


Honourable Mention

  • TechCrunch Disrupt Competition Presentations (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • Don's Death (Fargo, S01E06)
  • Whiteout Pursuit (Fargo, S01E06)
  • Lightskin Awareness Foundation (Loiter Squad, S03E02)

Stray Observations

  • "Dad's tied up somewhere!"
    "[gasps] He's in a meeting, and he's going to be there for a while!" (Bob's Burgers, S04E22)
  • Bob's Burgers Season Grade: B-
  • The Amazing Race Season Grade: D
  • "Giant elliptical galaxies are something like…Florida, where the oldest stars in the universe may be found." (Cosmos, S01E11)
  • "I want you shopping all day, and screwing all night." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "You've seen your daughter for the year. Don't you have a plane to catch?" (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • RT: "The flood gates have opened! First FX let's the word fuck loose uncensored on Louie and now AMC let's one fly on Mad Men" (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "I want you to feel good about what you're doing, but you'll never know. That's just the job."
    "What's the job?"
    "Living in the not knowing." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "You'd love Detroit. We could have a mansion." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "Man does not live only in the empirical world. He must seek the ephemeral, or why live?" (Penny Dreadful, S01E02)
  • "I've seen quite a few new companies. Spinder… It's like Tinder but for spinsters…" (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • "Do you have those spotlights that come up from the ground, like in PRIDE Fighting?" (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • "Death, glory, folly, tragedy – it's got all the four main mood groups." (Veep, S03E07)
  • "You know what 'intrinsic' means?"
    "Yeah."
    "Yeah, I try to learn a word a day. I love words very ardently." (Veep, S03E07)
  • "Fat people don't even vote! They can't even be bothered to get out of the house, you know? There's no food in the voting booth…" (Veep, S03E07)
  • "I need to be driven to the airport at Diana speed." (Veep, S03E07)
  • Michelle Fairley's daughter looks like Sophie Turner – bizarro Catelyn and Sansa Stark (24, S09E04)
  • "I'm told you just shot two people out in front of the embassy."
    "I barely grazed them, sir."
    "How do you know that?"
    "Because I pulled the trigger." (24, S09E04)
  • "Christopher Columbus is a murderer. They want me to draw a picture of him smiling." (Louie, S04E05)
  • Whoa. Louis' love interest is Eva in Stranger Than Paradise, and this is her first acting role in 18 years (Louie, S04E05)
  • RT: "The J and L keys on Louie's phone weren't working at the beginning of the episode. He literally couldn't communicate about Jane and Lily" (Louie, S04E06)
  • "I love being with you. It's like my fourth favourite thing."
    "What are the first three?"
    "Uhh… Okay, number three… Riding elephants. Love it. Number two… Collecting hydrogen. My hydrogen collection is awesome. And number one would have to be…remembering being with you." (Louie, S04E06)
  • "Do you know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog." (Louie, S04E06)
  • From Dusk Till Dawn Season Grade: D+
  • Modern Family Season Grade: C
  • The Reagan paintings this season… (The Americans, S02E13)
  • Even in Stan's dream, Martha is stealing files off the mail robot (The Americans, S02E13)
  • "Paige is your daughter, but she's not just yours. She belongs to the cause, and to the world." (The Americans, S02E13)
  • The Americans Season Grade: B
  • "So, tell me about this American version of our beloved British Office."
    "So, instead of Dawn, for example, my character's name is Pam."
    "Bloody hell!"
    "Oh, and none of our cast members are outspoken about their atheism." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E03)
  • "Sweet Chin Music," "Figure Four Leg Lock," "Sharpshooter" – season three episodes of Loiter Squad are titled after wrestling finishing moves
  • "We are orchestrations of carbon, you and me." (Hannibal, S02E13)
  • "I died. I'm between deaths."
    "The punctuation at the end of a sentence gives meaning to every word, every space that proceeded it."
    "You moved my punctuation mark, Dr. Lecter. You moved my meaning." (Hannibal, S02E13)
  • Hannibal Season Grade: A

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

20. Mason Verger feeds his face to Will's dogs, eats his own nose (Hannibal, S02E12)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Music: Keaton Henson – "Flesh and Bone" (In the Flesh, S02E02)
  • Mr. Goiter, Lady Big Nose, Mr. Down There Hair, Henry Human Feet, Dr. Big Butt (Bob's Burgers, S04E21)
  • Stirring score for the final 90 seconds (Cosmos, S01E10)
  • "I'm sorry you no longer have a father." (Game of Thrones, S04E06)
  • Mort Drucker reference! (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • RT: "By the end of the series, I *will* be Clarinet Negro #2 on Mad Men" (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • "I'm not stupid! I speak Italian!" (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by computers, slicing hysterical nipple (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • Jared's self-driving car story is TOO absurd (Silicon Valley, S01E06)
  • "What is 'Marimba, America'?"
    "Marimba, that alarm that's on your phone when you wake up. It's like, 'Wake up, America!'" (Veep, S03E06)
  • "In my country, politics is a lot more honest."
    "In your country, people fuck snow – and I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect." (Veep, S03E06)
  • Prey Season Grade: C+
  • Top Chef Canada Season Grade: C
  • 24: A show about damaged people combatting terrorism (24, S09E03)
  • "Parliament" (24, S09E03)
  • How do the guards at the embassy not recognize Jack Bauer? (24, S09E03)
  • "Don't say no. No is stupid. No is for queers.'" (Louie, S04E03)
  • "And here's to you, Mrs. Pee Pee Face…" (Louie, S04E04)
  • "Only a fool thinks he can solve the world's problems."
    "Yeah, but you got to try, don't you?" (Fargo, S01E05)
  • "It was the Romans, wasn't it?"
    "What are you saying?"
    "St. Lawrence, your window. The Romans burned him alive."
    "They did."
    "You know why?"
    "'Cause he was Christian."
    "Maybe. But I think it was because the Romans were raised by wolves. Greatest empire in human history, founded by wolves. You know what wolves do. They hunt. They kill. It's why I never bought into The Jungle Book. Boy is raised by wolves, he becomes friends with a bear and a panther. I don't think so. I knew a guy once, had a 110-pound Rottweiler, and one night this girl thought it would be funny to get down on all fours and let the dog hump her. Dog still had its balls. Well, the dog gets up there, but he's not in on the joke. This is just a bitch in heat as far as he's concerned, and he's not leaving until he gets what he came for. Well, the girl, too late, realizes the kind of mistake she's made, she wants to get up. But the dog had other ideas. Had to shoot it behind the ear to get it off her."
    "I don't…"
    "Well, I'm saying that the Romans, raised by wolves, they see a guy turning water into wine, what do they do? They eat him, 'cause there are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast and dinner." (Fargo, S01E05)
  • A post-coital condom pass/tissue wipe on television! (The Americans, S02E12)
  • Shark Tank Season Grade: B
  • "Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude."
    "Free range rude." (Hannibal, S02E12)
  • "Hannibal can get lost in self-congratulation at his own exquisite taste and cunning. Whimsy, that will be how he will get caught." (Hannibal, S02E12)
  • "Whomever's pursuing whom at this very moment, I intend to eat them." (Hannibal, S02E12)


RT: "Michael Pitt runs his lines" (Hannibal, S02E12)

  • Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


19. Texans respond to a severe drought (Vice, S02E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "We are the undead, we are the redeemed." (In the Flesh, S02E01)
  • What happens when this show runs out of Keaton Henson songs to use? (In the Flesh, S02E01)
  • "Congratulations, you're alive." (Cosmos, S01E09)
  • "You know what kind of stories poor men enjoy the most? Ones about rich girls they'll never meet." (Game of Thrones, S04E05)
  • "Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls." (Game of Thrones, S04E05)
  • Kubrick film references (Mad Men, S07E04)


Kumail Nanjiani + T.J. Miller (Silicon Valley, S01E05)

  • "I think you have just the right amount of…grit in your oyster." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "You attacked me with a burrito. The juice could've gotten in my eyes, Dan. The spicy burrito juice." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "Desperate Dan, Flailing Amy, Crippled Gary, Jizzy Mike." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "I'm a Prosecco man." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum!" (Veep, S03E05)
  • Jack Bauer is now a cyborg (24, S09E01)


RT: "Jack Bauer's confirmed kill list starts with S1 names. Like he never killed before?" (24, S09E01)

  • "'Dear AIDS'?"
    "We have to write a letter to AIDS as an assignment. I don't know what to say to AIDS."
    "Umm… 'Dear AIDS, please cut it out? Uh… How's the weather in AIDS land?'" (Louie, S04E01)
  • "Clean jokes: 1. Chickens are dumb." (Louie, S04E02)
  • In one night, Yvonne Strahovski is headbutted in the face by Jack Bauer and elbowed in the face by Louis C.K. (24, S09E02 / Louie, S04E02)
  • Bates Motel Season Grade: C
  • New Girl Season Grade: C-
  • "I can do Temple of Doom, man, but Crystal Skull, I'm out." (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E08)
  • "Put it down."
    "But it's a new phone…" (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "Nobody likes being watched while they eat."
    "Some people do."
    "What people?"
    "Mormons." (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "How come the human eye can see more shades of green than any other colour?"
    "Because of predators. Used to be we were monkeys, right? And in the woods, in the jungle, everything's green, so in order to not get eaten by panthers and bears and the like, we had to be able to see them in grass and trees and such." (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "Star Wars: Episode VII – Boss Nass Is Back." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E01)
  • The Trip to Italy Season Grade: C-
  • Eating Ortolan Bunting! (Hannibal, S02E11)
  • YTMND'd: "Have a chocolate!" (Hannibal, S02E11)
  • Dead Ringers homage (Hannibal, S02E11)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

18. Lomo Saltado (Hannibal, S02E10)

"You slice the ginger."


Stray Observations

  • "I will fight injustice with justice." (Game of Thrones, S04E04)
  • A Kingslayer Bros. spin-off (Game of Thrones, S04E04)
  • "Eat your candy." (Mad Men, S07E03)
  • "I lose women and what am I left with? I'm left with gay Latinos and…Jews at college, I guess." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I am balls deep in this omelette." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "My brain feels like it's being fuckin' circumcised." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I am gonna get some air and then throw up in it." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I got a hangover worse than the film they made after The Hangover." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "No, ma'am, that's Ron Jeremy."
    "I know. He's a great actor. He was Scar in The Lion King." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "The Smarch learns quickly. It's like it has an Asian mother." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "We see ourselves as very much post-tax." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "Fuck you stepdad 1 and stepdad 3!" (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I'm taking these people back to dial-up." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "Next week, we have Rupert Grint from the Harry Potter movies." [more applause than Selina] (Veep, S03E04)
  • "We've withdrawn our offer."
    "Well, 'like.' Sorry, wrong company." (Veep, S03E04)
  • Yay Eric (MasterChef Canada, S01E15)
  • MasterChef Canada Season Grade: C
  • "You must include Hellmann's mayonnaise in one of your healthy dishes." (Top Chef Canada, S04E08)
  • "Everybody's mother lives inside them." (Bates Motel, S02E09)
  • Here we go. The episode with the twist (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E07)


(From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E07)


(Fargo, S01E03)

  • Portlandia Season Grade: C+
  • Review Season Grade: C+
  • "Where do you stand on Michael Bublé?"
    "His windpipe?" (The Trip to Italy, S02E05)


(Hannibal, S02E10)

  • "In love, you take leave of your senses, but in hatred, you must be present to calculate your actions." (Hannibal, S02E10)
  • Jack Bauer is a Rihanna fan (Saturday Night Live, S39E19)

#clipoftheweek


I saw Richard Linklater's Boyhood on Friday.

During a Q&A before the screening, he said that television is where it's at right now, but that he doesn't have any ideas for television.

Well, filmed intermittently over 12 years, from 2001 to 2013, Boyhood is a variation on a television series.