47. Brimful of Asha (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E04)
- The Most Armed Man in America (Desus and Mero, 11-15-17)
- Wheel of Failure (Wheel of Fortune 11-15-17 / Desus and Mero, 11-16-17)
- Pete Davidson on Staten Island (Saturday Night Live, S43E06)
"How's it looking?"
"Your girlfriend is gonna love this one, bro."
"No, it's not my girlfriend, it's my mom."
"Bro, you should've told me that before I started working on these titties." (Shameless, S08E02)
- "Tandy, I appreciate your efforts, but I think I'm just too tired to be stimulated nipple-arily." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
"Hey, Care Bear, would you feel better if I stayed up all night and watched your vagina?"
"You would do that for me?"
"I would do that for a lot of people, but tonight, yes, it's for you." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
- "Carol, columns could crumble, the moon could explode, a banshee could scream in the very face of time, and I will not stop watching this vagina." (The Last Man on Earth, S04E06)
"I follow the golden rule, okay? 'Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you' – the golden rule."
"I follow the golden rule too – my friend Jasper Golden. 'Fuck them or they'll fuck you.'" (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
"I don't want some post-sex guy walking around my house, okay? Now get out."
"First of all, there's nothing wrong with people having the scent of fuck on their body."
"I don't like the scent of fuck, okay? Sue me. I don't like fuck scent." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
- "Gorgeous Romanian?! That's an oxymoron." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
"You have two children, heating and air-conditioning. You have to pick one, the one you had an affinity for, and the other one goes into the concentration camp. Which one you gonna keep?"
"Heat. Go with heat."
"So air conditioning's going to the concentration camp." (Curb Your Enthusiasm, S09E07)
- "Fuck this $25,000 tiger." (Vice Principals, S02E09)
- Vice principal Stevie Janowski (Vice Principals, S02E09)
- Vice Principals Season Grade: C+
- Jason Jordan fighting back tears and saying, "This is the one time that Raw and SmackDown go head-to-head in direct competition" (WWE Raw, 11-13-17)
"Grandma, I know what movie you should do for your ESL final monologue: The Sandlot."
"I told you, nothing with Denis Leary." (Fresh Off the Boat, S04E07)
"This is a huge opportunity. Governor Filucci is the real deal. He served in the Gulf War. He speaks Punjabi. He authored a crossword puzzle for the New York Times."
"Let me guess. Monday?" (The Mayor, S01E07)
- "A Nakatomi Plaza cake?! The groom is on a licorice hose!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S05E06)
"Kai, will you relax? Let me make you a Manwich."
"Fuck a Manwich!" (American Horror Story, S07E11)
- "Fortify yourselves with some vitamin A!" (American Horror Story, S07E11)
- "It was your idea to cut off his face." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
- "Killing people doesn't get the men hard and the ladies wet anymore, but Americans lose their ever-loving shit when you destroy their symbols, statues, flags, pledges of allegiance, $20 bills, white Jesus, and Merry fucking Christmas! You come for any of that stuff, you've got rioting in the streets and domination of the news cycle for weeks." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
- "You were wrong. There is something more dangerous in this world than a humiliated man: A nasty woman." (American Horror Story, S07E11)
- American Horror Story Season Grade: B-
- Mar-a-Lago (Mr. Robot, S03E06)
"Another fine choice of venue by Sergei."
"I passed that buffoon of an owner in the lobby. You gonna take him up on his offer to go boating tomorrow?"
"Oh, please, don't remind me. Those swim trunks he insists upon wearing, a bit too snug. And a bit too short, wouldn't you say?"
"Mm. I believe the appropriate term is 'hanging brain.'" (Mr. Robot, S03E06)
- ♫: Slothrust – "Like A Child Hiding Behind Your Tombstone" (You're the Worst, S04E13)
- You're the Worst Season Grade: D+
- Better Things Season Grade: C
- The Walking Dead + Breaking Bad + Talking Bad (Nirvanna the Band the Show, S02E04)
- "Why are Republicans trying so hard to protect Roy Moore from this case? It's not like he wrote the remix to 'Ignition'…" (Saturday Night Live, S43E06)
- "I've always wanted to fuck Luigi. I love Italian dick. I bet Luigi's dick, the whole dick is hairy. The whole dick. He has a dragon that shits eggs like a chicken. That's fucking dope." (Future Man, S01E01)
"I'm really sorry, Stu."
"Sorry doesn't re-swab those urethras." (Future Man, S01E01)
"Now, what was I talking about?"
"Oh, yes, of course. I'll never forget the night I contracted it. It was the night of the moon landing."
"That is a historic moment to contract herpes." (Future Man, S01E01)
- "I'm like, I don't even remember buying this. Then I realized it was my dad's Fleshlight." (Future Man, S01E04)
- "It's like macaroons for my nose!" (Future Man, S01E04)
- Kombucha-boarding (Future Man, S01E04)
- "No more, please! I can't take it! It's too tart!" (Future Man, S01E04)
- "Morris, 'buch him." (Future Man, S01E04)
Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: The Deuce
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Nathan For You