Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

49. Kelly vs. Evil Ash Puppet (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E08)


Stray Observations

  • "Well, our boyfriend is coming over any minute, and he has a Bowflex!" (Bob's Burgers, S07E05)
  • "Okay, Gene, I have a plan."
    "Great. I have diarrhea." (Bob's Burgers, S07E05)
  • "Oh, God. I think I just bisqued my pants." (Bob's Burgers, S07E05)
  • Pablo! (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E08)
  • "It's just bad and boring, like avocado toast." (Bob's Burgers, S07E06)
  • "Everyone likes stanzas." (Bob's Burgers, S07E06)
  • "Gene, when you said, 'Tina, your play's got the goods,' and you said 'goods' like it had a 'z' at the end, that was just a bunch of crap?"
    "I never should have put that 'z' on the end. That's my biggest regret in all of this mezz."
  • "Don't get your pubes in a tube."
    "I will get my pubes in a tube! We should all get our pubes in a tube!" (Bob's Burgers, S07E06)
  • "I feel like my soul has diarrhea." (Bob's Burgers, S07E06)
  • "But now those birds with perfect bodies / are decapitated hotties." (Bob's Burgers, S07E06)
  • ♫: The Delta Riggs – "No Friends" (Shameless, S07E08)
  • RT: Carl is terrible at throwing darts because he only has one eye. (The Walking Dead, S07E05)
  • "He's a coward. They're more dangerous." (The Walking Dead, S07E05)


(The Walking Dead, S07E05)

  • "I'm a killer. My God, my God…"
    "God has nothing to do with it. You killed her because…I told you to." (Westworld, S01E08)
  • RT: The Man in Black is trying to make his way to the center of a maze, so of course he and Teddy have to fight a man dressed as a minotaur on their way there. (Westworld, S01E08)
  • "There is no threshold that makes us greater than the sum of our parts, no inflection point at which we become fully alive. We can't define consciousness because consciousness does not exist. Humans fancy that there's something special about the way we perceive the world, and yet we live in loops as tight and as closed as the hosts do, seldom questioning our choices, content, for the most part, to be told what to do next. No, my friend, you're not missing anything at all." (Westworld, S01E08)
  • "Jackie Chan is too thirsty." (Insecure, S01E07)
  • "Let's do the nigga rundown." (Insecure, S01E07)
  • Titus doing the #UNameItChallenge (WWE Raw, 11-21-16)
  • RT: Titus sees Enzo's cock, Enzo tells him "no pictures." They're just ribbing the fuck out of Titus at this point. (WWE Raw, 11-21-16)
  • "I'll tell you whose fault it is…"
    "Roman Reigns!" (WWE Raw, 11-21-16)
  • Jericho wearing Sin Cara's mask [and a Nakamura hoodie] (WWE Raw, 11-21-16)
  • "Pretty big night. The three most important men in your life under one roof."
    "Well, Will Shortz isn't here…"
    "Ah. Burn on Holt…probably." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E07)
  • "These knives are a part of me, like that, uhh, scissorhand guy. What is his name again? Is it Rick Snip?" (New Girl, S06E07)
  • Crazyhead Season Grade: C
  • "I grabbed a little guac to help me cool off while Antonio continued to put it in the mitt." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E06)
  • ♫: "Since U Been Gone" (Search Party, S01E03)
  • Damn, Michael Showalter got fat (Search Party, S01E05)


The ending! (Search Party, S01E10)

  • Search Party Season Grade: C+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

47. Shawshank Redemption Role Play (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


Heh. (The Simpsons, S28E07)

  • Chet Haze! (Shameless, S07E07)
  • "I just slipped my dick down your throat and you thanked me for it." (The Walking Dead, S07E04)
  • "Vaya con Dios, motherfuckers." (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "You think I'm scared of death? I've done it a million times, and I'm fucking great at it. How many times have you died?" (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "I read a theory once that the human intellect was like peacock feathers – just an extravagant display intended to attract a mate. All of art, literature, a bit of Mozart, William Shakespeare, Michelangelo, and the Empire State Building – just an elaborate mating ritual. Maybe it doesn't matter that we have accomplished so much for the basest of reasons. But, of course, the peacock can barely fly. It lives in the dirt, pecking insects out of the muck, consoling itself with its great beauty. I have come to think of so much of consciousness as a burden, a weight, and we have spared them that. Anxiety, self-loathing, guilt. The hosts are the ones who are free. Free, here, under my control." (Westworld, S01E07)
  • "Kinda feel like masturbating." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)
  • "Homely Lonelys – these are plain women who don't have grandkids." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E06)
  • "You still got errands?!" (Insecure, S01E06)
  • "I can't see shit behind this big ass hat." (Insecure, S01E06)
  • Nia Jax (WWE Raw, 11-14-16)
  • "Chince McMahon." (WWE Raw, 11-14-16)
  • "How drunk is he?"
    "Remember the night they cancelled Bunheads?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • "Look at me. So drunk, I'm alliterating, like a beatnik." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • Holt's obsession with balloon arches (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E06)
  • "Just so we're clear, when you say you're a 7 breathing down a 6's back, are you referring to Cece? Is she the 6?" (New Girl, S06E06)
  • "I used to crush at the gym, and now I'm just mediocre, like early Beyoncé. Nobody will say it, but you know it's true." (New Girl, S06E06)
  • Joe Manganiello (New Girl, S06E06)
  • "All white people want is a sense of a community." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)
  • "Who put you up to this? Your white friends? No more white friends! New rule!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)
  • "P to the E to the Eabo Bryson." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E05)
  • Channel Zero Season Grade: C+
  • "Are you sure your dad's not gay?"
    "What? Are you insane? My— That's the most ridiculous thing I think I've ever heard. He watches Top Gear." (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "Stroke of midnight, on Halloween, she'll act as a gateway. The legions of Hell will pour into this world."
    "Are they really gonna pour out of her twat like on the poster?"
    "No. That was a screw-up by the designer." (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "Yeah, now who's the dickhead with a canoe on his car?" (Crazyhead, S01E05)
  • "It was my sanctuary, to relax."
    "Shut up. It's where you hid your side-chicks."
    "Side-chicks are very relaxing." (Black-ish, S03E07)
  • "Why did I think you liked Furbys?" (Rectify, S04E04)
  • Masturbatory ending (Rectify, S04E04)
  • "Did we get cleared to show Jewish butt?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E05)
  • "I dreamt that I showed Jewish butt." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E05)
  • "Name one family that's just a bunch of cells."
    "Osmosis Jones." (You're the Worst, S03E12)
  • ♫: Martha – "Ice Cream and Sunscreen" (You're the Worst, S03E12)
  • "It looks like it should be screaming at an old lady in an Aphex Twin video." (You're the Worst, S03E13)
  • You're the Worst Season Grade: C+
  • American Horror Story Season Grade: C+

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


46. Iguana vs. Snakes (Planet Earth II, S02E01)


Honourable Mention

  • Maeve tours Delos' headquarters (Westworld, S01E06)
  • Sam's chaotic morning (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Mark and Chris fight (Shark Tank, S08E08)
  • Walking Dead Chappelle's Show (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Football Party (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Stray Observations

  • "Vermont is nice…"
    "It's beautiful. The cows love dying there." (Bob's Burgers, S07E04)
  • "I'm gonna make like a tree and fuck you!" (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • "There's my powerful vagina." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E06)
  • Who's the Boss? (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: The Jam – "Town Called Malice" (The Walking Dead, S07E03)
  • ♫: Piano "Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • ♫: Vitamin String Quartet – "Motion Picture Soundtrack" by Radiohead (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "Is she becoming, like, a fuckin'…hentai thing with you now?" (Westworld, S01E06)
  • "If you're getting fucked either way, go with the lucrative version." (Westworld, S01E06)
  • The Gallagher Home for the Homeless interior looks like Sheila's house (Shameless, S07E06)
  • ♫: Dylan Kelly – "Silver Lining" (Shameless, S07E06)
  • Fire sprinkler shower (The Last Man on Earth, S03E05)
  • "Roscoe's got some talent!" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Problem – "D2B [feat. Bad Lucc and The Homegirl]" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • "I always thought it was about a girl named Sicario." (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: St. Beauty – "Borders" (Insecure, S01E05)
  • ♫: Wall of Voodoo – "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash (People of Earth, S01E03)
  • "Seriously? It looks like they're pouring out of her lady hole."
    "I thought that was the obvious place. You think it should be her asshole?" (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Gates of hell equals vagina." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "Feelings have to run both ways. Otherwise, it's just like…masturbating into naan bread."
    "Why naan bread?"
    "Had an Indian takeaway last night. Some leftovers. Seemed a shame to waste it." (Crazyhead, S01E04)
  • "You're all terrible people, with the saddest tan lines I've ever seen coming off any Hawaiian flight." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "All this talk of celibacy and male friendship. Meanwhile, I'm harbouring the nipple king of Lafayette High." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Is it a baby? I won't love it Ray, I'm sorry." (Speechless, S01E06)
  • "Jack took one look at what I did for a living and decided to spend the afternoon with a stranger doing maintenance work on the huh-vac."
    "It's H-vac." (Black-ish, S03E06)


(American Horror Story, S06E09)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • "Oh, I know…" drop (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "Jon, why do you always say 'I know' to dogs?"
    "I don't know. [dog barks] Right? I know… I don't know… I know… I don't know… I know…" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "I was ready to unleash my plan and turn this poo frown upside brown." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)
  • "You were great on Girls, by the way." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)


(Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E04)

  • Furbys (Rectify, S04E03)
  • "Or me, from Family Guy?" (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Miller, Von Miller." (South Park, S20E07)
  • "Ohh, he's pressin' pickle!" (South Park, S20E07)
  • Long unbroken takes (You're the Worst, S03E11)


(Jeopardy!, 11-10-16)

  • ♫: Laurie Anderson – "O Superman" (Better Things, S01E10)
  • Better Things Season Grade: D+
  • "What about undocumented immigrants?"
    "Oh, they're not going nowhere. Come on, man, you act like everybody trying to pick their own strawberries." (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)
  • Inside SNL – heh (Saturday Night Live, S42E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

45. Showering Together (Insecure, S01E04)


Stray Observations

  • "How much for one cornea?" (Shameless, S07E05)
  • "What's the use, honey? Rich people always win." (Shameless, S07E05)
  • "You know Daniel is your Achilles' dick." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "I think she walks to Ralphs to poop." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "Is this from Pie Hole?" (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "How you ever worked with Drake?"
    "Naw, but I'm producing a track real soon for Ty Dolla $ign."
    "So…not Drake." (Insecure, S01E04)
  • "What if I could introduce you to Ty Dolla $ign?" (Insecure, S01E04)
  • ["Roman sucks" chant]
    Mick Foley: "My wife loves you." (WWE Raw, 10-31-16)


(WWE Raw, 10-31-16)

  • Taiwan politics (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • Latino Morrissey fan (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • "How Soon Is Now?" adjace (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • I'm Jack Clovis, president of the Wallkeepers, and owner of a Blimpie Subs and Salads." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • "Tony Danza is the first person to lift someone up! His letters were the only thing keeping Pac alive!" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E04)
  • ♫: D.R.A.M. – "Broccoli [feat. Lil Yachty]" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "Free chicken sandwich day, nigga!" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "I don't know the titty median here." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • ♫: "Ride Wit Me"
    "This is Beyoncé's best song." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "What if we found out Ja Rule was just a dog?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "Speaking of money, how you think these sunflower seed companies make money? They're only 75 cents a pack. And now they're coming out with all these different flavours. You got barbecue, teriyaki, sushi…"
    "Sushi, nigga?"
    "Catfish…"
    "I don't know if I want no sushi seeds, man.
    "No, they're delicious."
    "Sushi sunflower seeds?"
    "Yeah, yeah."
    "Why you didn't get those?"
    "Don't really support sushi. I think it's a bigger issue than people talk about."
    "It's not like they killing the sushi and putting it in the seed, bro."
    "Oh, so that's artificial?"
    "That's artificial." (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "48 Hours. All black cast. Does that even work?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • "If y'all ever break up, would that be weird?" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • ♫: "Outkast" – "Elevators [Me and You]" (Atlanta, S01E10)
  • Atlanta Season Grade: A-
  • "Did it involve shitting in a sleeping bag?"
    "No."
    "Shitting on a pie? In a cooler? Tub of margarine? Crisp packet? Shitting in a baguette?" (Crazyhead, S01E03)
  • "You cut off my ear."
    "It's a present for Christmas. It's the best day of the year. We each get a pickled ear." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Fear and exhaustion gives the jerky a delicious tang." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "I'm supposed to go to Thailand next month. I've never been. I'm flying first class." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Do you want a joint?" (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "Shelby would never kill herself. She's way too self-centred to commit suicide." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "If I die, I just want you all to know I had so many wonderful performances waiting for you." (American Horror Story, S06E08)
  • "You say 'tomato,' I say 'mommy.'" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Do you have more of a fire engine red so it matches the nugget box?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Dave, I'm so sorry that you're gonna have dementia when you get older. Let's savour this moment, even though he won't remember it." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • "Totally cured, free guac!" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E03)
  • ♫: A Giant Dog – "Sex and Drugs" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • Doug Benson (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "Name one family that's just one person."
    "Suddenly Susan." (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "I have the wine" (You're the Worst, S03E10)
  • "What do you get somebody who wants to eat a unicorn? A unicorn bib! Yes! No! No, uhh, unicorn holders. You know, like, like corn holders, but for unicorns?" (The Good Place, S01E09)
  • "At night, it was pretty classic torture – flying piranhas, lava monsters, college improv…" (The Good Place, S01E09)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

44. "The year's most amazingly-directed television scene" (Quarry, S01E08)

The first seven-and-a-half minutes is one unbroken take. There's two seams – one when the plane flies overhead, the second as he throws the grenade in and it explodes.


Honourable Mention

  • Amy distracts Raquel's brother (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • Jon reads Gear-i's screenplay (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
  • Potato Parcel pitch (Shark Tank, S08E06)

Stray Observations

  • Tina as Liberace (Bob's Burgers, S07E03)
  • ♫: End credits song (Bob's Burgers, S07E03)
  • "Think of your life as a good time, not a long time." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E04)
  • "I wouldn't kill a spider either, because they're reincarnated wizards." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
  • "Hey, uhh, you guys have any herpes cream I could borrow?"
    "Oh, yeah, I think we might. A friend left some here." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
  • "No wonder Alangulon only knows about Zephyria through stereotypes. You've taught him nothing."
    "Well, maybe you should educate him. I find the best way to do that is through a culture's cuisine. That's how I learned all about Ohio." (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
  • Fried hay (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
  • "Can you use your karate to open up this pickle jar?" (Son of Zorn, S01E05)
  • The hatchet on the roof of the RV (The Walking Dead, S07E01)
  • RT: HOW DARE #TWD try to recreate the Fast franchise's outside dinner table camaraderie. (The Walking Dead, S07E01)
  • ♫: Piano "A Forest" (Westworld, S01E04)
  • "One more word and I'll cut your throat, understand? This is my fucking vacation." (Westworld, S01E04)
  • "This is the finest tobacco a man can enjoy, hand-rolled on the ample thighs of exotic women." (Westworld, S01E04)
  • "Slap leather, cocksuckers." (Westworld, S01E04)
  • "My fingers are Bugles." (The Last Man on Earth, S03E04)
  • "I told Molly I'd meet her at this stupid thing."
    "But you coming home, right? Don't let me catch you in the Rite-Aid."
    "Too soon." (Insecure, S01E03)
  • "Bitch, I'm-a call bell hooks on you." (Insecure, S01E03)
  • "Why don't more of them swim?"
    "Slavery." (Insecure, S01E03)
  • Jessica waking up Emery and Evan with the smell of a world history textbook (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E03)
  • "You shouldn't fuck with Mike Painter." (Channel Zero, S01E03)
  • "You must be confusing me with some other black guy." (Atlanta, S01E09)


(Atlanta, S01E09)

  • "Nigga, do I gotta explain alliteration?" (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Is this Hennessy?" (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "I prefer Craig Mack." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "It all takes place at a strip club. Two gangbangers hold a pastor, a drug dealer, and a pregnant teen hostage in the middle of Hurricane Katrina." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Can't eat if you don't open your mouth." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "I like Craig, but I love my money." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Jim Crow is haunting me / Like in that movie Poltergeist." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Every decent person has at least one triflin' thug in the family." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "I'm not gonna go back to Africa and find my roots, because, you know what? I'm fuckin' broke, dude." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Stop being so likable." (Atlanta, S01E09)
  • "Amy likes to fish in the river."
    "Really? I didn't know there were fish in there. What do you catch?"
    "Goldfish. Starfish. Cod." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • "What was that?"
    "It's foxes. Foxes having sex. They have barbs. On their dicks. It's a basic design flaw." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • "Sometimes, if I've run out of toilet paper, I use sliced bread to clean myself. If I run out of that, I use slices of ham. It's like a poor man's wet wipe." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • "Why did they bring him to an ice rink? Are demons into figure skating or something?"
    "Do demons like figure skating? Did you really just ask me that?"
    "I'm not familiar with their leisure pursuits." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • "That is beyond gross."
    "You wipe your ass with meat." (Crazyhead, S01E02)
  • "This is trending on Twitter – the real one, not the black one Empire owns." (Black-ish, S03E05)
  • "Haha. Like a regular Dane Cook."
    "That's not a compliment, Bow. We've gone through this." (Black-ish, S03E05)
  • "Why are you smiling? You know Charlie's not really dead, right?"
    "Yeah. But one day…" (Black-ish, S03E05)
  • "Leave me alone. I'm not American. I'm not used to all this carnage." (American Horror Story, S06E07)
  • Seasoning Lee's leg (American Horror Story, S06E07)
  • "GEEEEEAR!" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
  • "I was really excited to try out some of my sweet new camping gear. These cool walking sticks took my mind off the fact that three out of four people on this camping trip were fucking all night. The fine craftsmanship of this Audubon bird call distracted me from the searing humiliation and emasculation of being left out of a sex orgy. These cool tiny binoculars allowed me to not only get a close-up view of a Eurasian wryneck, but also a bird's-eye view of three people fucking inside a GEERTOP double layer two person tent." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
  • "Gear-i, would you read the lyrics to 'Hey Jealousy' by the Gin Blossoms?" (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E01)
  • Covering Steve's face with a black box in the title sequence (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
  • "It's not an adult film. It's not a porno."
    "But we're gonna show tit." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
  • "If we get the Glase, this movie gets AIDS."
    "What?"
    "Sorry, it was the first thing I thought of that rhymed." (Jon Glaser Loves Gear, S01E02)
  • "Kant would say that lying in any scenario is wrong, so if Michael asks you if you killed Janet, you should say 'yes.' On the other hand, snitches do get stitches." (The Good Place, S01E08)
  • "I used to take her to the mall sometimes and bought her churro dogs – it's a hot dog, but the bun is two churros, and it's tied together with a Slim Jim. It's an Arizona delicacy." (The Good Place, S01E08)
  • ♫: The Tallest Man on Earth – "Love Is All" (Better Things, S01E08)


(Quarry, S01E08)

  • Quarry Season Grade: C-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

43. Invisible Car (Atlanta, S01E08)


Honourable Mention

  • Diana Cross' death (American Horror Story, S06E06)
  • Paul = floor worm (You're the Worst, S03E08)
  • Black Jeopardy! (Saturday Night Live, S42E04)

Stray Observations

  • The young New Zealand actors' bad American accents (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E03)
  • Ian Gallagher (Son of Zorn, S01E04)
  • "Before I was a doctor, I was a production assistant on Living Single." (Son of Zorn, S01E04)
  • "Hummus sucks!" (Son of Zorn, S01E04)
  • "You know what? You're right, Alangulon. Not cool for an adult to do that to a kid, no. Hey, but you know what is cool? A little Blues Traveler!" (Son of Zorn, S01E04)
  • Young Anthony Hopkins (Westworld, S01E03)
  • "This pain… It's all I have left of him." (Westworld, S01E03)
  • Big Mouth Billy Bass alarm system (The Last Man on Earth, S03E03)
  • "I took all the bullet holes and I turned them into daisies. Watch your back, Martha Stewart [rest in peace]. And rather than get rid of all the angry messages, I thought maybe we should reclaim them. So instead of 'we're all going to die,' I wrote, 'we're all going to diet.'" (The Last Man on Earth, S03E03)
  • "Dear God, thank you for daddy Frank. He's the best new daddy we've ever had. And please let him let me be a boy named 'Dan' starting tomorrow." (Shameless, S07E03)
  • "Is you Khaleesi or that other bitch whose name I don't remember?" (Insecure, S01E02)
  • Commissary (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "Bought a bunch of new movies at the barbershop. Bootleg and chill?" (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "Lawrence, we are not about to be the black couple fighting in Rite-Aid." (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "We watch Lemonade, and then we go to Lemonade, and we eat." (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "Me and Nala were just about to go watch the Bare Bears."
    "Care Bears, daddy."
    "Uh-uh-uh-uh-uhhh! We use no C words, sweetheart. This a Blood house." (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "She know her A-B-Bs and shit." (Insecure, S01E02)
  • "I thought that was No Way Jose's less threatening cousin, Perhaps Not Jorge." (WWE Raw, 10-17-16)
  • The governor of Colorado chanting for Goldberg (WWE Raw, 10-17-16)
  • "Who do you work for, pizza man?!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E05)
  • "Cabbage." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E05)
  • "30 grams of fat?! Hummus is dumb!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E05)
  • "You remind me of my friend back in Indiana."
    "He was Chinese, wasn't he?" (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E02)
  • "Every time you smile, you're showing off your skeleton." (Channel Zero, S01E02)
  • Chinless James Ellsworth slipping out of AJ Styles' chinlock (WWE SmackDown Live, 10-18-16)
  • "Somebody smells like a Wendy's Double Stack." (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "Question: Have you ever had to throw out another bouncer?"
    "Yeah."
    "How was it?"
    "Hard. He knew all the moves." (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • The usual type (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • ♫: Jeremih – "Impatient (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)" (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, Marcus Miles has just bought the entire bar tonight. So…we will no longer be serving drinks. He owns all the liquor in the club, and, uhh, I think he's leaving!" (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • Zoo Tycoon (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "Nigerians, man…" (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "Let's exchange information or something."
    "Yeah! You can follow me on Instagram."
    "Come on…"
    "I'm for real gonna check out your music on SoundCloud." (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "I just don't scare people like you, man. Like, niggas know I drink juice and shit." (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • ♫: Baby Huey and the Baby Sitters – "Hard Times" (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • Miller High Life (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "Hey, man, you should really practice better business habits." (Atlanta, S01E08)
  • "They don't really have haircuts in Thailand. Have you noticed how all Asian guys basically have the same hairstyle?" (Crazyhead, S01E01)
  • "Have you ever slept with a guy with cold semen? If a guy's possessed, the semen's cold." (Crazyhead, S01E01)
  • ♫: Weaves – "Drag Me Down" (Crazyhead, S01E01)
  • "She's come to take my Saturn!" (American Horror Story, S06E06)
  • "Let's come together as a school – and terraform Mars." (South Park, S20E05)
  • Zoo Entrepreneur (You're the Worst, S03E08)
  • "You got me in with the pot people. They're the worst people. Worse than people who study abroad or atheists." (You're the Worst, S03E08)
  • "There's an old Chinese proverb: Lies are like tigers – they are bad."
    "That's it?"
    "It's more poetic in Mandarin." (The Good Place, S01E07)
  • 24-year-old with a boy voice (Shark Tank, S08E05)
  • "A twat is not a butt." (Quarry, S01E07)
  • RT: If you liked David Pumpkins, please thank Streeter Seidell, the co-writer of Kevin Roberts. (Saturday Night Live, S42E04)
  • James Norton or Matt Saracen? (Black Mirror, S03E01)
  • James Norton's bad American accent (Black Mirror, S03E01)
  • Czech Home Improvement (Black Mirror, S03E01)
  • Cherry Jones oscillating the steering wheel while driving straight (Black Mirror, S03E01)
  • Big Ass Spider! (Black Mirror, S03E02)
  • ♫: Radiohead – "Exit Music (for a Film)" (Black Mirror, S03E03)
  • Bubble Bobble (Black Mirror, S03E04)
  • Black Mirror Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

42. Dick Butt (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E02)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "Nobody light a match or flick your butts over this way. You're leaking diesel all over the place."
    "Did he say 'flick your butts'?"
    "Excuse me, where can we flick our butts? 'Cause that needs to happen pret-ty soon." (Bob's Burgers, S07E02)
  • ♫: "Rip It" – heh (Shameless, S07E02)
  • ♫: Piano "No Surprises" (Westworld, S01E02)
  • "I'd like to lick your vagina and then tongue-dart your anus." (Divorce, S01E01)
  • "You know who you are? You're Jesse James, and I get to be Sandra Bullock. And I get to rise from the ashes of humiliation and win a fucking Academy Award." (Divorce, S01E01)
  • "Every black girl that went to college likes Drake." (Insecure, S01E01)
  • "Stupid idiom." (WWE Raw, 10-10-16)
  • "John Philip Sousa, the Skrillex of his day." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E04)
  • "I tried to make this fun. I even learned what Skrillex was." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E04)
  • "It's a perfect fall New York Day" – she says in what is clearly Downtown Los Angeles (New Girl, S06E04)
  • Coach (New Girl, S06E04)
  • WKRP (Channel Zero, S01E01)
  • Eva Air (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • Ghost (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • "Please call me by the English name I've chosen: Hennessy." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • "Economy?"
    "Plus." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • "There are no pedophiles in Taiwan. People are too busy getting things done to have time for any hobbies." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • "I guess I just have sweet blood." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • "That's why you work at Kinko's in the first place – because you're shady." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E01)
  • ♫: Pixies – "Velouria" (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E09)
  • Chekov's floorboards (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E10)
  • ♫: "The King of Wishful Thinking" (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E10)
  • ♫: Bob Dylan – "New Morning" (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E10)
  • Halt and Catch Fire Season Grade: C
  • The Eric Andre Show's "We'll Be Right Back" music (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "You ever heard my song 'Illuminati Sex'?" (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • Nileseyy Niles (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "So how do you embrace your identity?"
    "I dress a certain way. Patagonia. I wear a thick, brown leather belt. I like to envision myself after the surgery. 'Hey, excuse me, what IPA do you have on tap? Hey, did you see Game of Thrones last night?'" (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "Excuse me, this is definitely the guy. He doesn't even live in the area. I've never seen him before." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "Rap is chickens coming home to roost." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "You hate women."
    "[bleep], what?!" (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "Most people don't realize their chakras in another universe." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "Come to our Liberty Centre and get a free juice and Nutella sandwich."
    "When I called Ahmad, my life was going nowhere fast. After a Nutella sandwich and juice, my life's a lot better." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "If you'd like to be smart as a baby dolphin, call now." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • "You look like a dying palm tree." (Atlanta, S01E07)
  • Doris Kearns Goodwin (American Horror Story, S06E05)
  • "But first, let's rouge each other's nipples." (American Horror Story, S06E05)
  • "Need I remind you that you are a servant as well. Do not think your velvet tongue and purple cock head are enough to make you any more than that." (American Horror Story, S06E05)
  • "It was said that madness always ran in the family. The line ended in scandal when the last Mott died in South Florida in 1952" – S04's Dandy (American Horror Story, S06E05)
  • "I was half-expecting you to be another high maintenance diva."
    "Oh, no, you're probably thinking of Ben Kweller." (You're the Worst, S03E07)
  • Ben Folds' famous smoked pork shoulder (You're the Worst, S03E07)
  • "Hey, folks, if you're gonna Instagram this, be sure to hashtag #BenFoldsSightings, #BenFoldsIsEverywhere, and #BenFoldsMovesToLA. If you do, I'll personally tell you what 'Brick' is really about."
    "Abortion."
    "…No." (You're the Worst, S03E07)
  • "If your Uber driver talks to you, the ride should be free." (The Good Place, S01E06)
  • "I've come to really like frozen yogurt. There's something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it." (The Good Place, S01E06)
  • "Well, since we're becoming friends, like Ross and Phoebe…"
    "Weird combo to pick, but okay…" (The Good Place, S01E06)
  • "I got her a painting of the best impressionist of all time: Frank Caliendo. He can do it all – fat Al Pacino, fat Jerry Seinfeld, regular John Madden…" (The Good Place, S01E06)
  • Ted Danson "pumping his fists" (The Good Place, S01E06)
  • "I give up. I can't help the people I promised to help. I feel like Friends in season eight." (The Good Place, S01E06)


(The Good Place, S01E06)

  • "Dude, I know you. You're Ramadan Steve." (The Eric Andre Show, S04E10)
  • Malfunctioning coffee mug (The Eric Andre Show, S04E10)
  • The Eric Andre Show Season Grade: B-
  • "CHONK!" (Saturday Night Live, S42E03)
  • Bruno Mars performing in basketball shorts (Saturday Night Live, S42E03)
  • "You wanna watch me whip and nae nae, Thembi?" (Luke Cage, S01E06)
  • "The ex-wife took all my money. She still needs the dick." (Luke Cage, S01E06)
  • Cottonmouth died so Mahershala Ali could appear in four 2016 film releases and be nominated for an Oscar (Luke Cage, S01E07)
  • "Domingo, sorry about the mess, hermano, but I have no doubt you have people that can clean up." (Luke Cage, S01E09)
  • "You think Peter Luger's is still open?" (Luke Cage, S01E09)
  • "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" (Luke Cage, S01E11)
  • Method Man (Luke Cage, S01E12)
  • Sway and Heather B. (Luke Cage, S01E12)
  • Diamondback's costume (Luke Cage, S01E12)
  • "Wait, wait, wait. Yo, the dude's talking about your moms, Luke. You reppin' Harlem, you better put it on him, son." (Luke Cage, S01E13)
  • Luke Cage Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

41. Immersion Therapy (You're the Worst, S03E06)


Stray Observations


(Ash vs. Evil Dead, S02E01)

  • "Hey, Earl Sweatpants." (Son of Zorn, S01E03)
  • "And they cheered for their hero, for they knew their burritos would be bland no longer." (Son of Zorn, S01E03)
  • "I've taken it upon myself to ensure that future generations will know the story of Alangulon, kicker of fat kids, haver of sadistic rage underneath his effeminate exterior, future castrater of Craig!" (Son of Zorn, S01E03)
  • ♫: Piano "Black Hole Sun" (Westworld, S01E01)
  • Rick and Morty (Shameless, S07E01)
  • Teen moms (Shameless, S07E01)
  • "Lullaby time. Go to sleep / Daddy's dead / But his ghost's always watching…" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E03)
  • "When singing Toto, why is it always 'Africa'? They've got a deep catalog!" (New Girl, S06E03)


(Atlanta, S01E06)

  • "Sometimes Grandma forgets she's been saved." (Black-ish, S03E03)
  • O.J.: Made in America (Black-ish, S03E03)
  • "'10 million fireflies' is hard to recover from." (Black-ish, S03E03)
  • "I'm sure you've paid for more than your fair share of murder flowers." (Black-ish, S03E03)
  • "Ooh. Anything to eat in there?" (You're the Worst, S03E06)
  • "Ooh. Flautas – Mexico's spring roll." (You're the Worst, S03E06)
  • "Honestly, I'd murder for a Coke Zero." (American Horror Story, S06E04)
  • "Tell me, young man, have you ever heard the term 'gay for pay'?" (American Horror Story, S06E04)


(American Horror Story, S06E04)

  • "There ain't no return policy. This ain't L.L. Bean." (Luke Cage, S01E03)
  • ♫: Wu-Tang Clan – "Bring Da Ruckus" (Luke Cage, S01E03)
  • "Shut up, Black Mariah!" (Luke Cage, S01E03)
  • A bazooka? (Luke Cage, S01E03)
  • "You look like a damn fool." (Luke Cage, S01E04)
  • "Teddy Riley, Big L, A$AP Rocky." (Luke Cage, S01E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

40. Guns don't kill people (Atlanta, S01E05)


Honourable Mention

  • Silent Student Film (You're the Worst, S03E05)
  • Chris Jericho (The Eric Andre Show, S04E08)
  • Mr. Robot (Saturday Night Live, S42E01)

Stray Observations

  • "How could she be so sick but still so strong?"
    "Like the economy!" (Bob's Burgers, S07E01)
  • "It's so cool how he's, like, a spirit that can be different things to different people."
    "Like Tom Brady." (Bob's Burgers, S07E01)
  • "Chicks love corn nuts." (Son of Zorn, S01E02)
  • Betty Draper shot Don Draper (The Last Man on Earth, S03E01)
  • "God, Tandy, why do you have such a tent in your shorts about these guys?"
    "That's collected fabric!" (The Last Man on Earth, S03E01)
  • Ballers Season Grade: D
  • "Cool, cool cool cool cool cool. Our country is broken." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E02)
  • "See you never, drive-through vape station!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E02)
  • "We can outsmart some small town sheriff. We're NYPD detectives. We caught the Son of Sam. Ice T plays us on TV. We keep the Tonys safe." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E02)
  • "Enjoy your blood yogurt." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E02)
  • "Maria Conchita Alonzo. Celery Flintstone." (New Girl, S06E02)
  • "'Every moment you're on this earth is a moment I know where you are.' You know who wrote that?"
    "Great James Baldwin."
    "No, you wr— James Baldwin? What?!" (New Girl, S06E02)
  • Black Bieber (Atlanta, S01E05)
  • "How much for a beer?"
    "Oh, it's gratis."
    "Oh, well… I'll have a Hennessy and Grand Marnier." (Atlanta, S01E05)
  • "I guess I've been trying to be so cool lately that I became something I'm not."
    [turns hat forward]
    "This is me. This is the real Justin." (Atlanta, S01E05)
  • "People don't want Justin to be the asshole; they want you to be the asshole. You're a rapper. That's your job." (Atlanta, S01E05)
  • Biz Markie (Empire, S03E02)
  • Andre's life matters? (Empire, S03E02)
  • "We have surrounded our kids with so much white people stuff that they no longer believe in God. So, from here on out, no more almond milk, radicchio, hummus, goat cheese, or quail egg. To hell with Whole Foods. From here on out, we are a Food 4 Less family. And you know who shops there? True believers." (Black-ish, S03E02)
  • Cuba Gooding Jr. doggystyling Lady Gaga (American Horror Story, S06E03)
  • A Taiwanese dude named "Jianyu" (The Good Place, S01E04)
  • "It's impossible for anything to be more perfect than perfect."
    "It isn't, actually. Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That's how you got Beyoncé." (The Good Place, S01E04)
  • "Beautiful, beautiful Jacksonville." (The Good Place, S01E04)
  • "Of course I have dreams, man. I don't want to be a DJ in Jacksonville forever. I want to DJ in Daytona, Tallahassee, Tampa even. I want it all." (The Good Place, S01E04)
  • "Bortles!" (The Good Place, S01E04)
  • An episode told from a dog's point of view (High Maintenance, S01E03)
  • Hannibal Buress roundhouse-kicking Flavor Flav in the face (The Eric Andre Show, S04E08)
  • J.B. Smoove? (Transparent, S03E01)
  • Nathan Fielder? (Transparent, S03E02)
  • "Jewish men don't do demo."
    "I am a Jewish woman, Joshy, and Jewish women do whatever the fuck they want." (Transparent, S03E05)
  • "Who's Trevor?"
    "He's the gay who comes with my room. I am on a completely different level. I get a poached egg on demand." (Transparent, S03E10)
  • Transparent Season Grade: C+
  • Raphael Saddiq (Luke Cage, S01E01)
  • "You like my Biggie photo?" (Luke Cage, S01E01)
  • "Just slapped you like a little bitch. I'm not the kind of man to used a closed fist on a woman." (Luke Cage, S01E01)
  • An ABC production using a TNT NBA telecast (Luke Cage, S01E02)
  • "I'm surprised to see you this far uptown."
    "I'm mostly midtown nowadays. Puffy ain't got shit on me, baby. I'm the real bad boy worldwide." (Luke Cage, S01E02)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

39. Toy Story (Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E10)


Honourable Mention

  • Graveyard Slumber Party (One Mississippi, S01E06)

Stray Observations

  • Mike Schur "cameo" (The Good Place, S01E01)
  • Point system examples (The Good Place, S01E01)
  • An Asian character named "Jianyu" (The Good Place, S01E01)
  • Ted Danson licking his sweat (The Good Place, S01E02)
  • "I wasn't freakin' Gandhi, but I was okay… I was a medium person. I should get to spend eternity in a medium place, like Cincinnati. Everyone who wasn't perfect but wasn't terrible should get to spend eternity in Cincinnati." (The Good Place, S01E02)
  • "We could've literally been flying, and all you wanted to do was talk about morals. I mean, you're like the worst part of Superman." (The Good Place, S01E02)
  • "I'm not a mountain of strength; I'm a canyon…full of poo poo." (The Good Place, S01E02)
  • "End of the line, slut."
    "I'm sorry. Huh? What are you trying to say?"
    "He said, 'End of the line, slut'!" (Vice Principals, S01E09)
  • Principal Gamby knife (Vice Principals, S01E09)
  • Vice Principals Season Grade: D+
  • Father John Misty (Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E10)
  • Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio Season Grade: D
  • DJ B-day (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E01)
  • "That's a high school graduation ring. Dan Marino High."
    "Marino High. Home of the Dolphins, I suspect."
    "No, Pet Detectives."
    "Classic film. One of my childhood favourites. And it only gets overtly transphobic at the very end, so, a win." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E01)
  • "I poked my head in the shower. Perfect. Gentle, unrelenting pressure. Like when my mom made me rehearse my Haftorah portion. (New Girl, S06E01)
  • Schmidt's pronunciation of "coupons" (New Girl, S06E01)
  • "You can't control who you panache." (New Girl, S06E01)
  • "Narnia…" (New Girl, S06E01)
  • Arthur meme (Atlanta, S01E04)
  • "But you know who Steve McQueen is, though."
    "Yeah, well, I'm Nigerian." (Atlanta, S01E04)
  • "Black people don't know who Steve McQueen is." (Atlanta, S01E04)
  • "Chinese people are short 'cause of Genghis Khan." (Atlanta, S01E04)
  • ♫: Michael Kiwanuka – "Home Again" (Atlanta, S01E04)
  • Birdman (Empire, S03E01)
  • "You got to go ahead of Green Day. Did you see the puss on Tré Cool?" (Black-ish, S03E01)
  • "This isn't Burn Notice. There are no blue skies for you out there. Characters like you are not welcome here." (Mr. Robot, S02E12)
  • "TerenceColby@aol.com." (Mr. Robot, S02E12)
  • "What is really happening?" (Mr. Robot, S02E12)
  • Mr. Robot Season Grade: C
  • "That's what the money's for!" (You're the Worst, S03E04)
  • "Nothing gets this pimp through a dumb baby class like toilet beer." (You're the Worst, S03E04)
  • "Rainbro Cones" (One Mississippi, S01E05)
  • One Mississippi Season Grade: C-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

38. Car chase shot in one take from inside Quarry's car (Quarry, S01E02)


Stray Observations

  • "That was the old me, sex with the mountain trolls." (Son of Zorn, S01E01)
  • Terrell Suggs sex scene (Ballers, S02E08)
  • "This is why you don't drink Icehouse at band practice." (Vice Principals, S01E08)
  • "You know why I got that Tanqueray tattooed on my back?" (Vice Principals, S01E08)
  • ♫: Garth Knight – "88 MPH" (Vice Principals, S01E08)
  • "So you can fuck Bill Hayden, but I can't let Jen Abbott suck upon my penis?" (Vice Principals, S01E08)
  • ♫: Run the Jewels – "A Christmas Fucking Miracle" (Vice Principals, S01E08)
  • "We fitna go run up on a hog right now." (Running Wild with Bear Grylls, S03E06)


(WWE SmackDown Live, 09-13-16)

  • "How do you make money?"
    "I sell drugs. It's lucrative."
    "Yeah, man. It's easy. People are addicted to 'em." (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • "What you call your gun?"
    "Nigga, 'gun.'" (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • Migos (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • "Can I get you something to drink?"
    "Uh, tap water's fine."
    "Earn, I can't drink by myself."
    "Do you have a Miller High Life? Like, the ones in the can?"
    "[chuckles] We got a hipster." (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • "Man, he nervous as hell. Look at him."
    "He's shaking."
    "Well, it's a drug deal, so it's…total vibes." (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • Valet callback (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • "The Four Migos." (Atlanta, S01E03)
  • Joe has an AIDS scare (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E05)
  • MasterChef Season Grade: D
  • "Defeats can still be profitable." (Mr. Robot, S02E11)
  • "I am a woman of time." (Mr. Robot, S02E11)

RT: There were four songs in the episode specifically from the Back to the Future soundtrack. Back to the Future: Part II was very much about alternate timelines.


If we want to know more about Phase 2, we need to listen. (Mr. Robot, S02E11)

  • O.J. and Marcia (American Horror Story, S06E01)
  • Chaz Bono plays one of the hillbilly neighbours (American Horror Story, S06E01)
  • "My brother married one jumpy bitch." (American Horror Story, S06E01)
  • The Blair Witch Story (American Horror Story, S06E01)
  • The ground breathing (American Horror Story, S06E01)
  • "You cannot just show up places."
    "Well, then stop Foursquaring yourself every time you leave the house like the mayor of Thirstytown. Also, stop using Foursquare like the mayor of 2011." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "Can we go on a cruise? That's my dream vacation."
    "Okay, well, if your idea of paradise is succumbing to norovirus on a floating red state, then…sure." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "We also have a cutting edge new line-up of the hottest new hybrid workouts: Piloxing [pilates and boxing], yogitsu [yoga and jiu-jitsu], spowing [spinning and rowing], Zustified [that's Zumba while you binge-watch Justified]…" (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "Poor Ronnie, poor Jimmy, poor camel….poor Bing Bong." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "I'm late teaching Treadsparent. It's running on a treadmill while you watch…" (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "These hand crutches were all Lindsay could find at the medical supply."
    "I don't like that place. So many weird toilets." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • Heckle file tabs: Nutrition, poor people, rollerbladers, the shy, sober people, standard def TV, Tesco, Van Halen (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "I'm afraid some of these heckles are a bit of out of date. 'Edgar, I liked you better when you were writing and starring in the hit musical In The Heights." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "Is this about you being molested? Boo hoo. Every neighbourhood had a handsy fishmonger." (You're the Worst, S03E03)
  • "Keep the change, you filthy animal." (High Maintenance, S01E01)


"He's like Mr. Robot or some shit! He's erasing the phone!" (High Maintenance, S01E01)

  • "It's time to eat out a Georgia O'Keeffe painting!" (The Eric Andre Show, S04E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

37. My Girl (Atlanta, S01E02)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • ♫: OJ da Juiceman – "No Hook" (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • Cracked iPhone screen (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Could you pick up Lotte? I'm getting a job and Van's on a date."
    "Really! Good for her." (Atlanta, S01E01)


(Atlanta, S01E01)

  • "I need Malcolm. You too Martin. You know what they did to him? They killed him."
    "Didn't they kill Malcolm too?"
    "No, they say that, but ain't nobody seen the body since the funeral."
    "…That's how funerals work." (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "What you really need is a silent wild card, somebody who's about the money, the opportunity, who can play both sides as needed."
    "Oh, like Don Lemon." (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "I'm sorry, who is this dude?"
    "Darius, man! We met over there by the…when you first walked in…I gave you a cookie…" (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Ain't you homeless?"
    "Not real homeless. I'm not using a rat as a phone or something…"
    "That make you schizophrenic. That don't make you homeless."
    "If you could use a rat as a phone, man, that'd be genius. It's like five rats for every one person in New York alone. Everybody would have an affordable phone. It'd be messy, but…worth it." (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Muckin' / Muckin' / That's massage and fuckin'…" (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Did you just come from that dumpster?"
    "No." (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "I was just wondering, could I measure your tree?" (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • Nutella (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Nigga, if you don't bite this sandwich…" (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "I like Flo Rida. Moms need to enjoy rap too." (Atlanta, S01E01)
  • "Ey, you listen to Gucci Mane?
    "Yeah…"
    "Man, I locked that nigga up!" (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • "One more for the Instasluts…" (Atlanta, S01E02)


(Atlanta, S01E02)

  • "Lemon pepper wet?!" (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • Glowing box of wings (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • ♫: Rich the Kid – "Running Threw It" (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • "'Is Paper Boi Atlanta's Tupac?' …They say no." (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • ♫: Bill Withers – "Grandma's Hands" (Atlanta, S01E02)
  • Duck Hunt dog laughing (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E04)
  • Gordon freeze frame (Halt and Catch Fire, S03E04)
  • ♫: Bleach 03 – "The Head That Controls Both Right and Left Sides Eats Meat and Slobbers Even Today" (Mr. Robot, S02E10)
  • ♫: Daft Punk – "Armory" (Mr. Robot, S02E10)
  • ♫: The Submarines – "Brightest Hour" (Better Things, S01E01)
  • "If you want to see a fat man farting into a girl's mouth, type in 'fat fart mouth.'" (Better Things, S01E01)
  • "Magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, ATHEISM!" (The Eric Andre Show, S04E05)


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E05)


"I'm giving birth to jazz." (The Eric Andre Show, S04E05)

  • "I gave birth to jeans." (The Eric Andre Show, S04E05)
  • "You ready for some autism?" (The Eric Andre Show, S04E05)
  • ♫: Sufjan Stevens – "Should Have Known Better" (One Mississippi, S01E02)
  • "Some of you young assholes did not prepare." (Last Chance U, S01E03)
  • Last Chance U Season Grade: B-

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


36. First Line, Every Line (The Late Late Show with James Corden, 08-29-16)


Stray Observations

  • "We've got more on the kid." (The Night Of, S01E08)
  • The judge is the Yellow King (The Night Of, S01E08)
  • "So chin up, finish this trial, and then clear out your fuckin' desk." (The Night Of, S01E08)


(The Night Of, S01E08)

  • "Everyone's got a cross to bear. Fuck 'em all. Live your life." (The Night Of, S01E08)
  • RT: THE CAT WAS THE CURE FOR HIS SKIN THING (The Night Of, S01E08)
  • The Night Of Season Grade: B
  • Myles Jack (Ballers, S01E07)
  • ♫: Mac Dre (Ballers, S01E07)
  • "Hayden? That recycling cunt? He wears clothes from Structure." (Vice Principals, S01E07)
  • "For your information, I got this at Nordstrom. I didn't fuck any zebras."
    "Pshh. Nordstrom Rack…"
    "No, real Nordstrom!" (Vice Principals, S01E07)
  • ♫: Public Image Ltd – "The Order of Death" (Mr. Robot, S02E09)
  • "My man Paul Reiser, he just doesn't get the credit he deserves. Man is spectacular, phenomenal." (Mr. Robot, S02E09)
  • "Young Thug at Sufjan Stevens' broth restaurant." (You're the Worst, S03E01)
  • "Crepes are just pancakes for assholes." (You're the Worst, S03E01)
  • "I deserve to be blown before the jacuzzi." (You're the Worst, S03E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek


Looking ahead:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


35. Ariel Pink (The Eric Andre Show, S04E04)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations


(Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E07)


(Fleabag, S01E06)

  • Fleabag Season Grade: C-


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E04)


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E04)


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E04)

  • "Puerto Ricans don't say 'muddafuckee.'" (The Get Down, S01E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


34. Knoxville man thought he dated Katy Perry for six years online (Catfish: The TV Show, S05E15)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Well, Naz escalated quickly… (The Night Of, S01E06)
  • "Fuckin' Kuechly…" (Ballers, S02E05)
  • "Hey, listen, Rihanna…" (Ballers, S02E05)
  • "Is this what circles is supposed to be like? We sit around on beanbags and discuss the flavour of young boys' penises?" (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "I never go off into the goddamn woods. Everyone knows that about me." (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "Stop accusing me of fucking men in the woods." (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "Cunt sucker"? (Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E06)
  • Joey Bada$$ being badass (Mr. Robot, S02E06)


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E03)

  • "A good steak's like a prize fight – it ain't good unless it's bloody." (The Get Down, S01E02)
  • "Somebody taught you how to do that championship fucking." (The Get Down, S01E03)
  • "Nigga, this is Flash territory." (The Get Down, S01E04)
  • "Herbert Gunns wants to talk to me? What for?"
    "He said it's about cock."
    "Cock? What, what the fuck are you talking about?"
    "Cock! Ed Cock!"
    "Ed Koch?!"
    […]
    "He said he's the man behind cock."
    "KOCH!" (The Get Down, S01E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


33. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog stages a focus group with Trump's biggest supporters, presenting a series of increasingly outrageous and extremely fake campaign ads, to find out how far they're willing to go in support of their candidate. (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)


Honourable Mention

  • Muslim Dunk Tank (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)
  • Rapper Warrior Ninja (The Eric Andre Show, S04E02)

Stray Observations

  • Ellen (The Night Of, S01E05)
  • Duane Reade (The Night Of, S01E05)


(Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E05)

  • Alf (Mr. Robot, S02E05)
  • "Immigrants don't enter America nearly as often as Donald Trump enters immigrants." (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)
  • "If I fuck up my pants, I'm-a kill you twice." (The Get Down, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

32. American Authors…in a human centipede (The Eric Andre Show, S04E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Donnie looks distractingly like Bradley Cooper (Preacher, S01E10)
  • "You're not God, are you?"
    "I am the alpha and the omega."
    "No, you're not. I just saw you picking your nose."
    "Noo…my son, I was…scratching it." (Preacher, S01E10)
  • Preacher Season Grade: C
  • "I bet when she gets up here she smells like fucked buttholes." (Vice Principals, S01E03)
  • "My wine sack! Who did this? Who drank my Chablis?!"
    "No one drank it. We poured it out. The pouch made it taste all meaty." (Vice Principals, S01E03)
  • "Ma'am, if I may, why drug him? Would've been just as easy to shoot and leave."
    "Killing a man instantly robs him of explanation. He has no time to process his final moments. Now, even though he was paralyzed, his mind was still able to understand why his life was ending. We let him die with answers. Otherwise, we're nothing but ruthless murderers." (Mr. Robot, S02E04)
  • Josh Groban Night (Mr. Robot, S02E04)
  • "It's like having sex with a protractor." (Fleabag, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
The New AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

31. Arsehole Guy (Fleabag, S01E02)


Honourable Mention

  • My Perfect America (Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E03)
  • AWOLNATION – "Sail" (Fleabag, S01E02)

Stray Observations

  • The angels wait for the shuttle bus to Hell in front of the Bear Canyon Arroyo Spillway Dam, which is where Ed on Breaking Bad picked up clients who needed to be disappeared. The same dog even walks across the street (Preacher, S01E09)
  • Sticky Fingaz and Lord Jamar (The Night Of, S01E03)
  • Eczema support group (The Night Of, S01E03)
  • ♫: Kakou – "Live in This Moment" (Ballers, S02E02)
  • Shaun wiping his cake (MasterChef, S07E09)
  • RT: OH WE LET THE SEAWARD FLY BUT WE CANT SAY FUCK INNIT @USA_Network (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • Clinton Street Baking Company and The MasalaWala (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • "Annihilation is always the answer. We destroy parts of ourselves every day. We photoshop our warts away. We edit the parts we hate about ourselves, modify the parts we think people hate. We curate our identity, carve it, distill it. Annihilation is all we are." (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • Bad Mandarin (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • ♫: Lullaby version of Green Day – "Basket Case" (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • Decker: Unclassified Season Grade: F


Academy Award nominee John C. Reilly (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S04E06)

  • Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule Season Grade: D
  • "I thought it'd be warmer if we slept in the same bed." (Bates Motel, S04E08)
  • "He's a good man, and I like him."
    [Norman literally vomits] (Bates Motel, S04E08)
  • "He had an axe in his hand and he wanted to kill me!"
    "Yeah, well, are you dead?" (Bates Motel, S04E09)
  • Bates Motel Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Veep

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

30. Thanks, Obama (Fleabag, S01E01)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "You want Jew time? Do a Jew crime." (The Night Of, S01E02)
  • "She got her master's from Berkeley."
    "Yeah, I bet she went to Berkeley, and I'm pretty affirmative how she got in." (Vice Principals, S01E01)
  • "I am the scream in your mind." (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • Dominique's sex chat buddy is "happyhardonhenry806," a nod to Christian Slater's pirate radio DJ in Pump Up the Volume (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • "All we are to them are paying fanboys of their poorly-written sci-fi franchise." (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • "You know that bullshit people say about how, when you fall, you gotta get up? I reject that shit, man. You know why? The whole thing is a fall. It can't help but be. A perpetual state of grasping in the dark. It's not about getting up, it's about stumbling, stumbling in the right direction. It's the only true way to move forward." (Mr. Robot, S02E03)
  • "He's like a blog that nobody reads, but in human form." (Looking, S03E01)
  • ♫: Lower Dens – "I Get Nervous" (Looking, S03E01)
  • Looking Season Grade: C+
  • Jimmy Kimmel? (Trailer Park Boys, S10E06)
  • Doug Benson? (Trailer Park Boys, S10E07)
  • "Let's go buy some cocks of pepperoni!" (Trailer Park Boys, S10E07)
  • "He was feeding the geese." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E08)
  • "I'm not gonna fall in love with Tom Arnold because I love you." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E08)
  • "Ricky thinks small cocks are funnier." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E10)
  • ♫: Nightingale Cummings – "Maybe Tomorrow" (Trailer Park Boys, S10E10)
  • Trailer Park Boys Season Grade: C


(BoJack Horseman, S03E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Veep

#clipoftheweek


Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


29. Two turnips in heat (Trailer Park Boys, S10E03)


Stray Observations


(Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E01)

  • Joey Bada$$ discussing Seinfeld (Mr. Robot, S02E01)
  • "A guy walks up to a woman at a bar. He flirts with her, he makes small talk, but the woman insists she isn't gonna go home with him. Guy says, 'What if I offer you a million dollars to sleep with me?' The woman's never had a million dollars in her life. She stops and considers the offer very seriously. The guy changes his mind, says, 'What if I change my offer to a dollar instead?' Woman is aghast. 'What kind of woman do you think I am?' Guy says, 'We already figured that out. Now we're just negotiating.'" (Mr. Robot, S02E02)
  • "I'm late for my church group. Peace." (Mr. Robot, S02E02)
  • Al Jardine (Decker: Unclassified, S01E04)
  • "Trumpets make you go brown." (Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule, S04E04)
  • "Jesus, boys, he's eating ground pizza." (Trailer Park Boys, S10E04)
  • "Well, that's a cobra strike to all of our erect wangs!" (Trailer Park Boys, S10E04)
  • ♫: Joy Division – "Atmosphere" (Stranger Things, S01E04)
  • Stranger Things Season Grade: B+

The New AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Veep

#clipoftheweek