my absence

been a while since i put something on the walls here.

you'll never guess why.

my room mate was dating a complete lunatic girl.

she saw me as a threat to her ability to secure a future with him.

she ground up a bunch of pills, and put them in my food, which in turn poisoned me, and left me quite ill, and very high for about four days.

i wish i was kidding.

i stashed all of my expensive computing stuff and electronics, as well as important documents at a friend's house, until i felt it was safe to have them back in MY house.

i changed the locks, and she scratched my car.

i wish i was kidding.



jon – i hate you/

i am being haunted by this song.

i was at a "hard rock cafe" this week, (client insisted), and there was a girl singing a bunch of pop songs. the one that she butchered the most was "viva la vida" by coldplay," in a horrible falsetto, for some reason

and then there is this  :

viva la viral

i need susan powter by my side right now.

i got the trees on my mirror, so my car don't smell

i recently bought my first vehicle.

i am a late bloomer.

my father said to me "i didn't think that you were EVER going to drive," which is slightly unnerving, and makes me think that he looked at me as some sort of failure….

anyway – it is an older vehicle, and doesn't have a cd player, or mp3 abilities.

so i am limited to cassettes or radio. any of you punks know what a cassette is?

thankfully, i am a bit of a pack rat, and still have a massive collection of cassettes lying around my house, (i was hoping to convert all of them to mp3's one day, since a lot of the artists just aren't available in ANY form anymore).

i used to be a rapper-kid, and the ONLY thin i listened to was rap. in fact, my motto used to be "not rap? it's crap!"

here are the cassettes that i am still proud to own :

kool g. rap & polo – road to the riches (genius album)

beastie boys – licensed to ill, and paul's boutique (which came in 5 different colours)

run dmc – raising hell, and tougher than leather

there are other, but those are the super-important ones, (in terms of rap history), and ones that still don't seem to be too tired.

these ones make me wonder WTF was i thinking :

HDV – sex, drugs & violence (a lyric from his famous song "pimp of the microphone" is this : "i pimp the microphone like a pimp pimp's a prostitute". thanks for clearing that up for us. i wasn't clear on what you meant until you explained it).

fat boys – this is just embarrassing that i own ANYTHING by them, nevermind their full discography. on cassette. all they seem to rap about is eating and farting. "i eat some beans, and very soon, every body in the place would just leave the room. and for some reason i can't reveal, so pass a banana, so i can peel".

the list goes on…..

long time listener, first time caller

i have been hanging around this place for quite a while, and (strangely enough), these guys have managed to find me no matter where i have set up some poor excuse for a website.

not because they were looking for me, but (i suspect), because they were just randomly wandering around the series of tubes, and looking at the same things that i was.

anyway, nice to be here, blahblahblah…..

rather than try and be all bombastic and "wow factor" with my first post, i thought that perhaps you might like to have a look at the question that i believe is quite possibly the dumbest question EVER asked in the english language :

"do these elevators go UP or DOWN?"

slightly stunned from the stupidity, i responded with "well i really suppose it all depends on which floor you are on"… not entirely sure why he asked me – i was just another person in the same hotel as him.

shortly after that, (exact same day), i was asked a question that would make the first guy look like an intellectual colussus :

"do you happen to know where the "2nd floor meeting rooms" are?"

how am i supposed to answer that without sounding like a complete asshole?

pretty sure i was on candid camera that day…………….. and i am pretty that those two guys have difficulty remembering to breathe.

i hate people.