Eater's Digest: Las Vegas

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Oh that "Beef Wellington" looks good. How much is it?


Then I saw the price of the king crab.

Greetings from Las Vegas.

March 2015

yusho / bacchanal buffet at caesars palace / sweets raku / the buffet at wynn / du-par's / district one / o face doughnuts / carson kitchen / bazaar meat / bachi burger / culinary dropout / public house (the venetian) / the buffet at wynn / rose. rabbit. lie. / cravings buffet at the mirage

Gold Stars

Pretzel Bar (The Buffet at Wynn)
—The best buffet item in all of Las Vegas – confectionery crack.

Boneless Chicken Wings Skewer (Yusho)
thai chile, bonito salt, lime

12 oz. Ribeye Skewer (Yusho)
wagyu, mushroom ragout, aonori

Hamachi Kama (Yusho)
thai peanut sauce, coconut slaw, lime

Orange Beer Sorbet (Bacchanal Buffet)

Stella [Strawberry Tiramisu] (Sweets Raku)

Buttermilk Hotcakes (Du-par's)

Root Beer Float Doughnut (O Face Doughnuts)
vanilla pudding, root beer caramel, chocolate covered pop rocks

Cotton Candy Foie Gras (Bazaar Meat)
crispy amaranth

A smidge of fatty liver in a cotton candy cocoon. Not bad, but not worth $8 a pop.

Beef and Parmesan Grissini Carpaccio (Bazaar Meat)
washugyu beef, espuma, caramelized onion purée

Sublime raw meat batons. Totally worth $26.

Cravings To-Go! (Cravings Buffet)
—VEGAS BUFFET TAKE-OUT. All you can fit into a container for $16. I wonder if anyone has done it.

Bacon Jam (Carson Kitchen)
baked brie, toasted baguette

A hot jam, with indiscernible Brie.

Crispy Chicken Skins (Carson Kitchen)
smoked honey

Order this instead.

Pizza Doughnut (O Face Doughnuts)
pepperoni, marinara, fresh mozzarella

Made to order and just wretched. Like a clumsy Hot Pocket.

A Lox and Cream Cheese Doughnut is also available. [shudders]

Caviar Tacos (Rose. Rabbit. Lie.)
wild caviar, yukon gold potato shell, hamachi

The name is misleading. They are petite raw fish tacos topped with caviar.

Fish Tacos (District One)
yellow tail, avocado, cilantro, cherry tomato, serrano pepper

Same raw fish. No caviar. Just as tasty.

Also, you order off an edible menu that, when I visited, was served with an apricot dipping sauce.

Pot au Pho (Rose. Rabbit. Lie.)
filet mignon, beef brisket, foie gras, thai basil nage

A mash-up of pot-au-feu, a French boiled dinner of meat and vegetables, and pho, a Vietnamese noodle soup. No noodles, to my dismay. Just a pho-flavoured pot-au-feu.

Chocolate Terrarium (Rose. Rabbit. Lie.)
chocolate pudding, chocolate buttermilk cake, chocolate "soil," puffed wild rice, crispy chocolate tuile, hazelnut ice cream

Everything under the dome is edible, including the flowers, should you want to eat real flowers.

The puffed rice larvae are a fun touch.

Missed Connections

[$27.77] Golden Jackpot Pancakes (The Pantry)
seven pancakes, seven types of chocolate [milk, white, caramelized white, dolce white, caramel, 64% dark, 66% dark], orange marmalade, whipped cream, 23-karat gold flakes

Live Whole Maine Lobster Pho (District One)
lobster, rice noodle soup

Croquetas de Pollo (Bazaar Meat)
chicken-bechamel fritters

Served in a glass sneaker designed by Salma Hayek's brother.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

16. Pooey Louie (Louie, S05E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "But I didn't do anything!"
    "Bologna on rye, Phil!"
    "No! Truth meat on honesty bread!" (The Last Man on Earth, S01E10)
  • "I asked for a do-over and instead I got a doo doo-over. Boom, I still got it." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E10)
  • "Todd, I did not co-write 'Fields of Gold.' The only person who wrote that song was Sting." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E10)
  • The Winklevii? (Silicon Valley, S02E01)
  • "I don't want to live in a world where someone else makes the world a better place better than we do." (Silicon Valley, S02E01)
  • Ronnie Gardocki! (Silicon Valley, S02E01)
  • Reposado! (Silicon Valley, S02E01)

(Silicon Valley, S02E01)

  • "That's just the kind of guy that Peter was – warm, generous, and not disappointed in Snapchat." (Silicon Valley, S02E01)
  • "That wasn't a cock-thumb. That was a cock-cock!" (Veep, S04E01)
  • "Shit doesn't hit fuck." (Veep, S04E01)
  • "'FUTURE WHATEVER.'" (Veep, S04E01)
  • "If you call a white guy 'brother,' then he'll give you everything you want." (China, IL, S03E02)
  • "The spirit of Jesus is a man who never touched a booby." (China, IL, S03E02)
  • 50 shades of Gotham (Gotham, S01E19)
  • Norma shooting her phone (Bates Motel, S03E06)
  • Norman in a dress (Bates Motel, S03E06)
  • "We're talking about freedom of speech. It's the amendment so important, it's literally the first one they remembered to add."
    "For white people."
    "With penises."
    "We prefer to be called people without colour or vaginas." (Community, S06E06)
  • "Let's see you type more descriptions of my 'Houseguest-era Sinbad wardrobe.'" (Community, S06E06)
  • All-American Girl, heh (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E12)
  • Face Off Season Grade: D
  • "Sorry, fellas. Want to drink in here, you need a badge or a pair of tits."
    "Art, [sigh] show him your tits." (Justified, S06E13)
  • "You gonna read that book, Tim?"
    "No, Nelson, I'm gonna eat it." (Justified, S06E13)
  • "We dug coal together." (Justified, S06E13)
  • Justified Season Grade: B
  • Joe Torre holding back Will Sasso (The Comedians, S01E02)
  • "I'm just trying to fit in with all these legends and Will Sasso." (The Comedians, S01E02)
  • Pamela nixing the flashback (Louie, S05E02)
  • Bart Folding (Louie, S05E02)
  • Lucas Bros. Moving Co. Season Grade: B-
  • "My dad, when he moved from Rome to Seattle, he literally said, 'The fun part of my life is over.'"
    "Did he happen to say that when you burst out of your mother's vagina as well?"
    "Yes, but I didn't burst out. I was cut out."
    "Straight through the old…"
    "No, they went through her back. Very rare Italian C-section through the back."
    "Oh, through her back. That's interesting. That's how you were conceived." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E13)


Sorry, No Carnitas

You know, I expected more fuss over Mindy Kaling's brother posing as a black person when applying for medical school – the Mindy's brother's project.

In my junior year of college, I realized that I didn't have the grades or test scores to get into medical school, at least not as an Indian-American.

Still, I was determined to become a doctor and I knew that admission standards for certain minorities under affirmative action were, let's say… less stringent?

So, I shaved my head, trimmed my long Indian eyelashes, and applied to medical school as a black man. I even joined the Organization of Black Students.

Bollywood Soul Man!

Vijay the Indian-American frat boy became Jojo the African American Affirmative Action applicant to medical school.

Reverse Urkel.

Jojo is his middle name – Vijay Jojo Chokalingam. (What kind of Indian parents pick Mindy and Jojo as middle names for their children?)

Not everything worked out as planned. Cops harassed me. Store clerks accused me of shoplifting. Women were either scared of me or found my bald power dome very attractive.


Don't you have to list your full name when applying to college? Vijay the African-American?

Rory: Indian father, black mother.

As a child, I was fascinated by John Howard Griffin's Black Like Me.

In retrospect, I'm surprised that anyone thought he was a black person. His facial features are conspicuously off.

Story Idea: While repeating John Howard Griffin's Black Like Me experiment in contemporary America, a white college student is unjustifiably shot and killed by a cop.

Story Idea: Self-made Batman. When a black lad's parents are unjustifiably shot and killed by a cop…

Sitcom Idea: An Indian (feather) man with three sons marries an Indian (dot) woman with three daughters. Set in Indiana.


I can't stop watching this trailer for a documentary film about a disabled wrestling league in Tokyo:

2015 films I must see:
1. The Wolfpack
2. Prince
3. Doglegs

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

15. The Interview (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, 04-05-15)

Honourable Mention

  • Eddie Murphys (New Girl, S04E20)
  • Hallway Fight (Daredevil, S01E02)

Stray Observations

  • "You'd be surprised how many co-eds want it up the butt. Think it preserves their virginity. They call it the 'poophole loophole.'" (Shameless, S05E12)
  • "You make me happy. I'm happy when I'm around you."
    "Happy is overrated. Grow up, Fiona." (Shameless, S05E12)
  • Shameless Season Grade: C
  • "Come back with my shoes, you Latin trickster!" (China, IL, S03E01)
  • "You're gonna have strawberries on your ass." (China, IL, S03E01)
  • "That Turkish guy is an analmal." (China, IL, S03E01)
  • "Life is shit. It's that way for everyone. There's only one thing that makes it better: Boar jerkey." (Bates Motel, S03E05)
  • "Chicago Sunroof" (Better Call Saul, S01E10)
  • "Lucianne, he's not Kevin Costner."
    "What? So who's this guy?"
    "Uhh, not Kevin Costner's manager." (Better Call Saul, S01E10)
  • Better Call Saul Season Grade: B
  • "Where I'm from, you accuse somebody of something, you better have evidence, or he better be a minority." (Community, S06E05)
  • "Air Pippens." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E11)
  • "I'm seeing you through a Pepsi." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E11)
  • "I'm gonna treat myself to a pedicure done by a white lady. That's when you know you've made it." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E11)

Drew Magary (Chopped, S22E09)

  • "They put out your greatest hits, it'd be a double album."
    "Shit, double live, man, from Japan!" (Justified, S06E12)
  • "Jenny here, you gotta leave her firing chamber empty avoiding accidental discharge. Bad news, her chamber is full of promise now." (Justified, S06E12)
  • "Double shit!" (Justified, S06E12)
  • "My life is my own." (Justified, S06E12)
  • "Does the girl twin still live with you?"
    "Not a fan." (Black-ish, S01E19)
  • "Good sauce, though. Murderer!" (Black-ish, S01E19)
  • Workaholics Season Grade: C-
  • Fortitude Season Grade: D+
  • "We are automatically someone else's South America. We are going to be the South America planet of some America planet." (Louie, S05E01)
  • "I think doing stunts is a stupid gimmick, and much like the earth's mantle, it's beneath us." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E12)

(Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E12)

  • "It's freezing this high up. Next time, we're meeting at Per Se." (Daredevil, S01E01)
  • "You should be out having a life, doing poppers and flapper dancing." (Daredevil, S01E02)
  • And Robert Durst as Stick (Daredevil, S01E07)
  • Stone? (Daredevil, S01E07)
  • Vincent D'Onofrio's struggle Mandarin (Daredevil, S01E08)
  • Flaming ninja (Daredevil, S01E09)
  • "I want to look in their eyes when I salt the earth with their blood." (Daredevil, S01E11)
  • Yoo-hoo (Daredevil, S01E11)
  • "Growing to love something is really simply forgetting slowly what you dislike about it." (Daredevil, S01E11)
  • Wesley! (Daredevil, S01E11)
  • Extreme parkour (Daredevil, S01E12)
  • Fisk does not care for cat videos (Daredevil, S01E12)
  • He doesn't have a city, he got family (Daredevil, S01E13)
  • Daredevil Season Grade: B-



In China to donate his kidney to his dying niece, former black-ops agent Deacon awakes the day before the operation to find he is the latest victim of organ theft. Stitched up and pissed-off, Deacon descends from his opulent hotel in search of his stolen kidney and carves a blood-soaked path through the darkest corners of the city. The clock is ticking for his niece and with each step he loses blood. [source]

His OPULENT hotel.

1:49 – "Where's my kidney?"
2:13 – Bible thumping



Will Forte on Bill Burr's podcast:

Bill How did you come up with [The Last Man on Earth]?

Will: We had settled on this other show idea. It was about… Val Kilmer used to, he stayed with me for a while 'cause we became buddies through MacGruber. This is in real life. He was leaving this one place, and wanted to look for another place, so he just needed a place to stay for what I thought was a couple days, and he just couldn't find the right place, so it ended up being several months. So that was what we were gonna write the show about. It was gonna be a partly fact, partly fictional…

Will: While [Val Kilmer] was staying with me, I was watching The Amazing Race. I was really into that show at the time. He thought I was an idiot for watching it, and then I got him fascinated by it, so we, for a short period of time, were planning to try to get on The Amazing Race together.

Val Kilmer should show up in season two of The Last Man on Earth playing himself. Celebrity survivor.

Kane Was There

// Las Vegas, NV

You know how people bemoan that MTV isn't music television anymore, or that History Channel isn't about history anymore? I feel similarly about most of the themed resorts on the Las Vegas Strip. Management has made hot messes of original concepts and designs. I mean, what even is Treasure Island now?

Ye olde Buca di Beppo

Sandwiched between The Cosmopolitan and Bellagio, the Jockey Club is the house in Up.

Considering that The Harmon at CityCenter is STILL being demolished, the carcasses of the unfinished Fontainebleau and Echelon Place resorts may just sit on the north side of the Strip forever, like scenic albatrosses.

The Fashion Show Mall is re-developing again. Remember when a submarine protruded from its facade for that restaurant created by Steven Spielberg?


Submarine to flying saucer to…

Jackie Robinson the basketball player reportedly intends to build a 22,000-seat arena on the Strip beside the Sahara SLS, never mind that MGM is currently building a 20,000-seat arena behind New York-New York. Three arenas within three miles of each other on the same street?

What Vegas needs is a new stadium (cough, Fontainebleau/Echelon Place). Super Bowl on the Strip. WrestleMania. Final Four.

Little Things

  • The seemingly endless stretch of Asian strip malls that is West Spring Mountain Road
  • The combination Panda Express and Chipotle beside Harrah's
  • The store in the Venetian mall that shows video in its windows of Michael Jackson shopping inside on a loop
  • The swanky stand-alone McDonald's outside dumpy Circus Circus
  • The house on the way from the airport to the Strip with a unipole billboard planted in its driveway
  • The hipster-y area neighbouring the east end of the Fremont Street Experience
  • The park created out of shipping containers in said hipster-y area
  • The shipping container treehouse in said park

»  The $7.5 million, 22,000-pound, kinetic chandelier at Omnia nightclub

Today marks the 6th anniversary of The Agony of Defeat.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

14. Partners (Justified, S06E11)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

Bandages, bandages, bandages (The Walking Dead, S05E16)

  • "I could kill you right now." (The Walking Dead, S05E16)
  • Is Rick Grimes gonna have to choke a zombie? (The Walking Dead, S05E16)
  • The Walking Dead Season Grade: C
  • Burst pipe rain (Shameless, S05E11)

(Shameless, S05E11)

  • "You got a hacksaw? Don't worry about it. It gets too messy." (Shameless, S05E11)
  • "Can we talk?"
    "Do you mind if I change into something that's got a little less poo in it?" (The Last Man on Earth, S01E07)

(Bates Motel, S03E04)

  • Norma cruises a coffee shop for a hacker, asks the Asian dude (Bates Motel, S03E04)
  • The immovable overturned announce table (WWE Raw, 03-30-15)
  • "Can't you just stall by doing what real IT people do?"
    "What's that?"
    "Exactly." (Community, S06E04)
  • "Wow, need time to fix it. You sound just like you work in IT." (Community, S06E04)
  • "I make gayness look like Mormonism." (Community, S06E04)
  • "My first love was Dolly Parton. What a butt." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
  • "Boys, show Oscar to the guest bathroom."
    "We have a guest bathroom?"
    [whispering] "The bathroom." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
  • YTMND: "At the airPORT?!?!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E10)
  • "I didn't want to crush his family. That's why I'm at the memorial."
    "Not because it was the right thing to do?"
    "No, no. I mean, we never even went skiing." (New Girl, S04E19)
  • "Check my balls right now. Be purple they so blue." (Justified, S06E11)
  • "I don't even miss it anymore. It's like Circuit City." (Modern Family, S06E19)
  • "I thought you could help me, because…"
    "Because you're not good with words."
    "Well, I'm a doctor. I can't admit I'm not good at something." (Modern Family, S06E19)
  • Maury (Black-ish, S01E18)
  • "If it's a boy, I'm thinking 'Gimli.' If it's a girl…Gimli still works!" (Black-ish, S01E18)
  • How to get her to pee on a stick without knowing (Black-ish, S01E18)
  • "Don't drink the floor smoothie." (Workaholics, S05E12)
  • "I put peyote in the smoothies."
    "Peyote at work?"
    "As Joseph Rogan said, he took peyote before an MMA class and he said it was the bomb diggity."
    "Do NOT make up Joe Rogan quotes! That is NOT okay!"
    "Why did you Joe Rogan us? Why couldn't you just Seth Rogen us? We could've just smoked a bunch of weed." (Workaholics, S05E12)
  • RT: Henry really should be the second generation illegal. That porn stash is better concealed than some dead drops they've used. (The Americans, S03E10)
  • "That's not football; that's dots." (The Americans, S03E10)
  • Henry cluelessly nattering on about "Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood" (The Americans, S03E10)
  • Philip sharpening a knife while Paige eyes Stan (The Americans, S03E10)
  • "She seems like a normal baby weight."
    "Oh yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up and everyone's Kickstarter has merit." (Archer, S06E13)
  • "The sub is too small to track with our current technology."
    "Maybe the CIA should do a Kickstarter." (Archer, S06E13)
  • Archer Season Grade: D+
  • Troy Season Grade: C+
  • RT: Reality show rules:
    -Survivor? Know how to make fire
    -Amazing Race? Drive stick shift
    -Hell's Kitchen? Make scallops & risotto (The Amazing Race, S26E05)
  • "You were in the movie The Dark Knight Rises, where you played Commissioner Gordon-Levitt." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
  • "I didn't realize this movie meant that much to you."
    "It sort of launched my career in a lot of ways. I changed agents and everything afterwards." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
  • "Which outfit do you prefer for our big date tonight: This slinky red dress or this Battletoads costume?" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
  • "Diane, wait, stop! If you step on that plane, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life."
    "Scott, you're too late. I'm stepping on this plane and I'm moving on with my life." – Chekhov's model airplane (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E11)
  • "Kirk Cameron. Alan Thicke calling here. I'm doing an ad in Siberia for horse bacon, and they're wondering if maybe we could get the whole cast of Growing Pains here. What do you think? Horse bacon, yeah. Hey, hey, hey. All of the proceeds will go to Christian ministries. And, uhh, all of the horses they slaughtered are gay. Heathen gay horses, yeah. (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
  • "Satan's Dick Ring." (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E07)
  • The Jack and Triumph Show Season Grade: C+
  • Pheasant calls (Childrens Hospital, S06E02)


Suplex City

A Manson-style cult uses a long-lost Fab Four song to jump-start the zombie Helter Skelter. A popular radio DJ plays the song, inadvertently creating a flesh eating zombie in a walrus costume. [source]

"Free as a Bird" or "Real Love"?

A flesh-eating zombie, as opposed to…?

Why is the revived corpse in a walrus costume?

So that's two horror films involving a walrus costume.

Reality Competition Idea: Chopped, but with short films. Filmmakers must incorporate four mystery ingredients into a short film.

"And you must use: A cult, a Beatles song, a zombie, and a walrus costume."

Idea: A self-serve burritoria. Grab a tortilla, spoon fillings onto it, and then an employee will wrap your burrito and weigh it. $0.33/oz.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

13. She picked a bad time (The Americans, S03E09)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • ♫: Nine Inch Nails – "Somewhat Damaged" (The Walking Dead, S05E15)
  • Running to The Fragile? (The Walking Dead, S05E15)
  • ♫: Elijah and the Moon – "Map and Compass" (Shameless, S05E10)
  • "I have to scrub my junk at the Citgo." (Shameless, S05E10)
  • "Cockblocking Laura Bush." (Shameless, S05E10)
  • "'Ignite the spank'?" (The Last Man on Earth, S01E05)
  • "Hey. I'm Todd." [mariachi music] (The Last Man on Earth, S01E05)
  • "That orgasm was generously provided by Phil Miller." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
  • "Some freakin' fat dude named Todd." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
  • "Big Shankhead here." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
  • "What's your favourite part of Shawshank, Phil?"
    "Uhhh… You know, so many parts, so many parts to choose from and to pick from. Uhh, probably, you know, the part where the Shawshank is redeemed." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
  • "It's hard to trust fats." (The Last Man on Earth, S01E06)
  • ♫: Graham Nash – "Simple Man" (Looking, S02E10)
  • Looking Season Grade: B-

Like father, like daughter (WWE Raw, 03-23-15)

  • Going home with a tug of war? (WWE Raw, 03-23-15)
  • The recurring "James McGill" phone answer gag (Better Call Saul, S01E08)
  • Recycle bin reveal (Better Call Saul, S01E08)
  • ♫: Handsome Boy Modeling School – "The Truth" (Better Call Saul, S01E08)
  • "Those guys, they're nothing. They're the Pistons, and you're the Bulls." (Better Call Saul, S01E08)
  • "Hope is pouting in advance. Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister. Hope is the deformed, attic-bound, incest monster offspring of entitlement and fear." (Community, S06E03)

"Some things are silly and evil, like candy cigarettes. And remember when Flavor Flav had that reality show?"
"I don't own a TV."

(Community, S06E03)

  • ♫: Pharcyde – "Passin' Me By" (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
  • "Maybe she was out of my league, but look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri. If that ashy little nugget could get it, so could I." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
  • "R.I.P. B. Lee." (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)
  • "I like quitters even less than losers. It goes like this: Quitters, losers, cats, Kleenex, Martin Sheen, redheads, croissants, buttons…" (Fresh Off the Boat, S01E09)

(Face Off, S08E11)

  • "Mr. and Mrs. Ofay." (Justified, S06E10)
  • Ava! (Justified, S06E10)
  • "But you called me 'Banjovi.'" (Modern Family, S06E18)
  • "It's a shock, like when we first got high-def TV and I realized Ed Bradley had an earring." (Modern Family, S06E18)
  • "If you're gonna keep playing basketball, I think you really need to play a less intense game, maybe with more Colins and Ethans and less Maliks and Jamals." (Black-ish, S01E17)
  • "In cool, black 40 is the white 25." (Black-ish, S01E17)
  • "In health, black 40 is the white 75." (Black-ish, S01E17)
  • "Yo, [Jermaine Dupri], what's up, man? It's Dre."
    "Yo, Dre, what's up? I sold, like, 250 million records."
    "I need a favour, brother."
    "Man, anything for you. I discovered Bow Wow." (Black-ish, S01E17)
  • JD: "Happy birthday, Dre. You know I danced with Whodini, right? And I'm vegan. Like, no meat. Completely off the dairy." (Black-ish, S01E17)
  • "You are a great man, Mr. Dick Blownoff." (Workaholics, S05E11)
  • "We do improv comedy. It's kinda like Whose Line. A lot of 'yes, and…'"
    "Yes, and…what the hell's Whose Line?"
    "Oh. It's like Wild 'n Out."
    "Okay, well, here's a tip: lead with that. You know, just drop 'Affion Crockett' and people will be with you. Have we seen you in anything?"
    "I've been in some commercials."
    "Ohhh, he's the Captain Obvious guy."
    "That's not me."
    "I know who he is. Dude, you're one of the two Sonic guys! We watch you all the time!"
    "I'm not, that's not me."
    "I thought you were in commercials, man. What the heck? Do you even know Flo?" (Workaholics, S05E11)
  • "I'm a serious actor. I trained under THE Jim Rash." (Workaholics, S05E11)
  • "Okay, FUCK Jim Rash." (Workaholics, S05E11)
  • "TV's Michael Gray." (Archer, S06E12)
  • Morton! (Fortitude, S01E10)
  • "Man, this some bullshit."
    "Don't even sweat it, mate. We'll get these fools on Frasier trivia night. The whole world know I fuck with Niles!" (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
  • "He [Jaleel White] orders Thai food delivery every single night."
    "But why Thai food?"
    "Because Thai food ain't got no cheese." (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
  • "Jaleel White's mind is so beautiful." (Lucas Bros. Moving Co., S02E10)
  • Fat Joey Fatone doing his "Bye Bye Bye" back-up vocals and dance moves (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E06)
  • "How much resentment do you have towards Moe Howard for constantly poking you in the eyes?" (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E06)
  • The Dell dude (The Jack and Triumph Show, S01E06)
  • Erinn Hayes' Aaron Neville (Childrens Hospital, S06E02)
  • "Let me tell you something about this guy: He has herpes!" (Saturday Night Live, S40E16)
  • "Cartwheel up to me!" (Saturday Night Live, S40E16)


Looking forward:

Cherries Waffles Tennis

A Duke and a Renegade in a sequel to a film titled WWJD.

Oh it's a threequel!

So The Woodcarver is Tokyo Drift and John Schneider is Vin Diesel.

Rory: No, The Woodcarver is The Lost World and John Schneider is Sam Neill.

I'm black as the heart of an Aryan

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Parks and Recreation.

Judge Harry Stone = Adam Scott
Dan Fielding = Nick Offerman
Christine Sullivan = Amy Poehler
Bull Shannon = Chris Pratt
Mac Robinson = Aziz Ansari
Roz Russell = Aubrey Plaza

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of The Office.

Harry = Steve Carell
Dan = Rainn Wilson
Christine = Mindy Kaling
Bull = Creed Bratton
Mac = Craig Robinson
Roz = Leslie David Baker

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of 30 Rock.

Harry = Jack McBrayer
Dan = Alec Baldwin
Christine = Tina Fey
Bull = Tracy Morgan
Mac = Scott Adsit
Roz = Judah Friedlander

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Community.

Harry = Jim Rash
Dan = Joel McHale
Christine = Gillian Jacobs
Bull = Danny Pudi
Mac = Donald Glover
Roz = Yvette Nicole Brown

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Seinfeld.

Harry = Jerry Seinfeld
Dan = Jason Alexander
Christine = Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Bull = Michael Richards
Mac = Wayne Knight
Roz = Heidi Swedberg

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Friends.

Harry = David Schwimmer
Dan = Matthew Perry
Christine = Jennifer Aniston
Bull = Matt LeBlanc
Mac = Courteney Cox
Roz = Lisa Kudrow

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Frasier.

Harry = David Hyde Pierce
Dan = Kelsey Grammer
Christine = Jane Leeves
Bull = Dan Butler
Mac = John Mahoney
Roz = Peri Gilpin

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Cheers.

Harry = Ted Danson
Dan = Kelsey Grammer
Christine = Kirstie Alley
Bull = Woody Harrelson
Mac = George Wendt
Roz = Rhea Perlman

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Wings.

Harry = Tim Daly
Dan = Steven Weber
Christine = Crystal Bernard
Bull = Thomas Haden Church
Mac = David Schramm
Roz = Tony Shalhoub

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of ER.

Harry = Anthony Edwards
Dan = George Clooney
Christine = Julianna Margulies
Bull = Abraham Benrubi
Mac = Eriq La Salle
Roz = Laura Innes

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of NewsRadio.

Harry = Dave Foley
Dan = Phil Hartman
Christine = Maura Tierney
Bull = Andy Dick
Mac = Stephen Root
Roz = Khandi Alexander

Idea: A reboot of Night Court starring the cast of Freaks and Geeks.

Harry = Jason Segel
Dan = James Franco
Christine = Linda Cardellini
Bull = Seth Rogen
Mac = Samm Levine
Roz = Martin Starr