Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


22. Hold the door (Game of Thrones, S06E05)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Mom! Don't eat the shoulder cheese!" (Bob's Burgers, S06E18)
  • Smash cut to a penis (Game of Thrones, S06E05)


(Game of Thrones, S06E05)


RT: This is the first thing said to Hodor when Hodor first appears on GAME OF THRONES. (Game of Thrones, S06E05)

  • "Ain't nobody want to live in a world without girl-on-girl action and ground beef." (The Carmichael Show, S02E12)
  • "Just to be clear, if I turn on the parental control setting, I can block the lesbians and still stream Ellen?" (The Carmichael Show, S02E12)
  • "I hate this stupid toilet that Felix put in here. It doesn't even have a seat!"
    "It's Swiss."
    "It's like a really nice prison toilet." (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • "I'm not dying. I'm just getting my butt skin ripped off so I can be in a magazine." (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • "Bob got stuck on a toilet and all I got was a great slice of pizza from Jimmy Pesto's" shirt (Bob's Burgers, S06E19)
  • Bob's Burgers Season Grade: C
  • The Burp King of Westchester! (Preacher, S01E01)
  • The sales employees playing lacrosse (Silicon Valley, S03E05)
  • "It really hurts to roll my eyes." (Veep, S05E05)
  • "Ain't no challenge been invited Jonah Ryan can't do."
    "Ice bucket challenge. You backed out of that."
    "Ice bucket challenge can suck my dick."
    "Well, it did raise a lot of awareness for whatever ALS is." (Veep, S05E05)
  • Square One Television (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "Eddie, here's the thing: We all want Alison to say the punchline to the crack joke. Alison wants to say the punchline to the crack joke." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "It's a Chinese polite fight. You're never supposed to give in." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "We recorded a more age-appropriate program for you to watch."
    [Mama's Family opening credits]
    "Ah-ha! Those hayseeds!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "You said 'yes'?"
    "In the middle of a Chinese polite fight?!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "Who knows what my life could have become? Maybe we would have sat next to my mullet at the restaurant." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "I'm just glad he [Chris Rock] doesn't do lame Asian jokes." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • "The Browns are leaving Cleveland." – well-played slow play (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • RT: "Much wobbling in the '95-'97 zone in this one…Cleveland Browns '95, Bring the Pain '96, Backstreet Boys got famous… (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E24)
  • Fresh Off the Boat Season Grade: B-
  • The Night Manager Season Grade: C


(Lady Dynamite, S01E06)

  • "You know what deflation is? Ambition just leaving your body." (Lady Dynamite, S01E06)
  • "It's chapter two in my book – Keepin' It Carol, Carol Simples."
    "Oh, that's fun that you didn't go with the obvious pun."
    "What do you mean?"
    "Keepin' It Simples."
    "Oh, my God! I left it on the table. Shit! Fuck! What am I gonna do with all those fucking mugs?"
    […]
    "It is a calendar for ladies called a 'palendar.'"
    "You didn't go for 'galendar'?"
    "[straining] What in the shiiiiiiiit, Carrrooolll!" (Lady Dynamite, S01E08)


Adrian Zmed (Lady Dynamite, S01E08)

  • Apple's "1984" ad? Apple's "1984" ad (Lady Dynamite, S01E10)
  • Lady Dynamite Season Grade: C-

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Game of Thrones
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


21. Fred Poets Society (Saturday Night Live, S41E21)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Torienne (Game of Thrones, S06E04)
  • Daario's trucker mudflap dagger (Game of Thrones, S06E04)
  • The Last Man on Earth Season Grade: C-
  • "It tasted like a big ol' mouthful of divorce." (Cutthroat Kitchen, S12E07)
  • "Compromise is the shared hypotenuse of the Conjoined Triangles of Success." (Silicon Valley, S03E04)
  • "You're gonna cancel this recount like Anne Frank's bat mitzvah." (Veep, S05E04)
  • "Why would China go through Qatar?"
    "Qataris love to insert themselves. They're wet-fingered."
    "They're into ass play?"
    "No, they have a gift for sensing prevailing political winds."
    "I bet they're into ass play too." (Veep, S05E04)
  • Louis C.K. wins (Jeopardy!, 05-18-16)
  • Rhonda straightaway choking Anika (Empire, S02E18)
  • Xzibit (Empire, S02E18)
  • ♫: Desiigner – "Panda" (Empire, S02E18)
  • "Why would you listen to a crackhead?" (Empire, S02E18)
  • Empire Season Grade: D
  • Black-ish Season Grade: C+
  • PMS Bites? (Shark Tank, S07E29)
  • "Maneesh, you're an asshole. Get of the fuck outta here. Fuck you." (Shark Tank, S07E29)
  • Shark Tank Season Grade: C
  • "Nothing good happens in basements." (Banshee, S04E08)
  • Banshee Season Grade: D
  • Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C-
  • "Pound a taquito, dawg, and relax." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E02)
  • "Comedians don't always have to be on, but you also want to give a little bit more than Rob Reiner." (Lady Dynamite, S01E02)
  • "Hello, you've reached Jack Tripper at Wilkins and Marshall, a division of the Three Company." (Lady Dynamite, S01E04)
  • Maria dates Brandon Routh in S01E04 and Dean Cain in E05 – back-to-back Supermen (Lady Dynamite)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

20. The Day After (The Americans, S04E09)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • A gay boy whose sexuality is unacknowledged (Bob's Burgers, S06E16)
  • "The true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms." (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • A fart joke (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • "My watch has ended." (Game of Thrones, S06E03)
  • "This meeting cannot make it past the school book depository."
    "I'm loading my gun and heading to the sixth floor." (Veep, S05E03)
  • "This is like that famous scene from the movie Heat. You know, with De Niro and Brenneman." (Veep, S05E03)
  • "Take your romance, and your memories, which are a most kind fiction, and go." (Penny Dreadful, S03E02)
  • "There's only seven types of stories: Man vs. man, man vs. dog, dog vs. zombie, James Bond, stories of kings and lords, women over 50 finding themselves after divorce, aaaand car commercial." (New Girl, S05E21)
  • ♫: Langhorne Slim and the Law – "Changes" (New Girl, S05E21)


(Grandfathered, S01E22)

  • Grandfathered Season Grade: C
  • New Girl Season Grade: C
  • The Grinder Season Grade: C
  • "Oh, and watch out. My sister has herpes." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "A real dog can always tell a fake bitch." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "How do you know I ain't turn him into my little bitch? He came on to me. I ain't come on to him."
    "Exactly. I bet you he's on top." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "The day you die from AIDS, I'm gon' celebrate." (Empire, S02E17)
  • "Does he look fat?"
    "The TV adds 10 pounds. Plus, he broke his diet." (Empire, S02E17)


(Empire, S02E17)

  • "Why would you undo all the good that you've done? Don't Phantom Menace yourself." (Black-ish, S02E23)
  • ♫: Rae Sremmurd – Unlock the Swag (Black-ish, S02E23)
  • Straight-up porn! (The Americans, S04E09)
  • ♫: Yaz – "Winter Kills" (The Americans, S04E09)
  • ♫: Deutschland 83's theme music (The Americans, S04E09)
  • "My bush looks like I'm sitting on Jerry Garcia's face." (Archer, S07E07)
  • "We're taking him to a strip club."
    "Give my regards to all the molestees." (Archer, S07E07)
  • "I suppose this is as attractive as these two are ever going to be."
    "Unless we can find some mole's blood."
    "I have some. Oh, wait, this is vole's blood." (Archer, S07E07)
  • The Amazing Race Season Grade: D-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


19. Still Life (NBA on TNT, 05-04-16)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


(Game of Thrones, S06E02)

  • "How do you know this?"
    "That's what I do. I drink and I know things." (Game of Thrones, S06E02)
  • "I feel like Pablo" hoodie (The Carmichael Show, S02E09)
  • "I'm sorry, but she was very mean. She called me 'Triscuit.'"
    "What does that mean?"
    "Brown cracker." (The Carmichael Show, S02E09)
  • "We used to have a million nicknames for this guy. We called him 'Fatty Dicksuckle' and 'B-B-Benny and the Jizz'… 'Buttfucker.'"
    "Buttfucker – that's me." (Veep, S05E02)
  • Kent trying to establish Sue's age (Veep, S05E02)
  • "I'm not that kind of a president." (Veep, S05E02)
  • "He fucked me, and then he fucked me? What is he, trying to fuck me?" (Veep, S05E02)
  • Dr. Frankenstein and Mr. Hyde (Penny Dreadful, S03E01)
  • …and Dracula (Penny Dreadful, S03E01)
  • "It's a little Kardashian." – Richard Blais describing a pasta dish (Cutthroat Kitchen, S12E10)
  • The cannibal's lip-licking/smacking (Mr. Pickles, S02E03)
  • "Now go to N'awlins, you nosy bitch." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E22)
  • "'Hey, you guys, let's help poor people.' I don't remember saying that."
    "Hey, so, you ready to get up there?"
    "Oh, I don't know. I thought these Jimmy-isms would help me crack the eulogy, but… I know I said more profound things. I don't ever remember being this obsessed with side boob." (Grandfathered, S01E21)
  • "You wouldn't make a dime as a French whore."
    "You would make zero dollars."
    "I'd make millions. Millions. Bonjour. Croissant. Millions." (New Girl, S05E20)
  • "He just shows up out of the boo, and then all of a sudden, expects—"
    "Blue. It's blue."
    "Well, thanks, Eistein." (New Girl, S05E20)
  • "If it goes poorly, I'm not putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. Also, nowhere in that rhyme does it say he's an egg."
    "He's most definitely an egg, Nick."
    "So what kind of king uses all those resources to put together one egg?"
    "It's a parable. Humpty Dumpty is the king."
    [pause]
    "Who told you that?" (New Girl, S05E20)
  • "As they say, 'wine is fine, but bourbon is shwourvon.'" (New Girl, S05E20)
  • Lucious sleeps in a do-rag (Empire, S02E16)
  • This episode is titled "The Magic of David Copperfield V: The Statue of Liberty Disappears" (The Americans, S04E08)
  • Flash forward! (The Americans, S04E08)


(Archer, S07E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

18. Boys in the hoods (United Shades of America, S01E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Fuck everyone who isn't us." (Game of Thrones, S06E01)
  • "Working class people don't get depression. Depression is a luxury of wealth and free time."
    "Depression is a disease of the opulent." (The Carmichael Show, S02E08)
  • "Your braids and aggressive demeanour tell us you've been through a lot of pain." (The Carmichael Show, S02E08)
  • "Hi, and welcome to the White Youth Focus TV show." (United Shades of America, S01E01)
  • "We don't think making Harrison more like West Africa is an improvement." (United Shades of America, S01E01)
  • "Did you guys put the sign up?"
    "Yeah–no." (United Shades of America, S01E01)


(Silicon Valley, S03E01)

  • "I'm a big fan."
    "Oh, really? Of what? Metamucil? Polio? The phonograph? A nice piece of fish? Segregated water fountains? Senior citizen discounts at Perkins family restaurants? Erectile dysfunction because of corroded penile arteries? Deviled eggs as an entrée? [pause] Liking Ike?" (Silicon Valley, S03E01)
  • "With your help, we think we can cut our 'stache lag to just…20-millisecond motion-to-photon?" (Silicon Valley, S03E01)
  • "I don't think we're 'symposium on race' desperate yet…" (Veep, S05E01)
  • "I LBJ'd you, okay? I'm the LBJ queen." (Veep, S05E01)
  • "Catherine, why is that your hair?" (Veep, S05E01)
  • Bar wordplay – white Russian, logger, bloody Mary (Mr. Pickles, S02E02)
  • "I was just making a Pop Tart bagel sandwich. The Pop Tarts were the bread, and the bagel was the meat." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Yes, Frank, that's my name – seafood." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • Jalen Rose (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Bagel is a meat." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • Busta Rhymes with fake dreadlocks (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E20)
  • "Beans are nothing but soggy nuts." (New Girl, S05E17)
  • "Return of high Jess." (New Girl, S05E18)
  • "Stripper ass smells good." (Empire, S02E15)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

17. Tina singing "Just What I Needed" (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • RT: Watch Zeke's eyes drop to Tina's chest the moment he first appears in the episode (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)
  • "No one is gonna think you really hate kissing. Do people think Tony Danza is really the boss?"
    "I do… I mean, he's at least a boss…" (Bob's Burgers, S06E14)
  • Ring finger middle finger (The Last Man on Earth, S02E15)


(WWE Raw, 04-18-16)

  • Better Call Saul Season Grade: B
  • "I should've known Agent Wheelan was dirty. There were signs. He wore a V-neck once."
    "Bob! You did nothing?!"
    "It's my greatest regret." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E23)
  • "Chocolate is the devil's carob."
    "And carob is Satan's raisin." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E23)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C+
  • "You're the only one I've been with after your father." (Empire, S02E14)


(Empire, S02E14)


(Archer, S07E04)

  • "Ashes to ashes, dust to side-chicks." (Lemonade)
  • RT: Beyoncé saw tree of life (Lemonade)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

16. "Let's break into the FBI." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E22)

Like the diner scene in Heat.


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


(The Last Man on Earth, S02E14)

  • Lol at that cut to end credits (The Magicians, S01E13)
  • The Magicians Season Grade: D
  • "He appears to be rifling through Clown Boobies magazine." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E22)
  • "Uhh, actually, that, that's my lint. My lint is oblong. My lint is blue." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E22)
  • "I don't get it. Miranda could have had Blair Underwood, but she settles for Steve?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E22)
  • "Oh, Bob…" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E22)
  • RT: "The latest The Grinder is so relentlessly meta and brilliant it may have shattered television comedy for generations" (The Grinder, S01E19)
  • "The woman, though. She was great."
    "I love her dry delivery."
    "Yeah, I want to see more of her." (The Grinder, S01E19)
  • "So, I got some feedback from some girls at school, and apparently, half of them don't even know who I am."
    "Well, my friends kept it pretty positive, mostly asking for more of some stuff, but nothing I can't deliver on."
    "Lizzie, you're forgettable. We know that now. So the question becomes 'what are we going to do about it?'" (The Grinder, S01E19)
  • ♫: The Builders and the Butchers – "Golden and Green" (Banshee, S04E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


15. Conan Stars In North Korea's First Late Night Talk Show (Conan in Korea)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Michael Cole: "C'mon, Byron, Xavier's hair, he's obviously Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z. Don't you know anything?" (WrestleMania 32)
  • Shaq entering the ring to "Panda" (WrestleMania 32)



Stephanie McMahon (WrestleMania 32)


The Masturbatorium (The Last Man on Earth, S02E13)

  • "I was just wondering if you could perform a little bro-to-bro solid. Well, more of a gelatinous than a solid, really. Could you masturbate into this cup for me?"
    "Absolutely. A friend needs semen, he gets semen. What's the time frame on this? It's just, the well's running a little dry. I could give you pee. Would pee help?" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E13)
  • "Then I'm the biggest bastard on Earth."
    "Todd, stop it. That title is reserved for Erica's baby." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E13)
  • Carol's pronunciation of "groin" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E13)
  • Erica's pronunciation of "khakis" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E13)
  • Lost music (The Walking Dead, S06E16)
  • "Gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon." (The Walking Dead, S06E16)
  • The Walking Dead Season Grade: F
  • RT: Of all the Chicago fuck-ups on Shameless, having very old Duke audio for that DePaul and Northwestern game is the most personal (Shameless, S06E12)
  • Shameless Season Grade: D
  • "OJ was here." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E10)
  • "We got a real rager planned." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E10)
  • The nudity is Cuba Gooding Jr.'s butt (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E10)
  • The People v. O.J. Simpson Season Grade: B+
  • "So, Mimi Whiteman and her wife?"
    "Look, we gonna get them a real nice wedding present. You know, a couple of dildos." (Empire, S02E12)
  • "Look, I'm meeting with the PR team. I will have them come up with a clever way to get the gays back behind you."
    "Shouldn't take a PR team. Just drop your drawers, brother." (Empire, S02E12)
  • ♫: Run the Jewels – "Run the Jewels" (Empire, S02E12)
  • "Never put your baseball hat on straight. You always cock it to the side. But don't cock it too far. You're a Johnson, not a Wayans." (Black-ish, S02E19)
  • ♫: Dorothy Moore – "Misty Blue" (The Americans, S04E04)
  • Nina! (The Americans, S04E04)


(Banshee, S04E02)

  • Adam Scott and Jon Daly playing Adam Scott and John Daly (The Adult Swim Golf Classic)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

14. Undersea Hotel (Saturday Night Live, S41E16)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • RT: Four minutes in and this is definitely Brian's Emmy episode (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E18)
  • "I bet he got lice from sleeping over at Dave's. All that orange soda made his blood sweet and then the lice came."
    "I don't think drinking soda gives you lice."
    "You're telling me lice see an innocent child in a dirty home drinking a sweet soda and they don't want in on that? Lice live for that. They're the pedophiles of the insect world." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E18)
  • ♫: Outkast – "Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E18)
  • "He's getting saner by the minute. In a month, he'll basically just be Frasier."
    "Don't use Frasier's name in vain." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E20)
  • "I don't understand. How can you teach screenwriting if you can't sell a script?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E09)
  • "We're in the South. Haven't you noticed the smell of mint julep and condescension?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E09)
  • "She reprimanded him for writing 'KKK' on a Martin Luther King poster." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E09)
  • "This is my goddamn company. I built it from nothing, and I'll be damned if somebody gon' take me away from it."
    "Hey, Lucious. I'm down. [pulls out gun] 'kay? I mean, I am down. [pulls out another gun]" (Empire, S02E11)
  • "You can't have Hakeem, bitch."
    "I already did." (Empire, S02E11)
  • William sprinting away from Philip as soon as he realizes what's going on (The Americans, S04E02)
  • Philip spitting in William's eye (The Americans, S04E02)
  • "Pam, if a single one of these has left this building, I will personally sew you into a canvas bag full of rats and throw that bag into the river."
    "What river? It's a concrete slab!" (Archer, S07E01)
  • "And since the front of the house by the road is guarded 24/7, you're gonna have to go in from the rear."
    [pause]
    "No, you all took it for granted." (Archer, S07E01)
  • Sarah Palin 2012 shirt (Banshee, S04E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

13. Martin vs. Seinfeld (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E09)


Honourable Mention

  • Arby's meltdown (Baskets, S01E10)

Stray Observations


(Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)

  • RT: Jesus administering communion at the last supper singing "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • RT: Chris Daughtry as Judas singing Evanescence "Wake Me Up Inside" as he decides to sell out Jesus (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • RT: Peter denies Jesus three times while singing Hoobastank's "The Reason" (Tyler Perry's The Passion, 03-20-16)
  • Eugene's distraction (Shameless, S06E14)
  • Carl and Winslow (Shameless, S06E10)
  • "But you haven't even touched your penis!" (The Magicians, S01E10)
  • "What is my dad doing at our front door?"
    "He thinks we're going on a date. I'll get rid of him. Go to your room and close the door."
    "Do not tell me what to do! You are not my mom!" (New Girl, S05E12)
  • "In my defense, I was stoned for most of the '90s, and the 2000s. Full disclosure: I was stoned this morning. I like weed." (New Girl, S05E12)
  • "What is a Seinfeld?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Man, Seinfeld ain't about nothing." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • The cut to O.J. recounting a Seinfeld joke (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "You know how ladies can get." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • ♫: The Folk Implosion – "Natural One" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Her husband raped her twice."
    "Actually, it wasn't legally rape in '88. I mean, between a husband and wife."
    "You just said that – out loud." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "Toughen up, Cochran. This is a smoker's lounge. Daycare's on the first floor." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "The deputies, they're not fair. The white jurors get better treatment than us. When they took us out shopping, they gave them an hour at Target and only gave us 30 minutes at Ross."
    "Them… Us…?"
    "They know that blacks like Ross more!"
    "Is that true?"
    "Of course it is. Everybody knows that."
    Johnnie: "It's true." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • Susan Beaubian, who plays madam foreman Armanda Cooley, starred as Mrs. Nordberg, wife of O.J. Simpson's Nordberg in the 1988 Naked Gun movie (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "I pray to the Lord sweet baby black Jesus, you put me on hold one more time, negro." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "I hear you take your coffee black." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "O.J. tip line." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • RT: He underlined "frame niggers" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E08)
  • "You have a cute science teacher?" (The Americans, S04E02)
  • Top Chef Gregory (Portlandia, S06E10)
  • Kai Ryssdal (Portlandia, S06E10)
  • Portlandia Season Grade: D-
  • "Is she having a stroke?"
    "No, she's not having a stroke."
    "You should have a stroke…" (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "Responsibility, community, hard work, sliced meats." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "This is Sebastian. He used to be the nurse to the Chemical Brothers' mother." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "I found a dead sea turtle in my curly fries." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • "You're Arby's family now, my man, and Arby takes care of his own." (Baskets, S01E10)
  • Odd boxcar green-screening (Baskets, S01E10)
  • Baskets Season Grade: A-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets


Looking ahead:

Dumping Orphan Black.

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

12. Stairwell Fight (Daredevil, S02E03)


Honourable Mention

  • Mandy/Ian/Lip/Carl (Shameless, S06E09)

Stray Observations

  • "They look sweet, but they're full of farts – just like the kids." (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "Can I borrow some cotton balls to re-stuff my obesity puppet, Portion Control Joel?" (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "It's a strain of lice that's evolved to be treatment-resistant. Every time it's not completely destroyed, it comes back even stronger."
    "Like Mark Harmon." (Bob's Burgers, S06E10)
  • "Has there ever been a singer with the last name Brown who didn't hit a girl? Chris, Bobby, James…" (The Carmichael Show, S02E02)
  • "I didn't know all of the words to 'Candle in the Wind,' so in the middle, I switched to 'Rocket Man.'" (The Carmichael Show, S02E03)
  • ♫: Bronze Radio Return – "Where I'm Coming From" (Shameless, S06E09)
  • Chuckie = Kim Bauer (Shameless, S06E09)
  • "Phil Miller got knocked down, and this time, he did not get up again. We raise a whiskey drink, we raise a vodka drink." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • RT: how Tandy spent a good 10 seconds tuning the guitar only to use it to tap out a rhythm (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • Gail pouring a bottle of wine into a Big Gulp (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "You're no viking; you're a sucking!" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "I think we might get back together."
    [pause]
    "I have diarrhea. Bye." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "We have this saying in Australia."
    "I know, I know. 'That's not a knife; this is a knife.'" (The Last Man on Earth, S02E12)
  • "How do you fact-check bluster?" (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, 03-14-16)
  • Norma kissing Norman (Bates Motel, S04E02)


(Bates Motel, S04E02)

"Cece, that sweatshirt has a wine stain on it, and an off-brand Looney Tunes character. George Bunny?" (New Girl, S05E11)

  • "I'm gonna go get some breakfast candy." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E19)
  • RT: Marcia said she needed a vacation and Darden invites her to a bar in Oakland? (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • RT: o.j. took some penthouses for the road. (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "What are you up to, Bob? Why you be half-steppin'?"
    "I don't know what that means." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "Put me in, coach!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E07)
  • "I hate that we have to support Jack as a family. There are so many other things I'd rather do – learn to use chopsticks, elective toe surgery, watch an episode of Girls…" (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • "I've decided on gazpacho. It's the king of soups."
    "She said 'king of soups'?! Pssh. Kind of salsa…" (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • "I was done cooking for them."
    "Hey, what did you cook?! It was chunky V8, and you know it." (Black-ish, S02E17)
  • Top Chef Season Grade: D
  • "So how many times are you urinating a day?"
    "Like, 12-and-a-half." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • Trump Wine (Baskets, S01E09)
  • "[sigh] I'll try the limited time yellow squirt, please." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • "I asked for a waffle fries, but they look like criss-cut."
    "I think they're the same thing, maybe."
    "Well… Not if you know fries." (Baskets, S01E09)
  • Workaholics Season Grade: F
  • RT: the Irish mafia's dinner literally just being corned beef, cabbage and potatoes. (Daredevil, S02E01)
  • Dogs of Hell? (Daredevil, S02E01)
  • RT: Punisher goes to a seedy, criminal-serving pawn shop… And there's a Potbelly Sandwich joint across the street. (Daredevil, S02E02)
  • Artificial battle in the rain (Daredevil, S02E02)
  • Daredevil Season Grade: D

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

11. Imaginary Meal (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "On the count of three, jump into your high chair."
    "Is this how babies do it?"
    "Fun babies…" (Bob's Burgers, S06E09)
  • "Where are the napkins?"
    "Do you mean the paper towel roll?" (Bob's Burgers, S06E09)
  • "Deez Knots." (The Last Man on Earth, S02E11)
  • Rick Fox as the scary-looking black man (Shameless, S06E08)
  • ♫: Bosshouse Music – "Midnight Atrophy" (Shameless, S06E08)
  • Stardust: "Are– Are you guys talking about a hand job?" (The Edge and Christian Show That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness!, S01E04)
  • "All we gotta do is, we gotta keep 'em separated."
    [pause]
    "You know, like the song? Huge song. Millions sold." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E15)
  • "Is Marcia Clark a bitch or a babe?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "When I want to hear from you, I'll rattle my zipper!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • ♫: Seal – "Kiss From a Rose" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "Excuse me for interrupting this…black thing." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)


(The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)

  • ♫: Portishead – "Sour Times" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • "Uh oh. I guess the defense is in for one hell of a week, huh?" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • O.J.'s defense team drinking at the bar from New Girl (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)
  • F. Lee Bailey drinking from a Solo cup in court (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)


(The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E06)

  • "You have plenty of life experience. You, uhh, you took the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge…" (The Carmichael Show, S02E01)
  • "Is this one of these young people things, like believing that Bernie Sanders is a viable candidate?" (The Carmichael Show, S02E01)
  • "She got her foot in my raw chicken! Get your hooker's foot out of my chicken, man!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Is it okay if I just confess something, get it off my chest, before we die?"
    "That's a good idea. We shouldn't die holding things in about ourselves. Go ahead, Dee."
    "Mac owns a Cowboys jersey. I saw him wearing it in the back office."
    "WHAT?!"
    "Don't say it's Romo."
    "Of course it's Romo! Who else would it be?!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Onion!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "We should die thinking good thoughts. For me, that's Romo connecting with Dez for the win." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • "Amazing Grace / How sweet the sauce." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E10)
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season Grade: C+
  • Man Seeking Woman Season Grade: C
  • "What it was isn't how it is." (American Crime, S02E10)
  • American Crime Season Grade: C


(Portlandia, S06E08)

  • "That's bad."
    "Yeah, it's really, really bad. This is way, way less than Jake." (Workaholics, S06E09)
  • "Do you want me to bring a picture of you and Dale too?"
    "Yeah, maybe there's a photo of us when we were still cute."
    "About how far back would that be?"
    "The '70s. Early '70s." (Baskets, S01E08)
  • "There's a lady on the girls team! She's probably German too!" (Baskets, S01E08)
  • Ariana Grande's Jennifer Lawrence impression (Saturday Night Live, S41E15)


"Maria out." (Saturday Night Live, S41E15)


Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

10. Missing (Man Seeking Woman Woman Seeking Man, S02E09)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • A man cave-themed episode with William Shatner as judge (Cutthroat Kitchen, S11E14)
  • An Irish actor playing a Russian (The Magicians, S01E07)
  • "Why don't you two just fuh?"
    […]
    "Why are you both determined to be so fuh-ing bland?" – Syfy censoring just the "ck" (The Magicians, S01E07)


(The Magicians, S01E07)

  • "Bonjour, Captain. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
    "No, I don't want to sleep with you."
    "Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E18)
  • Johnnie pulled over outside of Diddy Riese (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Judas." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Brother, I ain't trying to be respectful. I'm trying to win." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Nigga please." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "In the '70s, when I was in law school, affirmative action was a big deal."
    "I remember."
    "No, you don't. You're white." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Everybody loves my house! It was in Sunset magazine!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "How many blacks did you actually consider a friend?"
    "AC! And he's darker than I am!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • RT: "they got o.j.'s house looking like the kwame nkrumah museum or something." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Get off my bench." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Whatever happens, don't do Fuhrman. Make the white people do him." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E05)
  • "Cancer is gonna become the leading cause of death for Americans as early as 2030." (Weediquette, S01E01)
  • "Watch while I turn these spades into stars." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E09)
  • Mac: "Well, I'm gay." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E09)
  • "I'm so fuckin' happy. Everything just changed."
    "I am just thrilled and ecstatic. With Tim and Joe's help, we're gonna take over this world one burger at a time."
    "After conducting due diligence, Joe and Tim decided an investment in GastroPod was too risky. Meanwhile, Jeremiah and Carla have closed their mall location and put their expansion plans on hold." (Restaurant Startup, S03E09)
  • Restaurant Startup Season Grade: B
  • "That's how a dirty fighter does it. They throw cocaine in your eyes." (Baskets, S01E07)
  • Kirkland sweatshirts (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "If you're a clown, you're a clown. If you ain't, what are you?"
    "I guess I'm a Martha." (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "If I pull over, I have to break cruise control. Is it worth it?" (Baskets, S01E07)
  • "When you guys are done fingerbanging that kiwi, can I get it? I'm starving."
    "You got it." (Workaholics, S06E08)

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: The People v. O.J. Simpson
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


9. Shane McMahon returns (WWE Raw, 02-22-16)


Stray Observations


(Shameless, S06E07)


(Shameless, S06E07)

  • Ian dancing (Shameless, S06E07)
  • Armed and naked (The Walking Dead, S06E10)
  • "You still morally flexible?" (Better Call Saul, S02E02)
  • "Hoboken Squat Cobbler. […] Dutch Apple Ass."
    "What the hell is a Squat Cobbler?"
    "It's when a man sits in pie. He sits in a pie, and he wiggles around. […] Technically, he does Crybaby Squats, so there's tears." (Better Call Saul, S02E02)


(WWE Raw, 02-22-16)


"Dang, fool. Even by Chinese standards you're a nerd."
"My backpack doesn't agree with you." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E14)

  • "Flight attendants don't even get a seat on the plane! They walk back and forth pushing a cart! They're the homeless of the sky!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E14)
  • "Are you afraid, Stacy? Are you afraid of my pog hand?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E14)
  • "How are you still shaving?"
    "I'm doing full body, Winston. I started from the bottom, now I'm here." (New Girl, S05E08)
  • "Be careful."
    "Oh, don't worry about me. I'll be invisible. Now you see me, now you—" [starts car, "Call Me Maybe" blasts] (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E17)
  • "People exchange flash drives at all hours." (The Grinder, S01E16)
  • The music when O.J. enters his plea + his thumbs up (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "She loved to give a Brentwood Hello."
    "I'm sorry, a Brenthood Hello?"
    "It was a little joke we had, where she would go into a guy's bedroom while he was asleep and, you know, give, go down on him." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "Black women don't like you."
    "What? No, no, that's idiotic. I have tried many, many cases in front of black women and won. I have a rapport with them. […] Some of those black women still write me letters!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "Faye's got it all wrong. That's not true. That's not true. …Okay, that's true." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "Lesbian sex, 197." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "If these people convict me, maybe I did do it." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • ♫: Above the Law – "Black Superman" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E04)
  • "I loved Trainwreck."
    "Loved? Are you kidding me? That Marv Albert scene?"
    "So funny, right?"
    "What movie was that from?!" (Black-ish, S02E16)
  • "Lord knows I did not need to know about Peabo Bryson." (Black-ish, S02E16)
  • "You know I was a Panther."
    "You were a Bobcat!"
    "We were Panther adjacent. Still part of the radical cat family." (Black-ish, S02E16)
  • "Keep it light, you bitch." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E08)
  • "Leprechauns aren't real, so what we're dealing with here is a little person in a glue trap."
    […]
    "Dude, if he is a human being, he's gonna sue the shit out of us."
    "If he's a leprechaun, he's got a pot of gold."
    "Yeah— Well, yeah, that's…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E08)
  • "Do you realize what just happened? You made a wish, which the leprechaun clearly granted. You know, everyone knows you capture a leprechaun, you get three wishes, right? So we gotta think very carefully what our next two are here."
    "I wish I could live forever!"
    "What are you doing?! I wish you don't! How about that?!"
    "No! No! Why did you do that?!"
    "Why did you do that?!"
    "Why didn't you say, 'I wish I could live forever'?!"
    "And live forever with yooouuu?!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E08)
  • "I don't wanna be on your weird website!"
    "Well, if you don't comply with me, then you're gonna end up on the weird one." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E08)
  • "I went to the Rainbow to look for a pot of gold."
    "The gay bar?"
    "And when I got back, I found this bag full of wallets hidden where we keep the towels."
    "Why did you need towels?"
    "Not answering questions." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E08)
  • Destroying a SIM card with a garbage disposal (American Crime, S02E08)


(Top Chef, S13E12)

  • "Bri-an Hen-son! Bri-an Hen-son!" (Workaholics, S06E07)
  • "Look what your boys got for you." [a case of Dasani bottled water] (Baskets, S01E06)
  • "Dasani has really enhanced our brand." (Baskets, S01E06)
  • "I read an article about them, the Chemical Brothers. They used a rapper called Q-Tip."
    "Yeah."
    "What a cute name."
    "Why, was Kleenex not available?"
    [cricket chirping] (Baskets, S01E06)
  • "I don't know if your CD will appeal to her. She's more of an Aquafina lady." (Baskets, S01E06)
  • "Everyone, we have gotten invited to have pre-show hot dogs with the Chemical Brothers." (Baskets, S01E06)
  • Louie Anderson as a woman lying on a bed eating whipped cream with a spatula (Baskets, S01E06)
  • Colombia's national sport: tejo (The Amazing Race, S28E03)
  • ♫: FIDLAR! (Love, S01E06)
  • Gus' closing title song jam sessions are excruciating (Love, S01E08)
  • "I'm a witch. This is witch sex." (Love, S01E08)
  • Love Season Grade: D+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

8. Ground'd (American Crime, S02E07)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "What are you raising the money for?"
    "That's TBD. Either to help end hunger or repave the faculty parking lot."
    "Those are the big two."
    "Yeah, Sophie's choice. Sophie Martinson is the treasurer of the student council." (Bob's Burgers, S06E07)
  • "Wait, wait, wait. Don't hang up! I'm dying!" (Bob's Burgers, S06E07)
  • That wasn't a dream sequence? (The Walking Dead, S06E09)
  • "You killed Cancer Puppy." (The Magicians, S01E05)
  • The painting in Saul's office is street art in India (Better Call Saul, S02E01)


"Oh my God. Louis did it. He's raising his own veal." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E13)


(Fresh Off the Boat, S02E13)

  • "B-?!"
    "That's a Chinese F." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E13)
  • Tim Heidecker (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E13)
  • "I can't believe www.phillipgoldsteinhasbadopinions.com wasn't taken." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E13)
  • Andre Braugher's pronunciation of "rubber bands" / Holt beaming as he cuddles a bag of rubber bands (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "I know a real 'cool' when I hear one." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "Sweet wieners?"
    "It's a normal hot dog with a little chocolate sauce." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "I'm going undercover as Tex Dallas, billionaire oil man from Dallas, Texas with ties to the cowboy mafia."
    "Oh boy."
    "Hitchcock's my middleman, Reno Vegas, mobster from Reno, Las Vegas."
    "I said my 'oh boy' too soon." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "John played oboe for Lynne Cheney." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "That was a nightmare. I ate a Caesar salad wrap." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "Classical musicians are savages." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E16)
  • "I'm not black. I'm O.J.!" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E03)
  • Uncensored "motherfucker" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E03)
  • "Call the police! But before they come, you make sure they know a black man owns this house!" (Black-ish, S02E15)
  • "Suicide is not the answer usually." (Baskets, S01E05)
  • "Oo La La! Bar & Grill." (Baskets, S01E05)
  • "Nathaniel had accidentally fallen off that bridge while admiring the river." (Baskets, S01E05)
  • "Can I ask you a really important question?"
    "Sure."
    "Can I use your phone? There's someone else I'd rather talk to." (Baskets, S01E05)
  • GABRIEL IGLESIAS VS. RANDY COUTURE (Lip Sync Battle, S02E07)
  • Mr. Rosso and Mr. Kowchevski are flatmates (Love, S01E01)
  • "These Blu-rays have, like, exclusive, special features, ya bitch!" (Love, S01E02)
  • "Fuck you, Pleasantville!" (Love, S01E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


7. "Chris Christie" (Triumph's Election Special 2016)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Rancid's Tim Armstrong (The X-Files, S10E04)
  • "Shake It Off"? "Shake It Off." (The Magicians, S01E04)
  • Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E12)
  • Drake and Josh reunion (Grandfathered, S01E15)
  • "You remind me of my stepbrother. He's in jail for stalking Oprah." (Grandfathered, S01E15)
  • "The two of you had a baby together?"
    "Yeah."
    "How did this happen? What, did he Revenge of the Nerds you with a Darth Vader mask?"
    "Listen, Kirk, I don't know what you're insinuating here, because I've only seen Nerds in Paradise." (Grandfathered, S01E15)
  • "Fraud dog! Fraud dog!"
    "Juice Ellen! Juice Ellen!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E15)
  • "So What'cha Want" and "Sabotage" in the same night (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E15 / The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E02)
  • "It took everything in my power not to just, like, drive back and forth over their nasty little yoga bodies and hear the crunch of their little quinoa bones." (Black-ish, S02E14)
  • Dario Cueto (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E06)
  • "If you were her boyfriend, Rosa would be a whole lot happier."
    "Thank you. I appreciate that."
    "And…wouldn't be no mosque at Ground Zero." (Man Seeking Woman, S02E06)
  • "Neil Diamond's 'Easter in Bakersfield.'" (Baskets, S01E04)
  • Rickety Cricket (Baskets, S01E04)
  • "I have never missed an Easter brunch at the casino." (Baskets, S01E04)
  • "I wonder what happens to all this when it's over? Don't answer that. My freezers are full." (Baskets, S01E04)
  • "She's French? French-Canadian?"
    "No. She's French-France." (Baskets, S01E04)
  • Original music by Andrew Bird (Baskets, S01E04)
  • "Mexico has more museums than any other country in the world." (The Amazing Race, S28E01)
  • El DeBarge (Saturday Night Live, S41E13)
  • "If Senator Sanders is here, who's gonna bring Marty back to the future?" (Triumph's Election Special 2016)


(Triumph's Election Special 2016)


Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Baskets

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

6. Dirty Dancing (Saturday Night Live, S41E12)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Chicago Fire Island." (Shameless, S06E04)
  • ♫: Atlantic Line – "Voyage Home" (Shameless, S06E04)
  • "I told the officers it slithered off that way, but they think I'm on crack."
    "Are you?"
    "Yeah." (The X-Files, S10E03)


(The X-Files, S10E03)

  • "Smartphones…Is Us!" (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "I was reminded of this tale because of your suspect's delusion that when the moon appears, he would turn into a werewolf. I'm sorry, I meant 'were-lizard.' The werewolf was my patient on Monday." (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "I'm assuming that 'Guy Mann' is not a real name." (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "I didn't even get a chance to shoot blood out of my eyeballs!" (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "Now I possess the one Darwinian advantage that humans have over animals – the ability to BS my way through anything." (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "I quickly realized that the only way to be happy as a human was to spend all of your time in the company of non-humans." (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "Fox, man, you've got to put me out of my misery. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and have to go to work!" (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • Mulder's ringtone is The X-Files' theme song (The X-Files, S10E03)
  • "Did you commit a murder in here?"
    "A murder? On carpet? Come on." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E11)
  • "Tonight, to celebrate, the Huangs are going to Cattleman's Ranch for dinner. And this time, it's personal. Pan pizzas. You each get one." (Fresh Off the Boat, S02E11)
  • Directed by Bruce McCulloch (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E14)
  • "My babies are not stupid. Cagney can write a lowercase L."
    "It's just a line, right?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E14)
  • "She's very good at lip reading."
    "I wouldn't say I'm very good. I mean, deaf people, they're the real talents." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E14)
  • "Is what Tim Olyphant says true?" (The Grinder, S01E13)
  • "We have tickets to the premiere of I Love Trouble." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E01)


(The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E01)

  • "O.J., please, do not kill yourself in Kimmy's bedroom." (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E01)
  • ♫: Nina Simone – "I Shall Be Released" (The People v. O.J. Simpson, S01E01)
  • "I will slap you in the teeth." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E05)
  • "Seize the gap!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E05)
  • "Children play here, you fat cow!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E05)
  • The holes in the wall covered up (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E05)
  • Urinal cakes on the wall (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E05)
  • "Martha, you're embarrassing me in front of the barista." (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "I want to take an ad out in the yellow pages, but I want it to stand out. That's why I want it to be in the white pages." (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "He's an astronaut – eighth in line to go to space, if NASA ever gets off their rear end."
    "Well, good for him. I'm 20th in line to get a fuckin' corn dog tomorrow." (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "I miss the Reagans. They loved to go to space." (Baskets, S01E03)
  • Charo's son (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "I really want to get you a nectarine."
    "No, I don't want a nectarine."
    "Nectarine are good for the hair."
    "Who gives a shit?" (Baskets, S01E03)
  • Watching the 4K demo disc (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "What mental disease is this?" (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "Before we start the rodeo, please join us in the Lord's prayer, brought to you by Bank of America. Bank of America: Too big to fail." (Baskets, S01E03)
  • "I've got a poo disc in the freezer if you want it."
    "Oh my gosh, I thought that was a Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage." (Workaholics, S06E04)
  • Austin Mayor (Portlandia, S06E03)
  • "How did you know that was a hologram?"
    "I mean, I had seen Tupac in Coachella." (Conan, 02-04-16)
  • "That's a kid? He's got a happy trail! Check his pants! Check for pubes!"
    "No, we are absolutely not doing that!"
    "You're gonna let me drown, but you won't just do a simple pubes check?" (Saturday Night Live, S41E12)
  • "It's his month." (Saturday Night Live, S41E12)
  • Jessica Lange opining on Cam Newton (Horace and Pete, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

5. Naughty and Nice (Man Seeking Woman, S02E04)


Stray Observations

  • "It's a social media world out there, kids. It really is. You've got to trend. You've got to post. It's all about the hashtag. Groupon." (Grandfathered, S01E13)
  • "Don't pfff my peril!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E13)
  • "You found me – drinking seltzer in the shadows." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E13)
  • "I don't want to overstay my welcome if that's gonna stress you out."
    "It will, especially with…Mercury…in…retrograde." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E13)
  • Grieco Charlie (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E04)
  • Warhol Frank (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E04)
  • "I want to feel a little bit of sadness coming from your tits." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E04)
  • "I need a seaweed break." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E04)
  • "Santa Claus is coming to town." (Man Seeking Woman, S02E04)
  • "We all can't be florists or dishwashers. Some of us have to be artists." (Baskets, S01E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


4. Baskets Career College (Baskets, S01E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Tina singing basic Spanish (Bob's Burgers, S06E06)
  • Charlie sex (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E03)
  • Drive-through (Baskets, S01E01)

Stray Observations


(Shameless, S06E02)


(Grandfathered, S01E12)


(Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E12)

  • "Kase!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S03E12)
  • Richard Schiff (The Grinder, S01E11)
  • "Seems like you all have a pretty full cast as it is. Maybe you need a funny black guy and a chubby guy with a beard." (The Grinder, S01E11)
  • Meta "To Be Continued" (The Grinder, S01E11)
  • "This is made from the exact same material as a cocaine straw." (Black-ish, S02E13)
  • "Party Mountain" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E03)
  • "DID YOU CUM IN MY BURRITO?!"
    "I DIDN'T CUM IN YOUR BURRITO! I WOULDN'T DO THAT TO YOU!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E03)
  • "You know what? If you guys are already hard, just go ahead of me, and I'll just circle back." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E03)
  • "French horn?" (Baskets, S01E01)
  • "Why don't you work at the roast beef sandwich shop?"
    "Because the Arby's doesn't hire clowns. I've told you this." (Baskets, S01E01)
  • "This is from France, and they make scooters better, so I want this one back."
    "All due respect to your scooter, we actually make some pretty good ones here in America."
    "What are you, Lee Greenwood?" (Baskets, S01E01)
  • RT: You'll see a lot of Kirkland products in @BasketsFX by design. It was the simplest brand to clear & Costco got on board easily. (Baskets, S01E01)
  • Chip and Dale (Baskets, S01E01)
  • "Now to sing the National Anthem, from the OJ trial, Kato Kaelin." (Baskets, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


3. Tiffany mistakenly thinks David Gest is dead (Celebrity Big Brother, 01-12-16)

Context: Tiffany "New York" Pollard of VH1 fame is on Celebrity Big Brother in the United Kingdom, along with Angela Bowie, David Bowie's ex-wife, and David Gest, Liza Minelli's ex-husband.


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


(Shameless, S06E01)

  • "All women beg for more Yanis." (Shameless, S06E01)
  • Carl calling Liam "my nigga" (Shameless, S06E01)
  • Bob Saget (Grandfathered, S01E11)
  • "So where'd you meet him?"
    "On one of those online dating sites – Ratch." (Black-ish, S02E12)
  • "I haven't had the best luck meeting girls."
    "It could be because you call yourself 'The Fortress of Solid Dude.'" (Black-ish, S02E12)
  • ♫: "Gone Till November" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E02)
  • "You are a wrinkled bitch!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E02)
  • "No one in the history of crack has ever woken up in the morning with more crack." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E02)
  • "People in the welfare store are in a pinch." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S11E02)
  • "Look, they're gonna get two football teams down in Carson." (American Horror Story, S05E12)
  • Sally trades her twinned addictions of heroin and misery for social media (American Horror Story, S05E12)
  • "I was a salesman in another life. In this one, I'm the mother of style. Cut me and I bleed Dior." (American Horror Story, S05E12)
  • Billie from Murder House (American Horror Story, S05E12)
  • ♫: Marianne Faithfull – "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan" (American Horror Story, S05E12)
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: C
  • "You make an old condom smile." (Man Seeking Woman, S02E02)
  • We get it. You invested in Uber (Shark Tank, S07E14)
  • Adam Driver as Aladdin (Saturday Night Live, S41E10)
  • "Look at me, I'm Ray Donovan!" (Saturday Night Live, S41E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Fargo
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You

#clipoftheweek