Breathe out so I can breathe you in

In Super Mario Bros. 2, you dig paths through sand.

The sand, however, just disappears, when it should be displaced.

Rory: Did you never finish the game? It was all a dream.

Idea: A three-dimensional Mario game in which Mario can enter any character's mind. The worlds in the game are characters' minds. Super Mario Inception. A modest home world is, in fact, a labyrinthine nesting doll of worlds to explore. It's an open world as concentric circles.

If you knock out a character before entering his or her mind, you can explore a dream version of said character's mind. A Magikoopa might trigger a nightmare version of a character's mind while you are exploring it.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

18. Boys in the hoods (United Shades of America, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Fuck everyone who isn't us." (Game of Thrones, S06E01)
  • "Working class people don't get depression. Depression is a luxury of wealth and free time."
    "Depression is a disease of the opulent." (The Carmichael Show, S02E08)
  • "Your braids and aggressive demeanour tell us you've been through a lot of pain." (The Carmichael Show, S02E08)
  • "Hi, and welcome to the White Youth Focus TV show." (United Shades of America, S01E01)
  • "We don't think making Harrison more like West Africa is an improvement." (United Shades of America, S01E01)
  • "Did you guys put the sign up?"
    "Yeah–no." (United Shades of America, S01E01)

(Silicon Valley, S03E01)

  • "I'm a big fan."
    "Oh, really? Of what? Metamucil? Polio? The phonograph? A nice piece of fish? Segregated water fountains? Senior citizen discounts at Perkins family restaurants? Erectile dysfunction because of corroded penile arteries? Deviled eggs as an entrée? [pause] Liking Ike?" (Silicon Valley, S03E01)
  • "With your help, we think we can cut our 'stache lag to just…20-millisecond motion-to-photon?" (Silicon Valley, S03E01)
  • "I don't think we're 'symposium on race' desperate yet…" (Veep, S05E01)
  • "I LBJ'd you, okay? I'm the LBJ queen." (Veep, S05E01)
  • "Catherine, why is that your hair?" (Veep, S05E01)
  • Bar wordplay – white Russian, logger, bloody Mary (Mr. Pickles, S02E02)
  • "I was just making a Pop Tart bagel sandwich. The Pop Tarts were the bread, and the bagel was the meat." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Yes, Frank, that's my name – seafood." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • Jalen Rose (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Bagel is a meat." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • Busta Rhymes with fake dreadlocks (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Beans are nothing but soggy nuts." (New Girl, S05E17)
  • "Return of high Jess." (New Girl, S05E18)
  • "Stripper ass smells good." (Empire, S02E15)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets


Cena Elementary

The film adaptation of Ratchet and Clank opens on Friday.

Hitman [2]: Agent 47 made $81 million?

Need for Speed made $203 million?!

Resident Evil [5]: Retribution made $240 million. Not sure why the next RE film is "the final chapter."

Q: Rank the following 2016 film adaptations of video games by projected final domestic box office, from largest to smallest: Ratchet and Clank, Angry Birds, Warcraft, Assassin's Creed.

Jon: Hmm…
Jon: I don't know anyone who has played a Ratchet and Clank game, but it's animated.
Jon: Angry Birds seems past its sell-by date, but of the four, I think its name recognition is highest – and it's animated.
Jon: Warcraft feels like a bomb that fans of Warcraft will just torrent.
Jon: Assassin's Creed opens against Rogue One, but there is plenty of Christmastime box office money to go around. I mean, Daddy's Home made $240 million against The Force Awakens.
Jon: I'm gonna say… 1. Angry Birds, 2. Assassin's Creed, 3. Warcraft, 4. Ratchet and Clank.

Drew: 1. Assassin's Creed. Biggest star power and probably the most popular game franchise.
Drew: 2. Warcraft. People will see it just to see it, but I feel like more people know WoW.
Drew: 3. Angry Birds. Pretty irrelevant at this point, but idiot parents will take their horrible children to see it, probably, and it still has more name recognition than…
Drew: 4. Ratchet and Clank. The original came out when I was in college! (a.k.a. a long time ago).

Russell: 1. Angry Birds. Can't deny both adult and child appeal of the franchise. Animation boost. 90-minute runtime triples replay value. Josh Gad prints money.
Russell: 2. Warcraft. Old and new Warcraft fans alike will go regardless of how Avatar it seems to look in both plot/character design. Not sure if people outside of Blizzard fandom will attend. Orcs are not hobbits.
Russell: 3. Assassin's Creed. Fassbender hasn't opened a movie outside of X-Men franchise. Pretty convoluted story even for someone who has played all the games up 'til this last one. Director did that Macbeth adaptation that was good on mood but felt like nine hours while watching. Opens against Rogue One.
Russell: 4. Ratchet and Clank. Sony Animation is hit-or-miss. Not sure it has the same video game appeal of Angry Birds. Fact that I didn't know this was coming out this week says a lot. Can't cook.

Jon: You think Assassin's Creed will be lowest?
Steven: Yeah. Who is the assassin?
Jon: Michael Fassbender.
Steven: Nah, it won't do well.

I will revisit this post next Q1.

A bitter form of refuge

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present Backwash, a podcast by Adam Robot and I.

Episode 15:

iTunes link

1. The Vegas Episode

Yes, a whole episode on Las Vegas.

recorded on March 6, 2016


I was thinking today…

Not to play into the stereotype fact that Asian people like to gamble, but, when I was young, my favourite zone in Sonic 2 was Casino Night, my favourite character in Ranma ½: Hard Battle was Gambling King, and my favourite X-Man was Gambit.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

17. Tina singing "Just What I Needed" (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • RT: Watch Zeke's eyes drop to Tina's chest the moment he first appears in the episode (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)
  • "No one is gonna think you really hate kissing. Do people think Tony Danza is really the boss?"
    "I do… I mean, he's at least a boss…" (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)
  • Ring finger middle finger (The Last Man on Earth, S02E15)

(WWE Raw, 04-18-16)

  • Better Call Saul Season Grade: B
  • "I should've known Agent Wheelan was dirty. There were signs. He wore a V-neck once."
    "Bob! You did nothing?!"
    "It's my greatest regret." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E23)
  • "Chocolate is the devil's carob."
    "And carob is Satan's raisin." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E23)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C+
  • "You're the only one I've been with after your father." (Empire, S02E14)

(Empire, S02E14)

(Archer, S07E04)

  • "Ashes to ashes, dust to side-chicks." (Lemonade)
  • RT: Beyoncé saw tree of life (Lemonade)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets


Sometimes it snows in April

Chris Hemsworth?! The most famous brother?!

No pre-nup? Ponzi scheme?

I was gonna Idea a Fox News cruise, but several conservative cruises already exist. For example:

Of course it's a European river cruise through Axis countries. Of course.

Idea: A Ted cruise that stops at Trump… Ahh, forget it.