Is it me, or do visual effects actually look worse nowadays?
God, imagine Triple H as Thor.
Clearly, Disney acquired Lucasfilm to offset the enormous bath it will take on The Lone Ranger. Nothing another Star Wars film can't soothe.
Is this…Eiffel 65?
AND "Mambo No. 5"?!
Jon Favreau's physique is like a box of chocolates.
Was that ShamWow Guy?
With a little editing, The Mandarin's transmissions could be Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" ads.
Downton Abbey, eh?
[snort] Who would ever attack San Rafael?
Studio note: The house destruction scene could use some product placement. Can you work in an Audi?
An active phone booth.
I don't understand why Tony is so traumatized. Wasn't he all jokes at the end of The Avengers? Shawarma?
Heh. Iron Patriot is Fe-lawful.
Is Killian's company named AIM because it's MIA backward?
I can't tell if this speed test is product placement or not.
Isn't this the drug lord's house in Bad Boys II?
Reverse Home Alone.
Ra's al Ghul'd.
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Budweiser."
If Killian needs Stark to solve his problem, why did he try to kill Stark earlier?
Rhodes was hunting a master terrorist in a polo shirt and jeans.
What if the boy never unlocked the doors? Would Stark be running around with just an iron forearm and crus?
This is the longest Christmas ever.
I'm tired of action scenes in shipyards.
Drill Man. Tony Stark = Dr. Wily.
Capcom Fighting Game Idea: Iron Man vs. Mega Man. All robot characters.
I'm unclear as to how you vanquish a weaponized baddie.
FiOS in small town Tennessee. Mmmkay.
Written by Shane Black and Drew Pearce. Drew Pearce… Oh. He created No Heroics.
If Happy wasn't so nosy, he would not have been injured at the Chinese Theatre, and Stark would not have challenged The Mandarin, and The Mandarin would not have attacked Stark's house, nor would Stark have visited Tennessee.
So if Happy wasn't so nosy, Iron Man 3 could have been an hour shorter. Killian could just have kidnapped Pepper.
Vernon Chatman is half the brains behind Wonder Showzen, as well as a behind-the-scenes player on South Park and Louie.
In his new book, Chatman hires barely literate essay writers to complete perverse assignments like, "How would the Bible be different if it starred the giant spider from Kafka's The Metamorphosis?"
[wednesday, may 15, 2013]
tlc special: saving ricky: operation fat man
Operation Fat Man?
Hmm… Nothing on YouTube.
Oh. "The Man Who Ate Himself to Death" is the same special. Just…different title.
Here we go. Video of the special.
He looks like…
Actual accompanying narration: "Can Ricky be shipped across the Pacific Ocean by sea?"
Did anyone think to wait until he turns 13 before removing the mole and train him to be a ninja in the interim?
The Iron Cone
Our tribute to Game of Thrones: The cream is dark and full of cherries (black cherry ice cream), the blood of the dragon (spicy dark chocolate swirl) with every bite a stab from the Kingslayer (pierced with broken sugar cones).
There's Always Money in the Banana Stand
Banana ice cream and chocolate flakes with homemade peanut brittle covered with chocolate and a sprinkle of sea salt. Each scoop comes with a chocolate coin. Ode to Arrested Development!
Los Pollos Helado
Cereal milk ice cream with Blue Razz Pop Rocks. Eh?
18. Will's re-creation of the nurse's murder (Hannibal, S01E06)
- Fiery Beric/Hound duel (Game of Thrones, S03E05)
- Dub Step Dad (Loiter Squad, S02E08)
- Norma imagines Norman and Bradley sexy time – lulz (Bates Motel, S01E07)
- Andy's swan song (The Office, S09E21)
- The Fat Farms of Mauritania (Vice, S01E05)
- Darrell's House II (Saturday Night Live, S38E19)
- "My heart just pooped its pants. Pbbrt pbbrt." (Bob's Burgers, S03E21)
"Lipstick, pepper spray, tiny baby carrots."
"What's the theme?"
"Woman of the night. She gets dressed up, she kills a john, she has a snack." (Bob's Burgers, S03E21)
- "Show her the tampon straw!" (Bob's Burgers, S03E21)
"This isn't a POTUS thing. Why is Scrotus here?"
"Think of me as a cheerleader, Mike."
"Oh God. I'm imagining you in a bathtub full of rose petals." (Veep, S02E03)
GPOY (Mad Men, S06E05)
- "You don't even know good writing. That's why you're a teacher, right? Those that can, do, and those that can't, teach." – [facepalm] (The Following, S01E15)
- He loves the '90s: Sega Genesis, "Low" by Cracker, "Creep" by Stone Temple Pilots, Sonic the Hedgehog (Rectify, S01E03)
- "David Foster Wallace, where is the sex?" (New Girl, S02E23)
- "Back in high school, they used to call me…the sex, the Sex Haver." (New Girl, S02E23)
- "Caress Me Down" by Sublime (New Girl, S02E23)
- Jake Johnson for MVP of television (New Girl, S02E23)
- RT: "Network sitcom rankings: 1.) New Girl TRIUMPHANT 2.) Bob's Burgers…"
- "Games Without Frontiers" by Peter Gabriel (The Americans, S01E13)
- "Creed Bratton is the new manager!" (The Office, S09E21)
- "'Hors d'oeuvres'? Okay, that's French, I recognize that, but I don't speak French, so I went with a surefire bet of glitter." (Zach Stone Is Gonna Be Famous, S01E01)
- "This is now officially my worst nightmare. That's right, Jason Giambi sex dream, you're out!" (Happy Endings, S03E22)
- "I got so many 'no's, I felt like Jason Giambi in my Jason Giambi sex dream!" (Happy Endings, S03E22)
- Ominous spinning wheel of coloured safety scissors (Orphan Black, S01E06)
- Hot glue gun as interrogation device (Orphan Black, S01E06)
How is there no supercut of air balls on YouTube? I will also accept a supercut of fat guy touchdowns.
The supercut of Devin Hester's kick returns needs to be updated.
If you ever want to extract information from me, force me to watch a supercut of Ken Jeong acting obnoxious on a loop.
Pockets of cheese? Pizza Hut somehow found a third way to stuff cheese in a pizza crust.
How are you supposed to hold a slice of that pizza with its pockets of cheese detached?
Idea: A supercut of telly adverts for Pizza Hut's innovations.
You wonder what ideas Pizza Hut has rejected.
I am terrible with street names. In my youth, I dreaded ordering pizza for delivery because I knew that I would blank when asked for my cross street.
"Guh. Is it Truman or Bryant?"
Jon: Have you ever met a Luigi in real life? Can you name any Luigi besides Mario's brother?
Jon: I was thinking about Mario Lopez playing Mario, but a Luigi to play Luigi stumped me.
Tulane's commencement speaker this year is the Dalai Lama? That sounds like a comedy sketch.
Prestige be damned. I think commencement speakers should first and foremost appeal to young people. They should be like guests at the White House Correspondents' Dinner – people of the now.
Wesleyan's commencement speaker this year is Joss Whedon – yes!
Ripon's commencement speaker is Nate Silver – yes!
Wisconsin's commencement speaker is Anders Holm (Workaholics) – bit of a reach, but yes!
Oprah is a "get" for Harvard, but wouldn't 21-year-olds rather hear from Jay-Z?
Toss-up! Better commencement speaker this year: The creator of Kinect for Xbox (RIT) or the CEO of Dropbox (MIT)?
Scud: Who was your commencement speaker?
Jon: Well, I didn't attend, but it was Frank Marshall, Spielberg's producing partner. Had I stayed at UCLA for another quarter, it would've been Cookie Monster. For real.
Scud: When did the guitarist for Linkin Park speak?
Jon: 2009, I think. He stepped in when James Franco withdrew.
Jon: This year, I would've invited ascending alumnus Chris Hardwick. And there's always Urkel.
Scud: Urkel could address graduates in complete darkness.
Bacarri Rambo was born Bacarri Fudge (Fudge was his mother's maiden name). But in grade school his parents legally changed his name to Rambo (after his father, Danny Rambo).
"When people see the name 'Rambo' on the back of my jersey, they expect me to be a hard-nosed killer with a scarf around my head and paint under my eyes. If I was playing in the secondary and named Fudge, everybody would say I was soft. I went from being soft to being hard."
Actually, he went from Fudge to Goo before arriving at Baccari Rambo.
"When I was an infant, my mom used to always give me cough drops because I always used to cry. So I'd get cough drops, and I'd suck on them. And my eyes, they'd say I'd look like Mr. Magoo, the cartoon character, because my eyes would get big. Then it went from Mr. Magoo to Magoo. Then everyone started calling me 'Goo.'"
"That's like a hometown nickname. None of the teachers at my school called me Bacarri. Matter of fact, I've never ever heard my mom or my dad call me Bacarri. Everybody calls me 'Goo' back at home."
So, to recap: Bacarri Rambo was known as Goo Fudge through middle school, then Goo Rambo and now just Bacarri Rambo.
New York City's Rooftop Films announced its summer 2013 line-up. It features some films that Adam Riff™ has blindly championed – Awful Nice, The Dirties, The 12 O'Clock Boys – as well as Jord's film, The Kings of Summer.
RE: The Kings of Summer
Aren't they a little old to be running away from home to live in the woods?
I myself have been working on a film that will premiere this June. Should I be listed as Jonathan Yu (III) or Jon Yu (II) on IMDb?
Jram: What's your middle name?
Jon: Jono Yu? Jonah Yu. Nathan Yu.
Jram: Nathan (IV) Yu.
I've been in New York City for about four months now, and it still feels like an Inception sub-level. Just waiting for the kick back to the west coast.
I passed a homeless woman today reading a book. If you're begging for money, I feel that you should put some effort into it. Look the part. Inspire me to donate beyond your sign.
Idea: A Survivor season with all homeless contestants. Similar living situation, but on a beach, and with the opportunity to win one million dollars.
Some Survivor fans have long wished for a season set in a cold climate. How about said all homeless one? Producers wouldn't have to fret over clothing covering up attractive bodies.