Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

2. Pop Cipher (The Magicians, S03E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Leroy, listen, I have to tell you something. No one's ever called me 'James Woods.'"
    "I'm confused. I was under the impression they called you 'James Woods' based on your love of the woods." (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • "What's his name?"
    "Leave."
    "As in…Schreiber?" (Ghosted, S01E09)
  • Fred Armisen singing along to "I Try" by Macy Gray while a human head microwaves in the background (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • Martin Short (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "It's like Matisse mixed with Shakespeare with just a liiittle Rhea Perlman on top." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E09)
  • "I would much rather be tired than poor." (Shark Tank, S09E15)
  • Braun Strowman trying to murder Brock Lesnar and Kane with a grappling hook (WWE Raw, 01-08-18)
  • "[You're the] old lace to my arsenic." (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • ♫ Francis and the Lights – "Friends [feat. Bon Iver]" (Marvel's Runaways, S01E10)
  • Marvel's Runaways Season Grade: C
  • "British men are basically American women." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "Personal hero? Latinos. They've been through so mucho." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "I just don't understand, Ronnie. We spoke every day. There was flirting and chemistry and suggestive emojis."
    "That wasn't suggestive. I really was washing an eggplant." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "'YOLO.' So true." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "We both agreed Billings was a mistake." (LA to Vegas, S01E02)
  • "A 'u up?' text might as well be a Chris Brown song." (Grown-ish, S01E03)
  • "Watching you talk to hot girls is like watching a white person try to explain why all lives matter." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "You're a talking penis!"
    "Everybody here thinks you're a talking penis." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Why don't you just try to find something, like, more in your wheelhouse? Have you thought about, like, being a notary or something?" (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "What's up with that shirt? You sitting shiva?"
    "I taught him Jewish stuff." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I haven't done under-the-pants stuff with a girl since my ska band broke up." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "I'm glad the job's working out."
    "Yeah, I love it. I've been getting tons of free clothes, but I always get free clothing."
    "Yeah, I have older siblings too." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "Hannah Montana Esther is dead. Welcome to Miley." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "The old guy I met online who paid me to eat macaroni wearing sweatpants turned out to be a total creep." (Alone Together, S01E01)
  • "How long does a quest like this take?"
    "A good…season. (The Magicians, S03E01)
  • "Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you didn't get your start in television until were 40. And Mary-Kelly, I know from your autobiography that you had sex with Wee Man." (Great News, S02E11)
  • "I'm just finishing an e-mail that I will have sent 100 years ago." (Great News, S02E11)
  • Bill Murray as Steve Bannon (Saturday Night Live, S43E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

Year nine.


1. Dan Le Batard vomits on air from Stugotz eating photo (The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz, 01-04-18)


Stray Observations

  • "I'm a walking medical disaster, Frank."
    "Well, that's why God invented Canada." (Shameless, S08E08)
  • "Do you think it's weird that all the girls you've liked have been white?"
    "But that's different. See, that's not a preference. That's just what's around." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E11)
  • "Black Jesus, please guide my hand to the nougat." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "Let me let you in on a little secret: Rules are for ugly people." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "I hate to say this, but it sounds like you got yourself an 'urb.' An unruly bitch." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "You were in a band?"
    "Yeah. The Johnson Five. I was the most talented, and the most troubled. That's why I died so young." (Black-ish, S04E10)
  • "For the new trick, Pascal the Magnificent wants to make me disappear and then reappear in Jerusalem. But I don't know. I don't like hummus." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "He's not a Saudi prince. He's just a Mexican with a pet falcon." (LA to Vegas, S01E01)
  • "It's not a bottle opener, you caveman, it's a piece of art."
    "No, that's a bottle-opening scrotum." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • Jennie Garth (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Television is the lowest form of art, okay? It's a rung below macaroni jewelry." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "What a Brenda, right?" (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "People don't get a lot of cool stuff. Right? Like uni and, uh, John Cougar Mellencamp." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Okay, we got to figure out something, because I am going to that gala or I am getting my thermos signed." (The Mick, S02E10)
  • "Hot tip: Most of the young, eligible, Jewish guys hang out right over there. We call that area 'Little Boca.'" (Grown-ish, S01E01)
  • "Oh, hey, Taylor. You got any questions for the Pustule Brothers?" (Speechless, S02E11)
  • "Actually, I think Kenneth wants to…
    "Strip with teens? Oh, no, he doesn't." (Speechless, S02E11)


(9-1-1, S01E01)


(9-1-1, S01E01)

  • "That was 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd. Coming up next: 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.'" (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "We're about to close it down with one last song: 'She Hates Me' by Puddle of Mudd and 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' played at the same time." (The Good Place, S02E08)
  • "Surprise!"
    "Ah! Tiny Dunkirk!" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "He gave me a gift I can never repay: A $25 gift card to Coconuts." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Chuck? Oh, no, are you the new Hedwig? I told you you don't have the chops." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Please help me, Portia. I'll give you anything. How about a $25 gift card to Coconuts?" (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Still with us, Bo Jefferson, fiscally conservative van resident. And on the liberal side, daniel with a lowercase D." (Great News, S02E10)
  • "Do you think it's gonna explode?"
    "It's not a film. [If this was a film, we'd probably be American.]" (The End of the Fucking World, S01E02)
  • The End of the Fucking World Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clips of the Year

1. Top Chef
2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
3. Portlandia
4. The Young Pope
5. The Young Pope
6. Powerless
7. The Young Pope
8. WWE Raw
9. Homeland
10. Legion
11. The Walking Dead
12. Legion
13. Nirvanna the Band the Show
14. Bates Motel
15. The Amazing Race
16. WWE Raw
17. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
18. The Leftovers
19. American Gods
20. American Gods
21. Fargo
22. Neon Joe: Werewolf Hunter
23. Twin Peaks
24. Fargo
25. The Trip [to Spain]
26. Claws
26. Claws
27. WWE Raw
28. Tour de Pharmacy
29. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
30. Twin Peaks
31.
Insecure
32. WWE SmackDown LIVE
33. Game of Thrones
34. Claws
35. Twin Peaks
36. WWE Raw
37. Twin Peaks
38. American Vandal
39. Nathan For You: A Celebration
40. Nathan For You
41. Black-ish
42. Nathan For You
43. Big Mouth
44. American Horror Story
45. Wendy
46. Vice Principals / Nathan For You [tie]
47. Nirvanna the Band the Show
48. Future Man
49. The Walking Dead
50. Desus and Mero
51. Jean-Claude Van Johnson
52. Desus and Mero


Stray Observations

  • "It'll be like those two girls' night out movies that came out at the same time, only ours will be as good as the black one." (Great News, S02E09)
  • "Did I look thin? Hmm? Like, wheatgrass yogurt thin?" (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "Stealing my pussy is a red fucking line." (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "King of space right here." (Black Mirror, S04E01)
  • "Okay, I added the boner." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "We didn't have that whole immersive VR environment shizzle back then." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "Monkey just needs a minute to get used to how things are gonna be." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • "Are you gonna be a good toy?"
    "Monkey loves you."
    "You better." (Black Mirror, S04E06)
  • Black Mirror Season Grade: C+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You


2017 AR™TV World Drama Championship Reigns
Stranger Things – 30 weeks [carried over from 2016]
The Young Pope – 3 weeks
Legion – 7 weeks
Better Call Saul – 1 week
The Leftovers – 2 weeks
Better Call Saul – 1 week
Fargo – 1 week
American Gods – 1 week
Twin Peaks – 1 week
Fargo – 3 weeks
Twin Peaks – 6 weeks
Game of Thrones – 1 week
Twin Peaks – 6 weeks
The Deuce – 14 weeks and counting

2017 AR™TV World Comedy Championship Reigns
Atlanta – 22 weeks [carried over from 2016]
Baskets – 17 weeks
The Carmichael Show – 9 weeks
Rick and Morty – 1 week
Insecure – 1 week
Rick and Morty – 5 weeks
Nathan For You – 14 weeks and counting


Looking forward:

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


52. Desus and Mero vs. DJ Akademiks (Desus and Mero, 12-20/12-21-17)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Search Party Season Grade: D
  • "You'll be visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future."
    "Wait, it's like I'm gonna be in that movie. Wait, what is the name of that movie? Oh, gosh. Okay, wait a minute. Okay, it was a guy counting coins, but he wouldn't help Teeny Tom. Oh, come on. The Muppets did a good one, and Ace Ventura did a bad one. You know what I'm talking about. It's Christmas… It's a Chris, Christmas…"
    "Carol!"
    "Yeah, what's up?" (Great News, S02E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


51. Huck (Jean-Claude Van Johnson, S01E01)


Stray Observations

  • Adam Driver singing (Bob's Burgers, S08E06)
  • "We gotta keep going. It's like IKEA. We can't go back. We gotta push forward." (Bob's Burgers, S08E07)
  • "Hello. Most of the year you know me as Cleavage to Beaver." (Bob's Burgers, S08E07)
  • "This is Portia's godfather Bing and his twink Jason." (Search Party, S02E08)
  • "Healter Skelter" (Search Party, S02E08)
  • ♫: LCD Soundsystem – "Oh Baby" (Marvel's Runaways, S01E06)
  • "They were not, as the kids say, 'awake.'"
    "Do you mean 'woke'?"
    "I did mean 'woke,' but it's grammatically incoherent." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E10)
  • "We need to woo them with the international language of friendship: pork." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E10)
  • "Black ink only. No blue. I'm not a street artist." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E10)
  • "I was worried about that too, but that's when I remembered: The Godfather."
    "The Diane Keaton movie."
    "No one refers to it as that, but Charles is right, she is in it."
    […]
    "In The Godfather, Don Corleone had three sons: Michael, his favorite."
    "Diane Keaton's husband."
    "Mm-kay. Then there was Sonny, the hothead."
    "Diane Keaton's brother-in-law."
    "Charles, you're being distracting."
    "No, he's not, he's actually helping me to follow this. Continue going through Diane Keaton's relatives." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E11)
  • "Your brain baby is crowning." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E11)
  • "Hi, there. I'd like to humiliate some hussies, and I'm in a hurry." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E11)
  • "Pumping hard or hardly pumping, Gina?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E11)
  • "I feel like a failure. I feel like a Coulier."
    "No, you're not a Coulier, Gina." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E11)
  • "Ho ho ho! Race is a social construct!" (Speechless, S02E10)
  • ♫: M83 – "Intro" (Mr. Robot, S03E10)
  • RT: In S01E08, Elliot is sent to his one meeting with whiterose – the cover for his meeting is that he's being sent to a place that can recover inaccessible information from some hard drives. The name of this data recovery business was Blank's Disk. (Mr. Robot, S03E10)
  • Back to the Future photo (Mr. Robot, S03E10)
  • ♫: Fiona Apple – "Criminal" (Mr. Robot, S03E10)
  • Mr. Robot Season Grade: B-
  • "Where you been, man? You got anything coming out?"
    "I'm retired."
    "What about on, uh, DVD? VOD?"
    "No, no. Real retired. Not like Nicolas Cage retired." (Jean-Claude Van Johnson, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


50. Trump Off That White? (Desus and Mero, 12-07-17)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "You look like a potato and shit casserole." (The Walking Dead, S08E07)
  • "And I swear to God, if I even catch you thinking about cookies, I am gonna smash your little bones into dust, and then I'm gonna make that dust into a broth, and then I'm gonna slurp it down, laughing. [laughs maniacally] And you'll be inside of me. And I will poo you out." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • Dueling parent traps (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • "Friendship kiss" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • Tandy sniffing his fingers after ass-slapping/kissing Todd (The Last Man on Earth, S04E08)
  • "Big Murray's not watching you." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E10)
  • "Aaron Burr!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E10)
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Grade: D+
  • Julian McMahon back! (Marvel's Runaways, S01E05)
  • "There's nothing scarier than a cat person."
    "Mmm, disagree. You ever see someone make chorizo?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E09)
  • "Let's do some top 40. Okay, I think 'Sauce It Up' by Lil Uzi Vert could be very spiritual if it's sung right. All we gotta do is change 'sauce' to 'Je-sauce.'" (The Mayor, S01E08)
  • "Perhaps it was a bottom dial." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E09)
  • "Three corndogs for 99 cents. Who could possibly eat three corndogs and has a dollar?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E09)
  • "I am going to remove your penis, in thin slices, like salami." (Happy!, S01E01)
  • ♫: "The Super Bowl Shuffle" (South Park, S21E10)
  • '80s music (South Park, S21E10)
  • South Park Season Grade: D-
  • ♫: Joey Bada$$ – "Curry Chicken" (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "It's not that I'm out of moves; it's that you're not worth one." (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "You can't force an agenda, Mr. Alderson. You have to inspire one." (Mr. Robot, S03E09)
  • "Yo, hold my Warbys." (Saturday Night Live, S43E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. The Jumping Shark (The Walking Dead, S08E06)


Honourable Mention

  • Judge Judy (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • The oner of everyone's powers in action under the overpass (Crisis on Earth X, S01E04)
  • Cinema intro intro (Mr. Robot, S03E08)

Stray Observations

  • "F. Murray Abraham. The 'F' is for fuckin' awesome." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "People will watch anything with 'Chicago' in the title. It's been proven." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "That's some good ass dick stories, man." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "Black man showing up at her door with a do-rag? She'll have a heart attack."
    "She'll be fine. It's in the same family as a scarf, as an ascot, as a pocket square." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "The verses are gonna be satanic." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "Chicago Teachers" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E09)
  • "That moment when your hair falls out…" (Search Party, S02E03)
  • "You're a lightweight drunk and a lacrosse-ruining slut." (Marvel's Runaways, S01E04)
  • The Americans (Speechless, S02E08)
  • Risky Business (Speechless, S02E08)
  • "Ray and Austin are chickens! Ray and Austin are chickens!"
    "Oh, I'm a chicken? So I provide 35% of the protein America consumes? Real good insult." (Speechless, S02E08)
  • 2.40:1 aspect ratio (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "Do you like TV?"
    "No."
    "Do you like horses?"
    "No."
    "Do you like Wii U?"
    "No." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "First of all, The Martian looks like shit." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "The Martian has 92% on Rotten Tomatoes."
    "That's because most critics have shitty taste." (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • "I wish you were dead!"
    "So do I!" (Mr. Robot, S03E08)
  • ♫: Robbie Robb – "In Time" (Mr. Robot, S03E07)
  • "Millennials Against Canada" (South Park, S21E09)
  • Greta Gerwig (Saturday Night Live, S43E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

48. Naked Josh Hutcherson fights hung version of himself (Future Man, S01E12)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Dude, I'm telling you, everything I wear, I get for free, down to my modal boxer briefs."
    "Modal."
    "It's this new fabric. It's three times softer than cotton."
    "Damn, three times?"
    "Yeah."
    "My drawers feel like construction paper." (Ghosted, S01E07)
  • "How do they know each of these packs of almonds are exactly 100 calories? They don't know. They can't know." (Ghosted, S01E07)
  • "Man, that's full nuts, like the phone booth on Doctor Who."
    "Yeah. Wait a second, you watch Doctor Who?"
    "I saw one on accident. I was flipping through channels." (Ghosted, S01E07)
  • "Smells weird."
    "You sure that's not what your hand always smells like?"
    "You know what? I have no idea. That's a really good point. Do you know what your hand smells like?" (Ghosted, S01E07)
  • "We're in total agree-wo-ment." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "He's changing all the manatee art to wo-manatee art." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "Wo-man, oh, wo-man, is it hot out! Yeah, plus all the pollen. Think I might have to go take an anti-her-stamine." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "Vagina-doodle-doo! Rise and shine, everyone! What a beautiful daughter-rise." + "This is what a feminist drinks like" mug (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "I feel like Bill Clinton right now – a simple man between two legendary Bushes, one of them a little older." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "As they scissor through the chains of ignorance, strap on, it's gonna be a wild ride. The three of you will form an unbreakable bond that nobody can penetrate." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "That's not a wife; this is a wife." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • "I will break through the symbolic glass ceiling by shattering this actual glass ceiling." + subsequent toilet-papered facial cuts (The Last Man on Earth, S04E07)
  • Seinfeld finale (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E08)
  • ♫: Blanck Mass – "Please" (Search Party, S02E01)
  • "GWAR has no mothers!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E08)
  • "All pitching comes directly from the ass." (The Mick, S02E07)
  • "All dip is just mayo!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E07)
  • "Wow, the unhygienic apple doesn't fall far from the unhygienic tree."
    "Did you just call my mom a tree?"
    "I called her an unhygienic tree." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E07)
  • "My son is a basic bitch." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E07)
  • "There's nothing better than a plain scone!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E07)
  • ♫: Knight Rider theme song (Mr. Robot, S03E07)
  • "I'm supposed to be on a Jdate with Juanita at Ruby Tuesday as we speak. She's probably worried about me."
    "What are you doing on Jdate? You're not even Jewish. It doesn't sound like she is either."
    "I told you, my 23andMe said I'm 6% Ashkenazi, and for your information, her full name is Juanita Rosenberg." (Mr. Robot, S03E07)


(Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E05)

  • "New plan: Torture her here."
    "Oh, what a waste. I had electric current, scalpels, this awesome scorpion I found…"
    "Hey, [points at heart] torture comes from here." (Future Man, S01E06)
  • "I watched Badger interrogate a million times. God dammit, he could get under people's skin. Just relentless."
    "How did he die?"
    "AIDS." (Future Man, S01E06)
  • "He programmed me with a sophisticated understanding of dramatic structure, but he never takes my notes on his screenplays. Know what you get when you ignore me? Unobtainium and characters who fornicate with their ponytails." (Future Man, S01E07)
  • "Hey, SIGORN-E, teach me more Na'vi words. What's 'wolf'?"
    "There is no Na'vi word for 'wolf,' but there is one for 'website,' which I assure you makes perfect sense." (Future Man, S01E07)
  • "I would recommend performing CPR."
    "English, please!"
    "Or very basic Na'vi." (Future Man, S01E07)
  • "We are going to get back up, we are going to dust off our clits, and we are going to complete this mission." (Future Man, S01E10)
  • "I'm fucking you with your own dick!" (Future Man, S01E13)
  • "Dingo, do not take my baby! " (Future Man, S01E13)
  • "A myrm eats its way through your brain lobe by lobe. If he's having an orgasm this intense, it can only be because the myrm is chewing on his amygdala. That's the brain's clit." (Future Man, S01E13)
  • "Destiny isn't something that just arrives on your doorstep in a wooden box from Japan. It's something that you seize in a moment, a moment where you realize you have to murder or suicide your former boss and mentor." (Future Man, S01E13)
  • Future Man Season Grade: C+
  • "It has changed a bit. There's a music festival now every summer. It has four stages."
    "Like cancer." (Back, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

47. Brimful of Asha (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E04)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "How's it looking?"
    "Your girlfriend is gonna love this one, bro."
    "No, it's not my girlfriend, it's my mom."
    "Your mom?"
    "Mhmm."
    "Bro, you should've told me that before I started working on these titties." (Shameless, S08E02)
  • "Tandy, I appreciate your efforts, but I think I'm just too tired to be stimulated nipple-arily." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
  • "Hey, Care Bear, would you feel better if I stayed up all night and watched your vagina?"
    "You would do that for me?"
    "I would do that for a lot of people, but tonight, yes, it's for you." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
  • "Carol, columns could crumble, the moon could explode, a banshee could scream in the very face of time, and I will not stop watching this vagina." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
  • "I follow the golden rule, okay? 'Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you' – the golden rule."
    "I follow the golden rule too – my friend Jasper Golden. 'Fuck them or they'll fuck you.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
  • "I don't want some post-sex guy walking around my house, okay? Now get out."
    "First of all, there's nothing wrong with people having the scent of fuck on their body."
    "I don't like the scent of fuck, okay? Sue me. I don't like fuck scent." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
  • "Gorgeous Romanian?! That's an oxymoron." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
  • "You have two children, heating and air-conditioning. You have to pick one, the one you had an affinity for, and the other one goes into the concentration camp. Which one you gonna keep?"
    "Heat. Go with heat."
    "So air conditioning's going to the concentration camp." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
  • "Fuck this $25,000 tiger." (Vice Principals, S02E09)
  • Vice principal Stevie Janowski (Vice Principals, S02E09)
  • Vice Principals Season Grade: C+
  • Jason Jordan fighting back tears and saying, "This is the one time that Raw and SmackDown go head-to-head in direct competition" (WWE Raw, 11-13-17)
  • "Grandma, I know what movie you should do for your ESL final monologue: The Sandlot."
    "I told you, nothing with Denis Leary." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E07)
  • "This is a huge opportunity. Governor Filucci is the real deal. He served in the Gulf War. He speaks Punjabi. He authored a crossword puzzle for the New York Times."
    "Let me guess. Monday?" (The Mayor, S01E07)
  • "A Nakatomi Plaza cake?! The groom is on a licorice hose!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E06)
  • "Kai, will you relax? Let me make you a Manwich."
    "Fuck a Manwich!" (American Horror Story, S07E11)
  • "Fortify yourselves with some vitamin A!" (American Horror Story, S07E11)
  • "It was your idea to cut off his face." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
  • "Killing people doesn't get the men hard and the ladies wet anymore, but Americans lose their ever-loving shit when you destroy their symbols, statues, flags, pledges of allegiance, $20 bills, white Jesus, and Merry fucking Christmas! You come for any of that stuff, you've got rioting in the streets and domination of the news cycle for weeks." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
  • "You were wrong. There is something more dangerous in this world than a humiliated man: A nasty woman." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: B-
  • Mar-a-Lago (Mr. Robot, S03E06)
  • "Another fine choice of venue by Sergei."
    "Utterly tasteless."
    "I passed that buffoon of an owner in the lobby. You gonna take him up on his offer to go boating tomorrow?"
    "Oh, please, don't remind me. Those swim trunks he insists upon wearing, a bit too snug. And a bit too short, wouldn't you say?"
    "Mm. I believe the appropriate term is 'hanging brain.'" (Mr. Robot, S03E06)
  • ♫: Slothrust – "Like A Child Hiding Behind Your Tombstone" (You're the Worst, S04E13)
  • You're the Worst Season Grade: D+
  • Better Things Season Grade: C
  • The Walking Dead + Breaking Bad + Talking Bad (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E04)
  • "Why are Republicans trying so hard to protect Roy Moore from this case? It's not like he wrote the remix to 'Ignition'…" (Saturday Night Live, S43E06)
  • "I've always wanted to fuck Luigi. I love Italian dick. I bet Luigi's dick, the whole dick is hairy. The whole dick. He has a dragon that shits eggs like a chicken. That's fucking dope." (Future Man, S01E01)
  • "I'm really sorry, Stu."
    "Sorry doesn't re-swab those urethras." (Future Man, S01E01)
  • "Now, what was I talking about?"
    "Uh, herpes."
    "Oh, yes, of course. I'll never forget the night I contracted it. It was the night of the moon landing."
    "That is a historic moment to contract herpes." (Future Man, S01E01)
  • "I'm like, I don't even remember buying this. Then I realized it was my dad's Fleshlight." (Future Man, S01E04)
  • "It's like macaroons for my nose!" (Future Man, S01E04)
  • Kombucha-boarding (Future Man, S01E04)
  • "No more, please! I can't take it! It's too tart!" (Future Man, S01E04)
  • "Morris, 'buch him." (Future Man, S01E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

It's a tie!

46a. Gamby vs. Russell (Vice Principals, S02E08)

46b. Escort for Nathan (Nathan For You, S04E07)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Wait. I know that I've said this a lot, but this time I mean it. We should put leaves in our underwear." (Bob's Burgers, S08E04)
  • "Liam, how was school today?"
    "Okay. Some cracker told me my life mattered." (Shameless, S08E01)
  • "Well, these stairs are an obvious hazard, but nothing a couple packing peanuts can't fix."
    "Packing peanuts?"
    "Yeah, packing peanuts. You don't want our baby getting SIFILISS."
    "Syphilis."
    "SIFILISS."
    "Syphilis."
    "SIFILISS. You know, Sudden Infant Falling Into Large Indoor Spaces Syndrome?"
    "Oh, I thought you meant the other one."
    "No, I'm talking about the bad one." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E05)
  • "I'm baby-proofing, and you are doing the reverse. You're…foorpybab-ing."
    "I am not, Carol, and I take offense at that, okay? If anything, I'm doing the reverse of foorpybab-ing. I'm, uhh…babbyprof-ing." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E05)
  • "I'd rather play with a fast Manson than a slow Funkhauser." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E06)
  • "A stabbing range where you stab dummies." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E06)
  • "The fuck is this? A spaceship on a ladder?"
    "I think it's a train."
    "On a ladder?" (Vice Principals, S02E08)


(Vice Principals, S02E08)

  • "Today, me and my sister were spying on Lee in the bathroom when we caught him standing on the bathroom sink inspecting his own asshole in the mirror." (Vice Principals, S02E08)
  • ♫: Big Black Delta – "Roost" (Vice Principals, S02E08)
  • "Take a pear and get out there, woman gay." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E06)
  • "I'd like to bet $20,000 on Yabba Dabba Doo." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E05)
  • "Addiction is nothing to fool around with. I had food issues. I ate a crate of hams once." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E05)
  • "Murder Truck" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E05)
  • "Oh no, he is deep in the ham crate." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E05)
  • "I'm glad you get your money back. You can invest it in something you actually believe in instead of my balls." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E05)
  • ♫: Harry Styles – "Sign of the Times" (Riverdale, S02E05)
  • "I don't know anything. I'm just a turtle." (South Park, S21E07)
  • Elliott's employee number is 07-23-91, the date that birthed the Mandela Effect (Mr. Robot, S03E05)
  • ♫: Blues Traveler – "Run-Around" (Mr. Robot, S03E05)
  • Elliot running into the room from which Angela came out (Mr. Robot, S03E05)


(The Late Late Show with James Corden, 11-08-17)


(Nathan For You, S04E07)

  • "Mud 2: Never Clean" (Nathan For You, S04E07)
  • "We had successfully transformed the church social hall I had rented into a ballroom fit for Cinderella herself, and Bill looked like the spitting image of Alex Sanford in the thick-rimmed non-prescription glasses we had purchased from Sam's Club." (Nathan For You, S04E07)
  • There was a hidden message in the closed captions (Nathan For You, S04E07)
  • "We decided to do a role reversal exercise using a wig I had picked up from a store down the block." (Nathan For You, S04E07)
  • "When we got back to the hotel that night, there was a bee on the loose." (Nathan For You, S04E07)
  • Nathan For You Season Grade: A-
  • Zelda secret sound (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E03)
  • GoldenEye N64 opening (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E03)
  • "And Tolkie got freaky with a Banjo-Kazooie runner, Stephanie Bobo." (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E03)
  • "Raccoons cannot resist some peanut butter titties." (Lady Dynamite, S02E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


45. I wish it didn't have to be so bad (Wendy, 10-31-17)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • The Deuce Season Grade: B+
  • Chet Haze (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E05)
  • "The mail woman has stopped delivering since our date."
    "Had the same situation with a girl at Burger King. Haven't had a Whopper in fuckin' three years." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E05)
  • "There's also a post office credo. They should put 'spite' in there. Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor spite shall keep these couriers." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E05)
  • "Bloody promises, bloody tips. This is how a pact is made." (Vice Principals, S02E07)
  • "If this works out for Junior, he could put us in public school."
    "What is that even like?"
    [cut to Jack and Diane watching Dangerous Minds] (Black-ish, S04E05)
  • "Be brutal."
    "Simon Cowell brutal or O.J. brutal?" (The Mayor, S01E04)
  • Evan Peters as Marshall Applewhite, David Koresh, and Jim Jones (American Horror Story, S07E09)
  • "I found this on wikiHow."
    "'How to escape from a cult.'" (American Horror Story, S07E09)
  • Evan Peters as Jesus Christ high-fiving Evan Peters as Jim Jones (American Horror Story, S07E09)
  • "Doubters get no cookies!" (American Horror Story, S07E09)
  • "The bed is for family." (American Horror Story, S07E09)


Dave Grohl as David Letterman (Jimmy Kimmel Live!, 10-31-17)

  • "Betty's ponytail is iconic and beyond reproach." (Riverdale, S02E04)
  • "Hey! Stay away from those lemons! Just because they're hanging over the sidewalk doesn't mean they're free! You people act like I don't need these lemons, but I do! I need them very badly!" (You're the Worst, S04E10)
  • "Mmm! This is good!"
    "It's Country Time. My lemons aren't juicing lemons." (You're the Worst, S04E10)
  • Rashad Jennings (Great News, S02E06)
  • "Vow Chicka Vow Vow: Exploring Marital Relations" (Great News, S02E06)
  • "Max, the dog is eating your pussy blood again!" (Better Things, S02E08)
  • "So you're saying you pleasure yourself so much at home that it doesn't affect you at work?"
    "Correct." (Nathan For You, S04E06)


(Nathan For You, S04E06)

  • "So when most people are thinking of sex, you're thinking of Aquaman?" (Nathan For You, S04E06)


(Nathan For You, S04E06)


(Nathan For You, S04E06)

  • Full Doubtfire (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E02)
  • Dick slip (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E02)
  • "Making fun of someone with a disability is retarded." (Saturday Night Live, S43E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

44. Sacred Copulation (American Horror Story, S07E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Anton Chigurh Halloween costume (Bob's Burgers, S08E03)
  • Mombie Halloween costume (Bob's Burgers, S08E03)
  • "What the hell was that?"
    "The wolf."
    "No, wolves howl. That was not a howl."
    "It sounded like the noise I made when Felicity cut her hair." (Bob's Burgers, S08E03)
  • "I hope you got your shittin' pants on."
    "What?"
    "Your shittin' pants. I hope you're wearing 'em right now, 'cause you…are about to shit your pants." (The Walking Dead, S08E01)
  • "I just shot a nigga. Come and get him." (The Deuce, S01E07)
  • ♫: The Kinks – "Strangers" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E04)
  • "Those pants might've been manufactured in a country that has small penises."
    "So these pants fit the penis from whence they came."
    "You're goddamn right. Why would they make a little fly in a country with big ass dicks? See, I'm-a tell you, I don't have that problem, 'cause I buy my shit from Jamaica." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E04)
  • "There's been a breach of the patient-doctor confidentiality." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E04)
  • "I like eating nachos and lip-syncing. I always have." (Vice Principals, S02E06)
  • Juggalo Halloween costume (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E04)
  • Craig and Smokey from Friday Halloween costumes (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E04)
  • "Explain yourself."
    "I'm Prince, and this is the one time of year I can wear a plunging neckline." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E04)
  • "Oh, what a lovely, uh…pimp and ho?"
    "My son is Willy Wonka and I'm not in costume." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E04)
  • "Everything in Orlando used to be a strip club." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E04)


(WWE SmackDown Live, 10-24-17)

  • "This is Black Monopoly, so let me break down the rules for you, all right? No side-coaching. No gifting of money, but loans are allowed."
    "Just know you're never gonna get your money back."
    "You cannot collect rent while you're in jail, and Pops does not pay income tax."
    "Reparations." (Black-ish, S04E04)
  • Maxine Waters Halloween costume (The Mayor, S01E04)
  • Fidget spinner Halloween costume (The Mayor, S01E04)
  • "Ohhh, Maxine Waters, look out! She's about to reclaim her time!" (The Mayor, S01E04)
  • Hell house (American Horror Story, S07E08)
  • "As he enters you, I will enter him." (American Horror Story, S07E08)
  • "There's no such thing as gay or straight. You have to lean into your masculinity." (American Horror Story, S07E08)
  • "This recipe also works for chicken, known as the fish of the ground." (At Home with Amy Sedaris, S01E01)
  • "Cheese will work with you if you let it." (At Home with Amy Sedaris, S01E01)
  • "Von Mueller's: Not just Hitler's syrup. The Kaiser loved it too." (At Home with Amy Sedaris, S01E01)
  • 10 Michael Jacksons Halloween costumes (Speechless, S02E05)


(Riverdale, S02E03)

  • Channel Zero: No-End House Season Grade: C
  • Custard's Last Flan, Panna Cotta Da Vida (The Good Place, S02E07)
  • "I love my New York life."
    "Really? 'Cause it seems like from your Instagram that you're always laying in bed trying to win some #CrazyForDoritos contest."
    "Trying to win? They invited me to the Cool Ranch." (Great News, S02E05)
  • "Katie, you're trying to have a life that does not belong to you, like Dr. Faustus, my gynecologist who turned out to be Andy Dick doing a prank." (Great News, S02E05)
  • "Now this'll be really scary, right? Like the time I was naked and I looked at a mirror on the floor?" (Great News, S02E05)
  • "How did you know my name was Katie?"
    "Girl, you're all named 'Katie.'" (Great News, S02E05)
  • "Between taking care of my three adorable children, Grayson, Mason and my unborn gay son Gayson…" (Great News, S02E05)
  • "If you were just to…taste my dick." (Better Things, S02E07)


(Nathan For You, S04E05)

  • "I took Eddie off guitar, and he's gonna be on smoke detector for this one." (Nathan For You, S04E05)
  • ♫: The Banzai Predicament – "Orphaned Skies" (Nathan For You, S04E05)
  • "So to frame Shell for this theft…" (Nathan For You, S04E05)
  • "How do you feel when you see this image of a bird covered in oil?"
    "I feel okay. I feel all right. I don't feel nothing. It's like, fun day at the beach." (Nathan For You, S04E05)
  • An American Werewolf in London (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E01)
  • "That's just our pit bull, Featuring Ludacris. He won't hurt you guys, will you, Featuring Ludacris? Are you a good featured artist?" (Big Mouth, S01E04)
  • "Magic is not gay. It transcends sexuality." (Big Mouth, S01E04)
  • "My dear boy, I make this vow: No cum shall enter your tummy." (Big Mouth, S01E04)
  • "Look at all these houses. You never know how many people are inside eating jizz." (Big Mouth, S01E04)
  • "You ever actually fuck a tomato? It's like fucking a sneeze."
    "Wait, you find a sneeze sexual?"
    "Ooh, I find everything sexual."
    "What about a chair?"
    "Sit on it, brother."
    "An airplane?"
    "Big dick flying through the sky."
    "What about a button-down shirt?"
    "You mean a gaping butthole and 10 clits?" (Big Mouth, S01E05)
  • Veronica's Closet (Big Mouth, S01E05)
  • "Jazz is like life. It goes on for longer than you think, and then as soon as you're like, 'Oh, I get it,' it ends." (Big Mouth, S01E06)
  • "Teepee, fat guy, sideways moon, other fat guy, sideways comb." (Big Mouth, S01E07)
  • "Hockey stick, coffee stain, water cooler cup, sideways comb." (Big Mouth, S01E07)
  • Whitney Houston (Big Mouth, S01E08)
  • "Wow. You taste so much better than my bath mat." (Big Mouth, S01E08)


"What? You've never seen a hormone monster's Jewish penis eat dumpster scallops?" (Big Mouth, S01E09)

  • Big Mouth Season Grade: C+
  • "I hate this overpriced bullshit!" (Stranger Things, S02E01)


(Stranger Things, S02E01)

  • "No one wants to be Winston, man." (Stranger Things, S02E02)
  • Flaming squirrel attack (Stranger Things, S02E02)
  • "No one likes 3 Musketeers." (Stranger Things, S02E02)


(Stranger Things, S02E05)

  • "So, Jonathan, how was the pull-out?" (Stranger Things, S02E02)
  • Punky Brewster (Stranger Things, S02E07)
  • Justice for Bob (Stranger Things, S02E10)
  • Stranger Things Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


43. Gay Test (Big Mouth, S01E03)


Honourable Mention

  • Salman Rushdie (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E03)
  • Jimmy's awkward hook-up with Adrienne (You're the Worst, S04E08)
  • Penises playing basketball (Big Mouth, S01E01)
  • ♫: "Everybody Bleeds" (Big Mouth, S01E02)

Stray Observations

  • "I've got a monkey holding a banana like a phone."
    "Who's he calling? [laughs] Oh, it's fun to imagine, right? Michael Jackson." (Bob's Burgers, S08E02)
  • "I had a very productive day yesterday."
    "It's true. It was like Cocoon." (Bob's Burgers, S08E02)
  • "Florida is for people who don't know about Hawaii." (Ghosted, S01E03)
  • "Mitch Bachelor." (Ghosted, S01E03)
  • "I don't like when my clothes billow." (Ghosted, S01E03)
  • "Oh, you guys feeling like rock-and-rollers? Yeah, Coldplay in the house!" (Ghosted, S01E03)


(Ghosted, S01E03)

  • A-Rod playing Flip Cup with the Gronks (Shark Tank, S09E04)
  • ♫: James Carr – "These Ain't Raindrops" (The Deuce, S01E06)
  • "What is your problem? We had something. I felt it. I felt it on the bow, I felt it on the stern, then a few more times on the bow, then the stern again. Then you flipped me over onto my starboard side. I even tried aft for the first time." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E03)
  • "Take your unsucked candy and get back to your desk." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E03)
  • "Oh, you can't 'yoo-hoo' a judge?"
    "You most certainly cannot 'yoo-hoo' a judge." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E03)
  • "For we are not donkeys. Or in Brooklyn, we would say 'dunkeys,' for some reason." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E03)
  • "Fuck you, Elvid!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E03)
  • "Were you just spying on us? Drinking my RC Cola!" (Vice Principals, S02E05)


(Vice Principals, S02E05)

  • "Let's go out back by the dumpsters. I have a huge hole in my panties." (Vice Principals, S02E05)
  • "Don't do it inside my Silverado." (Vice Principals, S02E05)


(WWE Raw, 10-16-17)

  • "He's sensitive. Classic Leno fan." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E03)
  • "You can send back baby corn. You can't send back baby." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E03)
  • Ray Wise doing karaoke (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E03)
  • "Sorry I'm late, guys."
    "What's your excuse today? Uh, another OJ verdict?" (Black-ish, S04E03)
  • "Guess how old fine Angela Bassett is?"
    "Wow! She's 59!"
    "What?! Tina Turner is 77!"
    "Whoa. Crispus Attucks is 294." (Black-ish, S04E03)
  • "This is bad. This is worse than white people with dreadlocks." (The Mayor, S01E03)
  • "We got this tradition where you gotta choose each other's Halloween costume, and whatever gets chosen, you gotta go with it."
    "You gotta commit."
    "Oh, okay, do me."
    "Fernando Valenzuela."
    "Who the hell is that?"
    "Who the hell are you? He's only, like, one of the best pitchers of all time."
    "I've never heard of him."
    "People will love it, trust me. My turn."
    "Randy Johnson."
    "You guys making these names up?"
    "Don't do pitcher just 'cause I did pitcher."
    "No, I'm not. You inspired me. You know, I mean, you got these…floppy limbs and this, like, emaciated face. [pause] No, like, in a good way. [pause] I find Randy Johnson very attractive."
    "All right, whatever. Alba, do Jimmy."
    "Okay, uhh… Garbage."
    "Garbage what? Like the garbage man to drive a truck?"
    "No. No man, no truck. Just…garbage." (The Mick, S02E04)
  • "Dude, I'm just trying to get a drink."
    "All right, well, sit tight, guy. My homegirl's filling up her pumpkin." (The Mick, S02E04)
  • "Who the hell are you?"
    "I'm Randy Johnson." (The Mick, S02E04)
  • "None of you stand a chance against me. No courage, no patience, no brains, and, of course, a bald old man."
    "I'm younger than you."
    "No comeback for the bald thing, I see." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E04)
  • "Hook, line, and sphincter."
    "It's 'sinker.'"
    "No, it's 'sphincter.' That's where you put the hook in when you're eeling." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E04)
  • "Wait a minute. This isn't the championship cummerbund. This is some common cummerbund. And you're not Cheddar. You're just some common bitch." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E04)
  • "Terry also loved the show."
    "No, no, I love Elisabeth Moss. Terry thought the show was too bleak." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E04)
  • Evan Peters as Andy Warhol (American Horror Story, S07E07)
  • "Holy shit. I just got a retweet from Eric Trump." (American Horror Story, S07E07)
  • "Silly girls are all stupid and doomed. History may change, but herstory always repeats itself." (American Horror Story, S07E07)
  • "SCUM stands for the Society for Cutting Up Men." (American Horror Story, S07E07)
  • "We were the Zodiac." (American Horror Story, S07E07)
  • "What did you even say to them anyway?"
    "That you're an enormous pain in the ass and that they shouldn't let you in."
    "Excuse me! I am a joy in the ass!" (Speechless, S02E04)
  • ♫: Characters singing "Milkshake" (Riverdale, S02E02)
  • ♫: Characters singing "Milkshake" (South Park, S21E05)
  • "Cankle Action" (You're the Worst, S04E08)
  • "Sign up for Trunk Club. Pop a few Zoloft. Join in on the live-action cartoon of 2D emotions that everyone else is in." (Mr. Robot, S03E02)
  • ♫: Barenaked Ladies – "One Week" (Mr. Robot, S03E02)
  • "Jason's a nice person, but my suitors were always of a certain…echelon. I used what I called the 'Duke Rule,' because Duke is both minimum acceptable university and rank of nobility." (The Good Place, S02E06)
  • Shrimp dispenser (The Good Place, S02E06)
  • "Diamonds are literally carbon molecules lined up in the most boring way. They're worthless space garbage. What you're holding right now, that's basically meteorite poop." (The Good Place, S02E06)
  • "Nobody try Mystery Flavor. It's white chocolate, and it is nasty." (The Good Place, S02E06)
  • "It was unfortunate that Sal's mom was still alive, because the suit was perfect." (Nathan For You, S04E04)
  • "If there's stuff from her body that she doesn't use…" (Nathan For You, S04E04)
  • Mindhunter Season Grade: C
  • "Now let's watch McConaughey bang two meth heads at a rodeo, and try not to think about AIDS. [breathes heavily] Andrew…"
    "Yeah?"
    "I'm thinking about AIDS." (Big Mouth, S01E01)
  • "Jai ho!" (Big Mouth, S01E01)
  • "Oh, look, the lost and found became a person." (Big Mouth, S01E03)
  • "Lacrosse tryouts are tomorrow. Exciting news for rich sociopaths with a loose concept of consent." (Big Mouth, S01E03)
  • "Ghost cock is like vegan bacon – it just isn't as good as the real thing." (Big Mouth, S01E03)
  • "Everything in the gay community is a thing." (Big Mouth, S01E03)


(Big Mouth, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

42. Unauthorized Chinese Restaurant Wedding (Nathan For You, S04E03)


Honourable Mention

  • Rodney and Candy (The Deuce, S01E05)
  • Monologue (Mr. Robot, S03E01)

Stray Observations

  • "Ain't nobody wanna fuck a girl named Bernice." (The Deuce, S01E05)
  • "Don't you dare eat his butt!"
    "I will eat his butt! Put the gun down!" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E02)
  • "This is a hooker smock is what you got on." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "Good luck with the fatwa." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "Ru-dy Giu-li-a-niiiiii!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "I'm not even gonna bring up the fact you're fucking in your goddamn glasses." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "The way he relaxes is the way all men relax. It's called 'ejaculation.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "He can't masturbate. He can't make it come out."
    "He can't go left?"
    "No, he can't go to his left. Can you go to your left?"
    "Eh, nobody can." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "My name is Chappie Johnson and I can't open this damn pickle jar!" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • "I did a hooker mitzvah! It's a hooker mitzvah." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E02)
  • ♫: Perfume Genius – "Queen" (Vice Principals, S02E04)
  • "Excuse me. May I come in for a glass of water?"
    "No. Your dehumidifier is full. Drink that." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E02)
  • "How are the thank you notes going?"
    "Good! Here: 'Babies hate pewter spoons. Kill yourself.'" (Black-ish, S04E02)
  • "She's gonna be okay."
    "Are you sure? She put sunscreen and a steak knife in Diane's lunchbox today."
    "Turns out I needed both at recess!" (Black-ish, S04E02)
  • "Follow the flan." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E03)
  • "All he took was a shipment of $1000 Weezys designed by Little Wayne."
    "Oh, it's Lil."
    "Oh, like Lillian. Lillian Wayne, okay…" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E03)
  • "Jake, can you please spiral a little quieter? Nicolaj is still asleep, and if he hears two men arguing in the next room, he might think he's getting sold again." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E03)
  • "People like Mr. Anderson and Trump are not the garbage. They are the flies that the garbage has drawn." (American Horror Story, S07E06)
  • "A young man's certainty is also his burden. I'm gonna relieve you of both." (American Horror Story, S07E06)
  • "Knowing stuff has no value anymore, not when the answer is in my back pocket or sitting on my desk. The youth has it figured out. The future will be filled with beautiful idiots who just want to feel." (American Horror Story, S07E06)
  • "No one's gonna believe any of that!"
    "Mm. Of course they will. It's on Facebook." (American Horror Story, S07E06)
  • "Those kids… I mean, yeah, they were puking their guts out or eating cat food for BJs, but they were just hanging out together and that was enough." (You're the Worst, S04E07)
  • Mute button for life (Mr. Robot, S03E01)
  • "A millennial is someone who's only been torturing people for 1000 years." (The Good Place, S02E05)
  • "It's Chinese for 'Japan.'" (The Good Place, S02E05)
  • "Focus on something great, like the Sharper Image catalog. What can't those guys ionize?" (The Good Place, S02E05)
  • "Mi torture es su torture." (The Good Place, S02E05)
  • "So you won't be around? But you're my mentor… Could you appear in the clouds when I have a moral conundrum?"
    "I do have Mufasa technology, but it's very expensive." (Great News, S02E03)
  • "You know, from Law and Order. In England, it's called Barristers and Decorum." (Great News, S02E03)
  • Pervert's high five (Great News, S02E03)
  • ♫: Yellow Ostrich – "Fog" (Better Things, S02E05)
  • ♫: "Mambo No. 5" (Nathan For You, S04E03)
  • Louisiana accent (Nathan For You, S04E03)
  • "I was reminded of the vows we had taken at that Chinese restaurant." (Nathan For You, S04E03)
  • "Can I take you to see Natural Born Killers?" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E09)
  • "What the hell is Yahoo?" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E09)
  • ♫: Beck – "Beercan" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E10)
  • "Oh, she's doing these college-level C++ classes. It's one night a week at Foothill." (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E10)
  • ♫: Peter Gabriel – "Solsbury Hill" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E10)
  • Halt and Catch Fire Season Grade: C
  • "This new girl, she take it up the ass?"
    "We haven't really discussed it."
    "Ask her. An asshole will suck your cock right in – literally. It's like a hole that sucks. [makes slurping sound] It's easy. But when you fuck somebody in the neck, it's entirely the opposite. It's nothing but resistance. It's really difficult. You feel this? Feel it. It's all muscle. Cartilaginous." (Mindhunter, S02E02)
  • "To your fellatio skills." (Mindhunter, S02E07)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


41. Schoolhouse Roots (Black-ish, S04E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Fanimated (Bob's Burgers, S08E01)
  • "I like dating." (Bob's Burgers, S08E01)
  • "The idea came from a childhood cartoon called TaleSpin. One of the characters in there would jump out of an airplane, throw a board under his feet, grab on to a rope, and get towed behind the airplane through the sky." (Shark Tank, S09E01)
  • Jack Black cameo (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • "Now let's have a moment of silent prayer while I decapitate Pat with a shovel." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • "Looks like he loved you very much before you shot him." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • "Hey, bud, you done with my shirt?" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • "That Pamela is a real B – minus the stinger, plus the 'itch.'" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • "Ooh, a coconut breast milk smoothie would be next level. For Dawn, not for me. Virgin. The drink, not Dawn. Well, may I presume she's a virgin as well?" (The Last Man on Earth, S04E01)
  • Constipated Carrie Brownstein (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "You guys got some great slang." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "I shot a porno constipated. I ran a 5K marathon constipated. I was in a hot dog eating contest constipated. You cannot let this bitch use constipation as something to lean on." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "That's a fuckin' bride. You a goddamn groom." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "It's a cooking spray, PAM."
    "No, it's People Against Mutilation." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "If it was a parrot, it would be a tragedy, or some exotic bird from Brazil, like a macaw or a toucan."
    "I don't live in a Cuban dance hall." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "Cruditake." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "Fatwa by association." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "Fatwa?"
    "No, lesbian bride." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E01)
  • "It is big, isn't it?"
    "Why are you asking me?"
    "Well, you're the one I stick it in, Christine. Who else am I gonna ask?"
    "Yeah, it's fine. I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of penises."
    "Well, certainly you know if it's, if it's small…"
    "It's perfect for me… Big ones hurt."
    "Well, I could hurt you. I could hit both walls if I wanted – and your uterus." (Vice Principals, S02E03)


(Vice Principals, S02E03)

  • "Well, you're not even my type either."
    "Okay…"
    "I don't like it when girls have just landing strips. I've always liked it more when girls have full-blown beavers. Anybody who knows me knows that. So no matter how close we would have gotten, it would have only been so close, 'cause you just don't have enough pubic hair. [sniffles]" (Vice Principals, S02E03)
  • "I am Presidentress of the Megagargantuans. We named ourselves before learning we were small." (Rick and Morty, S03E10)
  • "Senior year, I took you on a date to the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra performing the music of Alan Silvestri in the park. At this point in the song from Volcano, when Tommy Lee Jones and the utility workers are using cars to guide the lava into a cul de sac, I realized my palms were so sweaty, I would never get to hold your hand…" (Rick and Morty, S03E10)
  • Rick and Morty Season Grade: C+
  • "I was a contestant on Studs once." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E01)
  • "You ready, son?"
    "Is The Secret World of Alex Mack the best show on television?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E01)
  • "What are you worried about? Relax… Have some Molly." (The Mick, S02E02)
  • "What about Magic Johnson's Still Alive Day?" (Black-ish, S04E01)
  • "UVA."
    "We built that."
    "Chapel Hill."
    "We built that."
    "Pyramids."
    "No, sorry, our Hebrew brothers get credit for that." (Black-ish, S04E01)
  • "You've never truly loved until you've loved your cousin." (Black-ish, S04E01)
  • "Grab a blonde and miscegenate." (Black-ish, S04E01)


(Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E02)

  • "Imagination is never the solution." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E02)
  • "There is nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E02)
  • "Ugh, typical shiksa." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E02)
  • "The perception of credibility leads to the perception of power." (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • "The world isn't 'tell me,' it's 'show me.'" (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • "Latin is inherently scary." (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • "Ave Satanas, motherfucker." (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • "The world record for nails in the head before death is 13." (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • The Red Pill (American Horror Story, S07E05)
  • "It's not fair that I get to put up these walls and you can't with me, so I think it's only fair that I reveal myself to you."
    "Are you going to show me your…?"
    "No! But I am gonna show you…my emotional penis." (Speechless, S02E02)
  • ♫: Holy Oysters – "Take Me for a Ride" (You're the Worst, S04E06)
  • "One of my employees is blackmailing me – Vicky. She runs the clam chowder place in the main square, A Little Bit Chowder Now."
    "Oh, the place with the, the chowder fountain."
    "No, that's Pump Up the Clam. Little Bit Chowder Now has the lazy river of chowder. [gags] How did we ever think this was the Good Place?" (The Good Place, S02E04)
  • "I might be the most advanced Janet in the universe." [pats head while rubbing stomach] (The Good Place, S02E04)
  • "Oh, no… I died in Cleveland?" (The Good Place, S02E04)
  • "Not gonna do it – Dana Carvey." (Great News, S02E02)
  • "Look at these two. Just like Sam and Diane."
    "From Cheers, the classic '80s alcoholism PSA?"
    "No, Salmon Diane, the classic fish recipe. Just salmon and nacho cheese. You wouldn't think they would go together, and in many ways, they do not." (Great News, S02E02)
  • "With the help of a guy from Craigslist, our tailor was able to take all the measurements he needed." (Nathan For You, S04E02)


(Nathan For You, S04E02)

  • "I also had a cane with a secret trigger that could dispense organic sour cream on demand, a trucker hat with a built-in cheese grater to deliver fresh cheddar cheese, and lastly, a cargo pocket full of chives." (Nathan For You, S04E02)
  • "I did feel a little bad that no one wanted anything to do with our wart angels that day." (Nathan For You, S04E02)
  • "Uh, type of pacemaker you have?"
    "Umm… I think it's uhhh… Sony?" (Nathan For You, S04E02)
  • ♫: Barnes and Barnes – "Fish Heads" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


40. The Tipping Point (Nathan For You, S04E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Chaz Bono sawing his arm off to go vote for Trump on election night (American Horror Story, S07E04)
  • Ace Ventura impersonator (Nathan For You, S04E01)
  • Papyrus (Saturday Night Live, S43E01)
  • Breadfacing (American Vandal, S01E07)

Stray Observations

  • "Confess into my voice-mail application now!" (Vice Principals, S02E02)
  • "Ms. LeBlanc, why don't you take your Euripides and shove it up your ass?" (Vice Principals, S02E02)
  • "Wow, dad, your place looks way less like a crack house."
    "It's actually clean, like a cocaine house." (Rick and Morty, S03E09)
  • "Whatever you say, Stone Cold Steve Austin." (Rick and Morty, S03E09)
  • ♫: Dan Harmon and Ryan Elder – "Fathers and Daughters (feat. Chaos Chaos)"
  • "Get me Picante Beef, bitch boy." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E01)
  • "Are you really playing the gay card right now?"
    "Yaas queen." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E01)
  • "I can't believe we're going to gen pop. A cop and a cannibal? Everyone's gonna be trying to kill us."
    "I know! What are we gonna do?"
    "You're a psychopath. You can protect us in there, right? I mean, you killed an ate a bunch of people."
    "They were children, Jake. Meek little children. One conk on the head was all it took."
    "Dammit! I can't believe I'm friends with a cowardly cannibal." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E01)
  • "Man, my cousin was so tasty." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E01)
  • "Okay, look, I've been in prison for 15 years. I'm not good with new technology. If you want somebody to lure a kid to a park using a Lycos chat room, I'm your man." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E01)
  • "I'll grab you in the pussy!" (American Horror Story, S07E04)
  • "Young guys just don't appreciate how sensitive women's nipples are." (American Horror Story, S07E04)
  • "I'm gonna be on the TODAY Show one day, and I don't care how many dicks I have to suck to get there." (American Horror Story, S07E04)
  • "Are you gonna watch?" (American Horror Story, S07E04)
  • "You know, they just used this song in Guardians of the Galaxy." (Speechless, S02E01)


(South Park, S21E03)

  • "There are no stray dogs in Berlin! The animal welfare system is tight!" (You're the Worst, S04E04)
  • "You said you befriended Fatboy Slim on our behalf."
    "Okay, guys, but think about that. What does that even mean?" (You're the Worst, S04E04)
  • "It'll work. I'm a publicist. You ever hear the one that goes 'Courtney Love is smart now'?"
    "That was you?" (You're the Worst, S04E04)
  • "Sushi and the Banshees." (The Good Place, S02E03)
  • Clam chowder fountain (The Good Place, S02E03)
  • "Maybe they finally figured out clam chowder is disgusting because it's basically a savoury latte with bugs in it." (The Good Place, S02E03)
  • "And clam chowder is disgusting! It's just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons." (The Good Place, S02E03)
  • "I've only ever said 'I love you' to two men my entire life: Stone Cold Steve Austin, and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin." (The Good Place, S02E03)
  • "Everyone remain calm! Read my mug!" (Great News, S02E01)
  • "I just wanted to make sure that you're okay, you know, 'cause I am in a relationship."
    "Oh, I know, I know, with…Cat, who is…a person."
    "She's in heat right now."
    [pause]
    "They're doing a Broadway remake of the movie." (Great News, S02E01)
  • "Now, Rex, I have to imagine you have something to say about animal sacrifice as a homosexual dog…who also served in the militaryyy!" (Great News, S02E01)
  • Henry Thomas (Better Things, S02E03)
  • Billy West and Tom Kenny (Better Things, S02E03)
  • "I'm the editor-in-chief of the Diarrhea Times." (Nathan For You, S04E01)
  • "Your lead story is a movie review of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist?" (Nathan For You, S04E01)
  • "Entering a bank handcuffed to another man is a very risky manoeuvre." (Nathan For You, S04E01)
  • ♫: Pavement – "Summer Babe [Winter Version]" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E07)
  • "How short are we talking?"
    "Well, it's, um… It's pretty short. Like, shorter than Dorothy Hamill's, but not as short as Mark Hamill – somewhere mid-Hamill?" (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E07)
  • Gordon! (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E07)
  • American Vandal Season Grade: B-

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Looking ahead:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

39. Vancouver, BC (Nathan For You: A Celebration, 09-21-17)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Potato soup (The Deuce, S01E02)
  • ♫: "Tears in Heaven" (Vice Principals, S02E01)
  • "It's almost like a Chinese buffet, but, you know, classier." (Vice Principals, S02E01)
  • "How dare you put ink of me onto your back of eating shit and holding his hand that way!" (Vice Principals, S02E01)
  • "And when I find that son of a bitch, I'm gonna shoot him in his dick."
    "Or her, 'cause it could be a girl."
    "Then she shall be shot in her privates too." (Vice Principals, S02E01)
  • "Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Dolittle." (Rick and Morty, S03E08)
  • ♫: 331Erock – "Rick and Morty Meets Metal" (Rick and Morty, S03E08)
  • "People are like nature's apps." (The Good Place, S02E01)
  • "Relax. Feel the breeze on your feet. That's why Crocs have holes in them." (The Good Place, S02E01)
  • "What the fork, man?"
    "I know that book."
    "Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line?" (The Good Place, S02E01)
  • "Now it seems the collective rage and suspicion of this community has a focus, and it's a woman whose critics are calling 'a lesbian George Zimmerman.'" (American Horror Story, S07E03)
  • "His name is Mr. Guinea."
    "Sweetie, come on, you know we don't like cisnormative pet names." (American Horror Story, S07E03)
  • "Stop saying 'sorry' – for anything. That makes you nothing. Everything is somebody else's fault from now on. Do you understand? You want to be somebody? You want to matter? Then you make the world wrong." (American Horror Story, S07E03)
  • "Sir, try to calm down."
    "No, I can't calm down! You need to calm up! You need to get to my level!" (American Horror Story, S07E03)
  • "Listen, when I ask you if you wish you could have all your dinner ingredients delivered to your door, say 'yes.' I mean, I know that seems obvious, but for some reason, Janeane Garofalo said 'no.'" (You're the Worst, S04E04)
  • "Jack FM, like if the worst kid in detention had sex with radio station." (You're the Worst, S04E04)
  • Friday Night Lights (Channel Zero, S02E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

38. All possible viewing angles of the dock (American Vandal, S01E02)


Stray Observations

  • ♫: Vince Staples – "Big Fish" (Insecure, S02E08)
  • ♫: TOBi – "Hidden Fences" (Insecure, S02E08)
  • ♫: Opening with Tyler, the Creator and closing with Frank Ocean (Insecure, S02E08)
  • Insecure Season Grade: B-
  • Preacher Season Grade: C-
  • "That's the pistol Nicole used in Cold Mountain." (American Horror Story, S07E02)
  • "Lesbians! We're under attack!" (American Horror Story, S07E02)
  • "He even went to Standing Rock with Matt McGorry. They got into a fight over who's more woke."
    "It's Matt McGorry, right?"
    "Obviously." (You're the Worst, S04E03)
  • ♫: Nick Monaco – "Lovers Do" (You're the Worst, S04E03)


(You're the Worst, S04E03)

  • "Truth or dare?"
    "Umm…dare."
    "You have to put four Monopoly houses up your vagina."
    "That's the same as a hotel."
    "Okay, or a hotel. You have to put four Monopoly houses or a hotel up your vagina."
    [pause]
    "What? You said 'dare.'" (Better Things, S02E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

37. Ball and Glove (Twin Peaks, S03E17)


Stray Observations

  • "You've gone soft in your old age."
    "Not where it counts, buddy." (Twin Peaks, S03E17)
  • "Catch you…with my death bag." (Twin Peaks, S03E17)
  • "One for the grandkids." (Twin Peaks, S03E17)
  • "It's a good thing we made so many sandwiches." (Twin Peaks, S03E17)
  • "See you at the curtain call." (Twin Peaks, S03E17)
  • Disposing of guns in a deep fryer (Twin Peaks, S03E18)
  • The woman in Laura Palmer's house is played by the woman who owns the house in real life (Twin Peaks, S03E18)
  • Twin Peaks Season Grade: B
  • "I'm-a spray his face with cum eggs." (Insecure, S02E07)
  • Garrett's buttery ranch and caramel crisp popcorn (Insecure, S02E07)
  • "Must've been a sale on denim." (Insecure, S02E07)
  • Más Malo (Insecure, S02E07)
  • "I wasn't staring at it, Cassidy. I was noticing it."
    "Noticing the floor finger without a wonder in the world." (Preacher, S02E12)
  • "That's a pretty far-fetched theory, Cassidy, even for you."
    "I'm telling you, mate. If you watch that movie again, you'll see. Tyler Durden does exist."
    "You're saying the twist to Fight Club is there is no twist?"
    "Exactly."
    "How do you figure that?"
    "Because nobody listens to ugly people, padre. If you're gonna inspire an anti-materialistic organization with worldwide designs on erasing global debt, you gotta look like Brad Pitt."
    "Well, hold on now. I wouldn't exactly call Edward Norton ugly."
    […]
    "…instrumental in 37 covert Dutch ops just this last year alone."
    "Dutch ops?"
    "Oh, yeah!"
    "Well, the Dutch foreskin plant must be booming."
    "Every country doesn't have their own foreskin plant. The Netherlands are the leading consumers in the foreskin market – 10 to 1. They buy so much of the shite. Half goes to waste, so they end up they sneaking the excess into toothpaste and into baby formula. Like how Brad Pitt, how he sells the fat lady soap to rich ladies."
    "You mean Edward Norton?"
    "No, I mean Brad Pitt, because he does exist. Look, the point is, the Netherlands are like a sexy Tyler Durden and someone's gotta stop them."
    "Come on, Cass. That can't be true."
    "Widespread reports – substantiated reports, to be honest."
    "Well, if it makes it taste better, then what's the harm in it?"
    "It's foreskin into baby formula!" (Preacher, S02E12)
  • "Try some of this."
    [coughs]
    "What? Too much Neosporin?" (Preacher, S02E12)
  • Dan Quayle book (Preacher, S02E12)
  • Evan Peters humping his television (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "Oh, go to hell, Huffington Post! Fuck you, Nate Silver!" (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "And who's at 40,000 votes and counting? Jill Stein!" (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "Why is wrong with CNN for not giving us a trigger warning before they announced the results?" (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • Evan Peters with blended cheese puffs on his face (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "There is nothing more dangerous in this world than a humiliated man." (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "When I got into the booth, I couldn't do it. I tried! You know that I did! But as much as I hate him, I didn't trust her!"
    "But Jill Stein?" (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • "Proudest moment of my life is when Lena Dunham retweeted me." (American Horror Story, S07E01)
  • ♫: Esther Holt – "What You Know" (You're the Worst, S04E01)
  • ♫: The Cranberries – "Zombie" (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • "It was just a long con to prank me by someone who I did wrong – probably Jason Mraz for when I called him a fedora-wearing diarrhea." (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • "I could read people like a deck of cards, and you're holding the Q of clovers." (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • ♫: Barenaked Ladies – "One Week" (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • "She Canada-rapped at me." (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • ♫: Caveboy – "Home Is Where" (You're the Worst, S04E02)
  • ♫: Lee Moses – "California Dreaming" (Snowfall, S01E10)
  • Snowfall Season Grade: C
  • "I put all of the death metal CDs on one shelf, from the simple bands like Obituary and Cannibal Corpse on the left, to melodic and technical death in the middle, followed by death/black and grind/death and death cross-overs, and then I put the industrial death, folk death, and barely death at the end. And then, the next shelf was for black metal through the whole Norwegian scene, like Mayhem and Burzum, through the un-black, and then the not-really-black-but-sorta-fits, like Cradle of Filth." (Halt and Catch Fire, S04E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


36. Televised Murder (WWE Raw, 08-28-17)


Stray Observations

  • ♫: Eddie Vedder (Twin Peaks, S03E16)
  • ♫: "Audrey's Dance" in reverse (Twin Peaks, S03E16)
  • Theon invulnerable to a crotch kick (Game of Thrones, S07E07)
  • Snowfall (Game of Thrones, S07E07)
  • "What happened to you beyond the Wall?"
    "I became the Three-Eyed Raven."
    "Oh! [pause] I don't know what that means." (Game of Thrones, S07E07)
  • "You saw this in a vision?"
    [Bran holds up scroll]
    "Oh." (Game of Thrones, S07E07)
  • Game of Thrones Season Grade: B-
  • West Boast shirt (Insecure, S02E06)
  • ♫: HERO – "The Juice" (Insecure, S02E06)
  • ♫: NAO – "Feels Like" (Insecure, S02E06)
  • "Uh, Issa?"
    [Issa nods]
    "Issa carpool!" (Insecure, S02E06)
  • "Hey, can you change it to a black station?" (Insecure, S02E06)
  • "Hey, Rick, are you familiar with 'ben wa' technology?" (Rick and Morty, S03E06)
  • ♫: Chaos Chaos – TerryFold [feat. Justin Roiland] (Rick and Morty, S03E06)
  • "I hear Vancouver's great, you know? It's got good meth and nice hiking." (Preacher, S02E11)
  • "She like the new Jeff." (MasterChef, S08E14)
  • "I've seen more appetizing diapers." (MasterChef, S08E14)
  • "I've been meaning to get this."
    "It's a book a dog wrote." (The Tick, S01E04)
  • "Arthur, this man is having an argument with his boat."
    "Excuse me, blue person. I'm not his boat. We just live together." (The Tick, S01E05)
  • "Alexa, play ominous music" (The Tick, S01E06)
  • The Tick Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Rick and Morty

#clipoftheweek