I'm sure we're taller in another dimension

Rory: Monster Trucks is about monsters that live inside trucks, not anthropomorphic monster trucks.
Jon: [pause]

Rory: Fuck, marry, kill:

Jon: Who would fuck or marry Trolls? And who would marry Monster Trucks? The only answer is: Fuck Monster Trucks, marry Storks, and kill Trolls.


I asked some mates which Fantastic Fest badge icon I should choose.

I thought most would answer "metal," but most answered "mad magician" or "satan." I was leaning toward "cannibal."

Drew: Who would ever choose "pedophilia"?
Jon: Have you not been on the internet before?


For Halloween, I'm debating between being 21 Savage or Zombie Prince (Michael Jackson's "Thriller" make-up + Prince's Purple Rain garb).


In September, [Donald Glover is] throwing a three-day festival in Joshua Tree called Pharos. [source]

Wonder who he booked.

PHAROS is a series of live shows on September 2nd, 3rd, and 4th in Joshua Tree, CA. Each full-length, live Childish Gambino show will be comprised of new music.

Oh, it's just him for three days — only performing new music?

Please note your specific show times: early shows at 9PM and late shows at 12AM.

Child-Phish Gambino.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


34. Knoxville man thought he dated Katy Perry for six years online (Catfish: The TV Show, S05E15)


Honourable Mention


Stray Observations

  • Well, Naz escalated quickly… (The Night Of, S01E06)
  • "Fuckin' Kuechly…" (Ballers, S02E05)
  • "Hey, listen, Rihanna…" (Ballers, S02E05)
  • "Is this what circles is supposed to be like? We sit around on beanbags and discuss the flavour of young boys' penises?" (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "I never go off into the goddamn woods. Everyone knows that about me." (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "Stop accusing me of fucking men in the woods." (Vice Principals, S01E05)
  • "Cunt sucker"? (Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E06)
  • Joey Bada$$ being badass (Mr. Robot, S02E06)


(The Eric Andre Show, S04E03)

  • "A good steak's like a prize fight – it ain't good unless it's bloody." (The Get Down, S01E02)
  • "Somebody taught you how to do that championship fucking." (The Get Down, S01E03)
  • "Nigga, this is Flash territory." (The Get Down, S01E04)
  • "Herbert Gunns wants to talk to me? What for?"
    "He said it's about cock."
    "Cock? What, what the fuck are you talking about?"
    "Cock! Ed Cock!"
    "Ed Koch?!"
    […]
    "He said he's the man behind cock."
    "KOCH!" (The Get Down, S01E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek

Boys Don't Cry

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present Backwash, a podcast by Adam Robot and I.


Episode 18 – SEASON FINALE:


iTunes link / Google Play Music link

1. Badassminton
2. Flossing / Paper Towels / King Size Candy Bars
3. Virtual Reality
4. Andrew Bynum / Trey Parker / Bobby Bonilla / Zack de la Rocha
5. X-Men, Ranked

We recorded this episode so long ago (June 5) that Adam Robot references Harambe earnestly. Alas, he edited it out.

#backwash

Jonathan Friend

Motherland is described as an epic military fantasy set in an alternate America where witches ended their persecution 300 years ago by cutting a deal with the U.S. government to fight for their country. [source]


"Jimmy Fallon's 'Lip Sync Battle' Gets Spike Series Order"
"'Carpool Karaoke' Series Coming Exclusively to Apple Music"
"TBS Orders James Corden 'Late Late Show' Bit 'Drop the Mic' to Series"

Series spin-offs of recurring late night talk show segments are the new film spin-offs for recurring Saturday Night Live characters.

I suppose America's Got Talent is Stupid Human Tricks, and Billy on the Street is Jaywalking.

Mean Tweets: The Series?


I thought "To Tell the Truth with food" was Food Network scraping the bottom of the barrel, and then I saw an ad for Food Network Star Kids.

How many kids versions of Food Network shows is that now?

Chopped Junior, Cupcake Wars Kids, Rachael vs. Guy: Kids Cook-Off, Kids Baking Championship, Kids BBQ Championship

The Food Network playbook:
• Rip off an existing show
• Themed episodes
• Tournaments
• Kids version

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week


33. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog stages a focus group with Trump's biggest supporters, presenting a series of increasingly outrageous and extremely fake campaign ads, to find out how far they're willing to go in support of their candidate. (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)


Honourable Mention

  • Muslim Dunk Tank (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)
  • Rapper Warrior Ninja (The Eric Andre Show, S04E02)

Stray Observations

  • Ellen (The Night Of, S01E05)
  • Duane Reade (The Night Of, S01E05)


(Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio, S01E05)

  • Alf (Mr. Robot, S02E05)
  • "Immigrants don't enter America nearly as often as Donald Trump enters immigrants." (Triumph, Summer Election Special 2016)
  • "If I fuck up my pants, I'm-a kill you twice." (The Get Down, S01E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Eric Andre Show

#clipoftheweek

Fish Delight

If no black people could be on the USA men's basketball team, would it medal?


My "below zero" film synopses starting five:

Live-Thog: Suicide Squad

Not feeling Marvel Studios' new logo.

I have Samuel L. Jackson fatigue.


Louisiana exists in the DC universe, but New York City does not.

Hotel Cortez.

Easy on the music cues, Ayer.

How much steak did Viola Davis have to spit out?

Free association: Driving down Yonge Street = Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.

Yonge Street geography is wonky. Joker drives past the Hard Rock Cafe twice.

Is that Kyle Bornheimer?

Who is this playing the casino boss? Is he a rapper?

Joel Kinnaman eating a drumstick in the dark.

Waller knew that June released Enchantress by opening an idol, yet kept a similar idol on a shelf in her home, unguarded.

Will Smith's dialogue makes you appreciate George Lucas' writing.

"Without Me"! To Meyers Leonard's delight.

Title drop!

Yonge-Dundas is both Gotham City and Midway City.

The Native American dies first – twist!

I'm confused. Waller sent them on a mission to rescue her?! Never mind the SWIRLING SKY PORTAL nearby…

Aaaand rain arrives, because of course.

"Not me, shorty."

Killer Croc is Will Smith's dialogue incarnate.

A suicide squad of shitty Marvel film villains: Ultron, Ronan, Electro, Malekith, Whiplash…

Killer Croc wants BET.

Killer Croc watching BET Uncut.

Jared Leto was second-billed for seven minutes of screen time.

That was Adebisi as Killer Croc?

Not Kyle Bornheimer — Hopper on Stranger Things.

Each Twenty One Pilots single is more irritating than the last.

Random stars.

A Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead-type film that follows Joker during the events of Suicide Squad.