Let's just kiss 'til we're naked

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Sep 2014):

I have never seen it, but Training Day seems like an odd film for marketers to keep referencing.


over a decade of training day references

I like how End of Watch is deemed worthy enough to be referenced, but not so much that it can't just say "from the writer and director of End of Watch."


Antoine Fuqua has since become the director of Training Day and The Equalizer. You know, that cultural touchstone THE EQUALIZER.


The trailer for Allied bills Robert Zemeckis as "director of Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Flight."

The trailer for The Walk, Zemeckis' previous film, also bills him as "director of Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Flight."

Forrest Gump and Cast Away I get, but Flight?

Evidently, Denzel is the Trump of cinema.


Q: How do you market a film by someone who hasn't done anything in 16 years?


A: List his oeuvre.

If Warren Beatty can be billed as the filmmaker of Bonnie and Clyde – a 49-YEAR-OLD film – then surely Robert Zemeckis can be billed as the director of Back to the Future.

And haphazardly, their piss is very flammable


Mensch on a Bench as an alternative to Elf on a Shelf – sure.


Mensch on a Bench family? Ehh…

More Jewish plush novelties is not how I would diversify. The market for Jewish plush novelties is just Jews, and only ones who are keen on Jewish plush novelties. You are returning to a decreasingly potable well that is no more than 0.19% of Earth's population.


Why are NyQuil and NyQuil Severe separate products? Why would I buy regular NyQuil if a stronger NyQuil is also available? Is NyQuil like antibiotics? Can I develop a tolerance to NyQuil?



Why is Doritos' branding futuristic? They're tortilla chips.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


46. Iguana vs. Snakes (Planet Earth II, S02E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Maeve tours Delos' headquarters (Westworld, S01E06)
  • Sam's chaotic morning (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Mark and Chris fight (Shark Tank, S08E08)
  • Walking Dead Chappelle's Show (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Football Party (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Stray Observations

  • "Vermont is nice…"
    "It's beautiful. The cows love dying there." (Bob's Burgers, S07E04)
  • "I'm gonna make like a tree and fuck you!" (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • "There's my powerful vagina." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • Who's the Boss? (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: The Jam – "Town Called Malice" (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: Piano "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • ♫: Vitamin String Quartet – "Motion Picture Soundtrack" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "Is she becoming, like, a fuckin'…hentai thing with you now?" (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "If you're getting fucked either way, go with the lucrative version." (Westworld, S01E06)
  • The Gallagher Home for the Homeless interior looks like Sheila's house (Shameless, S07E06)
  • ♫: Dylan Kelly – "Silver Lining" (Shameless, S07E06)
  • Fire sprinkler shower (The Last Man on Earth, S03E05)
  • "Roscoe's got some talent!" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Problem – "D2B [feat. Bad Lucc and The Homegirl]" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • "I always thought it was about a girl named Sicario." (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: St. Beauty – "Borders" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Wall of Voodoo – "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash (People of Earth, S01E03)
  • "Seriously? It looks like they're pouring out of her lady hole."
    "I thought that was the obvious place. You think it should be her asshole?" (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Gates of hell equals vagina." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Feelings have to run both ways. Otherwise, it's just like…masturbating into naan bread."
    "Why naan bread?"
    "Had an Indian takeaway last night. Some leftovers. Seemed a shame to waste it." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "You're all terrible people, with the saddest tan lines I've ever seen coming off any Hawaiian flight." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "All this talk of celibacy and male friendship. Meanwhile, I'm harbouring the nipple king of Lafayette High." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Is it a baby? I won't love it Ray, I'm sorry." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Jack took one look at what I did for a living and decided to spend the afternoon with a stranger doing maintenance work on the huh-vac."
    "It's H-vac." (Black-ish, S03E06)


(American Horror Story, S06E09)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • "Oh, I know…" drop (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "Jon, why do you always say 'I know' to dogs?"
    "I don't know. [dog barks] Right? I know… I don't know… I know… I don't know… I know…" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "I was ready to unleash my plan and turn this poo frown upside brown." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "You were great on Girls, by the way." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • Furbys (Rectify, S04E03)
  • "Or me, from Family Guy?" (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Miller, Von Miller." (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Ohh, he's pressin' pickle!" (South Park, S20E07)
  • Long unbroken takes (You're the Worst, S03E11)


(Jeopardy!, 11-10-16)

  • ♫: Laurie Anderson – "O Superman" (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Better Things Season Grade: D+
  • "What about undocumented immigrants?"
    "Oh, they're not going nowhere. Come on, man, you act like everybody trying to pick their own strawberries." (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Inside SNL – heh (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

All the spoils of a wasted life

Rory: Why are you doing this?
Jon: It came to me in my sleep last night.
Rory: That Wes Anderson is the white M. Night Shyamalan?

Wide Awake = Bottle Rocket
The Sixth Sense = Rushmore
Unbreakable = The Royal Tenenbaums
Signs = The Life Aquatic
The Village = The Darjeeling Limited
Lady in the Water = Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Happening = Moonrise Kingdom
The Last Airbender = The Grand Budapest Hotel
After Earth = Untitled stop-motion film about dogs

Jon: Hmm… Fantastic Mr. Fox (haven't seen) probably isn't Wes' Lady in the Water (also haven't seen), but The Darjeeling Limited is definitely his Village, and Moonrise Kingdom is definitely his Happening.
Rory: Swap The Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic.


Rory: Ha. The episode titles for Insecure:

Jon: Hmm…

Bottle Rocket = Guilty as Fuck
Rushmore = Insecure as Fuck
The Royal Tenenbaums = Broken as Fuck
The Life Aquatic = Messy as Fuck
The Darjeeling Limited = Racist as Fuck
Fantastic Mr. Fox = Shady as Fuck? (haven't seen)
Moonrise Kingdom = Thirsty as Fuck
The Grand Budapest Hotel = Real as Fuck

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

45. Showering Together (Insecure, S01E04)


Stray Observations

  • "How much for one cornea?" (Shameless, S07E05)
  • "What's the use, honey? Rich people always win." (Shameless, S07E05)
  • "You know Daniel is your Achilles' dick." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "I think she walks to Ralphs to poop." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "Is this from Pie Hole?" (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "How you ever worked with Drake?"
    "Naw, but I'm producing a track real soon for Ty Dolla $ign."
    "So…not Drake." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "What if I could introduce you to Ty Dolla $ign?" (Insecure, S01E04)
  • ["Roman sucks" chant]
    Mick Foley: "My wife loves you." (WWE Raw, 10-31-16)


(WWE Raw, 10-31-16)

  • Taiwan politics (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • Latino Morrissey fan (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • "How Soon Is Now?" adjace (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • I'm Jack Clovis, president of the Wallkeepers, and owner of a Blimpie Subs and Salads." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • "Tony Danza is the first person to lift someone up! His letters were the only thing keeping Pac alive!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • ♫: D.R.A.M. – "Broccoli [feat. Lil Yachty]" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "Free chicken sandwich day, nigga!" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "I don't know the titty median here." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • ♫: "Ride Wit Me"
    "This is Beyoncé's best song." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "What if we found out Ja Rule was just a dog?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "Speaking of money, how you think these sunflower seed companies make money? They're only 75 cents a pack. And now they're coming out with all these different flavours. You got barbecue, teriyaki, sushi…"
    "Sushi, nigga?"
    "Catfish…"
    "I don't know if I want no sushi seeds, man.
    "No, they're delicious."
    "Sushi sunflower seeds?"
    "Yeah, yeah."
    "Why you didn't get those?"
    "Don't really support sushi. I think it's a bigger issue than people talk about."
    "It's not like they killing the sushi and putting it in the seed, bro."
    "Oh, so that's artificial?"
    "That's artificial." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "48 Hours. All black cast. Does that even work?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "If y'all ever break up, would that be weird?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • ♫: "Outkast" – "Elevators [Me and You]" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • Atlanta Season Grade: A-
  • "Did it involve shitting in a sleeping bag?"
    "No."
    "Shitting on a pie? In a cooler? Tub of margarine? Crisp packet? Shitting in a baguette?" (Crazyhead, S01E03)
  • "You cut off my ear."
    "It's a present for Christmas. It's the best day of the year. We each get a pickled ear." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Fear and exhaustion gives the jerky a delicious tang." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "I'm supposed to go to Thailand next month. I've never been. I'm flying first class." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Do you want a joint?" (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Shelby would never kill herself. She's way too self-centred to commit suicide." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "If I die, I just want you all to know I had so many wonderful performances waiting for you." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "You say 'tomato,' I say 'mommy.'" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Do you have more of a fire engine red so it matches the nugget box?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Dave, I'm so sorry that you're gonna have dementia when you get older. Let's savour this moment, even though he won't remember it." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Totally cured, free guac!" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • ♫: A Giant Dog – "Sex and Drugs" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • Doug Benson (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "Name one family that's just one person."
    "Suddenly Susan." (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "I have the wine" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "What do you get somebody who wants to eat a unicorn? A unicorn bib! Yes! No! No, uhh, unicorn holders. You know, like, like corn holders, but for unicorns?" (The Good Place, S01E09)
  • "At night, it was pretty classic torture – flying piranhas, lava monsters, college improv…" (The Good Place, S01E09)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek