30. Routine Maintenance (Utopia, S02E03)
- "Garden of the gods" meal (Food Network Star, S10E08)
- Paul Heyman's promo (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)
Steph's gnarly cleavage (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)
30. Routine Maintenance (Utopia, S02E03)
Steph's gnarly cleavage (WWE Raw, 07-21-14)
2 city blocks, 3 stages of electronic music, 4 bars, and 120 sriracha-infused dishes.
Adam Riff™ presents Pop and Lox Festival. 3 stages of pop music and 120 dishes featuring brined salmon.
Pop and Lox after-party: All-you-can-drink soda plus a performance by The Lox.
Rich Johnson is a charismatic, serial womanizer.
His name is Dick Dick.
After getting caught cheating and ruining another promising relationship, Rich desperately wishes his penis would just leave him alone. Lo and behold, Rich awakes the next morning to discover that his penis has left his body and taken human form as RP (Nick Thune) who moves into his apartment.
RP… Rich's Penis?
Yup. Rich's Penis.
Dick Dick's dick is Dick's Dick.
"SAG OR NON UNION CASTING NOTICE – Caucasian penis."
"Nick Thune, best known as Volchok's peen, died on Saturday night at his home in Los Angeles."
"There's a pretty great lesson hidden in this surprisingly cute little comedy about a guy and his penis not seeing eye to eye." – K.
"The characters are both outrageous and hysterical, everyone from the sassy waiter to the Yoda referencing cop." – Jorrdan Barroso
29. Conan and Dave Franco Join Tinder (Conan, 07-14-14)
(Loiter Squad, S03E10)
// TAIPEI, TAIWAN
I bought a shirt today with Rihanna, Jim Parsons, Sylvester Stallone, Willem Dafoe, and Thom Yorke on it each wearing Batman's cowl.
— Adam Riff™ (@adamriffs) May 26, 2014
"Hey! No photographs!"
I'm not sure if she feared me stealing her "Freakish Pringles" design, or if she feared Pringles seeing a photograph of it on the Internet.
(Shilin Night Market)
I saw this shirt on display outside a store but alas, could not find one inside.
I regret not stopping in to see what jeans for aggressive women look like.
(Shilin Night Market)
The Nazis conduct experiments to bring extinct animals back to life, with the hopes of releasing the creatures into hunting parks for the Aryan people.
I hope it's better than Drug Kingpin Hippos, which was just an excuse for Animal Planet to produce a documentary on Pablo Escobar.
Oh. Hitler's Jurassic Zoo originally aired on American Heroes Channel.
B: Why are you in New York City?
Jon: You flew me out here to maybe co-sign an apartment lease?!
Jon: So I can't leave until Joe resolves his housing situation – until he decides to renew his current lease or passes/fails a credit check for a new apartment. The day after I arrived, however, he left for Texas and hasn't returned since. Oh and his family is visiting from July 23-31, during which time I can't crash at his place but likely can't return home either.
Joe: My friend in Washington, D.C. has a room…
RE: flopping in soccer
If being fouled leads to a direct free kick, why wouldn't you flop and try to draw fouls? Why wouldn't you try to set yourself up to score?
To reduce flopping in soccer, the penalty for a foul should be less enticing – a two-minute power play, perhaps.
» No offside penalties in stoppage time.
» In elimination games, instead of a penalty shoot-out, teams continue playing 15-minute blocks of extra time until one team wins. For every block of extra time, however, each team must remove a player from play. So the first block of extra time is 9 vs. 9, the second, 8 vs. 8, et cetera.
» A yearly FIFA All-Star Game. Two player-captains draft teams from a pool of 44 players that the world votes in. Substitutions are unlimited so that every all-star gets to play.
Well played, Asylum.
28. The Web (Nathan For You, S02E02)
It plays better in context, that context being a "Television Episode of the Year" nominee.
You eediot! (24, S09E10)
anzu / le bouquet / juanita burritos and tacos / woolloomooloo / ningxia night market / vigor kobo / florida bakery / texas rangers fried chicken / shilin night market / hot star large fried chicken / ji pin / bac chocolate world / kyoto teppenyaki / aunt stella's / asto gelato italiano / wendel's german bakery / pregame / flavors / tonghua night market / ireland's potato / macho tacos / whalen's / mister donut / snow king / yi yuan peking cuisine / ed's diner / 89 seafood / lian xiang zhai / raohe night market / zhua bing stand (yongkang st) / ben teppan grill / din tai fung
Juanita Burritos and Tacos is a Chipotle rip-off decorated with Star Wars pop art.
"Original Mexican sauce"?
"We pride ourselves on our lettuce."
Unlike other night markets in Taipei, the Ningxia Night Market is all food – eel noodles, rice with pig's feet, small intestine in large intestine, pork rib stewed in Chinese medicine…
A deep-fried doughnut-like roll, sliced open, slathered with mayonnaise, and stuffed with some ham, some hard-boiled egg, some tomato, and some cucumber.
They are repulsively delicious.
BAC (Black As Chocolate) Chocolate World is a café where every dish contains some form of chocolate.
• Pan fried salmon marinated in cocoa salt and cocoa gin
• A pastrami sandwich with dark chocolate bread
• A fried seafood platter served with white chocolate yuzu dip and cocoa pineapple salsa
As I departed, my waitress ran out to return the tip I had left and would not let me go until I accepted my tip back.
Lian Xiang Zhai is a swanky vegetarian buffet known for its Buddhist monk clientele, chocolate fountain, and all-you-can-eat Häagen-Dazs ice cream.
Vegetarian fish remains dire. This buffet's vegetarian sashimi looks like sashimi, but eats like gelatinous nothing, and its cooked vegetarian fish is awfully rubbery.
Tonghua Night Market
"Boss level of delicious."
"American BBQ." Good pulled pork sandwich, satisfactory beef brisket.
A Canadian diner. Good Montreal smoked meat sandwich, weak classic poutine.
"Authentic Mexican food," including fish tacos.
Also on the menu: Spicy Jambalaya Creole.
Swedish chef marries Taiwanese woman, opens Swedish restaurant in Taipei.
Taiwanese-Australian architect opens combination restaurant/market/event space in Taipei. Not surprisingly, the design of his complex is very cool.
The climate in Taiwan is tropical/sub-tropical; cold and/or fruity drinks are popular in Taiwan; and 7-Elevens are ubiquitous in Taiwan, yet 7-Elevens in Taiwan don't sell Slurpees. Seems like a missed opportunity.
Taiwanese people will add milk to anything.
Snow King is an ice creamery that offers salty flavours for diabetics.
I tried its pork knuckle (ham hock) flavour with bits of pig skin mixed in, and its pork floss flavour. Both tasted like salty peanut soup.
According to Google Translate, Asto gelateria's flavour offerings include: Latina Passion, Black Beauty, and Pikachu.
I tried its wax apple flavour.
Shilin Night Market
Taipei's most famous night market is a fuckin' labyrinth.
I couldn't find this place selling "intestinal wang duck blood tofu" and "cod chin."
However, I did find A Piece of Gayke and its infamous "todger waffles."
A deep-fried slice of Texas toast, carved open on one side, filled with various stuff, and lidded shut. The one I tried at the Shilin Night Market contained shrimp and pineapple on a bed of shredded cabbage smothered in a mysterious chowder.
Raohe Night Market
At the Raohe Night Market, I happened upon a stand selling half-size coffin bread. Among its filling options: chocolate custard, and…
Lobster salad with Doritos. Pictured: An open casket, heh.
Corn dogs coiled in cheese and fries.
Ireland's Potato is a fast food chain in Asia. Its main selling point is that Irish people are quite literally crazy about potatoes, and so the rest of the world should be too.
89 Seafood is known for its massive Hokkaido king crabs.
I watched one poor crab keep getting pulled out of its tank for photographs.
Ben Teppan Grill
Longest teppenyaki meal ever – after which you are escorted to a lounge for dessert.
In the waiting area: An encased basketball autographed by Jeremy Lin.
Did they know that Jeremy Lin was coming and buy a basketball in advance for him to autograph, or did they run out and buy a basketball while he was eating?
Pregame imports red Solo cups for authenticity.
Just when I thought I was out…
Jon: You replaced your front lawn with fake grass?
B: And back lawn. I'm tired of paying to maintain them. I mean, when was the last time you used your front lawn?
Jon: Just earlier today. I, uhh, cut across it to reach my front door quicker.
Jon: Do fake lawns affect property value?
B: Not when you live near the Googleplex.
Rory: What would you say was Grand Royal's biggest non-Beastie Boys LP release: Fever In Fever Out by Luscious Jackson or Relationship of Command by At the Drive-In?
Jon: Pfff! Relationship of Command. No contest.
Dan: You're overlooking Atari Teenage Riot.
Rory: Said no one ever.
Rory: Okay, Nothing Records' biggest non-Nine Inch Nails LP release.
Jon: Biggest: Antichrist Superstar by Marilyn Manson. Best: Mechanical Animals.
Jon: Maverick Records' greatest hits album:
1. Paul Oakenfold – "Ready Steady Go"
2. Michelle Branch – "All You Wanted"
3. The Rentals – "Friends of P."
4. Deftones – "Change (in the House of Flies)"
5. Jack's Mannequin – "Dark Blue"
6. Madonna – "Music"
7. Candlebox – "Far Behind"
8. Meshell Ndegeocello – "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)"
9. The Prodigy – "Breathe"
10. Greyson Chance – "Waiting Outside the Lines"
11. Alanis Morissette – "Ironic"
12. Story of the Year – "Until the Day I Die"
Rory: Aftermath's greatest hits album: Curtain Call: The Hits by Eminem.
27. Exorcisms (Nathan For You, S02E01)
(The Leftovers, S01E01)
"Mark, pleeease!" (24, S09E10)
(Nathan For You, S02E01)
Yahoo!, of all places, closed a deal for a 13-episode sixth season of the cult NBC comedy Community. [source]
Due to a reduced budget, Britta, Annie, Shirley, and Star-Burns are all played by Tatiana Maslany.
Troy returns to Greendale, but is actually a cyborg assassin sent back in time to kill Abed and prevent him from becoming Evil Abed and darkening the prime timeline. Aaron Paul guest stars as a soldier sent back in time to protect Abed.
An episode of the original British Community.
Being Dan Harmon – The group finds a portal into Dan Harmon's mind (where they discover that their lives are scripted?).
The group plays The Big Bang Theory CLUE.
This episode (606) is a palindrome.
The previous five seasons from the perspective of two background Greendale students, à la Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
An interactive "choose your own adventure" episode.
What if Greendale was a massive luxury liner called "Titanic"?
The group helps Abed make his senior project: a Deadwood movie (series finale).
In the mid-20th century, the Chinese government simplified Chinese characters to increase literacy.
Problem is, Hong Kong and Taiwan continue to teach traditional Chinese characters exclusively.
In Chinese classes in college, I could choose which version of Chinese characters I wanted to use, but I was expected to be able to read both versions.
I have come to accept misspellings of "you're" and contractions without apostrophes as simplified English.
It's not surprising that you're gay.
Its not surprising that your gay.
I'm through being dismayed. At least they're writing, right?
Jon: Disney's Planes: Fire and Rescue?
Rory: The first one is rubbish.
Jon: You saw it?!
Rory: I thought it was a Pixar film!
Jon: Heh. Planes mistaken for Cars.
Toby on Degrassi and Rusty on Greek —
Now I'm picturing Christopher Castile listening to La Dispute while grading papers.
26. Red Wedding 2 (24, S09E09)
(Loiter Squad, S03E07)
We declined our second-year option on Ray Donovan.
Fox changed its graphics for MLB telecasts this season and now I can't watch Fox MLB telecasts because all I see is the score bug's tabbed gap, which irritates me to no end.
I just want to reach into the screen and squeeze the two boxes together.
I'm not fond of the typeface for the pitcher's surname either. It looks particularly hideous when a pitcher has a long surname.
ESPN changed its graphics for SportsCenter this week.
I find Bristol's new hotness both too basic and not minimalist enough.
My all-time favourite use of Helvetica on television is the graphics for MTV's Sports and Music Festival 2.
We made up an imaginary scientific facility where odd hybrids and mutant machines were being created, and designed around that concept. The stark white empty graphics tried to go in the opposite direction of how "extreme" sports are usually packaged. [source]
With music by the Dust Brothers!