8. Ross and Rachel (Looking, S01E05 / Television Episode of the Year Nominee)
"I can see your soul at the edges of your eyes. It's corrosive, like acid. You've got a demon, little man. There's a shadow in you, son." (True Detective, S01E05)
"Why should I live in history, huh? Fuck, I don't wanna know anything anymore. This is a world where nothing is solved. Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever done or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again." (True Detective, S01E05)
"In eternity, where there is no time, nothing can grow, nothing can become, nothing changes. So death created time to grow the things that it would kill." (True Detective, S01E05)
All the Emmys to Emmy Rossum and Jeremy Allen White (Shameless, S04E06)
Lena Dunham in a bikini forever (Girls, S03E07)
I am elated that a weekly magic television programme exists (Troy, S01E02)
Tyler and Chloe's cryptid (Face Off, S06E06)
"I'm sick of living cum to cum." (Workaholics, S04E05)
"Don't you dare listen to this bro-life propaganda. It's poppycock is what it is." (Workaholics, S04E05)
The Taste Season Grade: C
"Our reward is dinner with the original cast of Revenge of the Nerds." (King of the Nerds, S02E05)
How sick is the cast of eating Little Caesars pizza? (King of the Nerds, S02E05)
Poor Hood family. Father shot up, buried twice. Son strangled, put through a meat grinder (Banshee, S02E07)
"For the record, I didn't force Marcus to eat meat. He likes meat. He loves it. He's a carnivore. You do not want to be in a plane crash in the Andes when Marcus is on board." (About a Boy, S01E01)
House of Lulz
God of War: Ascension (House of Cards, S02E02)
DEEP WEB (House of Cards, S02E02)
Frank saying "muchas gracias" to the Hispanic congressman (House of Cards, S02E03)
Hacker McPoyle (House of Cards, S02E03/S02E04)
White powder contrivance (House of Cards, S02E04)
Ashleigh Banfield's interview questions (House of Cards, S02E04)
An hour-long interview with the Second Lady [like anyone cares] that is, for some reason, live (House of Cards, S02E04)
casual encounters >>> m4mw (House of Cards, S02E05)
Diary of an abortion doctor (House of Cards, S02E05)
Barking? (House of Cards, S02E05)
Anyone want to record a House of Cards: Season 2 "How Did This Get Made?" podcast with me?
My niece's birthday is next week. She wants a Frozen doll – you know, the animated film – but I'm not sure which princess she wants. There are two, and I can't remember the name she said.
I think she wants Elsa? But then, what if someone else gets her an Elsa doll too? What if she told other people that she wants an Elsa doll? I want my present to be unique. I want to be the person who got her an Elsa doll.
Children should have registries for birthdays.
Each candle is handcrafted in small batches with great attention to detail to create the perfect blend of smoked brisket and aged hickory.
What a year it could've been for Earl – boxing George Zimmerman, opening for a reunited Midtown…
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Denver's airport is like an oasis. I understand building an airport on the outskirts of a city because of noise pollution, but Denver's airport could be miles closer and still isolated. Also, that airport hotels are seven miles away from the airport is odd, particularly when most of the land within seven miles of the airport is undeveloped.
What does that thing above 33 denote?
Oh! It's Colorado's flag.
Colorado's flag looks corporate. Free association: Red Bull.
I want this Colorado flag hoodie.
Adam Robot doesn't think that I could hack it in Colorado, that I would ever fit in.
I'm tempted to prolong my stay just to prove him wrong. Find a sublet. I'll show you, motherfucker.
I met a number of people this weekend in Boulder who assumed that I lived in Boulder.
When I told them that I'm actually visiting from California, they all replied, "What part? I'm from California too."
An Etsy vendor combined Colorado and California's flags:
It looks like Cubs merch.
7. The long tracking shot — it lasts a shade under six minutes — that follows Rust through the stash house and then during his elaborate escape to Marty's car with a prisoner in tow (True Detective, S01E04)
Cold open (Babylon, S01E01)
(The Walking Dead, S04E09)
Graham's make-up (Face Off, S06E05)
"Don't be cheap. Bertie is a Somalian." (New Girl, S03E16)
"Quick question: Is pee pee a write-off?" (New Girl, S03E16)
Airport traffic cop humour (New Girl, S03E16)
"Oh, Canada. Truly Odie to America's Garfield," (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E17)
"A gondola ride along the Gowanus Canal." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E17)
"Beating up a white bitch for burgers? That's the shit I like." (Workaholics, S04E04)
Glitter fit (King of the Nerds, S02E04)
"Asimov is the only author." (King of the Nerds, S02E04)
"I'm a world-class gamer!" (King of the Nerds, S02E04)
Decapitation by skidding semi-trailer truck (Banshee, S02E06)
First stop: Voodoo Doughnut!
You can now buy marijuana-infused spaghetti sauce and sarsaparilla in Colorado. [source]
Attention seeking in the 21st century:
Idea: A series of pornographic short films in which she lives out her tweets with celebrity impersonators.
Episode 1: "Cristiano Ronaldo" makes her cum.
Episode 6: "Drake Bell," "Vanilla Ice," and "Justin Bieber" triple stuff her.
Series Finale: "Eminem."
Idea: Filter comments on the Internet by age of commenter. "Show only comments by people [over] age ."
Reality Show Idea: Yelp House. 12 Yelp Elite live together and perform various food/service-oriented challenges, after which they critique each other's performances, and the person with the lowest number of stars is evicted. The 10 evictees return to judge the final challenge. The prize is a trip around the world with meals at restaurants that are almost impossible to get into.
Restaurant Name Idea: "Grand Opening." And don't invest in proper signage. Permanent banner outside.
B: Hey, can you pick up Max and Sophie today?
Jon: Sure. Huff?
Jon: Seems like you enroll them in a different school each year.
B: In the JCC – Helios School for Gifted Children.
Jon: Heh. Your kids are mutants?
Jon: What do you call this shape?
Chris: A triangle.
Jon: Its hypotenuse is curved, though.
Chris: A concave right triangle.
Jon: Don't the sides of a triangle have to be straight lines?
Chris: The name "triangle" suggests that having three angles is more important.
Jon: Well, that triangle's three angles don't add up to 180°.
Jon: What do you call this shape?
Chris: Uhh… An arcangle?
Jon: Heh. That shape is a mutant?