In China to donate his kidney to his dying niece, former black-ops agent Deacon awakes the day before the operation to find he is the latest victim of organ theft. Stitched up and pissed-off, Deacon descends from his opulent hotel in search of his stolen kidney and carves a blood-soaked path through the darkest corners of the city. The clock is ticking for his niece and with each step he loses blood. [source]
Bill How did you come up with [The Last Man on Earth]?
Will: We had settled on this other show idea. It was about… Val Kilmer used to, he stayed with me for a while 'cause we became buddies through MacGruber. This is in real life. He was leaving this one place, and wanted to look for another place, so he just needed a place to stay for what I thought was a couple days, and he just couldn't find the right place, so it ended up being several months. So that was what we were gonna write the show about. It was gonna be a partly fact, partly fictional…
Will: While [Val Kilmer] was staying with me, I was watching The Amazing Race. I was really into that show at the time. He thought I was an idiot for watching it, and then I got him fascinated by it, so we, for a short period of time, were planning to try to get on The Amazing Race together.
Val Kilmer should show up in season two of The Last Man on Earth playing himself. Celebrity survivor.
You know how people bemoan that MTV isn't music television anymore, or that History Channel isn't about history anymore? I feel similarly about most of the themed resorts on the Las Vegas Strip. Management has made hot messes of original concepts and designs. I mean, what even is Treasure Island now?
Ye olde Buca di Beppo
Sandwiched between The Cosmopolitan and Bellagio, the Jockey Club is the house in Up.
Considering that The Harmon at CityCenter is STILL being demolished, the carcasses of the unfinished Fontainebleau and Echelon Place resorts may just sit on the north side of the Strip forever, like scenic albatrosses.
The Fashion Show Mall is re-developing again. Remember when a submarine protruded from its facade for that restaurant created by Steven Spielberg?
Submarine to flying saucer to…
Jackie Robinson the basketball player reportedly intends to build a 22,000-seat arena on the Strip beside the Sahara SLS, never mind that MGM is currently building a 20,000-seat arena behind New York-New York. Three arenas within three miles of each other on the same street?
What Vegas needs is a new stadium (cough, Fontainebleau/Echelon Place). Super Bowl on the Strip. WrestleMania. Final Four.
The seemingly endless stretch of Asian strip malls that is West Spring Mountain Road
The combination Panda Express and Chipotle beside Harrah's
The store in the Venetian mall that shows video in its windows of Michael Jackson shopping inside on a loop
The swanky stand-alone McDonald's outside dumpy Circus Circus
The house on the way from the airport to the Strip with a unipole billboard planted in its driveway
The hipster-y area neighbouring the east end of the Fremont Street Experience
The park created out of shipping containers in said hipster-y area
The shipping container treehouse in said park
» The $7.5 million, 22,000-pound, kinetic chandelier at Omnia nightclub
"I didn't want to crush his family. That's why I'm at the memorial."
"Not because it was the right thing to do?"
"No, no. I mean, we never even went skiing." (New Girl, S04E19)
"Check my balls right now. Be purple they so blue." (Justified, S06E11)
"I don't even miss it anymore. It's like Circuit City." (Modern Family, S06E19)
"I thought you could help me, because…"
"Because you're not good with words."
"Well, I'm a doctor. I can't admit I'm not good at something." (Modern Family, S06E19)
Maury (Black-ish, S01E18)
"If it's a boy, I'm thinking 'Gimli.' If it's a girl…Gimli still works!" (Black-ish, S01E18)
How to get her to pee on a stick without knowing (Black-ish, S01E18)
"Don't drink the floor smoothie." (Workaholics, S05E12)
"I put peyote in the smoothies."
"Peyote at work?"
"As Joseph Rogan said, he took peyote before an MMA class and he said it was the bomb diggity."
"Do NOT make up Joe Rogan quotes! That is NOT okay!"
"Why did you Joe Rogan us? Why couldn't you just Seth Rogen us? We could've just smoked a bunch of weed." (Workaholics, S05E12)
RT: Henry really should be the second generation illegal. That porn stash is better concealed than some dead drops they've used. (The Americans, S03E10)
"That's not football; that's dots." (The Americans, S03E10)
Henry cluelessly nattering on about "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" (The Americans, S03E10)
Philip sharpening a knife while Paige eyes Stan (The Americans, S03E10)
"She seems like a normal baby weight."
"Oh yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up and everyone's Kickstarter has merit." (Archer, S06E13)
"The sub is too small to track with our current technology."
"Maybe the CIA should do a Kickstarter." (Archer, S06E13)
Archer Season Grade: D+
Troy Season Grade: C+
RT: Reality show rules:
-Survivor? Know how to make fire
-Amazing Race? Drive stick shift
-Hell's Kitchen? Make scallops & risotto (The Amazing Race, S26E05)
"You were in the movie The Dark Knight Rises, where you played Commissioner Gordon-Levitt." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"I didn't realize this movie meant that much to you."
"It sort of launched my career in a lot of ways. I changed agents and everything afterwards." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"Which outfit do you prefer for our big date tonight: This slinky red dress or this Battletoads costume?" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"Diane, wait, stop! If you step on that plane, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life."
"Scott, you're too late. I'm stepping on this plane and I'm moving on with my life." – Chekhov's model airplane (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
"Kirk Cameron. Alan Thicke calling here. I'm doing an ad in Siberia for horse bacon, and they're wondering if maybe we could get the whole cast of Growing Pains here. What do you think? Horse bacon, yeah. Hey, hey, hey. All of the proceeds will go to Christian ministries. And, uhh, all of the horses they slaughtered are gay. Heathen gay horses, yeah. (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
"Satan's Dick Ring." (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
The 2015 Alternative Press Music Awards will feature performances from Weezer, Panic! At The Disco, New Found Glory, Taking Back Sunday, Simple Plan, Sum 41, the Madden Brothers and many more to be announced!
A Manson-style cult uses a long-lost Fab Four song to jump-start the zombie Helter Skelter. A popular radio DJ plays the song, inadvertently creating a flesh eating zombie in a walrus costume. [source]
"Free as a Bird" or "Real Love"?
A flesh-eating zombie, as opposed to…?
Why is the revived corpse in a walrus costume?
So that's two horror films involving a walrus costume.
Reality Competition Idea: Chopped, but with short films. Filmmakers must incorporate four mystery ingredients into a short film.
"And you must use: A cult, a Beatles song, a zombie, and a walrus costume."
Idea: A self-serve burritoria. Grab a tortilla, spoon fillings onto it, and then an employee will wrap your burrito and weigh it. $0.33/oz.
"I have to scrub my junk at the Citgo." (Shameless, S05E10)
"Cockblocking Laura Bush." (Shameless, S05E10)
"'Ignite the spank'?" (The Last Man on Earth, S01E05)
"Hey. I'm Todd." [mariachi music] (The Last Man on Earth, S01E05)
"That orgasm was generously provided by Phil Miller." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
"Some freakin' fat dude named Todd." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
"Big Shankhead here." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
"What's your favourite part of Shawshank, Phil?"
"Uhhh… You know, so many parts, so many parts to choose from and to pick from. Uhh, probably, you know, the part where the Shawshank is redeemed." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
"It's hard to trust fats." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
"Maybe she was out of my league, but look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri. If that ashy little nugget could get it, so could I." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
"R.I.P. B. Lee." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
"I like quitters even less than losers. It goes like this: Quitters, losers, cats, Kleenex, Martin Sheen, redheads, croissants, buttons…" (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
(Face Off, S08E11)
"Mr. and Mrs. Ofay." (Justified, S06E10)
Ava! (Justified, S06E10)
"But you called me 'Banjovi.'" (Modern Family, S06E18)
"It's a shock, like when we first got high-def TV and I realized Ed Bradley had an earring." (Modern Family, S06E18)
"If you're gonna keep playing basketball, I think you really need to play a less intense game, maybe with more Colins and Ethans and less Maliks and Jamals." (Black-ish, S01E17)
"In cool, black 40 is the white 25." (Black-ish, S01E17)
"In health, black 40 is the white 75." (Black-ish, S01E17)
"Yo, [Jermaine Dupri], what's up, man? It's Dre."
"Yo, Dre, what's up? I sold, like, 250 million records."
"I need a favour, brother."
"Man, anything for you. I discovered Bow Wow." (Black-ish, S01E17)
JD: "Happy birthday, Dre. You know I danced with Whodini, right? And I'm vegan. Like, no meat. Completely off the dairy." (Black-ish, S01E17)
"You are a great man, Mr. Dick Blownoff." (Workaholics, S05E11)
"We do improv comedy. It's kinda like Whose Line. A lot of 'yes, and…'"
"Yes, and…what the hell's Whose Line?"
"Oh. It's like Wild 'n Out."
"Okay, well, here's a tip: lead with that. You know, just drop 'Affion Crockett' and people will be with you. Have we seen you in anything?"
"I've been in some commercials."
"Ohhh, he's the Captain Obvious guy."
"That's not me."
"I know who he is. Dude, you're one of the two Sonic guys! We watch you all the time!"
"I'm not, that's not me."
"I thought you were in commercials, man. What the heck? Do you even know Flo?" (Workaholics, S05E11)
"I'm a serious actor. I trained under THE Jim Rash." (Workaholics, S05E11)
"Okay, FUCK Jim Rash." (Workaholics, S05E11)
"TV's Michael Gray." (Archer, S06E12)
Morton! (Fortitude, S01E10)
"Man, this some bullshit."
"Don't even sweat it, mate. We'll get these fools on Frasier trivia night. The whole world know I fuck with Niles!" (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
"He [Jaleel White] orders Thai food delivery every single night."
"But why Thai food?"
"Because Thai food ain't got no cheese." (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
"Jaleel White's mind is so beautiful." (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
Fat Joey Fatone doing his "Bye Bye Bye" back-up vocals and dance moves (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E06)
"How much resentment do you have towards Moe Howard for constantly poking you in the eyes?" (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E06)