Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


31. Hate Crime (The Leftovers, S01E05)

Poor Kathy Geiss.


Honourable Mention

  • Gabe's dick falls off (The Strain, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • The actor who plays Corey Stoll's son also played his son on House of Cards (The Strain, S01E03)
  • "It's on Zillow." (The Strain, S01E03)
  • "Hello. I'm Macintosh." – yes! (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E09)


(Chopped, S21E03)


(Nathan For You, S02E05) – a "television episode of the year" nominee

  • "Dumb Norah Jones Duets." (Nathan For You, S02E05)
  • After replacing Dwight Yoakam with William Baldwin as Bruce, replacing Mary Steenburgen with Mimi Rogers as Ryan's mother (Wilfred, S04E07)
  • "I'm a three-legged dog, dude!" – finally something happens (Wilfred, S04E07)
  • "Can't you put me in protective custody or something? Somewhere cool, like Seattle or Banff." (The Bridge, S02E04)
  • "When it comes to the Middle East, you never ever try to play the Israelis." (The Honourable Woman, S01E05)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

30. Routine Maintenance (Utopia, S02E03)


Honourable Mention

  • "Garden of the gods" meal (Food Network Star, S10E08)
  • Paul Heyman's promo (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)

Stray Observations

  • "At COMDEX, lavish equals shrimp." (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E08)
  • COMDEX is the new TechCrunch Disrupt (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E08)
  • Closed captioning: "'I Love You' song from Barney playing faintly" (The Strain, S01E02)


(MasterChef, S05E09)


Steph's gnarly cleavage (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)

  • "Is this a hybrid?" (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)
  • The teen actor (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • The stripper cop (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • "Underneath that dragon is our mattress." (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • Chickens and a peacock in a tree (Nathan For You, S02E04)
  • John Cale! (The Bridge, S02E03)
  • "I say we act like white people and disappear and let our lawyer do the talking." (The Bridge, S02E03)
  • Jared's hair is approaching Eraserhead level (Rectify, S02E06)
  • Martin being a pimp (Friday Night Dinner, S03E06)
  • Friday Night Dinner Season Grade: C-

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


29. Conan and Dave Franco Join Tinder (Conan, 07-14-14)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "I'd be quitting for Zach so he isn't driving around Queens in a green goddamn Prius." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Captain and Tennille on The Leftovers, Neil Diamond on The Strain (The Leftovers, S01E03, The Strain, S01E01)
  • Music: Molotov – "Gimme the Power" (The Strain, S01E01)
  • "Love, you see, is the one force that cannot be explained, cannot be broken down into a chemical process. It is the beacon that guides us back home when no one is there, and the light that illuminates our loss. Its absence robs us of all pleasure, of our capacity for joy. It makes our nights darker, and our days gloomier. But when we find love, no matter how wrong, how sad, or how terrible, we cling to it. It gives us our strength. It holds us upright. It feeds on us, and we feed on it. Love is our grace. Love is our downfall." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Artemis! (Masters of Sex, S02E01)
  • Ygritte! (Utopia, S02E01)
  • "Should the time come, I'm to be your daughter's torturer." (Utopia, S02E01)
  • 24 Season Grade: B
  • Palpatine! (Utopia, S02E02)


(Matador, S01E01)

  • "Mention this gravestone for a 15% discount." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "Asian, black, Hispanic, old." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "I like Call of Duty and pussy." (The Bridge, S02E02)


(Loiter Squad, S03E10)

  • Loiter Squad Season Grade: C+
  • "What's your dog called?"
    "Piano."
    "Right. Is it, um, really called 'Piano'?"
    "What do you think?"
    [pause] (Friday Night Dinner, S03E05)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


28. The Web (Nathan For You, S02E02)

It plays better in context, that context being a "Television Episode of the Year" nominee.


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "You're all suffering and no salvation." (The Leftovers, S01E02)
  • The cast of Perfect Strangers vanished (The Leftovers, S01E02)


You eediot! (24, S09E10)

  • "But what happens when the bullets start to fly?"
    [pause]
    "You're gonna wanna try and stay low." (24, S09E11)
  • William, the professional Bill Gates impersonator (Nathan For You, S02E02)
  • "Our next short is a documentary called Me Farting on Command." (Nathan For You, S02E02)
  • "Of course, it's a hybrid, so it ain't like we could wait it out." (The Bridge, S02E01)
  • Rutger Hauer! (Wilfred, S04E04)
  • Events at the Secret Rose Theatre on both Nathan For You and Loiter Squad this week (Loiter Squad, S03E09)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


27. Exorcisms (Nathan For You, S02E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Cold open (The Honourable Woman, S01E01)
  • "Werner Herzog" describes Good Will Hunting: Port of Call – Los Angeles (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)

Stray Observations

  • Music: Max Richter – "The Twins (Prague)" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Buddy Garrity! (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Justin Theroux: NOT Ron Livingston (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • The "spin the bottle" wheel: Screw, Hug, Burn, Hickey, Suck, [indecipherable three-letter word], Choke, Bite, The Tip, Titty, Fuck, Kiss, Slap (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Why is he undressing to be choked? […] Oh. Heh (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Music: James Blake – "Retrograde" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • Free association: Guilty Remnant = Danielson Famile (The Leftovers, S01E01)


(The Leftovers, S01E01)

  • Music: Max Richter – "Vladimir's Blues" (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • The Leftovers' director of photography was Breaking Bad's DP (The Leftovers, S01E01)
  • [Anachronistic] Music: Big Black Delta – "Capsize" (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E05)
  • "Will you read my future?"
    "I don't know that you have one."
    "Everyone has a future."
    "Not everyone. Some people only have a past."
    "Then read my past."
    "Then you would have no more mystery." (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • "Show business – all bitches." (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • Rory Kinnear for "best supporting actor" (Penny Dreadful, S01E08)
  • Penny Dreadful Season Grade: C+
  • Baby octopus Jell-O shots (Frankenfood, S01E04)
  • "I really want bone marrow under that box. I could really get down and dirty with some bone marrow." (MasterChef, S05E06)


"Mark, pleeease!" (24, S09E10)

  • "Okay, you can talk to him, but if you cross the line, I'm pulling you."
    "Just so we're clear, I wasn't asking. That was me being courteous." (24, S09E10)
  • "Full immunity is not on the table – but your hand is." (24, S09E10)
  • Return of the one villain that got away (24, S09E10)
  • Pivoting to a world war with two episodes left? (24, S09E10)
  • RT: "'Pasadena: Where the pain of your family doesn't follow you.' They should really use that as a tourist slogan" (Tyrant, S01E02)


(Nathan For You, S02E01)

  • "A ghost choked you in Switzerland?" (Nathan For You, S02E01)
  • Music: Radiohead – "How to Disappear Completely" (The Honourable Woman, S01E01)
  • Music: The Low Anthem – "Charlie Darwin" (Rectify, S02E03)
  • James Adomian's Gordon Ramsay impersonation (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)
  • "So Alison, you were in the movie Scream 4…"
    "It's actually pronounced 'AHHHH!!! 4.'" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E09)
  • "You want to be Montell Jordans or a loser?" (Loiter Squad, S03E08)
  • PSA tag (Loiter Squad, S03E08)
  • "Little Caesars: It's the only thing better than getting what you want." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E11)
  • Lulz at Fig neutralizing the accountant with the promise of meeting Tiki Barber (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Tiki discussing Foucault (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • How do they all know how to sing "Stay" by Lisa Loeb? (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Sideshow Vee (Orange Is the New Black, S02E12)
  • Six months after Randy described Toy Story 3 on Enlisted, Morello describes Toy Story (Orange Is the New Black, S02E13)
  • RT: "a black guy knowing the words to Deep Blue Something's 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' is complete and utter bullshit" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E13)
  • Orange Is the New Black Season Grade: B-

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

Midway point!

26. Red Wedding 2 (24, S09E09)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "It's not weird, it's brothers." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "Who's your Lori Loughlin?" (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "Why is this punch brown?"
    "It's gin and chocolate milk, dawgs." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • "I'm the Beyoncé of this platoon, man."
    "I'm the Anne Heche." (Enlisted, S01E13)
  • Enlisted Season Grade: C+
  • The best part of this show is the opening credits (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E04)
  • Shame that Eva Green isn't eligible for an Emmy this year (Penny Dreadful, S01E07)


(Frankenfood, S01E01)


(Frankenfood, S01E01)


(Frankenfood, S01E02)


(Frankenfood, S01E02)

  • "I am the President of the United States of America and I just gave you an order."
    "I am not American citizen. This is not America." (24, S09E09)
  • "Get ready. Margot may have set up a perimeter." (24, S09E09)
  • Barry's father couldn't buy out a better aircraft? Where are the showers and lie-flat seats? (Tyrant, S01E01)
  • Tyrants love Aerosmith! (Tyrant, S01E01)
  • "Look, Em, there's a Subway" – not sure if product placement… (Tyrant, S01E01)


(Loiter Squad, S03E07)

  • Who is that Asian dude on the show this season? (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • "I'm not a slave, I'm me!" (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • "You must not know who I am. I'm all that!" (Loiter Squad, S03E07)
  • Why doesn't Red just escape through the grate in the greenhouse? She knows a human can fit inside… (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "Ugh. It's full of Fleet Foxes and shit!" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "If you're not building a future, that's because you don't believe there is a future. You've given up on yourself. You're a loser." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E07)
  • "No one gives a shit about old ladies. We remind everyone that they're gonna die." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E08)
  • Mule Variations! (Orange Is the New Black, S02E09)

#clipoftheweek


Looking forward:

We declined our second-year option on Ray Donovan.


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

25. Brienne of Tarth vs. The Hound (Game of Thrones, S04E10)

It's HBO, so "embedding disabled by request."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "DeMarcus Cousins is an emotional lesbian." (Jimmy Kimmel Live, 06-15-14)
  • Game of Thrones Season Grade: B+
  • "What do those people do, those who have been chosen?"
    "They endure uniqueness."
    "To be alien, to be disenfranchised from those around you, is that not a dreadful curse?"
    "To be different, to be powerful, is that not a divine gift?"
    "To be alone."
    "To be seeking."
    "What?"
    "A lover."
    "Like you?"
    "Who shares your rarity."
    "Then you are no longer unique."
    "Nor are you alone." (Penny Dreadful, S01E06)
  • RT: "The coder gets a botched Black Flag tattoo and it inspires her to write code on a mirror" (Halt and Catch Fire, S01E03)
  • "If she dies, so be it." (24, S09E08)
  • "The only way we can stop this from happening is to find Margot fast, so wake the bitch up." (24, S09E08)
  • Kim Raver's dreadful grieving – "I will never trust you again!" (24, S09E08)
  • RT: "When you think about it, an American president assassinated by a missile in an empty Wembley Stadium would be the most insane story ever" (24, S09E08)
  • RT: "Maron's words to Louis in the bar are word for word what Louis said to Maron on his WTF ep" (Louie, S04E14)
  • Louie Season Grade: C+
  • The used car salesman declined to buy life insurance from Lester in the pilot (Fargo, S01E10)


RT: "It was Billy's idea that Gus shoots him and he appears to be dead and then he sits up with that grimace and smile with the bloody teeth. That was Billy's desire to do it that way" (Fargo, S01E10)

  • Fargo Season Grade: B
  • Scott Aukerman DGAF about shaving (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E07)
  • Orphan Black Season Grade: C+
  • "Prison…is gluten. Don't commit the crime if you can't fuckin' have flour." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E03)


Bad CGI (Orange Is the New Black, S02E03)

  • "Inspector Gadget was not a good detective. He just had a lot of stuff. Plus, he had Penny and the Brain helping him." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E04)
  • "Skip the play. Take her to dinner."
    "Italian."
    "What, romantic Indian? Come on…" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "Fuck Clive Owen. Don't ever let go." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "Man, they fuckin' with us this way 'cause they know our people's predisposition for hypertension!" (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • Gloria's unfazed sons (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)
  • "We are…Side Boob." (Orange Is the New Black, S02E05)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

24. Nosebleed (Veep, S03E09)


Honourable Mention

  • Donkey Kong (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • Tracking Shot (Game of Thrones, S04E09)
  • Drone Pursuit (24, S09E07)

Stray Observations

  • In the Flesh Season Grade: C+
  • Parker Young's Bill Cosby impression (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • Knock-off "Black Skinhead" instrumental (Enlisted, S01E11)
  • "What will happen the next time the mob comes?" (Cosmos, S01E13)
  • Cosmos Season Grade: C+


Naked Eva Green humping air (Penny Dreadful, S01E05)

  • "Post-script: Your father loves you very much and would do anything to save you. But I love you in a different way. I love you enough to kill you." (Penny Dreadful, S01E05)
  • "Siri, why does God allow suffering?" (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Violence solves everything." (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Someone has just flown two planes into my career." (Veep, S03E09)
  • "Thornhill, Chung, and Maddox are continuing on for now."
    "Oh, those fuckers. God, can't we just take 'em out? Is Jack Ruby still alive?" (Veep, S03E10)
  • "The fuck stops here, Dan." (Veep, S03E10)
  • "Jesus. If I come in third, this could be the shortest administration in history."
    "Yeah, like a Snapchat presidency." (Veep, S03E10)
  • "I came in third, Amy, okay? Even the Nazis came in second." (Veep, S03E10)
  • Veep Season Grade: A-


Extras (24, S09E07)

  • Jack drives a left hand drive car in London (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "Jack Bauer punched a random man out and stole his car, and then stole a brick from a homeless person. Out-of-context 24 is great" (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "They should have a web series about people who have been Bauered trying to make claims to their insurance companies" (24, S09E07)
  • RT: "Have [an Allstate commercial] with Logan's limo driver after Jack Robocops them. And then the cut away to President Palmer just shaking his head. 'When Jack Bauer shouts 'You have to trust me!' you'd better have Allstate'" (24, S09E07)
  • "Weezy's basically a Jew in the bedroom."
    "Oh, you mean she wears a wig and makes you do it through a hole in the sheet?" (Fargo, S01E09)
  • "See you later, Lester. See you soon." (Fargo, S01E09)
  • "No good ever came from a piece of cherry pie." (Fargo, S01E09)


(Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E06)

  • Vice Season Grade: C+
  • "As long as no one finds a body, we're clear, so we dump him in the lake – with weights."
    "Do we have a boat?! Have you ever seen Dexter? I mean, random scuba divers are finding everything!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "She thinks there's five of you."
    "There's eleven, esé!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "Smile! Have a shitty day!" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • "Would you like horse baby? Cow baby…" (Orphan Black, S02E09)
  • Insemination syringe butt rape! (Orphan Black, S02E09)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

23. The Perfect Equation (Silicon Valley, S01E08)

"Embedding disabled by request."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • No Keaton Henson song! (In the Flesh, S02E05)
  • "She wasn't made for outdoor use. Those colors do run!" (Enlisted, S01E10)
  • "I'm kinda over the whole downstairs shaving thing. I mean, if I'm honest, it's a good look. It's sleek, it actually adds an optic inch…" (Enlisted, S01E10)
  • "Come, Reek, I'll be needing a bath." (Game of Thrones, S04E08)
  • "Poison's a woman's weapon. Men kill with steel." (Game of Thrones, S04E08)


(Game of Thrones, S04E08)

  • A Dorian Gray orgy! (Penny Dreadful, S01E04)
  • Kara Swisher (Silicon Valley, S01E08)
  • Silicon Valley Season Grade: C+
  • "People don't elect elves, okay? They put them to work in grottos or they get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them."
    "Okay, that's dwarves." (Veep, S03E08)
  • "No, don't look at the twitch. Focus on the dead dad lady!" (Veep, S03E08)
  • "Are they loopholes or are they legitimate holes?" (Veep, S03E08)
  • "We all want to live above the hole." (Veep, S03E08)
  • Leslie is Melissa Joan Hart's stepfather (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Lamb meatloaf with couscous, blue cheese sauce, and chili flakes (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Caribbean meatloaf with lemongrass, soy sauce, and mango (MasterChef, S05E02)
  • Aksel Hennie slumming it as a guest star (24, S04E09)
  • "Everybody in this part of western Brooklyn is already dead. Everybody in this part of Brooklyn will be dead by four o'clock tomorrow." (Louie, S04E09)
  • "Don't get caught by AIDS." (Louie, S04E10)
  • "This would be rape if you weren't so stupid. God, you can't even rape well!" (Louie, S04E10)
  • "Don't you 'Mrs. Hess' me. I was picking your pubes out of my teeth 12 hours ago." (Fargo, S01E08)
  • "I let you cum inside of me!" (Fargo, S01E08)
  • "You're unemployed now, by the way." (Fargo, S01E08)
  • IceJJFish! (Loiter Squad, S03E04)
  • Free association: Tony = Lance on Portlandia (Orphan Black, S02E08)
  • "Helium is way funnier than polonium." (Orphan Black, S02E08)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

22. Peggy's First Pitch (Mad Men, S07E07)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Jorts (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "That is a very sensitive piece of horse flesh! He shouldn't be rattled!" (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "What do I do now?" (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "Every time an old man starts talking about Napoleon, you know they're going to die." (Mad Men, S07E07)
  • "Pete's pregnant. He has to do what we say." (Mad Men, S07E07)


(Mad Men, S07E07)

  • Mad Men Season Grade: B-
  • "He smells like kale!" (Louie, S04E07)


(Louie, S04E08)

  • "This one calls an ambulance. That one calls the hearse." (Fargo, S01E07)
  • "What?! It's fresh!" (Fargo, S01E07)
  • Maron parody tag (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E04)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

21. The Red Supper (Hannibal, S02E13)

WHAT.

A Television Episode of the Year nominee.


Honourable Mention

  • TechCrunch Disrupt Competition Presentations (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • Don's Death (Fargo, S01E06)
  • Whiteout Pursuit (Fargo, S01E06)
  • Lightskin Awareness Foundation (Loiter Squad, S03E02)

Stray Observations

  • "Dad's tied up somewhere!"
    "[gasps] He's in a meeting, and he's going to be there for a while!" (Bob's Burgers, S04E22)
  • Bob's Burgers Season Grade: B-
  • The Amazing Race Season Grade: D
  • "Giant elliptical galaxies are something like…Florida, where the oldest stars in the universe may be found." (Cosmos, S01E11)
  • "I want you shopping all day, and screwing all night." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "You've seen your daughter for the year. Don't you have a plane to catch?" (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • RT: "The flood gates have opened! First FX let's the word fuck loose uncensored on Louie and now AMC let's one fly on Mad Men" (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "I want you to feel good about what you're doing, but you'll never know. That's just the job."
    "What's the job?"
    "Living in the not knowing." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "You'd love Detroit. We could have a mansion." (Mad Men, S07E06)
  • "Man does not live only in the empirical world. He must seek the ephemeral, or why live?" (Penny Dreadful, S01E02)
  • "I've seen quite a few new companies. Spinder… It's like Tinder but for spinsters…" (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • "Do you have those spotlights that come up from the ground, like in PRIDE Fighting?" (Silicon Valley, S01E07)
  • "Death, glory, folly, tragedy – it's got all the four main mood groups." (Veep, S03E07)
  • "You know what 'intrinsic' means?"
    "Yeah."
    "Yeah, I try to learn a word a day. I love words very ardently." (Veep, S03E07)
  • "Fat people don't even vote! They can't even be bothered to get out of the house, you know? There's no food in the voting booth…" (Veep, S03E07)
  • "I need to be driven to the airport at Diana speed." (Veep, S03E07)
  • Michelle Fairley's daughter looks like Sophie Turner – bizarro Catelyn and Sansa Stark (24, S09E04)
  • "I'm told you just shot two people out in front of the embassy."
    "I barely grazed them, sir."
    "How do you know that?"
    "Because I pulled the trigger." (24, S09E04)
  • "Christopher Columbus is a murderer. They want me to draw a picture of him smiling." (Louie, S04E05)
  • Whoa. Louis' love interest is Eva in Stranger Than Paradise, and this is her first acting role in 18 years (Louie, S04E05)
  • RT: "The J and L keys on Louie's phone weren't working at the beginning of the episode. He literally couldn't communicate about Jane and Lily" (Louie, S04E06)
  • "I love being with you. It's like my fourth favourite thing."
    "What are the first three?"
    "Uhh… Okay, number three… Riding elephants. Love it. Number two… Collecting hydrogen. My hydrogen collection is awesome. And number one would have to be…remembering being with you." (Louie, S04E06)
  • "Do you know the only thing happier than a three-legged dog? A four-legged dog." (Louie, S04E06)
  • From Dusk Till Dawn Season Grade: D+
  • Modern Family Season Grade: C
  • The Reagan paintings this season… (The Americans, S02E13)
  • Even in Stan's dream, Martha is stealing files off the mail robot (The Americans, S02E13)
  • "Paige is your daughter, but she's not just yours. She belongs to the cause, and to the world." (The Americans, S02E13)
  • The Americans Season Grade: B
  • "So, tell me about this American version of our beloved British Office."
    "So, instead of Dawn, for example, my character's name is Pam."
    "Bloody hell!"
    "Oh, and none of our cast members are outspoken about their atheism." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E03)
  • "Sweet Chin Music," "Figure Four Leg Lock," "Sharpshooter" – season three episodes of Loiter Squad are titled after wrestling finishing moves
  • "We are orchestrations of carbon, you and me." (Hannibal, S02E13)
  • "I died. I'm between deaths."
    "The punctuation at the end of a sentence gives meaning to every word, every space that proceeded it."
    "You moved my punctuation mark, Dr. Lecter. You moved my meaning." (Hannibal, S02E13)
  • Hannibal Season Grade: A

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

20. Mason Verger feeds his face to Will's dogs, eats his own nose (Hannibal, S02E12)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Music: Keaton Henson – "Flesh and Bone" (In the Flesh, S02E02)
  • Mr. Goiter, Lady Big Nose, Mr. Down There Hair, Henry Human Feet, Dr. Big Butt (Bob's Burgers, S04E21)
  • Stirring score for the final 90 seconds (Cosmos, S01E10)
  • "I'm sorry you no longer have a father." (Game of Thrones, S04E06)
  • Mort Drucker reference! (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • RT: "By the end of the series, I *will* be Clarinet Negro #2 on Mad Men" (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • "I'm not stupid! I speak Italian!" (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by computers, slicing hysterical nipple (Mad Men, S07E05)
  • Jared's self-driving car story is TOO absurd (Silicon Valley, S01E06)
  • "What is 'Marimba, America'?"
    "Marimba, that alarm that's on your phone when you wake up. It's like, 'Wake up, America!'" (Veep, S03E06)
  • "In my country, politics is a lot more honest."
    "In your country, people fuck snow – and I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect." (Veep, S03E06)
  • Prey Season Grade: C+
  • Top Chef Canada Season Grade: C
  • 24: A show about damaged people combatting terrorism (24, S09E03)
  • "Parliament" (24, S09E03)
  • How do the guards at the embassy not recognize Jack Bauer? (24, S09E03)
  • "Don't say no. No is stupid. No is for queers.'" (Louie, S04E03)
  • "And here's to you, Mrs. Pee Pee Face…" (Louie, S04E04)
  • "Only a fool thinks he can solve the world's problems."
    "Yeah, but you got to try, don't you?" (Fargo, S01E05)
  • "It was the Romans, wasn't it?"
    "What are you saying?"
    "St. Lawrence, your window. The Romans burned him alive."
    "They did."
    "You know why?"
    "'Cause he was Christian."
    "Maybe. But I think it was because the Romans were raised by wolves. Greatest empire in human history, founded by wolves. You know what wolves do. They hunt. They kill. It's why I never bought into The Jungle Book. Boy is raised by wolves, he becomes friends with a bear and a panther. I don't think so. I knew a guy once, had a 110-pound Rottweiler, and one night this girl thought it would be funny to get down on all fours and let the dog hump her. Dog still had its balls. Well, the dog gets up there, but he's not in on the joke. This is just a bitch in heat as far as he's concerned, and he's not leaving until he gets what he came for. Well, the girl, too late, realizes the kind of mistake she's made, she wants to get up. But the dog had other ideas. Had to shoot it behind the ear to get it off her."
    "I don't…"
    "Well, I'm saying that the Romans, raised by wolves, they see a guy turning water into wine, what do they do? They eat him, 'cause there are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast and dinner." (Fargo, S01E05)
  • A post-coital condom pass/tissue wipe on television! (The Americans, S02E12)
  • Shark Tank Season Grade: B
  • "Whenever feasible, one should always try to eat the rude."
    "Free range rude." (Hannibal, S02E12)
  • "Hannibal can get lost in self-congratulation at his own exquisite taste and cunning. Whimsy, that will be how he will get caught." (Hannibal, S02E12)
  • "Whomever's pursuing whom at this very moment, I intend to eat them." (Hannibal, S02E12)


RT: "Michael Pitt runs his lines" (Hannibal, S02E12)

  • Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


19. Texans respond to a severe drought (Vice, S02E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "We are the undead, we are the redeemed." (In the Flesh, S02E01)
  • What happens when this show runs out of Keaton Henson songs to use? (In the Flesh, S02E01)
  • "Congratulations, you're alive." (Cosmos, S01E09)
  • "You know what kind of stories poor men enjoy the most? Ones about rich girls they'll never meet." (Game of Thrones, S04E05)
  • "Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls." (Game of Thrones, S04E05)
  • Kubrick film references (Mad Men, S07E04)


Kumail Nanjiani + T.J. Miller (Silicon Valley, S01E05)

  • "I think you have just the right amount of…grit in your oyster." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "You attacked me with a burrito. The juice could've gotten in my eyes, Dan. The spicy burrito juice." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "Desperate Dan, Flailing Amy, Crippled Gary, Jizzy Mike." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "I'm a Prosecco man." (Veep, S03E05)
  • "Let's throw cum! Let's throw cum!" (Veep, S03E05)
  • Jack Bauer is now a cyborg (24, S09E01)


RT: "Jack Bauer's confirmed kill list starts with S1 names. Like he never killed before?" (24, S09E01)

  • "'Dear AIDS'?"
    "We have to write a letter to AIDS as an assignment. I don't know what to say to AIDS."
    "Umm… 'Dear AIDS, please cut it out? Uh… How's the weather in AIDS land?'" (Louie, S04E01)
  • "Clean jokes: 1. Chickens are dumb." (Louie, S04E02)
  • In one night, Yvonne Strahovski is headbutted in the face by Jack Bauer and elbowed in the face by Louis C.K. (24, S09E02 / Louie, S04E02)
  • Bates Motel Season Grade: C
  • New Girl Season Grade: C-
  • "I can do Temple of Doom, man, but Crystal Skull, I'm out." (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E08)
  • "Put it down."
    "But it's a new phone…" (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "Nobody likes being watched while they eat."
    "Some people do."
    "What people?"
    "Mormons." (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "How come the human eye can see more shades of green than any other colour?"
    "Because of predators. Used to be we were monkeys, right? And in the woods, in the jungle, everything's green, so in order to not get eaten by panthers and bears and the like, we had to be able to see them in grass and trees and such." (Fargo, S01E04)
  • "Star Wars: Episode VII – Boss Nass Is Back." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E01)
  • The Trip to Italy Season Grade: C-
  • Eating Ortolan Bunting! (Hannibal, S02E11)
  • YTMND'd: "Have a chocolate!" (Hannibal, S02E11)
  • Dead Ringers homage (Hannibal, S02E11)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

18. Lomo Saltado (Hannibal, S02E10)

"You slice the ginger."


Stray Observations

  • "I will fight injustice with justice." (Game of Thrones, S04E04)
  • A Kingslayer Bros. spin-off (Game of Thrones, S04E04)
  • "Eat your candy." (Mad Men, S07E03)
  • "I lose women and what am I left with? I'm left with gay Latinos and…Jews at college, I guess." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I am balls deep in this omelette." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "My brain feels like it's being fuckin' circumcised." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I am gonna get some air and then throw up in it." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I got a hangover worse than the film they made after The Hangover." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "No, ma'am, that's Ron Jeremy."
    "I know. He's a great actor. He was Scar in The Lion King." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "The Smarch learns quickly. It's like it has an Asian mother." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "We see ourselves as very much post-tax." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "Fuck you stepdad 1 and stepdad 3!" (Veep, S03E04)
  • "I'm taking these people back to dial-up." (Veep, S03E04)
  • "Next week, we have Rupert Grint from the Harry Potter movies." [more applause than Selina] (Veep, S03E04)
  • "We've withdrawn our offer."
    "Well, 'like.' Sorry, wrong company." (Veep, S03E04)
  • Yay Eric (MasterChef Canada, S01E15)
  • MasterChef Canada Season Grade: C
  • "You must include Hellmann's mayonnaise in one of your healthy dishes." (Top Chef Canada, S04E08)
  • "Everybody's mother lives inside them." (Bates Motel, S02E09)
  • Here we go. The episode with the twist (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E07)


(From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E07)


(Fargo, S01E03)

  • Portlandia Season Grade: C+
  • Review Season Grade: C+
  • "Where do you stand on Michael Bublé?"
    "His windpipe?" (The Trip to Italy, S02E05)


(Hannibal, S02E10)

  • "In love, you take leave of your senses, but in hatred, you must be present to calculate your actions." (Hannibal, S02E10)
  • Jack Bauer is a Rihanna fan (Saturday Night Live, S39E19)

#clipoftheweek


I saw Richard Linklater's Boyhood on Friday.

During a Q&A before the screening, he said that television is where it's at right now, but that he doesn't have any ideas for television.

Well, filmed intermittently over 12 years, from 2001 to 2013, Boyhood is a variation on a television series.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

17. Conflict Resolution (Fargo, S01E02)


Honourable Mention

  • Second Manimal Attack (Hannibal, S02E09)

Stray Observations

  • Gay electric light and a pair of rubbers (Cosmos, S01E07)
  • "How can a man not keep ale in his home?" (Game of Thrones, S04E03)
  • "You know, Hitler actually played the bassoon, so technically, Hitler was the Hitler of music." (Silicon Valley, S01E03)
  • Dead Clippy (Silicon Valley, S01E03)
  • "I want to tell real stories about real people, okay? I'm like John Steinbeck in that regard, you know? Or Denzel Washington." (Veep, S03E03)


(Archer, S05E13)

  • Archer Season Grade: C
  • "That's the great thing about taxidermy – it goes with everything." (Bates Motel, S02E08)


(Face Off, S06E15)

  • Yay Rashaad (Face Off, S06E15)
  • Face Off Season Grade: C
  • Story by Oliver North (The Americans, S02E09)
  • "Obviously, we're no Akron. I mean, we're more like Dayton. But, with your help, we can become Toledo." (Parks and Recreation, S06E21)
  • "Wait, I'm on Endor!" (Parks and Recreation, S06E21)
  • Ginuwine: "Lil Sebastian, this one is for you, because you're, my, pony!" (Parks and Recreation, S06E22)
  • Letters to Cleo reunion (Parks and Recreation, S06E22)
  • Yo La Tengo as Bobby Knight Rider (Parks and Recreation, S06E22)
  • "I just had the best Italian meal I've ever had in my life, and I've been to Dallas." (Parks and Recreation, S06E22)
  • Parks and Recreation Season Grade: B-


(Hannibal, S02E09)

  • "Guns lack intimacy."
    "You set an event in motion with a gun; you don't complete it." (Hannibal, S02E09)
  • "Typhoid and swans – it all comes from the same place." (Hannibal, S02E09)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

16. Goodnight Sweet King (Game of Thrones, S04E02)

"Embedding disabled by request."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


(Bob's Burgers, S04E17)

  • "Pony Danza." (Bob's Burgers, S04E17)
  • "What's the capital of Horse Valley?"
    "Salt Lick City." (Bob's Burgers, S04E17)
  • Sigur Rós! (Game of Thrones, S04E02)
  • Joffrey gonging Sigur Rós (Game of Thrones, S04E02)
  • "God, I hate Palo Alto." (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "In the hands of the enlightened, hate can be a tool for great change." (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "Mushroom stamp." (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "I don't think that the CEO of Microsoft has paid best friend."
    "Sergey Brin does. Larry doesn't do shit." (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "He's as pointless as Mass Effect 3's multiple endings."
    "Mass Effect 3? Harsh." (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "He rode his bike to San Jose? (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "So you're like the VP of spite?" (Silicon Valley, S01E02)
  • "Sue, apologies, we will continue our pleasant chat at a later date. Abortion calls." (Veep, S03E02)
  • "This is Jonah Ryan, and you are witnessing the birth of Ryantology. I am gonna be updating more than I'm actually dating, which is a shitload." (Veep, S03E02)
  • "Jesus, what a talking gas giant. It's like listening to Jupiter." (Veep, S03E02)
  • "Fuck HuffPo! They should be called 'PuffHo,' because Arianna Huffington is a straight up ho and all they do is puff pieces." (Veep, S03E02)
  • "I will break your legs so severely, you will end up normal height." (Veep, S03E02)


(Mad Men, S07E01)

  • Canter's! (Mad Men, S07E01)
  • RT: I love that Mad Men is now a show about how much happier people are when they move to LA (Mad Men, S07E01)
  • "Cyril's just the Vader to your Palpatine."
    "Is that a reference I should get?"
    "Seriously?"
    "Well, I'm sorry, Lana. I didn't go to rabbinical school."
    "It's from… Never mind. But, spoiler alert: Vader ends up killing Palpatine."
    "But only for three days, right? And then he moves the rock and comes out of his cave stronger than ever."
    "Then he shuts off the tractor beam releasing the Jews from captivity."
    "Yes, now that sounds familiar. Gospel of Luke?" (Archer, S05E12)


(Rick and Morty, S01E11)

  • Guest starring Degrassi's Aislinn Paul and Cassie Steele! (Rick and Morty, S01E11)
  • Rick and Morty Season Grade: A-
  • "Man, I can't wait until I'm 18 so I can pick the way my place smells." (Bates Motel, S02E07)
  • Triple H saying "believe in Evolution" in Alabama (WWE Raw, 04-14-14)
  • "Honey roast." (New Girl, S03E21)
  • "Should we all try to live inside a peach or is that weird?" (New Girl, S03E21)
  • "Son, she compared you to a clam." (Fargo, S01E01)


(Fargo, S01E01)

  • "Norway fuckin' sucks! Kentucky rules!" (Workaholics, S04E13)
  • "Fat as John Candy and not half as cool." (Workaholics, S04E13)
  • Workaholics Season Grade: C+
  • Community Season Grade: C+
  • "That's Dan Savage." (Portlandia, S04E08)
  • "There all is aching." (Review, S01E07)
  • "I like carbonara, but, you know…"
    "Would you fight for one?"
    "No. I mean, Italian food's nice, but it's not like… I'd fight for a curry."
    "I'd fight for a seafood linguine." (The Trip to Italy, S02E03)
  • "Peter, is your social worker in that horse?" (Hannibal, S02E08)
  • Felix in assless chaps (Orphan Black, S02E01)
  • Alison's bedazzled rape whistle (Orphan Black, S02E01)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


15. Paul Heyman addresses the end of The Undertaker's streak (WWE Raw, 04-07-14)

"The best promo in the history of Raw."

"The greatest promo of all time."


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "It was just two small coincidences."
    "That's what I call my testicles." (Bob's Burgers, S04E16)
  • Linda's psychic noise (Bob's Burgers, S04E16)
  • "Are they confused why Jerry Lewis is calling?" (Bob's Burgers, S04E16)
  • "Everybody sounds like Sandy Duncan to you, mom. Sandy Duncan this, Sandy Duncan that…" (Bob's Burgers, S04E16)
  • "No straight woman wears Adidas." (Shameless, S04E12)
  • "Why didn't you tell me you had a grandfather?"
    "He doesn't have wifi." (Shameless, S04E12)
  • Jimmy/Steve/Jack! (Shameless, S04E12)
  • Shameless Season Grade: A-


(Game of Thrones, S04E01)

  • "Every party in Silicon Valley ends up like a Hasidic wedding." (Silicon Valley, S01E01)
  • "This is Silicon Valley, not….Paris, Texas." (Silicon Valley, S01E01)
  • "It's weird. They always travel in groups of five. These programmers, there's always a tall skinny white guy, a short skinny Asian guy, fat guy with a ponytail, some guy with crazy facial hair, and then an East Indian guy. It's like they trade guys until they all have the right group." (Silicon Valley, S01E01)
  • "Thank you, Dan. FUCK YOU, DAN!" (Veep, S03E01)
  • "That bag of wrist slits got the nomination?" (Veep, S03E01)
  • "All my orgasms have come at once." (Veep, S03E01)
  • "Bray's gonna kill you" chant (WWE Raw, 04-07-14)
  • The crowd chanting for "3MB" at Kane, Batista, and Orton (WWE Raw, 04-07-14)
  • Amir Johnson is the guest judge? (Top Chef Canada, S04E05)
  • "Calm down, Colonel Panic." (Archer, S05E11)
  • "Mike Ducockless!" (Archer, S05E11)
  • "Yeah, I'd like to order one large person with extra people, please."
    "White people. Nononono! Black people. And Hispanic on half." (Rick and Morty, S01E10)
  • "Did you ever consider that, Tokyo Drift?" (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E05)
  • "This may as well be a slow night in the champagne room for how comfortably erect I'm gonna be watching your bitch ass squirm about." (Justified, S05E13)
  • Not Jimmy! (Justified, S05E13)
  • "So what are you gonna do now, Boyd?"
    "Well, John F. Kennedy said, 'Effort and courage don't mean anything without purpose and direction.' I don't have either, so I'll probably be laying low for a little while." (Justified, S05E13)
  • Justified Season Grade: C+
  • "Squeeze your anus." (The Americans, S02E07)
  • "Is it him?"
    "Am I who?"
    "What is a bundle of sticks? What do you consider a bundle of sticks?" (Workaholics, S04E12)
  • "PopoZãos everywhere." (Workaholics, S04E12)
  • "Press stop on Dave Matthews." (Community, S05E12)
  • "I don't drink alcohol from that portion of the colour spectrum." (Parks and Recreation, S06E19)
  • One week after appearing on Portlandia, Jeff Tweedy appears on Parks and Recreation (Parks and Recreation, S06E19)
  • "LaMarcus Woman." (Portlandia, S04E07)
  • YTMND'd: "I'M GONNA KILL YOU WITH MY DICK!!!" (Review, S01E06)
  • "He's jealous of MY balls." (Kitchen Nightmares, S06E01)
  • "Bing bong rollie jays." (Saturday Night Live, S39E18)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


14. The Best Part Is Going Home (Portlandia, S04E06)

GVOY.


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "How do we get out?"
    "I think I know how, but it's a little dangerous."
    "Like 'sandwiches with toothpicks in them' dangerous?"
    "Even more dangerous than that."
    "Like eating a bomb?"
    "Blh–in between." (Bob's Burgers, S04E15)
  • Rape attempt on Carl! (The Walking Dead, S04E16)
  • The Walking Dead Season Grade: C
  • "Maybe she's your real mom." (Shameless, S04E11)
  • "At millions of g's, even light bows to gravity." (Cosmos, S01E04)
  • "We've got the whole Breakfast Club in here. I'm Emilio Estevez. Cyril's obviously Anthony Michael Nerd. Mother, you're Paul Gleason. Krieger's the loose cannon Judd Nelson. And Lana, you're…umm…"
    "Wait, seriously? Molly Ringwald."
    "Eh…"
    "So, what, you think I'm…Ally Sheedy?!"
    "Are you all just saying random words?" (Archer, S05E10)
  • "If I die out there, I want a coffin that looks like an Air Jordan shoebox, and I want the priest to be Bokeem Woodbine." (Chozen, S01E10)
  • "Assassin's Creed is bullshit!" (Chozen, S01E10)
  • Chozen Season Grade: C+
  • "I'm looking for Bryan Fuller." – inside television! (Bates Motel, S02E05)
  • Having sex to Drake! (Bates Motel, S02E05)
  • "That is a silver tongue."
    "I know I got a boner." (Justified, S05E12)
  • "The anus is on you." (Justified, S05E12)
  • "Worldstar!" (Justified, S05E12)
  • "That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived." (Modern Family, S05E19)
  • "Just 'cause you light-skinned, that don't make you a doctor." (Workaholics, S04E11)
  • Keri Russell's naked backside! (The Americans, S02E06)
  • Reagan! (The Americans, S02E06)
  • "I did DJ a little back in the day. I had a show called Zoot Suit Wyatt." (Parks and Recreation, S06E18)
  • Donna dated Coach K! (Parks and Recreation, S06E18)
  • "I only listen to CDs. It's the way music like this was meant to be heard." (Parks and Recreation, S06E18)
  • Greg Pikitis! (Parks and Recreation, S06E18)
  • Jeff Tweedy! (Portlandia, S04E06)


(Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E06)

  • Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule Season Grade: C+
  • "Jude Law's 40-plus."
    "He doesn't look it, does he? He hasn't aged like you and I."
    "Well, he's balding."
    "Yeah, but he's got that face."
    "Yeah, he's got that really young bald look." (The Trip to Italy, S02E01)
  • "I can Hardy understand what he's saying." (The Trip to Italy, S02E01)
  • "Game's very good for you. It's the equivalent of eating Mo Farah." (The Trip to Italy, S02E01)
  • "There's a common emotion we all recognize and…not yet named – the happy anticipation of being able to feel contempt." (Hannibal, S02E06)
  • "They're varicose vines." (Hannibal, S02E06)
  • "He is attracted to medical and psychological fields because they offer power over man. Cannibalism…cannibalism is an act of dominance." (Hannibal, S02E06)
  • "Last time someone rang my doorbell this early, it was a census taker." – Silence of the Lambs reference! (Hannibal, S02E06)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


13. Bike messenger Spyke gets a car (Portlandia, S04E05)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Beefer Sutherland" (Bob's Burgers, S04E14)
  • "A nice thick layer of chocolate squares make up the base, couple of handfuls of crushed pretzels, top it all off with marshmallows, and voilà! Teddy Brûlée." (Bob's Burgers, S04E14)
  • "Oh that jet is right on my back. Ohh, that's a lumbar paradise." (Bob's Burgers, S04E14)
  • "This is an erection-free bus." (Total Divas, S02E02)
  • RT: "why doesn't anybody on the walking dead ride a goddamn bike?" (The Walking Dead, S04E15)
  • Glenn and Maggie – Desmond and Penny they ain't (The Walking Dead, S04E15)
  • Carl Grimes: Post-Apocalyptic Litterer (The Walking Dead, S04E15)
  • Robert Hooke is The Penguin? Gru? (Cosmos, S01E03)
  • The History of Fish (Cosmos, S01E03)
  • "Sweetie, let mommy do her drug dealing." (Shameless, S04E10)
  • "Are you robbing me with my own fuckin' gun?" (Shameless, S04E10)
  • "Hannah, you got into Iowa. You fucking go." (Girls, S03E12)
  • Girls Season Grade: C+
  • Christian Slater (Archer, S05E09)
  • "You are a timid man, Cyril."
    "What? No, I'm not."
    "Dude, your balls are made of pussy." (Archer, S05E09)
  • "If we did sleep together, you'd remember." (Bates Motel, S02E04)
  • "Some voids can't be filled with Jamba Juice." (Rick and Morty, S01E09)
  • "Your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded."
    "Ooh. Oh boy, Rick. I don't think you're allowed to say that word, you know."
    "Uhh, Morty, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact that if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded."
    "Okay, yeah, but I don't think it's about logic, Rick. I think the word has just become a symbolic issue for powerful groups that feel like they're doing the right thing."
    "Well, that's retarded." (Rick and Morty, S01E09)


(WWE Raw, 03-24-14)


(From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E03)

  • "I sent him a bunch of drunk texts last night."
    "Oh dear Lord… 'I miss the way that your hands smell'? Did you write an entire Jewel song in here?" (New Girl, S03E20)
  • "I always thought I'd move back to Portland."
    "Oh. Portland, Earth?"
    "It's like friendly San Francisco." (New Girl, S03E20)
  • "The name of my first-born child has to be Reginald VelJohnson." (New Girl, S03E20)
  • Nick likes Circa Survive (New Girl, S03E20)
  • "You can't handle the me!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E22)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: B
  • "Could I just quickly point out our luxury bath service, sir? We have five outrageously decadent baths that I can prepare for you at a moment's notice. I should just point out, though, that our Pharoah's Fantasy does take a dash longer, normally, because our Nubian lives off-site." (Modern Family, S05E18)
  • "I'm a shaving butler up on Plus." (Modern Family, S05E18)
  • "That's probably the Cuban I ordered for you." (Modern Family, S05E18)
  • "If I'm not Bowser, I'm definitely freakin' Wario. I'm no bitch ass Toad."
    "I'm not even in the same game as you bitches. I'm in Diddy Kong Racing, baby."
    "Wait a second. If we're changing games, I'm Pierce Brosnan in 007." (Workaholics, S04E10)
  • RT: "I was kind of surprised they went there with the sound. I can't really recall another scene in a TV drama where a character shits, but it's played naturally, without comedy. So kudos to the foley person for their shit work." (The Americans, S02E05)
  • RT: "Philip doesn't believe in double wiping." (The Americans, S02E05)


Arnold Schwarzenegger does the stanky legg (106 and Park, 03-27-14)

  • "My earlier attempt to live as Batman was halfhearted jest, the stuff of Schumacher." (Review, S01E04)
  • "Being Batman: four stars." (Review, S01E04)
  • "This car is the default setting."
    "It's like it was designed while someone was sleeping or something."
    "And then one guy was like, 'We should put some wipers on the headlights.' That guy got fired." (Portlandia, S04E05)
  • "Clapton probably just signs guitars specifically for memorabilia cafés." (Portlandia, S04E05)
  • "Take that poison, boy!" (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E05)
  • "Oldest trick in the diaper book." (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E05)
  • "Mobin couldn't hack it." (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E05)
  • "We're insulting you in semaphore." (Enlisted, S01E09)


Keith David in a milk bath (Enlisted, S01E09)

  • "We evolved the ability to communicate disappointment to teach those around us good manners." (Hannibal, S02E05)
  • Hitler 'stache dissolve (Hannibal, S02E05)
  • "You're a nurse at the hospital. You're setting a new standard of care." (Hannibal, S02E05)

#clipoftheweek


Looking forward…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

12. Infinite television from infinite universes (Rick and Morty, S01E08)


Honourable Mention

  • Evolution of the eye (Cosmos, S01E02)
  • Raylan vs. Danny Crowe (Justified, S05E10)
  • Morninghead pitch (Shark Tank, S05E21)
  • Lobotomy (Hannibal, S02E04)

Stray Observations

  • "Does it really mean that much to you?"
    "Yes! Look at my face!"
    "Ahhh! One luftballoon!" (Bob's Burgers, S04E13)
  • "It's like the end of The Shining in here." (Bob's Burgers, S04E13)
  • "The hand wants what the hand wants." (Bob's Burgers, S04E13)
  • "Don't stop. I can still cum if you're crying." (Shameless, S04E09)
  • "Tell your boss you're going home sick tonight."
    "Sick?"
    "Yeah, whatever. Tell him you got AIDS." (Shameless, S04E09)
  • "BJ break isn't for another 45 minutes." (Shameless, S04E09)
  • How can Fiona afford an iPhone? (Shameless, S04E09)
  • "I got a girlfriend."
    "Maybe I should do yours like you did mine."
    "Okay, but only in the ass, alright? She saving herself." (Shameless, S04E09)
  • Chocolate pudding, spray cheese, peach Schnapps, pig feet, pecans, __________ (The Walking Dead, S04E14)
  • CM Punk Phil Brooks crying (Talking Dead, 03-16-14)
  • "I hate watching television because all the old women are shells, and it just hurts to be a shell." (Girls, S03E11)
  • The best the creator of NewsRadio can do is write for this show? (Girls, S03E11)
  • Nanaimo bar perogies (MasterChef Canada, S01E09)


What the fuck kind of Chinese food is that? (Top Chef Canada, S04E02)


(WWE Raw, 03-17-14)

  • "Come on, Cyril. Pick one. Either have a stroke or spit it out." (Archer, S05E08)
  • "There's always a reason to make out." (Bates Motel, S02E03)
  • "Moynihan and piece of toast hate each other." (Rick and Morty, S01E08)
  • "Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV." (Rick and Morty, S01E08)
  • Wilmer Valderrama: Mexican Vampire (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E02)
  • "Souls are like popsicles. Some are sweet, some are bitter, some are strong, some are weak. What flavour are you, Kyle?"
    […]
    "Cherry lime." (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E02)
  • Wilmer Valderrama: Shapeshifting Mexican Vampire (From Dusk Till Dawn, S01E02)
  • "The toilet paper is triple-ply."
    "Turns anyone's bottom into a VIP." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E21)
  • "Terry believes in having a clear topic sentence." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E21)
  • "AID tickles." (Workaholics, S04E09)
  • "Let's eat later tomorrow."
    "What?"
    "We ate dinner early tonight. You don't want to say grace as much when you're hungry."
    "Would you stop being so reasonable?" (The Americans, S02E04)
  • "You know where he was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with 'not there.'"
    "Times Square?" (Community, S05E10)


(Community, S05E10)

  • "I am ranking topics of conversation for our next phone call. What do you think should be higher priority: Infinity scarves, or whether or not it's worth it for me to get Showtime?" (Parks and Recreation, S06E17)
  • "There is no quiet anymore. There is only Doc McStuffins." (Parks and Recreation, S06E17)
  • "A bass is a gateway instrument." (Portlandia, S04E04)
  • "Creamed horse meat. It's horse meat in horse yogurt." (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S03E04)
  • Human apiary (Hannibal, S02E04)
  • Eyeless and alive (Hannibal, S02E04)
  • Beverly is dead. She was supposed to die in the first season (Hannibal, S02E04)

#clipoftheweek