Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

51. Society's Lies (The Eric Andre Show, S03E07)


Stray Observations

  • The complete No-No List (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • "Hey. No nose hair trimming."
    "Well, I hope you like nostril bush." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • "Is it something you can hear Garfield saying? If so, it's glib." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • "My keeping things light and being Garfieldian is the only reason we don't fight." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • "Charles Boyle calls people 'baby' when he gets angry." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • Brassiere in a paper bag (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E11)
  • "I like your hair. It matches your teeth." (Bob's Burgers, S05E07)
  • "You don't screw with a tri-delt." (Getting On, S02E06)
  • Getting On Season Grade: C+
  • MasterChef Junior Season Grade: C


(Black Mirror: White Christmas)

  • Black Mirror: White Christmas Grade: C+
  • Asylum! (American Horror Story, S04E10)
  • "You know what I see when I look at you spewing your shit? A dinosaur, roaring at monkeys sailing by, on bikes, with iPads." (Babylon, S01E06)
  • All the Emmys for Bertie Carvel (Babylon, S01E06)
  • The timing of this show… (Babylon, S01E06)
  • Babylon Season Grade: B
  • An Annotated List of Every Single Person Who Sang in the Colbert Finale (The Colbert Report, 12-18-14)
  • Vaping Lincoln (The Colbert Report, 12-18-14)
  • "I'm getting angry at liberals." (The Colbert Report, 12-18-14)


(The Eric Andre Show, S03E07)

  • "Life begins when Ryan Phillippe is horny and ladies be ovulating." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E07)
  • The Amazing Race: Blind Dates? (The Amazing Race, S25E12)
  • The Amazing Race Season Grade: C
  • "Really?"
    "With Seth and Amy." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E20)
  • Comedy Bang! Bang! Season Grade: C+
  • Toby Keith and Tim Meadows on both Colbert and Ferguson's finales (The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, 12-19-14)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

50. Black people can't be racist (Black-ish, S01E10)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Presents is like old people third base."
    "No, that's rubbing butts together." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E10)
  • "Caesar salad with tater tots instead of croutons." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E10)
  • "Who's your favourite president?"
    "Bill Pullman." (Bob's Burgers, S05E06)
  • "Christmas magic is wine?"
    "It's whatever you want it to be. It can be snow, or Santa, or beer, or gin, or rum, or schnapps." (Bob's Burgers, S05E06)
  • "I thought this was a disco."
    "That's Wednesdays. Thursdays, we watch Scandal." (Bob's Burgers, S05E06)
  • "I'm here every Friday night. And Thursdays. I love Scandal." (Bob's Burgers, S05E06)
  • "I want your big hairy nuts." (Getting On, S02E05)
  • Matt Berry cuts off Josh Homme's nose (Toast of London, S02E06)
  • "I'm going back home to Long Island, the birthplace of the female crew cut." (New Girl, S04E11)
  • "It's Christmas."
    "Oh, I didn't know that. I thought they just did a black version of Annie for no reason." (New Girl, S04E11)
  • "Hey, let's wait in the first class lounge, like the other HBO Go subscribers." (New Girl, S04E11)
  • Pervert Santa is Mr. Belding?! (New Girl, S04E11)
  • "It was worse than the last season of Scrubs. A teaching hospital? Come on." (New Girl, S04E11)
  • "I'm-a cut you and Michael Cera's baby!" (Friends of the People, S01E07)
  • "Calling all the fighting spirits of every black martial artist in the universe: Jar Jar Binks, Wendy Williams, Panthro from the ThunderCats." (Friends of the People, S01E07)
  • "Ron Artest?"
    "Hey, fool, my name is Tiny Lister." (Friends of the People, S01E07)
  • A doll warehouse? (Sons of Anarchy, S07E13)
  • Vic Mackey, heh (Sons of Anarchy, S07E13)
  • Sons of Anarchy Season Grade: C-
  • It's car product placement week on Fox-produced sitcoms (Modern Family, S06E10)
  • "Santa was the first white man I ever loved." (Black-ish, S01E10)
  • "The White House was just that – white – until one man broke through and gave my people hope – Dennis Haysbert in 24." (Black-ish, S01E10)
  • "Mexican female Santa?! No! Too far from the box! Get closer! Closer to the box!" (Black-ish, S01E10)
  • "Goddamn it, I was so close to a nut." (American Horror Story, S04E09)
  • Dandy channeling Yeezus (American Horror Story, S04E09)
  • T-2Pac (South Park, S18E10)


Iggy Azalea (South Park, S18E10)

  • "I am trending into something more than human. I am becoming…trendsgender" – best callback (South Park, S18E10)
  • South Park Season Grade: C+
  • Key and Peele Season Grade: C-
  • Death, taxes, Nigella's team being eliminated first (The Taste, S03E02)
  • "Hey, when you take a wiz, do you get a sense of khalifa?" (The Eric Andre Show, S03E06)
  • "311 never happened." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E06)
  • "1 877 kars for kids." (Saturday Night Live, S40E09)
  • "It's rows and rows of little Filipino ladies." (Saturday Night Live, S40E09)
  • "Someone just mistook her for Mila Kunis."
    "Yes, you do look like Mila! Doesn't she? Yes, yes. And you look like someone famous as well."
    "Really…"
    "Yeah. Who is it?"
    "I know who it is."
    "It's a movie star, isn't it?"
    "Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It's Jude Law." (Hello Ladies: The Movie)
  • Allison Tolman! (Hello Ladies: The Movie)
  • "Don't get hung up on any one woman. Not worth it. You know what pussy is spelled backwards? Wise up." (Hello Ladies: The Movie)
  • Hello Ladies: The Movie Grade: B-


(Homeland, S04E06)

  • "You point your finger at Islam, but if Christianity is to be judged by the misery it has caused mankind, who would ever be a Christian?"
    "I'm a Jew." (Homeland, S04E07)
  • "Afghanistan."
    "The graveyard of empires." (Homeland, S04E07)
  • "I am authorized to kill U.S. citizens on the battlefield, you motherfucker. Don't think I can't do whatever is required. Don't think that I won't." (Homeland, S04E09)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. Michael Jackson's "Black Or White" video morphing HANNITIZED (The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Terry loves kreplach." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E09)
  • "I had an airtight break-up plan in place. I made a reservation next Thursday at a well-lit Korean restaurant in Midtown. It's the least romantic place I could think of." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E09)
  • "Now I know how Salieri felt." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E09)
  • [fires gun] "Shut up…" (The Walking Dead, S05E08)
  • "Cupcake-flavoured ice cream served on a waffle. Pizza tacos. Robot cake. Hot fudge car wash." (Bob's Burgers, S05E05)
  • "There's no such thing as an innocent fart anymore." (Getting On, S02E04)


(Getting On, S02E04)

  • "I'm studying anogenital distances, gender flips, vaginal atrophy, I have been invited to participate in the Cochran study on anal augmentation for female fecal incontinence…" (Getting On, S02E04)
  • "We can no longer sweep female fecal incontinence under the rug." (Getting On, S02E04)
  • "It was the harmless transmission of an errant vulva." (Getting On, S02E04)
  • "I'm a damn feminist who loves purses. Where else am I supposed to keep my feminist writings? In a purse. That's where."
    "Lena Dunham… [pause] I don't know… I–" (New Girl, S04E10)
  • "What's your favourite thing about America?"
    "Kentucky women."
    "Favourite part of The Rock?"
    "'Welcome to the Rock.'" (New Girl, S04E10)
  • "Now she works whenever she wants. It's a scam called 'consulting.'" (New Girl, S04E10)
  • Drink every time Chibs or Tig receives a phone call and informs Jax what his next scene is (Sons of Anarchy, S07E12)
  • "Go home, Wayne."
    "I can't do that. This is all I got left." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E12)
  • "Leave."
    [grabs leaves] (Modern Family, S06E09)
  • "There is not an Esther Choi on Earth who needs math tutoring." (Modern Family, S06E09)
  • "You race card, sir."
    "Ah, my African-American Express." (Black-ish, S01E09)
  • "Freemium gaming destroys lives. I lost my father to Candy Crush." (South Park, S18E09)
  • "All I do is rip off Missy." (South Park, S18E09)
  • "Death would be preferable to Tampa." (American Horror Story, S04E08)
  • It's matricide week on FX (American Horror Story, S04E08)
  • "I'm not going back to Instagram." (Babylon, S01E04)
  • 2Pac's "California Love" HANNITIZED (The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)
  • "I'm using Asian condiments to loosen these cuffs." (The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)
  • "What do you think Drag-On is up to now?" (The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)


(The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)

  • "Some garbage is OK." (The Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)
  • "His first name is a crime. Please welcome Rob Corddry." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E18)
  • "813.54."
    "You still remember my Dewey Decimal number."
    "Zero."
    "You still remember the amount of times I've had sex." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E18)
  • "I have a thyroid issue, like my father before me." (Saturday Night Live, S40E08)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

48. Pain for pleasure (The Amazing Race, S25E09)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "I could not get enough of the ponies." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E08)
  • "The only way to make things right is to do the worst, most awful thing imaginable."
    "Dip your penis in vinegar." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E08)
  • "Some things might come easier to you if you stop being such a perfectionist, a concept you should become…familiar with."
    "Familiar with… A dangling preposition?"
    "I'm setting an example. I made an error, and I'm not going to correct it. I'm just going to let it dangle, dangle, dangle." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E08)
  • Ricky Jay: "We're not magicians." (Getting On, S02E03)
  • "Jacuzzi filled with nipples…" (Mr. Pickles, S01E10)
  • Mr. Pickles Season Grade: C
  • "You really scared me, Master Bruce. If you die… Who employs butlers anymore?" (Gotham, S01E10)
  • "Jess brought me a hot lunch lady. What am I supposed to do with that?"
    "Do sex with the lunch lady. That's obvious."
    "I know how it sounds, but she's, like, a real lunch lady."
    "After she has sex with you, she could put food in your mouth." (New Girl, S04E09)
  • "Rooney is my people." (New Girl, S04E09)


LOOK WHO'S BACK (Degrassi, S14E05)

  • Drinking beer with a straw (Friends of the People, S01E05)
  • Young Maurice the god – ha! (Friends of the People, S01E05)
  • "I'm not wearing any underwear."
    "Then how do you block the dookies? Do they just fall out?" (Friends of the People, S01E05)
  • "That dude, whoever owns Boingo, got a boat, probably." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E04)


Poob implants (The Eric Andre Show, S03E04)


Mac DeMarco does his own stunts (The Eric Andre Show, S03E04)


(The Eric Andre Show, S03E04)

  • Curtain rod on subway train gag (Broad City, S01E04)
  • Broad City Season Grade: D+
  • Restaurant Startup Season Grade: B
  • Rescuing/reviving frozen Ricky (Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)
  • Ricky's previous mishaps montage (Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)
  • "That's why the A-Team was probably so good, 'cause they got this little shortcut-y path thing right here in the middle." (Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)


(Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)

  • "♫ I am like the wind / You can blow me anytime / Just take me in your mouth / And blow me ♫" (Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)
  • "Calm the fuck down, Home Alone." (Trailer Park Boys, S08E02)
  • "Gary LaserEyes is infested!" (Trailer Park Boys, S08E05)
  • Liquor ball sandwiches (Trailer Park Boys, S08E05)
  • Bubbles in the laundromat (Trailer Park Boys, S08E05)


(Trailer Park Boys, S08E07)


Drake (Trailer Park Boys, S08E07)

  • Directed by Cory? (Trailer Park Boys, S08E08)
  • The mortician swinging a hair dryer (Trailer Park Boys, S08E08)


Civil Rights Movement shirt (Trailer Park Boys, S08E08)

  • "Help my fuck" – Tyrone's catchphrase (Trailer Park Boys, S08E09)
  • Directed by Jay Baruchel? (Trailer Park Boys, S08E10)
  • Trailer Park Boys Season Grade: C+
  • "They went to the Beverly Center with him like that, mom."
    "Ew! No one goes to the Beverly Center." (Transparent, S01E05)
  • "Is this Zankou? Where's the garlic stuff?" (Transparent, S01E09)
  • "You're fucking the rabbi?" (Transparent, S01E09)
  • Transparent Season Grade: C+

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

47. The Amazingly Randy (South Park, S18E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "It's not that weird to say, 'May I have some cocaine?'" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E07)
  • "I don't always understand Peralta's texts. He says, 'They're still waiting on the lab' and 'It's allz good' – 'allz' with a Z. Then, a box with a question mark inside, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, another box with a question mark, and yet another box with a question mark. Then, a box with a question mark. What does that mean?"
    "It means you don't have emojis on your phone." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E07)
  • CGI Atlanta is so flat (The Walking Dead, S05E06)
  • "I want to be the bad boy of public radio, like Elvis Mitchell." (Bob's Burgers, S05E03)


(Mr. Pickles, S01E09)


"I was born without genitals."
"Then where do you go pee pee or poo poo?"
"You don't want to know." (Mr. Pickles, S01E09)

  • The audience booing Grumpy Cat (WWE Raw, 11-17-14)
  • Gotham has a munitions factory (Gotham, S01E09)
  • Sergei from Delocated playing another Russian mobster (Gotham, S01E09)
  • "What's permanent press?"
    "Fake button. Nobody uses it." (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "The way she killed her… So brutal." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E11)
  • "I have no idea how Bobby handled this shit."
    "Yeah. We need to patch in another Jew." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E11)
  • "Therapy's just not something our people do. We have Jesus and baths." (Black-ish, S01E07)
  • Nirvana? (American Horror Story, S04E07)
  • "We make the perfect before-and-after picture." (American Horror Story, S04E07)
  • "What is that?"
    "It's, uh, speed weed from Taco. I've been up for 48 hours straight having sex, and then after I have sex, I masturbate, and then after that, I look at pictures of corn, which I find is a huge turn-on for me."
    "You're jerking off to corn?" (The League, S06E12)
  • "Soft cheese, hard dick!" (The League, S06E12)
  • Tom Condon? (The League, S06E13)
  • "A pax on all of your homes!"
    "Think you mean 'pox,' Ruxin."
    "No, I mean that the only cable network you all should get is PAX." (The League, S06E13)
  • The League Season Grade: C-
  • Scott parodying Frank Underwood (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E16)
  • Mystikal! (Saturday Night Live, S40E07)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


46. Bachelorette Party Mantasy (Friends of the People, S01E03)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Drink the ranch! Drink the ranch!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E06)
  • "Everyone likes to be the little spoon. It makes you feel safe. Carl, back me up on this."
    "Yes, little spoon all the way." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E06)
  • "Look, my job is to make you prove he did it. It's the basis of our entire justice system. What, you think John Adams was just some idiot?"
    "No, I think John Adams was a mini-series I didn't watch because it looked like a book." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E06)


(Mr. Pickles, S01E08)


(Toast of London, S02E02)

  • Death by paper cutter blade (Gotham, S01E08)
  • "Young man, business suit, esophagus lacerated from index cards shoved down his throat." (Gotham, S01E08)
  • Bruce using his father's watch as knuckles (Gotham, S01E08)
  • "He tried to kill me."
    "That's right. He did. He tried to kill you. Just you remember that next time you see him – and you remember that I let him try. [to Bruce] Now let's get some ice on those knuckles. What do you fancy for your dinner?"
    "Pizza."
    "Pizza. Superb choice, Master Bruce." (Gotham, S01E08)
  • "It's not that I love fighting, but I'm not afraid to either." (Gotham, S01E08)
  • "So. Your dad's in politics? Is he a Republican or a Democrat?"
    "He wears a tie." (MasterChef Junior, S02E02)
  • "I'm terrible at lying; I'm terrific at make believe." (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "I just cried on my penis while I was peeing. That happened." (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "It's a very hard time to be gay. Girls are wearing scarves and boots. They have so many layers to them. What is underneath all those layers? I want to find out."
    "Are you blaming autumn?" (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "Can we agree that this not the most mature way to handle things, even though it's pretty fun?"
    "It's no fun a couple bellinis and a round of Apples to Apples can't solve."
    "What kind of gay are you?"
    "I'm still finding it." (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "What's women?" (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "So what kind of guys do you like to date?"
    "Ripped nerds. Sleepy guys. We in the gay community call them 'drowsers.'" (New Girl, S04E07)
  • "The fructose burns my throat." (Friends of the People, S01E03)
  • Marilyn Manson ass-raping Juice (Sons of Anarchy, S07E10)
  • Marilyn Manson reading love poems by Emily Brontë to Juice (Sons of Anarchy, S07E10)
  • "I don't have molars." (Black-ish, S01E07)
  • "I'm about to make it rain up in the comic book store!" (Black-ish, S01E07)


Live-action Butters (South Park, S18E07)

  • "It's like when I had tuberculosis and you took me out to the Utah desert!" (American Horror Story, S04E06)
  • "If there isn't a divider, stand outside her." (The League, S06E11)
  • "Ride with me, my breadless horseman." (The League, S06E11)
  • "No cheese could realistically be inserted up an anus." (Babylon, S01E01)
  • "I know I'm looking a little chub, but I'm preparing for the lead role in Precious: Part 2 – Precious with a Dick." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E02)
  • "Morpheus drinking a 40 in a death basket." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E02)
  • Funyuns flag (Saturday Night Live, S40E06)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

45. Freemium Gaming 101 (South Park, S18E06)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "The girls' bathroom is nice. Each stall has a tiny metal mailbox. I'm glad I was carrying around that postcard for Ken." (Bob's Burgers, S05E02)
  • "We don't know if that's water or urine you're lying in."
    "I think it's just water. Yeah, water. No, pee." (Bob's Burgers, S05E02)
  • "She got catfished by a box." (Bob's Burgers, S05E02)
  • "Where's Tina? Crying into her butt?"
    "No, my butt is dry, and strong." (Bob's Burgers, S05E02)
  • "Gene, it's okay to watch Kitchen Nightmares alone." (Bob's Burgers, S05E02)
  • "Home Depot, I don't wanna fuck an Asian daughter!" (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, 11-02-14)
  • Katia Winter's hips – O_O (Sleepy Hollow, S02E07)
  • "I must Internet immediately." (Sleepy Hollow, S02E07)
  • "I've always really wanted to make a chicken liver pâté." (MasterChef Junior, S02E01)
  • "I'll take him to a water park, I will. I'll put him on one of those water slides between two obese people and he'll get smushed to death. He'll die between the obese people before he drowns in the water." (New Girl, S04E06)
  • The new opening credits stink (New Girl, S04E06)
  • "Would you like a green grape shoved in your— given to your mouth…handed to your mouth?" (New Girl, S04E06)
  • "I've never seen someone sweat so much in my life. It looks like your body is crying." (New Girl, S04E06)
  • "I once walked by my mother sleeping and I snuck in the room and I put a lemon in her mouth." (New Girl, S04E06)
  • "I understand what you're saying about killing all the black people. When we do, maybe we could just…not kill Will Smith?" (Friends of the People, S01E02)
  • "I guess the KKK will only hate John Cusack?" (Friends of the People, S01E02)
  • "Soon Canada will be as advanced and developed as Michigan." (South Park, S18E06)
  • "It's the Canadian devil."
    "Beelzaboot." (South Park, S18E06)
  • "When you get involved with freemium gaming, you are making a deal with the Canadian devil." (South Park, S18E06)
  • "Canada is back to being an ethical, respected, shitty tundra." (South Park, S18E06)
  • "Mayonnaise has healing properties." (The League, S06E10)
  • Tiny woman's tiny violin (American Horror Story, S04E05)
  • "This body is America – strong, violent, and full of limitless potential. (American Horror Story, S04E05)
  • "I will be the U.S. Steel of murder." (American Horror Story, S04E05)
  • "Don't fuck with the Peaky Blinders." (Peaky Blinders, S02E06)
  • Peaky Blinders Season Grade: C-
  • "Katt Williams… More like Fatt Williams."
    "Next joke! Katt Williams is very thin!" (The Eric Andre Show, S03E01)
  • "Was that your wife? ..Your girlfriend? …Mistress? ….Sister?"
    "She's just some bitch I fucked after I went to see Raisin in the Sun starring Denzel Washington." (The Eric Andre Show, S03E01)
  • "I did Zaxxon." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E14)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


44. Too Many Cooks, 10-28-14


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Think about the things you want in life, and then picture yourself in a dress." (Boardwalk Empire, S05E08)
  • Tommy shoots Nucky in the same spot under the eye where the fatal bullet hit Jimmy (Boardwalk Empire, S05E08)
  • RT: "Did #BoardwalkEmpire finale cut Willie Thompson's scenes? Synopsis says he gives out info to US Attorney. But he wasn't in the episode" (Boardwalk Empire, S05E08)
  • Boardwalk Empire Season Grade: B
  • The creator of The Tick works on this show?! (Gotham, S01E06)
  • "I'm Lacy Wyatt, and this is the Gotham 7 Goat Watch." (Gotham, S01E06)
  • "You are a scurvy louse. You are a slop bucket." (Sleepy Hollow, S02E06)
  • "ChiefWiggum49 and Haloismybitch12 decided to frag me." (Sleepy Hollow, S02E06)
  • Face Off Season Grade: C
  • Melo! (Sons of Anarchy, S07E08)
  • "Is there another character in Where's Waldo?"
    "Wizard Whitebeard."
    "Okay. That'll be fun. I haven't gone out with a white beard since I took my cousin Sally to the prom." (Modern Family, S06E06)
  • This is why we need American Horror Story: to see Jessica Lange as a dominatrix and Patti LaBelle get her throat slit (American Horror Story, S04E04)
  • Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories Season Grade: B
  • "And that's why 'Monster Mash' was our wedding song. What was yours?"
    "Oh, it was 'Brick' by Ben Folds Five." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E13)
  • "I was like a pregnant woman in Texas – I had no choice." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E13)
  • "No fapping!" (Saturday Night Live, S40E05)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

43. Hollywood Wrap Up (Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories, S01E06*)

* a 'television episode of the year' nominee


Honourable Mention

  • Incarnations of the Simpsons (The Simpsons, S26E04)
    [computer-animated, anime, Adventure Time, South Park, Archer, Sylvain Chomet, LEGO, Despicable Me, callback]
  • Gillian's letter (Boardwalk Empire, S05E07)
  • Tom Hardy and Noah Taylor talk (Peaky Blinders, S02E04)
  • Stupid cross-eyed animals (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E12)
  • Carrey Family Reunion (Saturday Night Live, S40E04)

Stray Observations

  • "He could be in Canada by now. There's so many forests up there. That country is one giant hiding place." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E04)
  • "I have to…make urines in dee toilet." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E04)
  • "You're the champagne of friends." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E04)
  • "School is cool. That's why it rhymes." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E04)
  • "I began by creating…a word cloud." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E04)
  • Mickey Doyle – cruel twist of fate (Boardwalk Empire, S05E07)
  • "You tell yourself it's quick, but you don't know. You can't know until it's you, and then you'll never tell anyone." (Boardwalk Empire, S05E07)
  • "Last time I took a shower, Mr. Pickles replaced my soap with a human face." (Mr. Pickles, S01E05)


(Gotham, S01E05)

  • "You're working in a…"
    "PlayStation game testing factory."
    "What kind of stuff do you do?"
    "Well, I shouldn't really be telling you this, but…we are developing a new button – the hexagon." (Bad Education, S03E06)
  • Bad Education Season Grade: C-
  • "Killing your mommy was an accident." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E07)
  • RT: A special Cutthroat Kitchen #hottake. Having $100 dollars when you opponent has $25,000 in the final round is bad. (Cutthroat Kitchen: Superstar Sabotage, S01E03)
  • "I always wanted a Spanish house. It would be like living in an El Torito." (Modern Family, S06E05)
  • "Frowny face stamp. I didn't know they made those."
    "I had to special order it from Germany." (Modern Family, S06E05)
  • "Whooping don't care what you are. An ass is an ass is an ass is an ass." (Black-ish, S01E05)
  • RT: This is why we need American Horror Story: to see Patti LaBelle do the Woody Woodpecker laugh. (American Horror Story, S04E03)
  • Todd English's face (Top Chef, S12E02)


(Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories, S01E06)

  • The Vandals! (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E12)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

42. Brooke does it for the Vine (The Amazing Race, S25E04)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Time for me to get out there and spread my"
    "Legs."
    "Get out there and spread my legs?"
    "Well, either way…"
    "No. Not either way. Only wings." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E03)
  • Gina's countdown technique involves ending with the last names of famous Marks. The final challenge? "On your mark… Get Seth… Rogen!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E03)
  • The first trough victim is Oswald Cobblepot on Gotham (The Walking Dead, S05E01)
  • "I got a beer."
    "Where in the world did you find that?"
    "In the refrigerator.
    "Huh. Must have been left by one of the Mexicans." (The Affair, S01E01)
  • Oswald Cobblepot lost the role of Todd on Breaking Bad to Jesse Plemons (Gotham, S01E04)
  • Siouxsie and the Banshees! (Gotham, S01E04)


Sal Maroni celebrates with a giant steak (Gotham, S01E04)


Josh Reddick bombs Chrisley (WWE Raw, 10-13-14)

  • "Are you just eating a bowl of jelly?" (New Girl, S04E05)
  • "Nothing sadder than a freaky Thursday." (Black-ish, S01E04)
  • "Where are you going?"
    "I don't know. Maybe St. Petersburg, where they have real caramel corn." (American Horror Story, S04E02)


(American Horror Story, S04E02)

  • "Never give power to the big man." (Peaky Blinders, S02E03)
  • "Jewish women, for you, are off the fuckin' menu." (Peaky Blinders, S02E03)
  • "The use of attractive people isn't going anywhere." (Shark Tank, S06E05)
  • John Hodgman! (The Knick, S01E10)
  • "Nothing breaks a man like a good cock punch." (The Knick, S01E10)
  • "I can read left to right, not just up and down." (The Knick, S01E10)
  • Heroin – heh (The Knick, S01E10)
  • The Knick Season Grade: B
  • "Think warm thoughts. Think of a fire."
    "Gah. I thought of a cold fire!" (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E11)
  • "The National gets their check." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E11)
  • "Secretary of the Office: I nominate Ellie Kemper." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S03E11)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


41. Hatsune Miku (Late Show with David Letterman, 10-09-14)


Stray Observations

  • "I like tacos! [fart]" (Bob's Burgers, S05E01)
  • "I just want to go home and crawl into bed and have a good long dutch oven cry." (Bob's Burgers, S05E01)
  • "Also, I'm just an uncle so, no biggie." (Bob's Burgers, S05E01)
  • "You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter."
    "You embarrassed yourssssself in front of Derek Jeter." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E02)


Young Nucky's teeth (Boardwalk Empire, S05E05)

  • "I, for one, refuse to be ruled by fear."
    "Husband!"
    "Coming dear." (Boardwalk Empire, S05E05)
  • RT: "The Strain put a LOT of effort into disguising Massey Hall as some joint in Tribeca" (The Strain, S01E13)
  • The Strain Season Grade: C+
  • "The Balloonman gon' get ya." (Gotham, S01E03)


Meanwhile, at Wayne Manor… (Gotham, S01E03)

  • The Driver Season Grade: C-
  • "He called a scotch on the rocks a 'sco-ro.'" (New Girl, S04E04)
  • "It looks like a little tiny pigeon's egg."
    "Don't you wanna hatch the bird?" (New Girl, S04E04)
  • "I hate when Schmidt cries. He sounds like a ghost singing 'Hey Ya.'" (New Girl, S04E04)
  • Matador Season Grade: C+
  • "If laughter's the best medicine, then you're grape-flavoured Triaminic." (Modern Family, S06E03)
  • "The nod is on the same primal level as a baby waving 'hi' – as a man scrunching up his face when a woman with a big butt walks by."
    "This is basic stuff."
    "Even the butt thing?"
    "Especially the butt thing. Basic black." (Black-ish, S01E03)
  • Will continuity continue all season? (South Park, S18E03)
  • "Salami vise." (The League, S06E06)
  • "It's Lucky Strike. It's good for you." (American Horror Story, S04E01)
  • Lobster hand shocker (American Horror Story, S04E01)


Meep the Geek (American Horror Story, S04E01)

  • "I once carried out my own personal form of stigmata on an Italian. I pushed his face up against a trench, shoved a six-inch nail up his fuckin' nose, and I hammered it home with a duckboard. It was fuckin' biblical, mate." (Peaky Blinders, S02E02)
  • "I'm standing my ground!" (Black Jesus, S01E10)
  • Black Jesus Season Grade: C


(The Amazing Race, S25E03)

  • Sons of GameStop (Shark Tank, S06E04)
  • "There's the Emotionals, the Foodies, the Hasidics, and Gryffindor." (Saturday Night Live, S40E03)
  • "Dan Cortese." (Saturday Night Live, S40E03)
  • "Here's a joke: GOD." (Saturday Night Live, S40E03)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


40. Don Hertzfeldt's Couch Gag (The Simpsons, S26E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Caught masturbating (Black-ish, S01E02)
  • Munchie T (Black Jesus, S01E09)

Stray Observations

  • "We gotta carry him 'cause he can't fly on his own. We let that other guy try and look what happened." (Family Guy, S13E01)
  • "I kidnapped all your enemies – Nelson, Jimbo, Principal Skinner, Sideshow Bob, Apu. I know Apu's not your enemy, but I just wanted to say 'I took Apu.'" (Family Guy, S13E01)
  • "We're gonna make it!"
    "Trust me, we're not." (Family Guy, S13E01)
  • "We've had all the fights we're going to have." (Boardwalk Empire, S05E04)
  • Hacking the emergency broadcast system with a G-Drive (The Strain, S01E12)
  • Perfect Bacon Bowl ad (The Strain, S01E12)
  • Masters of Sex Season Grade: C+


(WWE Raw, 09-29-14)

  • Bruce Wayne listening to Swedish metal (Gotham, S01E02)
  • Bruce Wayne cutting himself (Gotham, S01E02)
  • "Are you part of the wedding industry?" (Sleepy Hollow, S02E02)
  • "Do you know what happens when you break a lion's heart?"
    "Did it go to live with a warthog and a meerkat?" (Bad Education, S03E03)
  • "Just doing E, watching that show Ed." (New Girl, S04E03)


Dina's nerd goblin (Face Off, S07E11)

  • Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson – this episode is a New Radicals song (Sons of Anarchy, S07E04)
  • "Althea? Guess your folks were hoping for a black baby." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E04)
  • "Tiggy, you and me, back door."
    "Giggity." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E04)
  • Tig and Boyd Crowder kiss – there is no box (Sons of Anarchy, S07E04)


(The Bridge, S02E13)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

39. Bono's daughter's night with Clive Owen (The Knick, S01E07)

Magnificent — Soderbergh firing on all cylinders.


Honourable Mention

  • The tunnel (The Strain, S01E11)
  • That sound and that gesture (The League, S06E04)
  • Army running cadence (Key and Peele, S04E01)
  • Marvel can't fail (Saturday Night Live, S40E01)

Stray Observations

  • "CBS doesn't like dildos." (Masters of Sex, S02E11)
  • Mrs. Martinez is unbearable (The Strain, S01E11)
  • "Now I know another way to kill them."
    "Next outing, you carry the power transformer." (The Strain, S01E11)
  • Cracked iPhone screen – womp womp (The Strain, S01E11)
  • The Master's make-up – woof (The Strain, S01E11)


(Mr. Pickles, S01E01)

  • "He no rape me. But if you don't rape me, I tell them you rape me!" (Mr. Pickles, S01E01)
  • "That pill head looney bird." (Gotham, S01E01)
  • Timothy Busfield as Benjamin Franklin (Sleepy Hollow, S02E01)
  • "If pot were a piano, Nick would be a nine-year-old Chinese girl." (New Girl, S04E02)
  • "We have more work to do than the Kings of Leon. Good band, but it feels like they are stuck in one place musically." (New Girl, S04E02)
  • Wizard Wars Season Grade: C+
  • Field hockey? How does his son not play lacrosse? (Black-ish, S01E01)
  • Nathan Fielder and Seth Rogen, together again (The League, S06E04)
  • Holy short-haired, clean-shaven Jason Mantzoukas! (The League, S06E04)
  • Look at these fucking guest stars: Nathan Fielder, June Diane Raphael, Jorma Taccone, David Krumholtz, Steve Little, Jerry Minor, Andrew Daly, Lizzy Caplan… (The League, S06E04)


Jerry Jones (South Park, S18E01)

  • "The world can only bear so much before sunderance." (The Bridge, S02E12)
  • "I need to go to the ATM first." (The Bridge, S02E12)
  • Aaaand Linder goes out like a chump (The Bridge, S02E12)
  • "Peter Atencio." (Key and Peele, S04E01)
  • "Belly full of toes." (Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories, S01E02)


(The Knick, S01E07)

  • Ambushing viewers with an arm amputation (The Knick, S01E07)
  • Darrell Hammond as announcer will take some getting used to (Saturday Night Live, S40E01)
  • Pete Davidson is the first SNL cast member born in the 1990s (Saturday Night Live, S40E01)
  • "Devin Peters, Stanford." (Saturday Night Live, S40E01)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

38. Fausto makes a hostage video (The Bridge, S02E11)


Stray Observations

  • "WHY MUST IT ALWAYS BE PANDEMONIUM?!" (Boardwalk Empire, S05E02)
  • MasterChef Season Grade: C
  • "Mein Kampf was the name of John Barrowman's autobiography…?" (Bad Education, S03E01)
  • "Do guys still like an Oakland face with an L.A. booty?" (New Girl, S04E01)
  • "Looks like Jeffrey and Lauren want us to share in their joy. How 'bout they share in my chocolate pocket?"
    "What does that mean?!"
    "In my butt!" (New Girl, S04E01)


Drew's serpent soldier make-up (Face Off, S07E09)

  • RT: "Ah yes. Terrible music during a chase scene. A proud SOA tradition." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E02)
  • "I am done playing by nigger rules!" (Sons of Anarchy, S07E02)
  • "I'm only reading it to attract a Mormon. I heard their lungs are perfect for transplants." (Red Band Society, S01E01)
  • "Luck isn't getting what you want; it's surviving what you don't want." (Red Band Society, S01E01)
  • "I will hasten him off this planet." (The Bridge, S02E11)
  • "Yeast Mode." (The League, S06E03)
  • "Children-friendly Watts." (Black Jesus, S01E07)


(Black Jesus, S01E07)

#clipoftheweek


[sigh] Alright. Here we go…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

37. Sharpie Card Trick (Wizard Wars, S01E04)

WUT.


Honourable Mention

  • The anguish of Rosarita (Matador, S01E09)
  • Wheelchair drag (Sons of Anarchy, S07E01)

Stray Observations

  • The host is Bizarro cartoonist Dan Piraro?! (Utopia, S01E01)
  • String instrument Metallica! (The Leftovers, S01E10)
  • The Leftovers Season Grade: B-
  • Sex in a Beastie Boys shirt (The Strain, S01E09)
  • RT: "Juice ducked off in the cut eating tuna out the can and doing naked pushups in the dark. Crazy as cat shit." (Sons of Anarchy, S07E01)
  • David Wallace! (The Bridge, S02E10)


(Top Chef Duels, S01E06)

#clipoftheweek


Next year, I'm just gonna live in Toronto for the month of September – and Philadelphia for the month of August. And Seattle for July…

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

36. Keyser Söze'd (You're the Worst, S01E08)


Stray Observations

  • "I'm a looter." (The Strain, S01E08)
  • Rick Baker cameo – buying wine at a convenience store! (The Strain, S01E08)
  • Jim! (The Strain, S01E08)
  • "I'm awaiting authorization!" (The Strain, S01E08)
  • The topicality of Libby's storyline (Masters of Sex, S02E08)
  • Bill Draper. Will his brother commit suicide too? (Masters of Sex, S02E08)
  • What even is Jaimee's voice? (MasterChef, S05E15)
  • "Jaimee, can you do this?"
    "Hell yeah."
    "Courtney, can you do this?"
    "Yes, chef."
    "Christian, can you do this?"
    "…Yeah, I guess…" (MasterChef, S05E15)
  • Heh. Ve hired all the alums to work on Mockingjay (Face Off, S07E07)


Neville's bishop (Face Off, S07E07)


(The Bridge, S02E09)

  • Charlotte! (The Bridge, S02E09)
  • "I like it when they clap for Bill Murray." (You're the Worst, S01E08)


(You're the Worst, S01E08)

  • A black lad named Trayvon? A black lad named Trayvon (Black Jesus, S01E05)
  • "He supposed to die on the cross, not the Escalade!" (Black Jesus, S01E05)


(The Knick, S01E04)

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

35. Controlling Water Illusion (Wizard Wars, S01E02)


Stray Observations

  • Kevin doesn't get Nyan Cat (The Leftovers, S01E09)
  • "Every man rebels against the idea that this is fuckin' it – fights windmills, saves fuckin' damsels, all in search of greater purpose. You have no greater purpose because it is enough." (The Leftovers, S01E09)
  • Mr. Quinlan! (The Strain, S01E07)
  • That was Stephen McHattie as Mr. Quinlan? (The Strain, S01E07)
  • Going Deep with David Rees Season Grade: B-
  • Whoa! (Matador, S01E07)
  • Both of his hands?! (Matador, S01E07)
  • …Oh. (Matador, S01E07)
  • Scott Ian eating anchovies (Restaurant Startup, S01E08)
  • "This needs a delicate touch. Call The Chopper." (The Bridge, S02E08)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


34. Simon Sees (Nathan For You, S02E08)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Is business about to pick up? (The Strain, S01E06)
  • Patti recites the second stanza of Yeats' "Michael Robartes bids his Beloved be at Peace" (The Leftovers, S01E08)
  • Libby's got jungle fever (Masters of Sex, S02E06)
  • "Gonna hit the buffet at the Spearmint Rhino. You down?"
    "No, I'm gonna stick around here, put in a little work."
    "You sure, man? Boobies and food…" (Matador, S01E06)
  • "I'm an idiot businessman with a small dick." (Nathan For You, S02E08)
  • "We shared popcorn. We weren't masturbating there."
    "We just have one board for both. These cork boards are like $20." (Nathan For You, S02E08)
  • Nathan For You Season Grade: A-
  • Magic incorporating SPAM (Wizard Wars, S01E01)
  • "When a dude with puka shells runs away from you, you are on to something." (The Bridge, S02E07)
  • The Honourable Woman Season Grade: C+
  • Rectify Season Grade: C+
  • "In fact, you interrupted my preparations." (The Knick, S01E03)
  • RT: The fight with Algernon outside the bar was done with a rig on Andre's back and GoPro cameras (The Knick, S01E03)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


33. A Selfish Act (Utopia, S02E06)


Stray Observations

  • "I love how passionate you are about pepperoni." (Masters of Sex, S02E05)
  • Weird Al, Bob Dylan, and Mr. Wonderful in one episode (WWE Raw, 08-11-14)
  • "We're just…licking our fingers at the match factory!" (Going Deep with David Rees, S01E08)
  • Share a Coke with Ian (Utopia, S02E06)
  • Utopia Season Grade: B+
  • "One eye is dollar sign, one eye is safety. Dollar in one eyes, and babies in the other eyes." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • "Man, I'm from Brooklyn. I'd rather have a pizza." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • "The baby sign was gone from his eyes and replaced with another dollar sign." (Nathan For You, S02E07)
  • Wilfred Season Grade: C-
  • Keaton Henson! (Rectify, S02E09)
  • "This little light of mine, we gon' grow some pot…" (Black Jesus, S01E02)
  • "Whoo! Back ain't been the same since I carried them fat girls across the River Nile trying to get away from them soldiers, man." (Black Jesus, S01E02)
  • "Have you…had cocaine before?"
    "No."
    "You're going to feel nothing in your arm and wonderful everywhere else. It's truly a miracle." (The Knick, S01E02)

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

32. Neighbours (The Strain, S01E04)


Stray Observations

  • Music: Slayer – "Angel of Death" (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • Holy Wayne only accepts payment by PayPal (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • "Surely a live dog is better than a dead lion." (The Leftovers, S01E06)
  • Halt and Catch Fire Season Grade: C+
  • HHH trapping Brie in a corner (WWE Raw, 08-04-14)
  • Boobs on basic cable! (Matador, S01E04)
  • "Disguised as a female bowler in religious garb…" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • RT: "Oh my god, the 9/11 truther on Nathan For You last night is probably my favorite TV moment of the 21st century" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • "(Burkas provided)" (Nathan For You, S02E06)
  • RT: "The Bill Gates impersonator from Nathan For You deserves every Emmy, and all other awards as well" (Nathan For You, S02E06)


(Nathan For You, S02E06)


(Wilfred, S04E08)

  • Mike Clattenburg [Trailer Park Boys] co-created this programme? (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Nigga-Wan Kenobi." (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • Korean ladies randomly giving Jesus a wonderful basket of shit (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Michael! Chandler! Ross!" (Black Jesus, S01E01)
  • "Komaki has so many places in his body to be beaten, but he only chooses to hit his balls." (Jonah From Tonga, S01E01)
  • Cliff Martinez's score is so Cliff Martinez (The Knick, S01E01)
  • 2014: The year of fatal gunshots to Matt Frewer's head (The Knick, S01E01)
  • Bono's daughter injecting cocaine into Clive Owen's dick (The Knick, S01E01)
  • Outlander's theme song is ludicrously catchy (Outlander, S01E01)
  • Happy Valley Season Grade: C+

#clipoftheweek