18. Wu-Tang Trampoline (The Leftovers, S03E02) Honourable Mention Trog × My Way of Life" × The Doors' "The End" (Feud, S01E08) The Ceremony (The Handmaid's Tale, S01E01) Stray Observations "You kids have a gurney?" "Oh, we just got rid of all our gurneys." (Bob's Burgers,…
Date Archives April 2017
No wolf like the present
Previously on Adam Riff™: Apropos of nothing, I re-scored Westworld's opening credits with The Weeknd's "Starboy." Apropos of nothing, I re-scored The Wire's opening credits with Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You": I can no longer hear the words "what's it like to" without thinking of…
I am a man, Kurt! I am no garbage!
We were staying in Paris If we go down, then we go down together They'll say you could do anything They'll say that I was clever If we go down, then we go down together We'll get away with everything I like to think that…
Curly-Haired Slacker
[browsing celebrity guests for this year's Silicon Valley Comic Con] Pam Grier? The dude who played Mr. McFeely on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood? Comic cons have become county fairs for actors. There was an Asian girl on Stranger Things? Who ARE these people? And why would…
Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week
17. Pump Pump (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E14) Honourable Mention Piss Montage (Fargo, S03E01) Stray Observations RT: "Originally, we wanted to do an Anthony Bourdain balloon because of the idea that celebrity chefs had disappeared en masse. We got Bourdain's photo in the pilot, but [when he…
24 Hour Revenge Therapy
This thing is the Vanna White of sports: A pitch is literally surrounded by LED displays that can convey the same information – and more clearly. When someone refers to a sports analyst as "Coach"… NO! A coach is not a doctor! He hasn't coached…
Levitate, levitate, levitate, levitate
The champion: The challenger:
Hot Gun
This should've been the Ghostbusters remake.
Eater's Digest: Las Vegas 4
Previously on Adam Riff™: O.M.G. Burger (LVB Burgers) duck burger stuffed with muenster cheese, smoked ketchup, heirloom tomato, watercress, roasted duck mayo —Where I began to wonder if I actually love duck, or if I just love Peking duck. March 2017 morimoto / sugarcane /…
Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week
16. Braun Strowman savagely attacks Roman Reigns (WWE Raw, 04-10-17) Honourable Mention Downriver Ale / Little Caesars / Chrysler Pacifica ads (Detroiters, S01E10) Stray Observations Homeland Season Grade: D John Waters as William Castle (Feud, S01E06) "Does the syntax concern anyone else here at the…
You've lost your life
I called the number and an answering machine answered.
Hold My Beer
Previously on Adam Riff™ (July 2008): Apparently [Tony] Jaa walked off the set [of Ong Bak 2] two months ago, stressed over the work load of his directorial debut. Some reports say that Jaa has retreated to some remote caves in northern Thailand to meditate…
New Wave, cold-filtered, low-calorie dry
Restaurants From Seinfeld, It's Always Sunny in Philadephia, and South Park Will Come to Life in San Francisco Raisins is Hooters. Mister Jiu's is Chinese. Why not use City Wok? And how can you approximate South Park in San Francisco without a pop-up Vernacular? Or…
Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week
15. Roadblock: Shamir's Testicles (The Amazing Race, S29E02) Stray Observations "I lost the year 1996 to schnapps. I still don't know what the Macarena is." (Bob's Burgers, S07E16) "It's definitely not a him because it has babies." "Oh, a gay raccoon can't have babies?" "Oh,…
Pyrrhic Victory
Shit, it's April 6? I've celebrated it incorrectly this whole time? [grumbling] Eight years ago TODAY, I launched The Agony of Defeat on a whim, and over 10,000 posts and a stint contributing to ESPN.com's Page 2 later, I'm throwing in the towel. It began…
Cannibal hymns of the bourgeoisie
This is Coachella? How The Coachella Party Scene Is Shaping Up So Far Five Victoria's Secret Angels will be hosting a private bash, complete with beauty stations. The event is over at 6 p.m., which gives guests plenty of time to hit the Polo Fields…
The Boys of Summer
Zach Braff directed this?! It's the third film in both Morgan Freeman and Zach Braff's "aging" trilogies. Adam Sandler's third film (of eight!) for Netflix drops next week. Can it top the 0% and 5% Rotten Tomatoes ratings for his previous two films (both for…