Brazilian Sugaring

Viacom must really be struggling to re-use last year's Video Music Awards logo.

I hope the motion graphics package for this year's show is at least different. It's the main reason I still tune in.

Every time I see the trailer for The Darkest Minds, I chuckle at its title card:

Mutants! Revolution! That typography!

And on the other end of the spectrum:

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

28. Emoji Focus Group (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Eating Ortolan (Succession, S01E06)
  • Millennial Focus Group (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E03)

Stray Observations

  • ♫: The Acid – "Ghost" (Sharp Objects, S01E01)
  • ♫: The Acid – "Tumbling Lights" (Sharp Objects, S01E01)
  • "Are you a G-string? No! So stay out of my ass!" (Pose, S01E06)

(Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E03)

  • Danny Bowien (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E04)
  • "Was that *NSYNC?"
    "So? It still applies."
    "It still applies!" (WWE SmackDown LIVE, 07-10-18)
  • The Handmaid's Tale Season Grade: C
  • ♫: The original Farmer Jack song (Detroiters, S02E05)

(Detroiters, S02E05)

  • "People in the comments section roast you. I mean, they light you up."
    "Like I care what people who watch your tutorials say about me. What is one?"
    "'When did Chucky grow up and get ugly?'"
    "Chucky grow up to get ugly?! Chucky's ugly as a boy! Bad logic! Next!" (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "It's not making me horny."
    "I'm sorry?"
    "I didn't get any wood. Look. No wood. Flat as a board, you know? Well, that's a piss dot right there. Sometimes when I urine, I don't stop it all the way, and, you know, it comes out on my clothes." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Sam, the last time we sang that song, we were in love."
    "Yeah, we almost got engaged. I put a ring in a piece of cake."
    "I ate the cake."
    "And then, when we went through your stool, there were two diamond rings in there. That's how I knew you were cheating on me." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Ladies and gentlemen, we have genuine wood. Huh?! Look at that! That's a piss dot right there, but it's old." (Detroiters, S02E05)
  • "Whoa, was that Blade?" (Detroiters, S02E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You


Fish, Don't Kill My Vibe

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Jul 2012): Ben and I made a Breaking Bad supercut. Enjoy.

Forged in Fire: Knife or Death is a silly History Channel programme in which people try to cut through various things as Bill Goldberg commentates.

One such thing is a hanging fish which contestants must cut through in one swipe.

I made a supercut of contestants failing to do so. Enjoy!

Defend the orb

You know how the Paralympics happen after an Olympics in the same host city using the same facilities?

Idea: A second World Cup following a World Cup played by the substitute/bench halves of the 32 World Cup squads – an NIT World Cup.

Olympic Soccer Idea: Instead of a CBI World Cup, three-on-three six-on-six soccer with two goalies in each net.

Premier League Idea: If you incur two red cards in one season, you incur a green card, which forces you to immediately join and play for an MLS team until next EPL season begins. Enough MLS teams exist to pair off with every EPL team for ease of transfer.

Sketch Idea: What if Jim Cantore was Andrés Cantor? Andrés Cantor reporting from a severe weather event. "COOOOOOOOOOOLLLD!!!"

Idea I don't know what to do with: French Montana, an area of Montana that's like Quebec is to Canada.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

27. Madison Beer (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E02)

Honourable Mention

  • ASMR Teenage Riot (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E02)

Stray Observations

  • "And what is that on your lips, Lisa? Oh, it's just your favourite lip gloss: sperm." (Pose, S01E05)
  • "This whole family is a nest of vipers. They'll wrap themselves around you and they'll suffocate you."
    "I'm pretty sure… I'm pretty sure that's boa constrictors." (Succession, S01E05)
  • "What am I doing later? How 'bout watch a cisgendered homeless man with perfect tits land a gnarly ollie on his skateboard?" (Mostly 4 Millennials, S01E01)
  • ♫: Thutmose – "Run Wild [feat. NoMBe]" (Cloak and Dagger, S02E06)

(Detroiters, S02E04)

  • "He has your father's strength. He hit Jerry in the back of the head with a chair and then Rock Bottomed him."
    "He Rock Bottomed him?"
    "That's a finisher…" (Detroiters, S02E04)
  • "You don't need your Slipknot mask…"
    "Yes, I do!"
    "When are you gonna use it?!"
    "Take a shower…"
    "You take a shower with a Slipknot mask?" (Detroiters, S02E04)

» "You've…cut the shit outta your lip, sir." (Detroiters, S02E04)

  • "I just thought that the game was living as long as possible, instead of dying on your own terms." (GLOW, S02E07)
  • GLOW Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You


Our next eater is at decaf

♫ 'Cause you're the next Drew Barry
And I want more
And all these other girls keep wondering what I fuck with you for ♫

What is this song?

Goddammit, Shazam. Load faster!

Bryce Vine – "Drew Barrymore."

Another song titled "Drew Barrymore"?!

♫ You doing something to me
These rappers I devour
You stand in my direction in this Santa Clarita diet ♫

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

26. Andrés Cantor dies (Copa Mundial FIFA Rusia 2018: Nigeria vs. Argentina, 06-26-18)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "What humans define as sane is a narrow range of behaviours. Most states of consciousness are insane." (Westworld, S02E10)
  • "The truth is that a human is just a brief algorithm."
    "They're just algorithms designed to survive at all costs." (Westworld, S02E10)
  • "The dead world collapses in a tale." (Westworld, S02E10)
  • "The dead aren't more righteous; they're just dead." (Westworld, S02E10)
  • ♫: Radiohead – "Codex" (Westworld, S02E10)
  • Westworld Season Grade: C
  • "DragonForce?"
    "It's a British heavy metal band."
    "Yeah, I know. I know who DragonForce is. Eat it. And, you know, sure, Tulip, she loves her kettle thrash." (Preacher, S03E01)
  • Oprah (The Handmaid's Tale, S02E11)
  • "You see his abs?"
    "Yeah, I mean, you only get abs like that if you do crack."
    "Yeah, 'cause you're always running, trying to get to crack."
    "Name me one fat crackhead."
    "Lou Dobbs."
    "Yep. No, that's the one."
    "Lou Dobbs is a fat crackhead." (Detroiters, S02E03)
  • "Are you doing a white-girl-trying-to-break-dance act for the match?"
    "No, we're doing a white-girl-does-break-dance act."
    "That's spot-on. White girls definitely talk like that." (GLOW, S02E02)

(GLOW, S02E03)

  • John Cameron Mitchell (GLOW, S02E04)
  • "Feminism has principles, life has compromises." (GLOW, S02E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Joe Pera Talks With You