Come snuggle with a thug

Now screening at Sundance:

Bushwick (2017)
On the way to Grandma's house with a new boyfriend in tow, Lucy (Brittany Snow) steps off the subway into an utter bloodbath on the streets of Brooklyn's Bushwick neighborhood. Texas is attempting to secede from the Union, and militia forces have descended upon New York City to claim it as an East Coast base of operations and negotiation tool. Faced with a flurry of whizzing bullets and total destruction around every corner, Lucy takes shelter in the basement of Stupe (Dave Bautista), a burly war veteran who reluctantly helps her traverse the treacherous five-block stretch of Bushwick to reach her destination—assuming it's still there.

Bolstered by an immersive score from Aesop Rock.

related: Crown Heights (2017), starring Nnamdi Asomugha – also now screening at Sundance

related: Brighton Beach (2017), starring FKA twigs



Synopsis: "Two 'foodie' brothers kidnap those who ruin their dining experience and kill them – each in their own unique 'food-related' manner."

According to IMDB, Kevin Nash plays himself in Slaw, and returns in Slaw 2, which is already in pre-production.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

4. In the beginning (The Young Pope, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Mickey trying to make Ben throw up by putting her fingers down his throat and jiggling (The Mick, S01E04)
  • La La Land Interrogation (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)
  • Dirty Talk (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)
  • Five Stars (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)

Stray Observations

  • "Who the hell are you?"
    "My name's Sherlock Holmes."
    "The detective."
    "The pirate." (Sherlock, S04E03)
  • Sherlock Season Grade: C-
  • Clown gag (The Mick, S01E04)
  • ♫ Labradford – "By Chris Johnston, Craig Markva, Jamie Evans," (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "I'll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero." (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • ♫ Melodium – "Kissing Disease" (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "The past is an enormous place with all sorts of things inside. Not so with the present. The present is merely a narrow opening with room for only one pair of eyes – mine." (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "Was it hard? To close off the Basilica to tourists?"
    "No, no. All we had to do was hang up a sign saying 'closed.'" (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • ♫ Andrew Bird – "Logan's Loop" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • ♫ Recondite – "Levo" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • ♫ Land Observations – "Nice to Turin" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "Time for your snack, Holy Father." (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "I have to have my snack now." (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "This isn't gonna be some back-alley sack waxing." (New Girl, S06E13)

(Fresh Off the Boat, S03E10)

  • Combo! (Taboo, S01E02)
  • RT: King George is basically just fat Mycroft from The Abominable Bride. (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "We are an angry nation."
    "Yeah. I'm counting on it." (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "You are their whore, the same as almost everyone else in this city, apart from those who are actually labeled a 'whore.'" (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "We will haunt this nigger to justice." (Taboo, S01E02)
  • Scroobius Pip (Taboo, S01E02)

(WWE NXT, 01-18-17)

  • "You're kind of a loose cannon."
    "A loose cannon downs more ships." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "He is your new grandma's flowers. Don't let him die." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "I asked for a Randy and he gave me a Brad." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • Gregory Hines photograph (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "That is the first time I've wanted to show you all five, not just the middle one." (Speechless, S01E13)
  • Dennis Quaid? (Workaholics, S07E02)

(Workaholics, S07E02)

  • That was Topher Grace? (Workaholics, S07E02)
  • The Methelda Show (Man Seeking Woman, S03E03)
  • "I've ruled the fart inadmissible as evidence." (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • Alice Murphy (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • "As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest—ohh. He's from Florida? Yeah. He belongs in the Bad Place." (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • "He who smelt it murdered Janet." (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • Pizza is the new frozen yogurt (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • The Good Place Season Grade: B

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


By the way, you do things to my body

Idea: The Price Is Right: Music Edition

Contestants' Row: The contestant whose rating is closest to the actual Pitchfork rating of an album without going over advances.

To win Plinko chips: One tour, four cities. Was the average resale ticket price for this tour's stop in this city higher or lower than the price listed?

Hole in One: Order six items from a musical artist's tour rider from least to most expensive.

Cliff Hangers: Three albums. How long is each album, in minutes, rounded up? For every minute you're off, the climber goes up one.

One Away: Five singles by one musical artist, five numbers that are one away from where each single peaked on the Billboard Hot 100.

Range Game: The range is the tracklist for an album. The range finder is three songs. We surveyed 1000 fans of this album. Stop the range finder where most people answered is this album's best three-song stretch.

The Showcase: Name the cost of one of two music videos.

Let's get gory, like a Tarantino movie


Deadline's interview with Cameron Crowe revealed that Crowe wrote [Jerry Maguire] for … Tom Hanks! Who knew??? That almost broke my brain. (Yes, Hanks turned it down.) Crowe also revealed that Connie Britton nearly ended up with the Renée Zellweger part and that Cuba Gooding Jr. beat out Jamie Foxx for Rod Tidwell. I continue to think that "Hollywood Movie Casting What-ifs" would be a riveting book.

As Hollywood seems to be remaking or rebooting everything, why not remake or reboot projects with actors who passed on the original or were beaten out?

Remake Jerry Maguire with Tom Hanks, Connie Britton, and Jamie Foxx.

Reboot The Sopranos with Ray Liotta as Tony Soprano.

Yes, a remake of White Men Can't Jump is wholly unnecessary, but what if it actualised a parallel universe? Eh?

According to White Men Can't Jump's IMDb trivia, Charlie Sheen was the first choice for the role of Billy Hoyle, and Fox wanted Denzel Washington for the role of Sidney Dean.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

3. What About Men? (Portlandia, S07E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "'Taking your own life.' Interesting expression. Taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Who's this one? Is this a new person? I'm against new people." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Stress can ruin every day of your life; dying can only ruin one." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "I'm that predictable?"
    "No. I'm just a cock." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Oh, the posh boy loves the dominatrix. He's never knowingly under-clichéd, is he?" (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Is there nights of passion in High Wycombe?" (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Just text her back."
    "Because High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "I'm so glad we finally found a use for your grandmother's dollhouse furniture collection "
    "Yeah, me too. I wish she was here to see it, but she's in Tampa, in her grave." (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • Terrell Owens – huh (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • "Here's my belly button's review of the movie Gone Girl." (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • "How am I supposed to learn about life when you won't let me watch The Good Wife?" (Bob's Burgers, S07E08)
  • "People who do not know me soon come to understand that I do not have any sense. Now please do not misunderstand the situation. You send me 12 men, I will return you 12 sets of testicles in a bag, and we can watch your little whores devour them together, before I chop off your trotters, and boil them." (Taboo, S01E01)
  • Jonathan Pryce's use of the F word (Taboo, S01E01)
  • Minnie Driver's discussing her colourful English family (Speechless, S01E12)
  • "What is dressage, after all, but…dancing for horses?" (Speechless, S01E12)
  • "The American white woman is as fickle as a Pinot noir." (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "White women aren't sisters. We hate each other." (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "Oh, I'm racist?! I'm a racist?!"
    "Please don't say it…"
    "I have black friends!" (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "AIDS! AIDS! I got AIDS! I got AIDS! We're coming through."
    "I'm his doctor. My patient's gotta get to the front of the line because he has AIDS."
    "I got the AIDS."
    "He got it from a gay guy in the '80s."
    "I'm not gay… I mean… There's two kinds of AIDS. There's the vagina AIDS, then the needle-based AIDS. I'm a vagina guy."
    "Well, no, actually my test results show that it was the gay AIDS."
    "All AIDS are bad! That's… No good AIDS! But I'm telling you, like I said, this is not the gay AIDS." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "What are you guys doing? You guys doing an AIDS thing?"
    "Oh, yeah. Yeah. I gave Frank a couple hickeys to sell the lesions."
    "Sucked on 'em."
    "Yeah, yeah. You doing a fake daughter thing?"
    "Cool." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "Your daughter is a special kid, a gifted child who should be treasured. If she were born in China, she'd… Wait, I already did that. Didn't work. If she were born in… What country treasures their women?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "There's AIDS blood in the pool!"
    "There's goddamn AIDS blood?!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "I'm-a need a little help shaving my butthole."
    "Absolutely not."
    "Shave my butthole, Ders."
    "No. If anything, I'm gonna shave my butthole, and I'm gonna eat chowder so that I can have an explosive O."
    "I have got a thick, thick mane down there, and my family will be embarrassed by my porno if I don't have a slick butthole. Please. You're a swimmer. I know you shave other men's buttholes often."
    "Fine. I'm only doing this because I'm good at it, okay? You trim my chowder, I'll shave your hole."
    "Right side's done. Go ahead and give it a feel. I put it at a two. I can take it down to a one. It's gonna be prickly, though." (Workaholics, S07E01)
  • "I wasn't a failed DJ; I was pre-successful." (The Good Place, S01E11)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


The People vs. D.J. Cohen

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Completing our triptych is Sum of Sixteen, Ben's 2016 master cleanse.

  1. Sum of Sixteen DJ Benny C

As it is a single track, here is a road map:

Miike Snow – "Genghis Khan"
AlunaGeorge – "Not Above Love"
The Knocks – "Kiss the Sky (feat. Wyclef Jean)"
Kanye West – "Fade"
The Weeknd – "Starboy (feat. Daft Punk)"
Luke Million – "Stranger Things Theme"
Galantis – "No Money (Joe Maz Remix)"
Joey Purp – "Girls @ (feat. Chance The Rapper)"
DJ Snake – "Middle (feat. Bipolar Sunshine)"
Capital Cities – "Vowels"
DJ Mustard – "Whole Lotta Lovin' (feat Travis Scott)"
Rihanna – "Love on the Brain (Gigamesh Remix)"
The 1975 – "The Sound"
Tinie Tempah – "Bounce"
Alicia Keys – "In Common (Kaskade Remix)"
Beyoncé – "Formation"
Years & Years – "Desire (feat. Tove Lo)"
Twenty One Pilots – "Ride"
Drake & Future – "Jumpman (Whiiite Remix)"
Chance the Rapper – "No Problem (feat. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz)"
Francis and the Lights – "Friends (feat. Bon Iver)"
D.R.A.M. – "Broccoli (feat. Lil Yachty)"
Kevin Gates – "2 Phones (Jayceeoh × Styles & Complete Remix)"
Future – "Xanny Family"
Kwesta – "Ngud' (feat. Cassper Nyovest)"
A Tribe Called Quest – "We the People…."
YG – "FDT (feat. Nipsey Hussle)"
Rihanna – "Work (feat. Drake) [Lost Kings Remix]"
Fetty Wap – "679 (feat. Monty) [Danny Diggz Remix]"
AlunaGeorge – "I'm in Control (feat. Popcaan)"
Charly Black – "Gyal You a Party Animal"
Yellow Claw – "Invitation (feat. Yade Lauren)"
ZHU – "Generationwhy"
Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam"
MAC MILLER – "Dang! (feat. Anderson .Paak)"
Marshmello – "Ritual (feat. Wrabel)"
Dillon Francis – "Anywhere (feat. Will Heard)"
Cashmere Cat – "Trust Nobody (feat. Selena Gomez & Tory Lanez)"
Chelsea Lankes – "Bullet"
Tove Lo – "Cool Girl (Denis First Remix)"
Calvin Harris – "This Is What You Came For (feat. Rihanna) [JM Castillo Remix]"
A-Trak – "Parallel Lines (feat. Phantogram)"
A$AP Ferg – "Strive (feat. Missy Elliott)"
Lil Uzi Vert – "You Was Right"
Rae Sremmurd – "Black Beatles (feat. Gucci Mane) [Aazar Remix]"
blink-182 – "Bored to Death"
G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance"

alternate download link

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Our favourite songs. One per year.

Time to update it.

Side A (curated by Jon)
1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem" [2000]
2. Finch – "What It Is to Burn (Demo)" [2001]
3. Spoon – "Stay Don't Go" [2002]
4. The Mars Volta – "Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt"
5. Ratatat – "Seventeen Years"
6. The Mountain Goats – "This Year"
7. DragonForce – "Through the Fire and Flames"
8. Frank Turner – "The Real Damage"
9. The Wonder Years – "You're Not Salinger. Get Over It."
10. So Many Dynamos – "New Bones"
11. Jamie Lidell – "Your Sweet Boom"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Jai Paul – "Jasmine (Demo)"
14. CHVRCHES – "The Mother We Share"
15. CFO$ – "Worlds Apart" [2014]
16. Oneohtrix Point Never – "No Good" [2015]
17. Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam" [2016]

Jon: What is left to say? "Ultralight Beam" is a majestic pop unicorn, teeming with soul, my most desired quality in music nowadays.

Side B (curated by Ben)
1. Outkast – "B.O.B." [2000]
2. Gob – "I Hear You Calling" [2001]
3. Justin Timberlake – "Cry Me a River" [2002]
4. The White Stripes – "Seven Nation Army"
5. Franz Ferdinand – "Take Me Out"
6. R. Kelly – "Trapped in the Closet"
7. TV on the Radio – "Wolf Like Me"
8. UGK – "Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You) [feat. Outkast]"
9. MGMT – "Time to Pretend"
10. Passion Pit – "The Reeling"
11. LCD Soundsystem – "Dance Yrself Clean"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Bruno Mars – "Locked Out of Heaven"
14. Daft Punk – "Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams)"
15. Duke Dumont – "I Got You (feat. Jax Jones)" [2014]
16. Major Lazer × DJ Snake – "Lean On (feat. MØ)" [2015]
17. G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance" [2016]


In late September, I stumbled upon G.L.O.S.S. (Girls Living Outside Society's Shit), a queer hardcore punk band from Olympia. The band has a number of LGBTQ members in it, including a trans woman lead singer. They have released a demo and an EP, Trans Day of Revenge.

The first time I heard "Give Violence a Chance," chills went down my spine. It activated the part of my lizard brain that made me like the Dead Kennedys. It is unapologetically violent, political, and angry, but also really fucking good music. G.L.O.S.S. broke up after TDoR, but I'm holding out hope that, with this radically different political environment, they'll find a way to make new music.

Awesome 2:16

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present My Super Sweet '16, a gallimaufry of audio things 2016.

My original album art idea for My Super Sweet '16 was a play on this still from Sixteen Candles:

with Hillary Clinton as Molly Ringwald and Bernie Sanders as Jake Ryan, possibly accompanied by a play on this still from Sixteen Candles:

with Donald Trump as Long Duk Dong – Long Duk Donald.

That idea led to an ambitious idea to mash up Stranger Things and John Hughes films:

And that idea led to what would become the album art for The Upside Sound, Adam Robot and White Jon's counterpoint to my 2016 mix:


No Apple Music playlist because Adam Robot "doesn't have iTunes."

alternate download link

The Vinyl Deletion

Previously on Adam Riff™:
The Top 10 Fight Scenes of 2016

And now, the talent portion of Adam Riff™'s 2016 retrospective festivities.

I am chuffed to present My Super Sweet '16, a gallimaufry of audio things 2016:

At 1:56:12, it is the longest mix I have ever produced.

I wanted to feature music of the youth – 21 Savage, D.R.A.M., Lil Uzi Vert, Lil Yachty, YG, Young Thug, Travis Scott, et al. – but then I listened to it and [ehhh] didn't love it.

  1. White Friends "Fresh Off the Boat"
  2. Come Down Anderson .Paak
  3. Never Be Like You (feat. Kai) Flume
  4. Carol Simples "Lady Dynamite"
  5. Sleep in the Heat PUP
  6. We (feat. CeeLo Green) MAC MILLER
  7. I Know All What I Do Jack Garratt
  8. Two Turnips in Heat "Trailer Park Boys"
  9. Another Time NxWorries
  10. Your Best American Girl Mitski
  11. Mia & Sebastian's Theme [from "La La Land"] Justin Hurwitz
  12. Jonah Ryan "Veep"
  13. Ultralight Beam Kanye West
  14. Settle the Scar The Hotelier
  15. Mercy Shawn Mendes
  16. Annihilation "Mr. Robot"
  17. A.H.B. S U R V I V E
  18. No Witnesses Keaton Henson
  19. Dapper (feat. Anderson .Paak) Domo Genesis
  20. Weight in Gold Gallant
  21. Things in My Jeep (feat. Nas) "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping"
  22. Lose It SWMRS
  23. Devil Is Fine Zeal and Ardor
  24. A Better Way [from "Swiss Army Man"] Andy Hull and Robert McDowell
  25. Nazi Punks, Fuck Off [from "Green Room"] The Ain't Rights
  26. CCH Pounder "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
  27. I Feel It Coming (feat. Daft Punk) The Weeknd
  28. 4r Da Squaw Isaiah Rashad
  29. Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales Car Seat Headrest
  30. Harrison Booth "Atlanta"
  31. Empty Kevin Abstract
  32. GLOWED UP (feat. Anderson .Paak) KAYTRANADA
  33. St. Paul's (Westerberg Comprehensive) Martha
  34. George Michael "Keanu"
  35. Angels (feat. Saba) Chance the Rapper
  36. Hard Style Diarrhea Planet
  37. Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant) Bo Burnham
  38. Yesterday Noname

No Spotify or Apple Music playlist because a fourth of this mix is unavailable elsewhere.

alternate download link