Previously on Adam Riff™ (Nov 2013):
Jon: I noticed the brake warning light, checked that the parking brake lever was pulled all the way up, and then brake pedal sensitivity plummeted. I can't stop your car at will, only slow it.
E: The parking brake lever was up?
Jon: Yes. All the way up.
E: Jon, the lever is supposed to be down.
Jon: Pushing a lever down to release a brake is unintuitive. So you press down to apply and release brakes on your car?
Jon: You pull a ship's anchor up. You flip a bicycle's kickstand up.
// Billings, MT
I found this note taped to the driver side window of my rental car:
I somehow left my car in "R" the night before and housekeeping found it in the middle of the parking lot with its lights on. How its windshield wipers activated, I don't know.
Fortunately, the car didn't hit anything and, after checking security footage, the hotel didn't have it towed.
Is the air conditioning broken?
The "fan" dial is set to "4"…
"103.7 The Hawk: The Classic Rock Station!"
♫ "In the Air Tonight" ♫
"Passenger Air Bag: Off." You can disable an airbag?
Oh. The button with a snowflake on it activates air conditioning. I thought it activated defrosting.
I don't associate a snowflake with air conditioning.
I call AAA to jump my rental car's battery.
A bloke resembling Baked Alaska shows up.
"Can you pop the hood?"
"My key fob doesn't work because the car battery died so I can't ope—"
He grabs the fob from me, pushes the button on its side, pulls out a physical key, opens the driver side door, and pops the hood.
Oh. That's what that button does.
I didn't successfully navigate any of the traffic circles I encountered.