Quickie

The Professor had injected himself with papaverine in his hotel room before coming to give the lecture, and deliberately wore loose clothes (hence the track-suit) to make it possible to exhibit the results. He stepped around the podium, and pulled his loose pants tight up around his genitalia in an attempt to demonstrate his erection.

But Prof. Brindley was not satisfied. He looked down sceptically at his pants and shook his head with dismay. 'Unfortunately, this doesn't display the results clearly enough.' He then summarily dropped his trousers and shorts, revealing a long, thin, clearly erect penis.

But the mere public showing of his erection from the podium was not sufficient. He paused, and seemed to ponder his next move. He then said, with gravity, 'I'd like to give some of the audience the opportunity to confirm the degree of tumescence.' With his pants at his knees, he waddled down the stairs, approaching (to their horror) the urologists and their partners in the front row. As he approached them, erection waggling before him, four or five of the women in the front rows threw their arms up in the air, seemingly in unison, and screamed loudly.

The screams seemed to shock Professor Brindley, who rapidly pulled up his trousers, returned to the podium, and terminated the lecture.

How (not) to communicate new scientific information: a memoir of the famous brindley lecture