Just when I thought I was out…
Just when I thought I was out…
Jon: You replaced your front lawn with fake grass?
B: And back lawn. I'm tired of paying to maintain them. I mean, when was the last time you used your front lawn?
Jon: Just earlier today. I, uhh, cut across it to reach my front door quicker.
Jon: Do fake lawns affect property value?
B: Not when you live near the Googleplex.
Rory: What would you say was Grand Royal's biggest non-Beastie Boys LP release: Fever In Fever Out by Luscious Jackson or Relationship of Command by At the Drive-In?
Jon: Pfff! Relationship of Command. No contest.
Dan: You're overlooking Atari Teenage Riot.
Rory: Said no one ever.
Rory: Okay, Nothing Records' biggest non-Nine Inch Nails LP release.
Jon: Biggest: Antichrist Superstar by Marilyn Manson. Best: Mechanical Animals.
Jon: Maverick Records' greatest hits album:
1. Paul Oakenfold – "Ready Steady Go"
2. Michelle Branch – "All You Wanted"
3. The Rentals – "Friends of P."
4. Deftones – "Change (in the House of Flies)"
5. Jack's Mannequin – "Dark Blue"
6. Madonna – "Music"
7. Candlebox – "Far Behind"
8. Meshell Ndegeocello – "If That's Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)"
9. The Prodigy – "Breathe"
10. Greyson Chance – "Waiting Outside the Lines"
11. Alanis Morissette – "Ironic"
12. Story of the Year – "Until the Day I Die"
Rory: Aftermath's greatest hits album: Curtain Call: The Hits by Eminem.
27. Exorcisms (Nathan For You, S02E01)
(The Leftovers, S01E01)
"Mark, pleeease!" (24, S09E10)
(Nathan For You, S02E01)
Yahoo!, of all places, closed a deal for a 13-episode sixth season of the cult NBC comedy Community. [source]
Due to a reduced budget, Britta, Annie, Shirley, and Star-Burns are all played by Tatiana Maslany.
Troy returns to Greendale, but is actually a cyborg assassin sent back in time to kill Abed and prevent him from becoming Evil Abed and darkening the prime timeline. Aaron Paul guest stars as a soldier sent back in time to protect Abed.
An episode of the original British Community.
Being Dan Harmon – The group finds a portal into Dan Harmon's mind (where they discover that their lives are scripted?).
The group plays The Big Bang Theory CLUE.
This episode (606) is a palindrome.
The previous five seasons from the perspective of two background Greendale students, à la Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead.
An interactive "choose your own adventure" episode.
What if Greendale was a massive luxury liner called "Titanic"?
The group helps Abed make his senior project: a Deadwood movie (series finale).
In the mid-20th century, the Chinese government simplified Chinese characters to increase literacy.
Problem is, Hong Kong and Taiwan continue to teach traditional Chinese characters exclusively.
In Chinese classes in college, I could choose which version of Chinese characters I wanted to use, but I was expected to be able to read both versions.
I have come to accept misspellings of "you're" and contractions without apostrophes as simplified English.
It's not surprising that you're gay.
Its not surprising that your gay.
I'm through being dismayed. At least they're writing, right?
Jon: Disney's Planes: Fire and Rescue?
Rory: The first one is rubbish.
Jon: You saw it?!
Rory: I thought it was a Pixar film!
Jon: Heh. Planes mistaken for Cars.
Toby on Degrassi and Rusty on Greek —
Now I'm picturing Christopher Castile listening to La Dispute while grading papers.
26. Red Wedding 2 (24, S09E09)
(Loiter Squad, S03E07)
We declined our second-year option on Ray Donovan.
Fox changed its graphics for MLB telecasts this season and now I can't watch Fox MLB telecasts because all I see is the score bug's tabbed gap, which irritates me to no end.
I just want to reach into the screen and squeeze the two boxes together.
I'm not fond of the typeface for the pitcher's surname either. It looks particularly hideous when a pitcher has a long surname.
ESPN changed its graphics for SportsCenter this week.
I find Bristol's new hotness both too basic and not minimalist enough.
My all-time favourite use of Helvetica on television is the graphics for MTV's Sports and Music Festival 2.
We made up an imaginary scientific facility where odd hybrids and mutant machines were being created, and designed around that concept. The stark white empty graphics tried to go in the opposite direction of how "extreme" sports are usually packaged. [source]
With music by the Dust Brothers!
I've decided that Reggie Watts should play Larvelle Jones in Key and Peele's reboot of Police Academy.
Evidently, we weren't made to last.
The '00s: Meg Griffin.
The '00s: The Afterdecade.
The '00s: Talking Decades Past.
The '00s: FAKE!
Idea: A remake of the film Stay Tuned in which two YouTube commenters find themselves trapped inside HellTube, a nightmarish alternative universe run by Satan.
related: Stay Tuned 2 fan fic!
The role of a lifetime.
Nintendo should add Sonic the Hedgehog to Mario Kart 9 and include a track inspired by the half-pipe special stages in Sonic 2.
Reggie Watts as Cadet Larvell Jones
Adam Brody as Cadet Carey Mahoney
Mischa Barton as Cadet Karen Thompson
Ben McKenzie as Cadet Eugene Tackleberry
Melinda Clarke as Sergeant Debbie Callahan
Tate Donovan as Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris
Alan Dale as Commandant Eric Lassard
I can't stop watching this supercut of Chairman Kaga announcing secret ingredients on Iron Chef:
How do I change my ringtone to "CAAABBAAAGE!!!"?
Did you know that Iron Chef Vietnam exists, as does The Next Iron Chef Vietnam?
The bootleggers are winning.
Top 10 lines from Rolling Stone's article on hipster neo-Nazis in Germany
10. He notes, with some resignation, that there is no German word for "hashtag."
9. They pull into the parking lot of a local Ernest Hemingway-themed restaurant and walk into a room crowded with people watching a soccer game.
8. "We've taken over the nipster," he says, giddily, before catching himself. "I mean nationalist hipster, not Nazi hipster."
7. In February, Tim and Kevin started Balaclava Kueche, Germany's first Nazi vegan cooking show.
6. There is now neo-Nazi techno (biggest act: DJ Adolf) and neo-Nazi reggae.
5. Knape is especially proud of his viral-video outreach: last year, his group filmed a "Harlem Shake" video.
4. Such is life as a nipster these days.
3. He also agrees that the Nazi Tumblr style has gotten "more youthful" and "looser."
2. He organizes an annual Live H8 concert, a gathering of neo-Nazi bands that he hopes will "help the mainstreaming of our music" and become "the most extreme Nazi concert" around.
1. He won't elaborate, for legal reasons, but he'll happily share his strong feelings about the series finale of How I Met Your Mother ("The mother dying was a good reminder that the world isn't a great place").
Rory: How did they do that?
Jon: The fire is computer-generated.
Rory: So he just flailed around…?
Rory: Heh. Visual effects artist: "You want me to do WHAT?"
Jon: Wife of visual effects artist: "How was work today?"
My Brother: Can you give me a ride to the airport tomorrow?
Jon: What time is your flight?
My Brother: 5:30PM.
Ugh. Rush hour.
Jon: Where are you going?
My Brother: New York City.
At 5:30PM PT? What a stupid flight. You arrive at, what, 2:00AM?
Rory: Trivia: "This is the first independent British action film in history to feature not only an all star Hollywood cast list but also dynamic and complex fight sequences." Ah so…
My Mother: Jon, I need your help.
My Mother: My friend is visiting from Taiwan and wants to know where she can buy Ed Hardy gear.
25. Brienne of Tarth vs. The Hound (Game of Thrones, S04E10)
It's HBO, so "embedding disabled by request."
RT: "It was Billy's idea that Gus shoots him and he appears to be dead and then he sits up with that grimace and smile with the bloody teeth. That was Billy's desire to do it that way" (Fargo, S01E10)
Bad CGI (Orange Is the New Black, S02E03)
le petit cochon / pie bar / crumble and flake / six arms / top pot doughnuts / olympia pizza III / now make me a sandwich / pie / kedai makan / lost lake / roux / hot cakes / king's hardware / americana / the stumbling monk / ivar's
Previously on Adam Riff™:
PB&J Bread Pudding (Miller's Guild)
house made donut with raspberry sauce and vanilla ice cream
PB&J Jalapeno Poppers (Shelter Lounge)
panko breaded jalapeno peppers stuffed with cream cheese and peanut butter. served with a sweet, spicy jelly
Le Petit Cochon is a nose-to-tail restaurant located in an office building. Its website is gettinpiggy.com.
Crispy Duck Feet
chili lime, cilantro yogurt
Tempura Corn Bellies (corn dogs made of pork belly)
ancho honey mustard, pickled leek slaw
Blood and Foie (pictured: the summer version with pecan nutella and a challah crouton)
blood sausage country pate, foie torchon, pear butter, pickled mustard seed vin
Foie Gras Hot Chocolate
donut fritters, pecan butter, rockslamic reduction
Chocolate Pecan Pie (Pie Bar)
whole pecans, pecan pieces, dark chocolate, brown sugar, butter
I effort to try a chocolate pecan pie in every city I visit. This one is aces.
Desserted Island Pie (Pie Bar)
strawberries, raspberries, marionberries, granny smith apples, streusel
…as is this pie.
Blackberry Key Lime Pie (Pie)
Another stupendous pie.
Thanksgetting Sandwich (Now Make Me a Sandwich)
sliced turkey, bacon, cranberry sauce, stuffing, gravy, and rosemary aioli on a grilled telera roll
I'm a little surprised that Seattle-ites allow a food truck named "Now Make Me a Sandwich" to exist.
Crumble and Flake has odd, limited hours, but GOTTDAMN are its pastries worth pursuing.
Smoked Paprika and Cheddar Croissant (Crumble and Flake)
spanish smoked paprika and cheddar cheese inside and out
Pistachio Croissant (Crumble and Flake)
a buttery croissant, split open and brushed with orange flower syrup, then filled and topped with rich pistachio cream
Lemon and Blueberry Macaron (Crumble and Flake)
Mint Julep Macaron (Crumble and Flake)
Milk Chocolate and Cherry Macaron (Crumble and Flake)
Crumble and Flake, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity.
Hot Cakes is known for its molten chocolate cake in a mason jar, but I opted for its
Grilled Chocolate Sandwich (Hot Cakes)
potato bread, dark chocolate ganache, caramel dipping sauce
as I am a big fan of chocolate combined with bread.
Close Encounters of the Food Kind S04E02: Jon happy-hours with Matt and Tina at King's Hardware in Ballard (April 2014)
Matt: $5 for a can of Hamm's and a cheeseburger – HOW do you say no to that?!
Tina: We are happy hour fiends.
Duck Confit Nachos (Americana)
tomatoes, scallions, saint andre cheese sauce
The cheese sauce is hella addictive.
Wikipedia: The fat content of Saint-andré is exceptionally high (about 75%).
Chicken Andouille Sausage Corndogs (Americana)
Pecan Chocolate Croissant (Crumble and Flake)
a chocolate croissant, brushed with coffee syrup, filled and topped with pecan cream, and baked again until toasty and crisp
Smoked Gouda Tater Tots (Americana)
Breakfast Skyline chili! BEER BATTERED SLICE OF PIZZA! (Nacho Borracho)
Sons Of Anarchy – Every Single Hug
"You Will Never Be Able to Unsee This Guy's INSANE Bathing Suit"
Reality Show Idea: Sweat Lodge. 20 people, one house, summer time in New Orleans, no pool, no fans, no cold water from any faucet – and one window air conditioner up for grabs.
#Selfie is a 2014 Romanian teen film, not to be confused with "#SELFIE" the 2014 song, Selfie the 2014 sitcom, Selfie the 2014 book, or Selfie: The Video Game, one of three selfie-inspired creations at Global Game Jam 2014.
IMDb lists seven films titled Selfie, six of which are dated (2014), and two others of which are stylized #Selfie.
Idea: The Selfies of Dorian Gray. Dorian Gray grows aged and corrupt in selfies while continuing to appear fresh and innocent in person.
the general muir / pie shop / illegal food / the food shoppe / victory sandwich bar / fox bros. bar-b-q / gunshow / bell street burritos / crave pie studio / blue fin sushi / local republic / blue rooster bake shop and eatery / golden house / one flew south
The General Muir is a Jewish deli located across the street from the Center for Disease Control.
Avenue A Open Faced Bagel (The General Muir)
nova, schmear, avocado, grapefruit, cucumber, onion, dill
Smoked Hash (The General Muir)
crisped pastrami, potatoes, cabbage, peppers, caramelized onions, sunny eggs
Blueberry Ginger Kugel (The General Muir)
Illegal Food is the kitchen of an arcade bar.
Hand-Cut Double-Fried Okonomiyaki Style Fries (Illegal Food)
japanese mayo, okonomi sauce, fermented chili sauce, bonito flakes, shredded nori, green onion, sesame seed, beni shõga
I did not care for the okonomiyaki toppings, but the fries are quality.
Hand-Cut Double-Fried French Onion Dip Fries (Illegal Food)
Hand-Cut Double-Fried Sriracha Honey Fries (Illegal Food)
(Victory Sandwich Bar)
I couldn't decide among the Jack and Coke Slushie, Jackyl Juice, and Root Canal, so I ordered all three.
Bell Street Burritos' soda fountain dispenses Cheerwine!
Coca-Cola Chess Pie (Pie Shop)
Chocolate Pecan Pie (Fox Bros. Bar-B-Q)
I effort to try a chocolate pecan pie in every city I visit. This one is pretty good and served with cinnamon-flavoured whipped cream.
Gunshow is Top Chef fan favourite Kevin Gillespie's dim sum concept. You accept or pass on dishes circulated by the chef who cooked the food.
the menu for the day I visited
The special that day was West Coast Burger, a fancy In-N-Out animal style Double-Double.
Key Lime Pie Taken Apart and Put Back Together (Gunshow)
Best pie I ate in Atlanta.
Mr. Jones Burger (Local Republic)
pimento cheese, jalapeno, bacon
Taco Bell should add pimento cheese to its ingredients. Imagine: a pimento loco taco, a pimento quesadilla, pimento nachos…
Pizza Hut pimento stuffed crust.
Please, Waffle House, update your logo. I implore you. It's painful to look at.
One Flew South is regarded as one of the best airport restaurants in America.
While I only tried its
Pulled Duck Sandwich (One Flew South)
duck confit, fig and toasted peanut relish, scallions, slaw
I believe the hype.
Chef's Breakfast (One Eared Stag)
four small portions of whatever the kitchen is feeling artfully arranged on a shiny silver tray with a can of schlitz
Gobbler Sandwich (Muss and Turner's)
roasted turkey, ritz cracker stuffing, lingonberry coulis, thyme aioli, french bun
Churro Bread Pudding (Takorea)
hot chocolate sauce
Krispy Kreme Milkshake (FLIP Burger Boutique)
Foie Gras Milkshake (FLIP Burger Boutique)
Jalapeño Cherry Pie with Bacon Streusel (Crave Pie Studio)
Pineapple Habanero Pie with Coconut Macadamia Crumb (Crave Pie Studio)
$9 All-You-Can-Eat Pie Bar (Sway)
If you can't tell, I am obsessed with pie.
24. Nosebleed (Veep, S03E09)
Naked Eva Green humping air (Penny Dreadful, S01E05)
Extras (24, S09E07)
(Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E06)
Oh I need a Breeze card for a day pass?
Oh. I need a Breeze card for any rail fare.
I need a second wallet just for public transportation cards is what I need.
"This is a 2014 SmarTrip card, mint condition."
Oh, there's another Peachtree Street. Parallel Peachtree Streets?!
Wikipedia: There are 71 streets in Atlanta with a variant of "Peachtree" in their name.
They're like George Foreman's kids.
Midtown MARTA Station
"Excuse me. I live in Augusta, and my car was booted…"
A single fare is $2.50. I give him $3.00.
"A Breeze card is $1.00…"
I glare at him.
"It's okay. I'll get $0.50 from someone else."
In retrospect, MARTA rail doesn't even travel to tourist attractions in Atlanta, let alone the Georgia/South Carolina border.
Jackson St SE
On my way to dinner, I encounter a man standing on a street corner shooting the breeze with someone on his mobile.
"Hold on. [to me] Excuse me. Can you help me out with rail fare?"
The nearest station is half a mile away. I give him $1.00. He resumes shooting breeze.
Peachtree St NE
On my way back to my hotel, I pass a young man chilling on a sidewalk.
"Ey yo, girl."
Wait, was he cat-calling me (not asking for money)? He…mistook me for a girl with a shaved head?
I was in Atlanta for my cousin Emily's wedding, cousin 17 of 18. KCAL9's Leyna Nguyen gave the first toast. She used to babysit the groom.
The DJ at my cousin's wedding is wearing a fedora. Good sign.
— Adam Riff™ (@adamriffs) June 8, 2014
Oh no… He's donning on an afro wig and shiny silver jacket.