Yosi: I'll meet you all at Fat Rice tonight. I have to speak at an event beforehand as a favour to an alderman friend of mine. Jon: You're friends with an alderman? You should invite him or her to dinner with us. Yosi: Will do.
Yosi enters the restaurant alone.
Jon: Where's the alderman? Yosi: He's coming. He lives nearby.
A dapper Latino bloke enters the restaurant.
He's the alderman?!
Jon: How old are you? Carlos: 28. Jon: And you represent Logan Square? Carlos: Yup.
The next day, who do I see on the cover of the Chicago Reader but Yosi's alderman friend:
Had I known that the new face of socialism would be joining us for dinner, I would have requested jamón ibérico.
"Is that a…hoof collage?" (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"You have wondered what your life could have been without Rick?"
"Wondered? Sure. I mean, I've wondered about having a vagina."
"You're asking me to lure Rick to his death?"
"I'm only asking you to go on a ride with Rick, get off the ride without Rick, and go home to your family, where you can…wonder about having a vagina."
"Okay, okay, that was a very specific example pulled from thin air." (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"Give that button a push."
"Okay, so, I pushed the button, and three little men ran out. What do I do next?" (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties!" (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"Go back to your quietly ashamed family and live out the rest of your days in denial of your vagina fantasies."
"It was a one-time thought that everyone has!" (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia."
"I'm starting to believe you, because I just finished merging with your essence for an endless epoch and I'm already back to thinking you're an asshole."
"Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways. Sounds like you and the word 'epoch' have a lot of catching up to do." (Rick and Morty, S03E05)
"I'm over here answering our destiny. Come on over. It's good, it's warm. It's like the inside of bread."
"I'm not gonna get inside of bread with you." (The Tick, S01E01)
"Watch out! She shoots glass eyes." (The Tick, S01E02)
"You cannot borrow a poncho. This is not a poncho library." (The Tick, S01E02)
♫: 311 – "Come Original" (The Tick, S01E02)
"You're, uh…better than a Swiffer." (The Tick, S01E02)
"Irradiated Landscaper Identified." (The Tick, S01E03)
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty
"And last night, I had another Monica Bellucci dream." (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
"Monica was very pleasant." (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
RT: Whilst Jake was still at university, his original 2010 viral accents [YouTube] video caught the attention of David Lynch, who promptly got in touch to discuss a potential role for Jake in one of his upcoming projects. Jake then kept in regular contact with Lynch on Skype. (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
"Honey! Call 9-1-1! We got a dead one at the bar." (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
♫: Lissie – "Wild West" (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
RT: Anyone else see the audience for James in Part 13 was the same for the band in Part 14? (Twin Peaks, S03E14)
"Nothing fucks you harder than time." (Game of Thrones, S07E05)
"Okay, you know, I'm not trying to call Jenn out or anything, but she's always at that Messianic place square-dancing with that rabbi dude. You know, coming back with that…certain smell? You know, like, yard onions and conditioner?" (Claws, S01E10)
Claws Season Grade: C
"I'm a Villanova guy." (Insecure, S02E04)
"Do you like The Weeknd?" (Insecure, S02E04)
"Your black cock feels so good in my white pussy!" (Insecure, S02E04)
"You know who could fuck? LaMarcus." (Insecure, S02E04)
"Nothing but float!" (Insecure, S02E04)
"What I wanna talk to you about is the seriousness of Lion King in this day and age." (Insecure, S02E04)
"Rick, is this a Saw thing? Are you seriously Saw-ing the Vindicators?" (Rick and Morty, S03E04)
Logic (Rick and Morty, S03E04)
"Meanwhile, I have a rape fantasy." (Preacher, S02E09)
RZA (Snowfall, S01E07)
Every Time I Die (What Would Diplo Do?, S01E03)
♫: Jackal – "Animal Style" (What Would Diplo Do?, S01E03)
The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Insecure