Little late to the party, Giant.

[clicks on link]

Salted caramel bacon?

Salted caramel water?!

All of Giant's salted caramel-inspired creations:

Salted Caramel Apple Pancake and Waffle Mix
Salted Caramel Nut Bars
Salted Caramel Popcorn
Salted Caramel Toffee Ice Cream
Salted Caramel Covered in Dark Chocolate
Nature's Promise Salted Caramel Bacon
Salted Caramel Mini Muffins
Salted Caramel Brioche Loaf
Salted Caramel Cheddar Cheese
Salted Caramel 4 Inch Cake
Salted Caramel Infused Maple Syrup
Salted Caramel Granola
Salted Caramel Break n Bake Cookie
Salted Caramel Liquid Hand Soap
Nature's Promise Salted Caramel Unsweetened Water
Salted Caramel Apple Juice
Salted Caramel Bloom in a Bag Plant
Salted Caramel Goat Cheese Log
Salted Caramel Mini Cupcakes
Salted Caramel Brownie Bites

Giant created A PLANT THAT SMELLS LIKE SALTED CARAMEL. Your move, Trader Joe's pumpkin lab.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

31. There Will Be Bloods (Insecure, S02E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Karvel escaping the boot of the car through the back seat (Snowfall, S01E04)

Stray Observations

  • "Incompetence should not be rewarded with blind loyalty." (Game of Thrones, S07E02)
  • Cutting from Sam's surgery to the pie at the inn at the crossroads (Game of Thrones, S07E02)
  • "A foreign invasion is underway." (Game of Thrones, S07E02)

(Game of Thrones, S07E02)

  • "He's dead." (Twin Peaks, S03E11)
  • Honking (Twin Peaks, S03E11)
  • "Dirty bearded men in a room." (Twin Peaks, S03E11)
  • ♫: Shawn Colvin – "Viva Las Vegas" (Twin Peaks, S03E11)

(Twin Peaks, S03E11)

(Twin Peaks, S03E11)

  • "This pie is so damn good."
    "Damn good." (Twin Peaks, S03E11)
  • "My pullout is straight 100, brother." (Ballers, S03E01)
  • "You know I saw you on your game the other night at International Smoke." (Ballers, S03E01)
  • "You know, my Slyce digital media company." (Ballers, S03E01)
  • "Just trying to get you in the mile high club." (Ballers, S03E01)
  • Steve Guttenberg (Ballers, S03E01)
  • ♫: Goldlink – "Crew [feat. Brent Faiyaz and Shy Glizzy]" (Insecure, S02E01)
  • ♫: Jorja Smith – "February 3rd" (Insecure, S02E01)
  • "My cousin got a Westside Rentals password if you want that." (Insecure, S02E01)
  • Habanero Oreos (Insecure, S02E01)
  • "We hope you enjoyed this edition of American Psychopaths. Join us next time for chapter 58: Dick Cheney." (Preacher, S02E06)
  • "Okay, what do you think of this song for my dance?"
    [♫: The Verve Pipe – "The Freshmen"]
    "Okay, Maxine, what the hell was that?"
    "Just the fact that you know that song reminds me that we had very different childhoods."
    "Well, if I'm gonna be stripping, it needs to be to something emotional."
    "Strip clubs are depressing enough when they're playing Drake!" (The Carmichael Show, S03E10)
  • "I'm trying to work on my stripper name. So, what do you like better: Double Dip or Wet Sprinkle?" (The Carmichael Show, S03E10)
  • "Maxine, why you look like a prostitute Inspector Gadget?" (The Carmichael Show, S03E10)
  • "Everybody likes to borrow things from black culture 'cause we so fun and cool." (The Carmichael Show, S03E10)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Carmichael Show


Pata Sucia

I can't stop laughing at this billboard in Yakima, WA:


A group of about 60 local youngsters helped craft the message, which they thought would be effective in their demographic. [source]

According to the Healthy Youth Survey, in 2016, roughly 19 percent of local Hispanic 10th-graders had used pot compared with 17.6 percent of non-Hispanic students. [source]


I suppose "We don't need pot to have fun. We're not Hispanics…" would read worse.

"We're Detroit by default."

Rory: I see your Yakima billboard and raise you


Eater bracketed "the Most Truly Awful Restaurant Names out there":

Blunch won.

This tournament needed a bracket of just boba shop names.

In my area alone: E Tea, i-Tea, Inteanet, Teaquation, Tpumps, Cafe LaTTea, Bobabia, Bubble Loca, Meow Tea, What8ver Express…


Idea: One day, most of Earth's population disappears, leaving behind "the 1%." What happens when the wealthiest and most powerful people in the world only have each other to exploit?

While one percent of Earth's population is still 75 million people, how many of them can fly a plane?

Idea: One day, the President of the United States of America wakes up inside a solid, transparent, 20ft x 20ft x 20ft cube at the foot of Capitol Hill in Washington, D.C.

The only opening in the cube is a hole 2cm in diameter on the top of the cube, through which air, food, and water can pass.

A sign on one side of the cube reads: "The only way to open this cube is by dropping a nuclear bomb on it from 20,000ft above. Do not try to open this cube otherwise. You will fail. Do not try to move this cube. You will fail."

All attempts to open the cube otherwise or move the cube fail.

The cube is shielded from public view.

In addition to contaminating the capital of the United States of America, you kill its president by dropping a nuclear bomb on the cube, but if you don't bomb the cube, then the President of the United States of America will rot inside outside the United States Capitol forever.

Idea: 28 Days Later, but the virus only infects millennials.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

30. Fun with Doug and Jane (Twin Peaks, S03E10)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "So here I am, with a thousand ships, and two good hands." (Game of Thrones, S07E01)
  • Ed Sheeran (Game of Thrones, S07E01)
  • Thomas Turgoose (Game of Thrones, S07E01)
  • "Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?"
    "Well, go to the bank, get a loan."
    "Oh, Polly-Pol, you see life through Caucasian-coloured glasses." (Claws, S01E06)
  • "It's constructed entirely from pubic hair collected at the Hernando Correctional Institute." (Claws, S01E06)
  • Nadine's silent draper runner store (Twin Peaks, S03E10)

(Twin Peaks, S03E10)

  • Moby (Twin Peaks, S03E10)
  • ♫: Teenage Jesus and the Jerks – "Empty Eyes" (Preacher, S02E05)
  • "We can debate about the dick bit later!" (MasterChef, S08E07)
  • "Every hand-knit sweater is made by a woman who's lost all hope." (The Carmichael Show, S03E09)
  • "Empowerment is not for the elderly. They can barely text. You think they can handle a new identity?" (The Carmichael Show, S03E09)
  • "Did women have self-esteem before Destiny's Child or not?" (The Carmichael Show, S03E09)
  • "This guy ate ice out of her butt."
    "So just because someone puts ice up their butt, you don't trust their judgment? If you're young and hot and you live in L.A., you're shoving ice up your butt." (I'm Sorry, S01E03)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Carmichael Show



Supreme × Kermit the Frog.

The Hundreds × Disney.

Bears with Hot Topic flair will be available at Hot Topic stores. Accompanying furry friend outfits and accessories will be sold in Build-A-Bear Workshop stores. The matching young adult styles will be available at Hot Topic stores. [source]

No Bullet Club bear. I suppose that's NJPW × Build-A-Bear, though.

(Amazon × ALDI) / Kirkland.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

29. Gollum Reads Trump's Tweets (The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 07-11-17)

Stray Observations

  • Hudson Mohawke (Twin Peaks, S03E09)
  • Sky Ferreira scratching her armpit rash (Twin Peaks, S03E09)
  • Polly menacingly licking frosting off a cupcake (Claws, S01E05)
  • Frankie Muniz (Preacher, S02E04)
  • Brodus Clay (Preacher, S02E04)
  • "What happened to you, Hitler? You used to be…Hitler!" (Preacher, S02E04)
  • "I know that you're trying to get me to a state of peace, but this meditation thing takes too much time and focus. Hennessy is relaxing immediately!" (The Carmichael Show, S03E08)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Carmichael Show


Soppressata, capicollo, and a striata baguette

Alas, I don't visit Chicago until August.

I'll be in Chicago for the Riot Feast, though:

The Adult Swim Feast

Ranch It Up! Crudité
Chicken Nuggets with Szechuan Sauce
Potato Skins Bar

Meatwad Sandwich with Fries Dipped in Milkshake
Cinco Pasta Bear

Too Many Cookies

Red Mocho Kooler and Hunchback Cocktails

The Truth Is Not H

BITCOIN HEIST (2017) Official Trailer

Why do you need a magician and a conman to steal virtual currency?

Oh, they steal a ring containing a QR code.

Did you know that Lance Burton wrote, directed, and starred in a 2015 film?

Eat your heart out, Spider-Man: Homecoming poster.

BILLY TOPIT MASTER MAGICIAN is excellent at performing magic, he is just not very successful. His life gets complicated when some greasy mob guys comes after him looking for money. Billy uses his magic skills to avoid confrontation as long as he can, because he wants to concentrate on his magic career and his new girlfriend.

Things get wildly out of control and BILLY TOPIT MASTER MAGICIAN has to call on his best friends for help. The Magician, the Ventriloquist, the Jugglers, and the Mime will have to stage a rescue!

What good are jugglers and a mime for staging a rescue?

Idea: Coachella, but for magic. Three days, 162 magic acts, plus street magicians wandering the concourse.

Friday headliner: Penn and Teller
Saturday headliner: David Copperfield
Sunday headliner: David Blaine


Two months from today, Adam Riff™ will celebrate its 17th anniversary, so I can finally, comfortably, say:

I've been blogging for about 17 years, okay? I don't write my stuff anymore. I just kick it from my head. You know what I'm saying? I can do that. No disrespect, but that's how I am.

Ratatat Remixes Vol. 3 is one of the few music things that my washed ass would pop for.

Ratatat Remixes Vol. 3, a Soul Coughing reunion, and Dan the Automator, a Dust Brother, and Prince Paul's unreleased album.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

28. Self Defense (Tour de Pharmacy)

Not safe for work.

Stray Observations

  • "I picked out my new titties, Jen!" (Claws, S01E04)
  • "You don't want to live a life of missionary boredom. You're not that kind of Jew!" (Claws, S01E04)

(Snowfall, S01E01)

  • "Franklin Saint, king of all the white boys." (Snowfall, S01E01)
  • "I give you liquor and you hit me with attitude." (Snowfall, S01E01)
  • "Money ain't nothing but paper with them crackers' faces on it." (Snowfall, S01E01)
  • "He died with his dick out." (Tour de Pharmacy)

(Tour de Pharmacy)

  • "Juwanna Mann is, I think, one of the best films – it's arguably the best…film!" (Tour de Pharmacy)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Twin Peaks
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: The Carmichael Show


We only listen to grindcore thrash metal

A&E Network to Premiere New Nonfiction Series "The Lowe Files" on Wednesday, August 2 at 10pm ET/PT

The new nonfiction series follows Rob Lowe and his two sons, Matthew and John Owen, as they travel through the country to explore infamous unsolved mysteries.

In the hour-long premiere episode, Rob and his sons visit Preston Castle, a condemned former boys' reformatory in Ione, CA that was built in the late 1800's. Since closing in 1960, it has become a California Historical Landmark that is said to house angry, vengeful spirits. With the help of Rob's personal shaman, the boys work to draw out the spirit of a murder victim whose residual energy remains at the castle.

The world needs a spin-off series about Rob Lowe's personal shaman.

Fuse Media Unveils New Slate Of Original Content for 2017-18 Upfront Season

FLUFFY'S FOOD ADVENTURES – You hungry? Well Fluffy is – and he's taking his crew of comedians on a coast-to-coast culinary trip in search of the country's most mouthwatering dishes.

ASK FLUFFY – Fuse and Gabriel Iglesias solicit questions via social media on a variety of topics.

FLUFFY'S HOT SPOTS – In each city he visits, Gabriel Iglesias takes us through the top places to visit.

FLUFFY AT HOME – Fans want to know what Fluffy's doing when he's not on the road. This series allows fans to check out Gabriel Iglesias' man cave filled with his loved VW buses, his personal barber shop and his extensive merchandising area.

FLUFFY OFF THE MENU – Join Gabriel Iglesias and a few of his favorite chefs as they teach you how to make tasty dishes in a matter of minutes.

Also coming to Fuse:

From Wilmer Valderrama, THE HOLLYWOOD PUPPET SH!T SHOW features true untold celebrity stories reenacted by marionette puppets.

Celebrities include Joe Jonas, Lil Jon, and Amber Rose.

On Monday, July 10 Los Angeles residents will get a chance to interact with a 25-foot working puppet of Wilmer Valderrama that's set to grace the corner of Hollywood and Highland. [source]