Minor Crashes, No Injuries

"Lift with your legs, not your back."
"You don't think I'm trying to do that? My body just keeps defaulting to my back."

In less than a year, I have moved someone else from New York City to San Francisco, and then from San Francisco to Los Angeles, packing and unpacking all of his stuff by myself.

San Francisco was Murphy's Law run amok.

San Francisco Public Works was improving the street in front of my client's building, so a moving truck could not park in front of the building from 7:00 AM to 6:00 PM on weekdays, and the many movers I called did not work nights. (Moving truck and movers sold separately.)

I secured a permit from the city to park the trailer containing my client's stuff in front of his building on a Friday night, and scheduled movers to move his stuff in on Saturday morning. To prevent stealing overnight, I found a lock that fit the trailer, and someone local to receive the lock and lock the container upon drop-off, as I could not be present. (I could not visit my client's new home until move-in day, and thus could not scout the building/area.)

On Friday night, the driver delivering the trailer informed me that he could not drop it off because the street in front of my client's building is too narrow – the trailer would block traffic.

New plan: With the help of two TaskRabbits, I rent a U-Haul, drive to a freight terminal in Oakland, transfer all of my client's stuff from the trailer in which it sits to the U-Haul, drive to his building in San Francisco, and move his stuff in.

As I arrived at the freight terminal, the TaskRabbits I hired informed me that their car broke down in Sausalito and that they regretfully could not help me.

New plan: I transfer all of my client's stuff from the trailer in which it sits to the U-Haul by myself, and cobble together moving help in San Francisco.

The freight terminal would not release my client's stuff to me. My client had to sign for access in person.

I waited two hours for my client to drive up from Palo Alto. Together, in the dark, we transferred his stuff from the trailer in which it sat to the U-Haul.

My client's building was a walk-up. Six flights of stairs.

The San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency ticketed the U-Haul for obstructing early morning street cleaning.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

27. Jack vs. Hannibal 2 (Hannibal, S03E05)

Stray Observations

Rick Springfield (True Detective, S02E02)

  • Ned Stark'd? (True Detective, S02E02)
  • "Nintendo. It's a bunch of little men fighting turtles or something." (Halt and Catch Fire, S02E05)
  • "True evil is, above all things, seductive." (Penny Dreadful, S02E09)
  • "I thought about putting Pandora and her wicked box in the exhibit, but in the end, I didn't. I mean, how could you show what the box contained?"
    "I could tell you – a mirror." (Penny Dreadful, S02E09)
  • "In this house, I have found kindness among the unkind." (Penny Dreadful, S02E09)

Charlie's birthday cake (MasterChef, S06E08)

  • "He likes music, he likes wine, he likes food, and he likes you. How did you taste, Dr. Bloom? Sweet, I bet. I'm sure you got a taste of him too. Spitters are quitters, and you don't strike me as a quitter." (Hannibal, S03E05)
  • "Bowels in or bowels out?" (Hannibal, S03E05)


No Closer to Heaven

Comic-Con 2015 Thursday Programs:

Miami Vice 30th Anniversary Retrospective
Talent from the original smash hit NBC primetime series including Michael Talbott (Det. Stanley Switek), Olivia Brown (Det. Switek), Edward James Olmos (Lt. Castillo), writer Anthony Yerkovich (creator of Miami Vice), writer Jonathan London (Miami Vice graphic novel) will join Lion Forge Comics senior editor Shannon Eric Denton to discuss the enduring legacy of the show that spawned decades of neo-noir cop shows to follow, and the music, the colors, the alligators, and the action that made it such a hit.

I know Don Johnson is in an ABC programme premiering this fall, but what is Philip Michael Thomas doing that he can't participate?

I hate when black people call me "sir." It's discomforting. I don't ever want to be a "sir" – especially to a black person.

NBC is weak

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Okay, 1. It's 2014. Why are you still handing out CDs? Just share your music on the Internet!, and 2. How can you expect me to give you money for a CD that I didn't ask for?

After declining to give him money, what if I hadn't relinquished the CD-R that he handed me? What if I just ran off with it? Would he chase me down?

SF Pride

After running into a barricade of CD peddlers in San Francisco, I thought: Instead, why don't they figure out how to give away their music à la U2's last album? Somehow force their music onto the phones of passersby.

After passing a homeless man distributing a homeless newspaper in San Francisco, I thought: A homeless tabloid. Homeless TMZ. Homeless BuzzFeed. 22 Things Only Homeless People Will Understand.

And while chilling on a balcony in San Francisco, I thought of chases across rooftops, which led to… Idea: A fake adjoining rooftops course – like a rock climbing wall, but for running/parkour.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

26. Witness (True Detective, S02E01)

Stray Observations

(True Detective, S02E01)

  • "Aspen. That's a boy's name?" (True Detective, S02E01)
  • "You're supposed to savour that."
    "Yeah? Let me try it again." (True Detective, S02E01)
  • "We were created to rule, my love, and the blood of mankind will water our garden, us, and our kin, and our children, and our generations. We are the conquerors. We are the pure blood. We are steel and sinew both. We are the next thousand years. We are the dead." (Penny Dreadful, S02E08)
  • "Fuck the Trojans" (Ballers, S01E01)
  • Don Shula: "You are an asshole." (Ballers, S01E01)
  • Mixing Belgian waffle batter in a saxophone (Cutthroat Kitchen, S08E06)
  • "It feels like all our heroes are counterfeit" – Lance Armstrong, Bill Cosby, Tom Brady (Mr. Robot, S01E01)
  • "You like music. I like music. Maroon 5?" (Mr. Robot, S01E01)
  • "Even though he's the head technology guy at one of the biggest companies in the world, he owns a BlackBerry." (Mr. Robot, S01E01)
  • "Nobody beats the Riz." (Hannibal, S03E04)
  • "I'm all ears. They've just been…redistributed." (Hannibal, S03E04)


Looking forward:

I'll find strength in pain

When life gives you Don Lemon…

Why is MSNBC still Microsoft NBC? Why hasn't it re-branded as NBC News Network?

Rory: NBCNN can be confused for a partnership with CNN.
Jon: Then Comcast NewsNet. No, that's also CNN. ProNewsTalk?
Rory: NBC News Channel – NBCNC.

Daddy, would you like some sausage?

They see gay cruise; I see women's college.

If gay cruise… Food Network Show Idea:

If women's college… There are gay men who are uncomfortable learning how to butcher and cook meat around straight people?

You know nothing, Jon Yu

Of all the places to build a castle, Sleeping Beauty built hers across a river.

Without the tunnel, her castle is a dam.

Inside Sleeping Beauty Castle

You ever wonder why the castles in Super Mario World contain so much chain-link fencing?

I'm overseeing Pepe's move to Los Angeles this weekend.

Pepe: Who did Kim Kardashian have sex with, in her sex tape?
Jon: Uhh… Ray J.
Pepe: I think he lives on my floor.

Never Stop Laughing

[sees poster for Max]

Is that the same typeface as Mad Max?

Oh. They're both Warner Bros. releases.

Two Warner Bros. films with "Max" in the title, one month apart.

[sees trailer for Max]


Both Fox releases.

Sony's film adaptation of Uncharted is scheduled for release on the same day as Universal's film adaptation of Warcraft.

June 10, 2016 = Hollywood Thunderdome.

Oh. Sony is also releasing a film adaptation of Angry Birds next May. And Fox has a film adaptation of Assassin's Creed for Christmas.