Southern Hospitality, American Hostility

Rich Johnson is a charismatic, serial womanizer.

His name is Dick Dick.

After getting caught cheating and ruining another promising relationship, Rich desperately wishes his penis would just leave him alone. Lo and behold, Rich awakes the next morning to discover that his penis has left his body and taken human form as RP (Nick Thune) who moves into his apartment.

RP… Rich's Penis?

Yup. Rich's Penis.

Dick Dick's dick is Dick's Dick.

"SAG OR NON UNION CASTING NOTICE – Caucasian penis."

"Nick Thune, best known as Volchok's peen, died on Saturday night at his home in Los Angeles."

Reviews:

"There's a pretty great lesson hidden in this surprisingly cute little comedy about a guy and his penis not seeing eye to eye." – K.

"The characters are both outrageous and hysterical, everyone from the sassy waiter to the Yoda referencing cop." – Jorrdan Barroso

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


29. Conan and Dave Franco Join Tinder (Conan, 07-14-14)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • "I'd be quitting for Zach so he isn't driving around Queens in a green goddamn Prius." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Captain and Tennille on The Leftovers, Neil Diamond on The Strain (The Leftovers, S01E03, The Strain, S01E01)
  • Music: Molotov – "Gimme the Power" (The Strain, S01E01)
  • "Love, you see, is the one force that cannot be explained, cannot be broken down into a chemical process. It is the beacon that guides us back home when no one is there, and the light that illuminates our loss. Its absence robs us of all pleasure, of our capacity for joy. It makes our nights darker, and our days gloomier. But when we find love, no matter how wrong, how sad, or how terrible, we cling to it. It gives us our strength. It holds us upright. It feeds on us, and we feed on it. Love is our grace. Love is our downfall." (The Strain, S01E01)
  • Artemis! (Masters of Sex, S02E01)
  • Ygritte! (Utopia, S02E01)
  • "Should the time come, I'm to be your daughter's torturer." (Utopia, S02E01)
  • 24 Season Grade: B
  • Palpatine! (Utopia, S02E02)


(Matador, S01E01)

  • "Mention this gravestone for a 15% discount." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "Asian, black, Hispanic, old." (Nathan For You, S02E03)
  • "I like Call of Duty and pussy." (The Bridge, S02E02)


(Loiter Squad, S03E10)

  • Loiter Squad Season Grade: C+
  • "What's your dog called?"
    "Piano."
    "Right. Is it, um, really called 'Piano'?"
    "What do you think?"
    [pause] (Friday Night Dinner, S03E05)

#clipoftheweek


Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier?

// TAIPEI, TAIWAN


"Hey! No photographs!"


(Wufenpu)

Oops.

I'm not sure if she feared me stealing her "Freakish Pringles" design, or if she feared Pringles seeing a photograph of it on the Internet.



(Shilin Night Market)

I saw this shirt on display outside a store but alas, could not find one inside.



(Ximending)

I regret not stopping in to see what jeans for aggressive women look like.



(Shilin Night Market)

Extreme knock-off.



(Wufenpu)

#replace90salbumwithcorgi


On top of spaghetti

Go on…

The Nazis conduct experiments to bring extinct animals back to life, with the hopes of releasing the creatures into hunting parks for the Aryan people.

I hope it's better than Drug Kingpin Hippos, which was just an excuse for Animal Planet to produce a documentary on Pablo Escobar.

Oh. Hitler's Jurassic Zoo originally aired on American Heroes Channel.


B: Why are you in New York City?
Jon: Well…

Jon: You flew me out here to maybe co-sign an apartment lease?!

Jon: So I can't leave until Joe resolves his housing situation – until he decides to renew his current lease or passes/fails a credit check for a new apartment. The day after I arrived, however, he left for Texas and hasn't returned since. Oh and his family is visiting from July 23-31, during which time I can't crash at his place but likely can't return home either.

Joe: My friend in Washington, D.C. has a room…

You would not use "it's" in this case

I've been thinking a lot about friendships tailing off and, heh, how to adapt that into a television series.

The protagonist is a bloke in his late 30s or early 40s. In each episode, something happens in his life that reminds him of a friend he once had, and the bulk of every episode is a flashback story. It's friendship presented through a nostalgic prism.

Idea: A team must infiltrate the mind of a blind man to extract information, navigating a world created by someone without a visual frame of reference.

Blue ball go down the hole

RE: flopping in soccer

If being fouled leads to a direct free kick, why wouldn't you flop and try to draw fouls? Why wouldn't you try to set yourself up to score?

To reduce flopping in soccer, the penalty for a foul should be less enticing – a two-minute power play, perhaps.

Other ideas:

» No offside penalties in stoppage time.

» In elimination games, instead of a penalty shoot-out, teams continue playing 15-minute blocks of extra time until one team wins. For every block of extra time, however, each team must remove a player from play. So the first block of extra time is 9 vs. 9, the second, 8 vs. 8, et cetera.

» A yearly FIFA All-Star Game. Two player-captains draft teams from a pool of 44 players that the world votes in. Substitutions are unlimited so that every all-star gets to play.