Red Dawn of Justice

Wikipedia » Zaschitniki:

Zaschitniki is a Russian neo-noir superhero film. It is set to be released in February 2017.

Set during the Cold War, a secret organization named "Patriot" gathered a group of Soviet superheroes, altering and augmenting the DNA of four individuals, in order to defend the homeland from supernatural threats.

The group includes representatives of the different nationalities of the Soviet Union. Superpowers reflect strengths and traditions of the people of the USSR.

Has the ability to seamlessly float through water. This gives her higher mobility in water than the fastest, or most maneuverable sea creature.

Can cause the ground to break apart under his enemies feet with great precision in what parts break and what shape the subsequent depression makes. This allows him to form craters, canyons, ravines, and sink holes which his enemies then fall into.

Has the ability to transform himself into a bear. He can control how much of his body is transformed and can transform partially if he wills it.


Looks pretty good for a $20 million USD film.

Crybaby Squats

The Oscars gotta do a "crying Michael B. Jordan face" joke.

I can't stop looking at this image of The Seer on Vikings. Why didn't anyone tell me about this character? He looks like Kurt Sutter's character on The Bastard Executioner after being cycled through Google Translate.

Vermin Supreme

The NBA All-Star Celebrity Game has become just a platform for Kevin Hart to promote his films.

Oh, he's coaching this year.

Oh, he's coaching against Drake.

Oh, it's USA vs. Canada.

Drake is coaching Win Butler and the Property Brothers! And Kris Wu! Who is Kris Wu?!

Oh, José Bautista is one of Drake's assistant coaches.

Team USA: Ice Cube's son, a co-owner of the Milwaukee Bucks, Muggsy Bogues, and Joel David Moore (The Hottie and the Nottie), who it seems replaced Michael B. Jordan.

Oh, Joel David Moore played in the 2010 Celebrity Game with Dr. Oz and Pitbull.

Update: Kevin Hart un-retired during the game and played in the second half.

Victors Frankenstein

College football recruiting parodies itself.

How is Randy Sklar top-billed?

Update: He's the MC.