Pants DJ

Jon: "WrestleMania 20 (feat. Anderson .Paak)"
Jon: What is this?
Rory: Westside Gunn's new album Chris Benoit
Jon: [pause]

Rory: The cover:

Wikipedia » Westside Gunn » Mixtapes:

Hitler Wears Hermes (2012)
Hitler Wears Hermes II (2014)
Hitler Wears Hermes III (2015)
Hitler Wears Hermes IV (2016)
Hitler On Steroids (2017)
Hitler Wears Hermes V (2017)

That is a normal collar

Previously on Adam Riff™: Proposed NBA Playoffs Improvements

The two teams in the NBA Finals get to add one player from each team their opponent vanquished on its road to the Finals.

So, for example: The Cavaliers add Karl-Anthony Towns, Donovan Mitchell, and Steph Curry to its bench for an NBA Finals against the Rockets.

If you're tired of Cavaliers vs. Warriors, perhaps I can interest you in

Cavaliers (+ James Harden + Anthony Davis + LaMarcus Aldridge)
vs. Warriors (+ Victor Oladipo + DeMar DeRozan + Jayson Tatum).

Warriors -1000 (Cavs +650) becomes, oh, Warriors -190 (Cavs +300).

Quick break to talk about ZipRecruiter

Wikipedia » Kyle Korver » Personal life:

Kyle has three brothers, Klayton, Kaleb and Kirk.

Korver's father, Kevin
Korver's uncle, Kris
His cousin Kari
Daughter, Kyra
first boy, Knox
second son, Koen

I assume none of their middle initials are K.

The Duggars are all Js.
The Korvers are all Ks.
The Balls are all Ls.

M… M…

Rory: The Holyfields are all Es.

Wikipedia » Lance Stephenson » Personal life:

Lance is the son of Lance Sr. He has a younger brother named Lantz.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

21. The Perfect Egg Bite (Joe Pera Talks With You, S01E02)

Honourable Mention

  • The Allegory of the Cave (Legion, S02E08)

Stray Observations

  • "'Sup? I'm Mathy Kathy from the mean streets of Fraction Town. Sure, math is tough, but so am I. Listen, kid, sometimes on the streets, stuff doesn't add up. Things can get negative." (Bob's Burgers, S08E20)
  • ♫: "Burobu Theme" (Bob's Burgers, S08E20)
  • "I would marry you on the G train in the summertime when the air conditioning is broken."
    "Damn, really?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E22)
  • "Huh. I have a wife! I finally know how Borat feels." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E22)
  • Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season Grade: C
  • "Can't you say something to them?"
    "I'm from Hong Kong, asshole." (Westworld, S02E05)
  • Sodegarami (Westworld, S02E05)
  • ♫: Wu-Tang Clan – "C.R.E.A.M." (Westworld, S02E05)
  • ♫: "I Do" (Bob's Burgers, S08E21)
  • Bob's Burgers Season Grade: D
  • Rob Brydon as Richard Nixon (Trust, S01E09)
  • "Are you alive?"
    "I exist in their machine, preserved. Is that alive?" (Legion, S02E08)
  • "Gustavo, you are ruining my cold cut tray." (The Last O.G., S01E08)
  • "You're a whore. Does dad know he married a whore?" (The Americans, S06E09)
  • ♫: APM Music – "New Orleans Funeral" (Brockmire, S02E05)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry


Violent Animals of MS-13

They changed the synopsis!


Idea: A remake of Cool Hand Luke in which Luke is an undocumented DREAMer who refuses to be broken by sadistic guards in a detention facility.

And now, a brief history of Mark Romanek not following through:

2003: Mark Romanek to Direct A Cold Case
2005: Mark Romanek to Direct A Million Little Pieces
2007: Mark Romanek to Direct The Wolfman
2010: Mark Romanek to Direct A Parking Ticket
2011: Mark Romanek to Direct Live-Action Cinderella
2011: Mark Romanek to Direct The Da Vinci Code Sequel
2014: Mark Romanek to Direct Boston Strangler
2014: Mark Romanek to Direct The Shining Prequel
2015: Mark Romanek to Direct Blackbird
2015: Mark Romanek to Direct Norco
2016: Mark Romanek to Direct Septillion to One

Sex gifs

Idea: A wrestling battle royal that's won by earning the most points.

3 points for everyone you eliminate over the top rope, 2 points for everyone you eliminate over the middle rope, 1 point for everyone you eliminate over the bottom rope.

You can be eliminated from the battle royal and still win it.

Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes are the last two standing. Reigns needs 3 points to beat Brock Lesnar's total, but Cody only needs 1.

Idea: A wrestling match in which a title hangs above the ring, and the longer you pin down or hold an opponent in a submission, the lower the title descends for you to grab. Once said opponent kicks out or breaks your hold, the title retracts up.

Eater's Digest: Billings, MT 2

Previously on Adam Riff™ (Aug 2015):


Flying Saucer (King's Hat Drive-In)
King's Hat is a fast food drive-through known for its sealed burgers.

April 2018
king's hat drive-in / wilcoxson's ice cream / camelot ranch / the burger dive / topz sandwich company / caramel cookie waffles / pie guys pizzeria / lilac / walkers

Aaaaaat laaaaaaaaaast…

Flying Burger (King's Hat Drive-In)

^ Reminded me of an elementary school hot lunch McDonald's hamburger.

Fries (King's Hat Drive-In)
—How are these fresh-cut fries so much better than In-N-Out's?

Huckleberry Ice Cream Sandwich (Wilcoxson's Ice Cream)

Adam Robot's Wedding Cake (Oceanias Confections)
chocolate, lemon, raspberry
—Damn good cake.

The "Best of the Bash" Burger (The Burger Dive)
blackened seasoning, smooth goat cheese, bacon, onion ring, arugula, sriracha sauce, garlic basil mayonnaise

It took "the best of the bash" at the prestigious Food Network South Beach Wine and Food Festival Burger Bash.

^ Best at failing its murderer's row of components.

"San Fran Fries" Garlic Fries (The Burger Dive)
shredded parmesan cheese, garlic, fresh parsley, olive oil
—You, sir, are no San Fran garlic fries.

Is this, like, a Mexican cheesesteak?

Beef Queso Sandwich (TopZ Sandwich Company)
hot roast beef topped with jalapeños and our white cheddar queso, toasted

^ The queso was bland, and its blandness overwhelmed everything else.

(TopZ)'s "unique" house chips are store-bought tortilla rounds dusted in garlic powder?

They, too, were bland.

Oh, a play on a Reuben.

Pastrami-Smoked Pork Belly (Lilac)
beer-glazed brussels sprouts, rye gruyère crumble, gochujang russian dressing

^ Disappointingly more of a Brussels sprouts dish with bits of pork belly.

Tuna Tartare (Lilac)
chili vinaigrette, shaved foie gras, pickled cucumber

^ Perplexing. Seemingly unseasoned raw tuna covered in shaved liver with pickled cucumber on the side?

Pretzels and Popcorn (Lilac)
salted soft pretzels, caramel sauce, aged white cheddar, popcorn ice cream

^ Popcorn-flavoured ice cream covered in shaved cheese with soft pretzels on the side, on the other hand, is [Italian chef kiss].

Bourbon Street Pasta (Walkers)
linguine pasta, sweet peppers, tomatoes, andouille sausage, roasted chicken, shrimp
—I did not expect this to be light. A Cajun pasta with no cream sauce?

<img missing>
Black Forest Cheesecake (Walkers)
chocolate cheesecake, flathead cherry gel, white chocolate crémeux, chocolate soil
–I did not expect this to be deconstructed. Wyd, (Walkers) chefs?

Pear Mule (Walkers)
pear absolut, crushed basil, lime, ginger beer


The "I'm Your Huckleberry" Burger (The Burger Dive)
world food championships "burger champion" burger, huckleberry hatch chili barbecue sauce, bacon, goat cheese, arugula, roasted red pepper mayo

The "Date with Jim Beam and Coke" Burger (The Burger Dive)
world food championships "burger champion" burger, bourbon date and coke barbecue sauce, roasted garlic, arugula, smoked gouda, garlic basil mayo


Karate Artery

Jon: guh
Jon: i prefer the brighter blue frames, but worry that i'll look like graham elliot

Drew: do they come in clear?
Jon: yes, but one of my co-workers wears clear glasses
Jon: i don't want to seem like i'm single white female-ing him

Drew: there are no brick and mortar places near you that carry them?
Jon: maybe the darker blue frames…

Jon: i can't return prescription glasses that i order online, but i could order both frames without lenses, return one, and lens the frames i kept at, like, costco

Jon: $166 for both frames
Jon: 10% restocking fee
Jon: $25 for costco to lens an outside frame
Jon: single vision lenses starting at $60
Drew: it might be cheaper to buy both frames with lenses and keep them both

Drew: michelle suggests that an army green color would go well with your skin tone and coloring
Drew: not sure if that is racist or not

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

20. Ear (Trust, S01E08)

Stray Observations

  • "When Hairy Met Smoothie: Smoothies and Hair Removal." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • "She was going through something. I'm not allowed to say what, but it rhymes with 'botched shmemorrhoid surgery.'" (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • "Describe him."
    "Good-looking, but not too good-looking, like the Planters Peanut." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • Mr. Robot (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • "She's heading towards downtown."
    "Where the young professionals are. They love smoothies and hair removal." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • "That is not easy to look at."
    "It's like something you dance around at Burning Man." (Bob's Burgers, S08E18)
  • "Was it an Asian woman with amazing hair?" (Killing Eve, S01E06)
  • "You live only as long as the last person who remembers you." (Westworld, S02E04)
  • "They said there were two fathers – one above, one below. They lied. There was only ever the devil, and when you look up from the bottom, it was just his reflection laughing back down at you." (Westworld, S02E04)
  • "I am so full of crudité!" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
  • "I can't believe my last meal was crudité!" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
  • ♫: "Mommies Are the Best" (Bob's Burgers, S08E19)
  • Did he kill an actual lamb? (Trust, S01E08)
  • "I don't want to talk to Gilfoyle. He's a racist and a witch."
    "I'm not a witch." (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
  • "How would you like to die today, motherfucker?" (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
  • "I'll host the fucking brunches!" (Silicon Valley, S05E08)
  • Silicon Valley Season Grade: D
  • "Cut him up into manageable pieces. No one likes lugging around 50 kilos of torso." (Barry, S01E08)
  • "So I burned a CD for this very moment. Apocalypse Now, motherfucker."
    [plays CD]
    "What the fuck is this?"
    "That's 'Flight of the Bumblebee.'" (Barry, S01E08)
  • "So essentially with these men trying to pit two crime organizations against each other, thus reaping the benefits of their demise, much like the Kurosawa movie Yojimbo. I'll open it up to some questions."
    "Michael Leslie, KNX News Radio. Can you spell Yojimbo, please?"
    "…such films as Rashoman, famous for…"
    "…K-U-R-O-S-A-W-A. Anything else?"
    "Yes. Was Yojimbo his only film?" (Barry, S01E08)
  • Barry Season Grade: A
  • Black-ish Season Grade: C
  • "Really, just take a small toke. It's not that strong. It's so weak, they call it 'Gun Control in America.'" (New Girl, S07E07)
  • "Or I strap on a spare patch, and Nick marries a sexy fly." (New Girl, S07E07)
  • "Merle said he's not publishing Chicago Hobo, and then a bird pooed on me.
    "What do you mean he won't publish it?"
    "Where's the bird? I'll poo on him." (New Girl, S07E07)
  • Robert Smigel (New Girl, S07E07)
  • "You wouldn't believe how good I am at fitting multiple things into small spaces. I'm a bento box boy!" (New Girl, S07E08)
  • "I tore my anus." (New Girl, S07E08)
  • "I got to say, I really like foot lotion."
    "Thank you."
    "They should make more foot lotion for your hand – foot lotion hand." (New Girl, S07E08)
  • New Girl Season Grade: D
  • "Ask yourself: What's more terrifying: Fear, or the frightened?" (Legion, S02E07)
  • "I've never even heard of it."
    "That's because it's on some designer drug shipment. Brooklyn-exclusive, man, but it's about to be popping everywhere soon."
    "I saw this on Vice. It's real." (The Last O.G., S01E07)
  • "You promised me a brothel, Hiram." (Riverdale, S02E22)
  • Riverdale Season Grade: D
  • Roy Rogers (The Americans, S06E08)
  • "I got something for you."
    [it's food] (The Americans, S06E08)
  • "I'm just glad my sons have my husband's name."
    "Isn't Norm's last name 'Glasscock'?"
    "Yeah… My grandson Harry has a scar where a bully threw a glass dildo at his head. Do you know how hard it is to find a glass dildo in the Ozarks?" (Brockmire, S02E04)
  • "Harlot want a cracker?" (Brockmire, S02E04)
  • ♫: System of a Down – "Chop Suey!" (Saturday Night Live, S43E21)
  • Saturday Night Live Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry


God Friended Me

Oh, that's Donnie Yen in a fat suit playing Sammo Hung's character in the original?

A legendary Yahoo! Answer becomes a major motion picture! [source]

The Selfie From Hell movie might be good – although given that its IMDb page contains the lines "Julia, an online vlogger from Germany" and "She … finds herself immersed deep in the web – too deep" let's not get our hopes up.

Smiley [2012]
If someone on Chatroulette types "I did it for the lulz" three times in a row, they're visited by a murderer with a smiley emoji for a face, who then stabs them to death. Guess what? The murderer is Anonymous.

How did I miss this film?

My owner, the hero.

Cus Crise

Billing Ken Griffey Jr. above Barry Bonds for an event in Napa Valley?

Dan the Automator should reconcile with Prince Paul beforehand and bring him out to perform "Metaphysical" with Mike D while Aarón Sánchez makes bionicos.

Oh, Automator and Paul have reconciled.

Wikipedia » Handsome Boy Modeling School:

As of February 2018, the two reportedly have reunited, and plan to release a new album.


I wonder what MC Paul Barman is up to.

Oh, shit, he's dropping an album on June 22!

?uestlove produced six tracks, Mark Ronson one.

June 2018: New Kanye West, Drake, Travis Scott, Nicki Minaj, Nas, Kid Cudi, and MC Paul Barman.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

19. Speedballing (Patrick Melrose, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Barry and Chris in the car (Barry, S01E07)
  • David watches a mouse sing Bryan Ferry's "Slave to Love" (Legion, S02E06)
  • Marilyn's post-mortem fate (The Americans, S06E07)

Stray Observations

  • "That's impossible!"
    "You know I hate the word 'impossible' unless it's immediately followed by the words 'ghost' and 'protocol.'" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
  • Speed Racer (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
  • "I don't get the internet with my Netscape Blip." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
  • "Oh, my God, they're in a penis punch 69!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E20)
  • ♫: Sitar-driven "Seven Nation Army" (Westworld, S02E03)
  • The Last Man on Earth Season Grade: C
  • "Richard, adversity is a great teacher, just like cigarette burns." (Silicon Valley, S05E07)
  • "Paul, let me show you something. Do you know what a hammer is?"
    "And do you know what a nail is?"
    "Well, that, young man, is all you need to know about crucifixion." (Trust, S01E07)
  • "Do you want to know what happened to this poor fellow here? It was perfectly unpleasant." (Trust, S01E07)
  • Subtitles crumbling and collapsing (Trust, S01E07)
  • Rob Delaney (Trust, S01E07)
  • "Recently, our dear friend Ryan Madison was taken away from us too soon. Because of this, all of the proceeds from tonight's show will go towards the fight against violence." (Barry, S01E07)
  • "Alapse, poor pbpbpb. Fuck. Forgot my line." (Barry, S01E07)
  • "So anyway, I'm on the back of a Jet Ski with Cornel West, and he tells me, 'Hey, you're leaning too far to the left.' I said, 'No, you leaning too far to the left."
    "Oh! I see what you did. I see it."
    "Y'all talking about Cornel West?" (New Girl, S07E05)
  • ♫: Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo – "I'd Love to Change the World" (Legion, S02E06)
  • A Clockwork Orange (Legion, S02E06)
  • "In the ancient days, mankind built a tower so high that it threatened to touch Heaven, and God cursed us with foreign language, misunderstanding, and the inability to communicate. But I know what's in the heart of every man, woman and child on this Earth. Gone is the confusion, the division. I am the great uniter." (Legion, S02E06)

(Legion, S02E06)

  • ♫: Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo – "Superman" (Legion, S02E06)
  • Arrow Cheryl (Riverdale, S02E21)
  • "Untie her, you Serpent hag." (Riverdale, S02E21)
  • ♫: grandson – "Blood // Water" (Riverdale, S02E21)
  • "You're a brown Joe Buck."
    "Ha ha ha. No. Joe Buck is a white me." (Brockmire, S02E03)
  • "I also represent some actors. I have four clients on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta right now." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Is that beer?"
    "[pause] Nah…" (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "I know you sell weed, so you don't care about time."
    "True." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "This school is awful!" (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "When you piss, do you go straight through the zipper or do you go over the boxers?"
    "Over the boxers."
    "Yeah, me too. But is that the right way, though?"
    "I don't think so." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Mr. X?" (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Do you think there's a black lawyer who's as good as your cousin?"
    "There definitely is, but, um, part of being good at your job are your connections, and black people just don't have the connections that my cousin has – for systemic reasons." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Y'all take RushCards?" (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "I see you, man. I see you learning. But learning requires failure. Al just trying to make sure you ain't failing in…in his life. You know, like, y'all both black, so, I mean, y'all both can't afford to fail."
    "Do Nigerians get a chance to fail?"
    "Hey, don't you start that. You know Nigerians don't fail." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • RT: Darius subtly wearing a gold grill to get his passport photo (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Niggas do not care about us, man. Niggas gonna do whatever they gotta do to survive 'cause they ain't got no choice. We ain't got no choice either. You my family, Earn. Yeah, you…you're the only one that knows what I'm about. You give a fuck. I need that." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • ♫: Nina Simone – "I Shall Be Released" (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • "Listen, man, I got Chinese food with a side of chocolate." (Atlanta, S02E11)
  • Atlanta Season Grade: A

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry


Play the Goddamned Part

// Billings, MT

Unfortunate name.

Oh, he named his son Harry?

I wouldn't classify boba and rolled ice cream as "such" to burgers.

If Manchu Wok is Panda Express adjace, then what is Flaming Wok?

Rory: Taco Time?

At some locations, Pizza Hut is literally Taco Bell adjace.

One of these things is not like the others…

I also saw a few "casino and liquor store"s, which… Part of the appeal of a casino is free drinks.

Combination Pizza Hut and casino – Pizza Hut and Such.

"Steak Outfitters."

"Baseball Comic."

Proposed NBA Playoffs Improvements

Previously on Adam Riff™:

1. The winning team of a series gets to add one member of the losing team to its bench.

So, for example:

The Rockets beat the Timberwolves in the first round and add Karl-Anthony Towns to its bench for the second round.

The Rockets beat the Jazz in the second round and Donovan Mitchell joins Towns on its bench for the Western Conference Finals.

The Rockets beat the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals and enter the NBA Finals with Towns, Mitchell, and Steph Curry on its bench.

Never worry about NBA Finals ratings again. You guarantee yourself star power in the NBA Finals.

2. The three players who were added to the NBA champion's bench do not receive rings.

It's like how chefs who were eliminated on Top Chef return to assist the finalists for the final challenge.

3. To add some strategy, the team with the best regular season record in each conference gets to seed its bracket 2 through 8.

Giving yourself an easier path to the NBA Finals means strengthening your opponent in the Conference Finals.

4. To be somewhat fair, the teams with the four best regular season records in each conference maintain home court advantage in the first round, regardless of how they are seeded.

Steven: Wouldn't work. Why would a superstar help out an opposing team if he doesn't get a ring
Steven: Maybe it would work if they went to opposing conference
Steven: If I'm Donovan Mitchell I don't wanna help out Houston but I'll gladly help an eastern team to beat Houston
Jon: Hmm…

1. The two teams in the NBA Finals get to add one player from each team their opponent vanquished on its road to the Finals.

So, for example: The Cavaliers add Karl-Anthony Towns, Donovan Mitchell, and Steph Curry to its bench for an NBA Finals against the Rockets.

2. The six added players are ineligible for rings, but all receive $50,000 (furnished by the league) for every minute played in the NBA Finals.

3. In each round of the playoffs, every team can exercise one power play – two minutes in which every point it scores is doubled.

Teams can exercise their power play at any time.

4. The NBA All-Star Game MVP receives immunity from fouling out throughout the playoffs.

He can foul unlimited times. Suspensions and ejections for technical and flagrant fouls still apply, however.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

18. A Kanye Place (Saturday Night Live, S43E19)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Evil sees me as one of them."
    "So, you're like Kane."
    "That's what I was thinking."
    "Kane. WWE. He's a wrestler. Half good, half bad. Come on, Brandy, keep up." (Ash vs. Evil Dead, S03E10)
  • Ash vs. Evil Dead Season Grade: C
  • "Why are you guys dressed like that? You look like you're on Empire."
    "That's what we were going for. Drip drop…" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • "Why don't we take this map and this sextant and chart a course to the restaurant?"
    "Title of your sex-tant tape."
    "Ah, did not work at all, but I love that you attempted it. Title of your sex-tant tape." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • "We've been at this bachelor party for over an hour, wandering around aimlessly, and we haven't done one bachelor party thing!"
    "Well, Terry, if you'd like, I could share a lewd story. Kevin got me quite horny this morning." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • "I don't want fanny granola! I want steaks and whiskey!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • "All we have to do is decipher this list of thousands of random numbers."
    "Huh, I wonder if one of them is 6-9?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • "Nothing…" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • ♫: Vitamin C – "Graduation" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E19)
  • ♫: Piano "Runaway" (Westworld, S02E02)
  • "We have toiled in God's service long enough, so I killed him." (Westworld, S02E02)
  • "You know who loves staring at their own reflection? Everybody." (Westworld, S02E0s)
  • "Richard, you have an enormous heart, and I don't mean in the same way my deceased friend Gloria did, which the doctors should have really caught because her knuckles were gargantuan." (Silicon Valley, S05E06)
  • "Richard, it is important to develop emotional self-discipline for situations like this. Sometimes you have to numb yourself. If you wanna work the corner, you can't fall in love every time you turn a trick. That's why you do the oxy." (Silicon Valley, S05E06)
  • ♫: Piano "Where Is My Mind?" (Black-ish, S04E21)
  • ♫: Two Coldplay ballads (Black-ish, S04E21)
  • LA to Vegas Season Grade: C
  • "Coach, are you mad 'cause he still thinks that the movie should be called Paul Blop: Mall Cop?"
    "It should be. It's so close to rhyming perfectly. They gave up."
    "'Blart' is an actual last name. 'Blop' is a sound effect."
    "I need to get out of this situation before I get very angry." (New Girl, S07E04)
  • ♫: "Cat World" (New Girl, S07E04)
  • "Coach wanted to open up a gym and I wanted to help. Only it wasn't a gym, it was a restaurant: Coach's Jim. J-I-M. It was a Ruth's Chris situation." (New Girl, S07E04)
  • "Why are people taking pictures of the body? Is that a thing?"
    "Yeah. Taking pictures of the casket is the only African-American tradition I really can't get behind."
    "Ugh, that is so ratchet. I'm just gonna go Snapchat the flowers." (The Last O.G., S01E05)
  • RT: Excuse me, but this episode has a character named Elio, and later someone mentions San Junipero. (Riverdale, S02E20)

(Riverdale, S02E20)

  • Mail Robot takes the elevator (The Americans, S06E06)
  • "FUCK!" (The Americans, S06E06)
  • ♫: Tears For Fears – "Ideas As Opiates" (The Americans, S06E06)
  • "Hey, you saw that Dragon Ball Z last night?"
    "Nah, my mom won't let me watch it anymore. Saw the black guy with the red lips and now she says it's racist." (Atlanta, S02E10)
  • "You are a black man in America, and when you meet people, you need to look good. Your clothes are important." (Atlanta, S02E10)
  • Kenan as Takeoff (Saturday Night Live, S43E19)
  • Oran "Juice" Jones – "The Rain" (Saturday Night Live, S43E19)
  • "…Stop until…I feel tears on my titties." (Dear White People, S02E02)
  • "Check out millennial Frederick Douglass calling me 'Carlton.'"
    "Nigga, you dressed like you got a tee time later."
    "Nigga, you dressed like Che Guevara at Fashion Week."
    "What is this, the dozens?"
    "Nobody says that anymore."
    "What are you, 35?" (Dear White People, S02E02)
  • "Trust me. Ass-getting is my minor." (Dear White People, S02E03)
  • "As a white person, what can I do? Do I watch more BET? 'Cause I am down. I love that show." (Dear White People, S02E04)
  • "I fell for a guy who's hot and well-connected and eats the booty like high-end groceries."
    "He savours every bite. Hole Foods." (Dear White People, S02E04)
  • "If only I could order you in a Mahershala." (Dear White People, S02E05)
  • "Are you boy-smiling?"
    "What? No."
    "You've been humming 'Weak' all day and SWV is boy-smiling music."
    "I'm not, and black people are always humming 'Weak.'" (Dear White People, S02E05)
  • Tessa Thompson (Dear White People, S02E05)
  • "Trevor, are you a hotep?" (Dear White People, S02E05)
  • "If you're looking for base social commentary, try Andy Borowitz." (Dear White People, S02E06)
  • "Well, why don't you take a page out of the Fallout 4 handbook?"
    "Kill mutants and miss the RPG elements of the previous games?" (Dear White People, S02E06)
  • ♫: Someone – "Forget Forgive" (Dear White People, S02E08)
  • "Stop colonizing quinoa! #QuinWoke" (Dear White People, S02E10)
  • "What if it's just a cult, like hot yoga or New Hampshire?" (Dear White People, S02E10)
  • ♫: Jidenna – "Decibels" (Dear White People, S02E10)
  • The television week begins and ends with Giancarlo Esposito cameos (Westworld, S02E02; Dear White People, S02E10)
  • Dear White People Season Grade: C

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Barry


Hardly Any Diggity

[browsing Snowfall lead Damson Idris' IMDb page]

That synopsis.

Written and directed by Simon Adebisi! Based on his childhood!

Wikipedia » Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje » Early life and education:

As a teenager facing a cultural identity crisis, he joined a local skinhead gang in order to escape racial persecution at their hands.

So…not like Milky.

Which brings me to the sex robots

// Billings, MT

"You have Uber here?"

My wonder never ceased in the Magic City.

"You have an H&M?"
"You have a trampoline park?"
"You have plastic surgeons?"

"Another Tenacious D song? I'm surprised at their Q Score with this crowd."

Saturday night karaoke at the Crystal – white people karaoke, where you sing in front of everybody, not Asian people karaoke, where you sing amid mates in a private room, or mixed race karaoke, where you read an Asian translation of lyrics to an English-language song and translate them back into English as you sing.

[flipping through the song catalogue]

Hmph. No "There's Nothing Holdin' Me Back" by Shawn Mendes.

No "Nugget" by Cake either.

"A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper Is Crying" is available, though.


Hm. There's a Gravity Kills song, but it's not "Guilty." It's some song from 2002?

There's no mistaking the devotion the members of the Billings Kiss tribute band Strangeways have for their favorite band. [source]

Adam Robot: There's a Johnny Cash and Led Zep one too I believe.