Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

5. Opening credits (The Young Pope, S01E03/S01E04)

Honourable Mention

  • Sabrina vs. Chip fight (The Mick, S01E06)

Stray Observations

  • "Hey, have you seen Zorn?"
    "No. Why? Everything okay?"
    "Well, I'm worried about Alan. He had a 40-minute shower cry."
    "I don't know much about parenting. I'm gonna guess 'gay.'" (Son of Zorn, S01E11)
  • "Presidents don't get chances; they get tested." (Homeland, S06E02)
  • "The young are always more extreme than the old." (The Young Pope, S01E03)
  • "Believers don't cry." (The Young Pope, S01E04)
  • "She's the metronome of sleep." (The Young Pope, S01E04)
  • "Ben, are you watching Alien?! Oh come on, man! Aliens is a way better movie." (The Mick, S01E06)
  • "I have sailed to places where there is no damnation." (Taboo, S01E03)
  • "You could allow your cunt to swallow the work of an honest man." (Taboo, S01E03)
  • "As you know, only a child of Earth can wear the crown of the High King. I will ask you a series of questions designed to root out all pretenders to the throne. Only a true High King will hold the answers in his heart."
    "Come at me."
    "What popular American television program stars actor Tim Daly?"
    "What the fuck?"
    "He was in a lot of TV shows." (The Magicians, S02E01)
  • "This is gonna touch all of Frank's Fluids."
    "My God, there are other fluids?"
    "Yeah. Wolf Cola, some Nip boba drink…" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E04)
  • "Now social media will come down on you with the fury of a middle-aged man who has accomplished nothing." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E04)
  • "You're gonna be puking on your dick in no time." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E04)
  • "I want to, like, put it in one of those trumpet shells and smoke it."
    "It's called a 'cock shell.' I saw that in an underwater porno once."
    "Little Spermaid, yeah." (Workaholics, S07E03)
  • ♫: Melodysheep – "Get Pitted" (Workaholics, S07E03)

(Workaholics, S07E03)

  • "Hodor!" (Workaholics, S07E03)
  • "Ohhh man, we've gotta find a way out of here. I cannot die in Crocs."
    "There's an empty jacuzzi. I cannot die in an empty jacuzzi like my aunts."
    "They all died in an empty jacuzzi." (Workaholics, S07E03)
  • "I'd love to be a cheerleader. It would look great on my college applications. But, last year, when I tried out, Cheryl said I was too fat."
    "'Too season five Betty Draper.'" (Riverdale, S01E01)
  • ♫: Tove Styrke – "Number One" (Riverdale, S01E01)
  • Clown toilet (Baskets, S02E02)
  • "Hey, you know, if you need any jokes, I found a joke book at the dump."
    "What were you doing at the dump? On a date or something?"
    "No, I was just snooping around."
    "Snooping around?"
    "Yeah, what else do you do at the dump?" (Baskets, S02E02)
  • "Martha, take the children back to the corn." (Baskets, S02E02)

(Portlandia, S07E04)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


Last call on Adam Riff™'s 2016 audio mixes:

Breathing fire doesn't look good on a résumé


Notorious in Toronto and virtually unknown elsewhere, Sicilian Vampire star/director/producer/musician Frank D'Angelo is a dubiously talented businessman with a lot of cash to throw around, primarily (presumably) thanks to D'Angelo Brands, a company whose wares include the energy drink Cheetah Power Surge. Since 2010, he's also been the host of The Being Frank Show, a late-night talk show taped weekly at the Forget About It Supper Club, one of D'Angelo's two restaurants. It looks like a real show but it's really just an infomercial D'Angelo has paid for, interrupted only by commercials for his own products. He's also cranked out a series of albums in the Seth MacFarlane–big-band vein and claims to have written 500 songs.

In 2013, D'Angelo decided he wanted to make films and he started with Real Gangsters, a mob film starring himself whose general tenor can be gathered from this opening snippet of dialogue: "The finality of life, it sucks big fuckin' cock." Sicilian Vampire is his fourth film, a feat of productivity made possible by D'Angelo's decision to shoot all his films in five days or less. All of these films cost at least $5 million Canadian (about $3.7 million U.S.), with actors paid in cash. [source]

if that's what we wanna do

I've been brainstorming food items for the pub that Chris Castle and I plan to open in Seattle.

What I have so far:

Mex Mix
A mix of Takis, cacahuates japoneses, Totis Donitas, Sabritas Adobadas, chicharrones, and Gardetto's roasted garlic rye chips.

A mix of Belgian fries, curly fries, garlic waffle fries, sweet potato crinkle-cut fries, and tater tots served in a mixing bowl.

Doomsday Pepper
A roasted poblano pepper stuffed with canned meats and [Kraft cheese powder + evaporated milk], breaded with instant ramen, and fried.

Fuck, Marry, Kale
Deep-fried oysters and calamari rings served with a kale aioli.

Florida Man
An alligator/python-sausage corn dog served with Grey Poupon.

Suicide Wings
Six chicken wings, each with a different soda-fountain-based glaze – Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dr. Pepper, root beer, Orange Fanta, Mountain Dew.

Olympia Burger
A cheeseburger topped with chips and a Pepsi barbecue sauce.

The Hajj
A play on a Thanksgiving sandwich. Pita bread, turkey shawarma, cranberry chutney, stuffing-flavoured falafel, toum mashed potatoes, tahini gravy.

Bill Murray
A play on an egg cream (chocolate syrup + milk + carbonated water). The chocolate syrup is thinned Nutella with a sriracha kick. The milk is almond milk. The carbonated water is LaCroix. Served with a bacon straw.

I want to name our pub "Ipecac." Chris prefers "Alterations."

Come snuggle with a thug

Now screening at Sundance:

Bushwick (2017)
On the way to Grandma's house with a new boyfriend in tow, Lucy (Brittany Snow) steps off the subway into an utter bloodbath on the streets of Brooklyn's Bushwick neighborhood. Texas is attempting to secede from the Union, and militia forces have descended upon New York City to claim it as an East Coast base of operations and negotiation tool. Faced with a flurry of whizzing bullets and total destruction around every corner, Lucy takes shelter in the basement of Stupe (Dave Bautista), a burly war veteran who reluctantly helps her traverse the treacherous five-block stretch of Bushwick to reach her destination—assuming it's still there.

Bolstered by an immersive score from Aesop Rock.

related: Crown Heights (2017), starring Nnamdi Asomugha – also now screening at Sundance

related: Brighton Beach (2017), starring FKA twigs



Synopsis: "Two 'foodie' brothers kidnap those who ruin their dining experience and kill them – each in their own unique 'food-related' manner."

According to IMDB, Kevin Nash plays himself in Slaw, and returns in Slaw 2, which is already in pre-production.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

4. In the beginning (The Young Pope, S01E01)

Honourable Mention

  • Mickey trying to make Ben throw up by putting her fingers down his throat and jiggling (The Mick, S01E04)
  • La La Land Interrogation (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)
  • Dirty Talk (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)
  • Five Stars (Saturday Night Live, S42E12)

Stray Observations

  • "Who the hell are you?"
    "My name's Sherlock Holmes."
    "The detective."
    "The pirate." (Sherlock, S04E03)
  • Sherlock Season Grade: C-
  • Clown gag (The Mick, S01E04)
  • ♫: Labradford – "By Chris Johnston, Craig Markva, Jamie Evans," (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "I'll wait here for my Cherry Coke Zero." (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • ♫: Melodium – "Kissing Disease" (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "The past is an enormous place with all sorts of things inside. Not so with the present. The present is merely a narrow opening with room for only one pair of eyes – mine." (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • "Was it hard? To close off the Basilica to tourists?"
    "No, no. All we had to do was hang up a sign saying 'closed.'" (The Young Pope, S01E01)
  • ♫: Andrew Bird – "Logan's Loop" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • ♫: Recondite – "Levo" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • ♫: Land Observations – "Nice to Turin" (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "Time for your snack, Holy Father." (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "I have to have my snack now." (The Young Pope, S01E02)
  • "This isn't gonna be some back-alley sack waxing." (New Girl, S06E13)

(Fresh Off the Boat, S03E10)

  • Combo! (Taboo, S01E02)
  • RT: King George is basically just fat Mycroft from The Abominable Bride. (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "We are an angry nation."
    "Yeah. I'm counting on it." (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "You are their whore, the same as almost everyone else in this city, apart from those who are actually labeled a 'whore.'" (Taboo, S01E02)
  • "We will haunt this nigger to justice." (Taboo, S01E02)
  • Scroobius Pip (Taboo, S01E02)

(WWE NXT, 01-18-17)

  • "You're kind of a loose cannon."
    "A loose cannon downs more ships." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "He is your new grandma's flowers. Don't let him die." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "I asked for a Randy and he gave me a Brad." (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • Gregory Hines photograph (Fresh Off the Boat, S03E11)
  • "That is the first time I've wanted to show you all five, not just the middle one." (Speechless, S01E13)
  • Dennis Quaid? (Workaholics, S07E02)

(Workaholics, S07E02)

  • That was Topher Grace? (Workaholics, S07E02)
  • The Methelda Show (Man Seeking Woman, S03E03)
  • "I've ruled the fart inadmissible as evidence." (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • Alice Murphy (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • "As concerning Jason Mendoza, I have heard no statements nor seen any evidence to suggest—ohh. He's from Florida? Yeah. He belongs in the Bad Place." (The Good Place, S01E12)
  • "He who smelt it murdered Janet." (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • Pizza is the new frozen yogurt (The Good Place, S01E13)
  • The Good Place Season Grade: B

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


By the way, you do things to my body

Idea: The Price Is Right: Music Edition

Contestants' Row: The contestant whose rating is closest to the actual Pitchfork rating of an album without going over advances.

To win Plinko chips: One tour, four cities. Was the average resale ticket price for this tour's stop in this city higher or lower than the price listed?

Hole in One: Order six items from a musical artist's tour rider from least to most expensive.

Cliff Hangers: Three albums. How long is each album, in minutes, rounded up? For every minute you're off, the climber goes up one.

One Away: Five singles by one musical artist, five numbers that are one away from where each single peaked on the Billboard Hot 100.

Range Game: The range is the tracklist for an album. The range finder is three songs. We surveyed 1000 fans of this album. Stop the range finder where most people answered is this album's best three-song stretch.

The Showcase: Name the cost of one of two music videos.

Let's get gory, like a Tarantino movie


Deadline's interview with Cameron Crowe revealed that Crowe wrote [Jerry Maguire] for … Tom Hanks! Who knew??? That almost broke my brain. (Yes, Hanks turned it down.) Crowe also revealed that Connie Britton nearly ended up with the Renée Zellweger part and that Cuba Gooding Jr. beat out Jamie Foxx for Rod Tidwell. I continue to think that "Hollywood Movie Casting What-ifs" would be a riveting book.

As Hollywood seems to be remaking or rebooting everything, why not remake or reboot projects with actors who passed on the original or were beaten out?

Remake Jerry Maguire with Tom Hanks, Connie Britton, and Jamie Foxx.

Reboot The Sopranos with Ray Liotta as Tony Soprano.

Yes, a remake of White Men Can't Jump is wholly unnecessary, but what if it actualised a parallel universe? Eh?

According to White Men Can't Jump's IMDb trivia, Charlie Sheen was the first choice for the role of Billy Hoyle, and Fox wanted Denzel Washington for the role of Sidney Dean.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

3. What About Men? (Portlandia, S07E02)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "'Taking your own life.' Interesting expression. Taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Who's this one? Is this a new person? I'm against new people." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Stress can ruin every day of your life; dying can only ruin one." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "I'm that predictable?"
    "No. I'm just a cock." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Oh, the posh boy loves the dominatrix. He's never knowingly under-clichéd, is he?" (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Is there nights of passion in High Wycombe?" (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "Just text her back."
    "Because High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand." (Sherlock, S04E02)
  • "I'm so glad we finally found a use for your grandmother's dollhouse furniture collection "
    "Yeah, me too. I wish she was here to see it, but she's in Tampa, in her grave." (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • Terrell Owens – huh (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • "Here's my belly button's review of the movie Gone Girl." (Son of Zorn, S01E10)
  • "How am I supposed to learn about life when you won't let me watch The Good Wife?" (Bob's Burgers, S07E08)
  • "People who do not know me soon come to understand that I do not have any sense. Now please do not misunderstand the situation. You send me 12 men, I will return you 12 sets of testicles in a bag, and we can watch your little whores devour them together, before I chop off your trotters, and boil them." (Taboo, S01E01)
  • Jonathan Pryce's use of the F word (Taboo, S01E01)
  • Minnie Driver's discussing her colourful English family (Speechless, S01E12)
  • "What is dressage, after all, but…dancing for horses?" (Speechless, S01E12)
  • "The American white woman is as fickle as a Pinot noir." (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "White women aren't sisters. We hate each other." (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "Oh, I'm racist?! I'm a racist?!"
    "Please don't say it…"
    "I have black friends!" (Black-ish, S03E12)
  • "AIDS! AIDS! I got AIDS! I got AIDS! We're coming through."
    "I'm his doctor. My patient's gotta get to the front of the line because he has AIDS."
    "I got the AIDS."
    "He got it from a gay guy in the '80s."
    "I'm not gay… I mean… There's two kinds of AIDS. There's the vagina AIDS, then the needle-based AIDS. I'm a vagina guy."
    "Well, no, actually my test results show that it was the gay AIDS."
    "All AIDS are bad! That's… No good AIDS! But I'm telling you, like I said, this is not the gay AIDS." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "What are you guys doing? You guys doing an AIDS thing?"
    "Oh, yeah. Yeah. I gave Frank a couple hickeys to sell the lesions."
    "Sucked on 'em."
    "Yeah, yeah. You doing a fake daughter thing?"
    "Cool." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "Your daughter is a special kid, a gifted child who should be treasured. If she were born in China, she'd… Wait, I already did that. Didn't work. If she were born in… What country treasures their women?" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "There's AIDS blood in the pool!"
    "There's goddamn AIDS blood?!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E02)
  • "I'm-a need a little help shaving my butthole."
    "Absolutely not."
    "Shave my butthole, Ders."
    "No. If anything, I'm gonna shave my butthole, and I'm gonna eat chowder so that I can have an explosive O."
    "I have got a thick, thick mane down there, and my family will be embarrassed by my porno if I don't have a slick butthole. Please. You're a swimmer. I know you shave other men's buttholes often."
    "Fine. I'm only doing this because I'm good at it, okay? You trim my chowder, I'll shave your hole."
    "Right side's done. Go ahead and give it a feel. I put it at a two. I can take it down to a one. It's gonna be prickly, though." (Workaholics, S07E01)
  • "I wasn't a failed DJ; I was pre-successful." (The Good Place, S01E11)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


The People vs. D.J. Cohen

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Completing our triptych is Sum of Sixteen, Ben's 2016 master cleanse.

  1. Sum of Sixteen DJ Benny C

As it is a single track, here is a road map:

Miike Snow – "Genghis Khan"
AlunaGeorge – "Not Above Love"
The Knocks – "Kiss the Sky (feat. Wyclef Jean)"
Kanye West – "Fade"
The Weeknd – "Starboy (feat. Daft Punk)"
Luke Million – "Stranger Things Theme"
Galantis – "No Money (Joe Maz Remix)"
Joey Purp – "Girls @ (feat. Chance The Rapper)"
DJ Snake – "Middle (feat. Bipolar Sunshine)"
Capital Cities – "Vowels"
DJ Mustard – "Whole Lotta Lovin' (feat Travis Scott)"
Rihanna – "Love on the Brain (Gigamesh Remix)"
The 1975 – "The Sound"
Tinie Tempah – "Bounce"
Alicia Keys – "In Common (Kaskade Remix)"
Beyoncé – "Formation"
Years & Years – "Desire (feat. Tove Lo)"
Twenty One Pilots – "Ride"
Drake & Future – "Jumpman (Whiiite Remix)"
Chance the Rapper – "No Problem (feat. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz)"
Francis and the Lights – "Friends (feat. Bon Iver)"
D.R.A.M. – "Broccoli (feat. Lil Yachty)"
Kevin Gates – "2 Phones (Jayceeoh × Styles & Complete Remix)"
Future – "Xanny Family"
Kwesta – "Ngud' (feat. Cassper Nyovest)"
A Tribe Called Quest – "We the People…."
YG – "FDT (feat. Nipsey Hussle)"
Rihanna – "Work (feat. Drake) [Lost Kings Remix]"
Fetty Wap – "679 (feat. Monty) [Danny Diggz Remix]"
AlunaGeorge – "I'm in Control (feat. Popcaan)"
Charly Black – "Gyal You a Party Animal"
Yellow Claw – "Invitation (feat. Yade Lauren)"
ZHU – "Generationwhy"
Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam"
MAC MILLER – "Dang! (feat. Anderson .Paak)"
Marshmello – "Ritual (feat. Wrabel)"
Dillon Francis – "Anywhere (feat. Will Heard)"
Cashmere Cat – "Trust Nobody (feat. Selena Gomez & Tory Lanez)"
Chelsea Lankes – "Bullet"
Tove Lo – "Cool Girl (Denis First Remix)"
Calvin Harris – "This Is What You Came For (feat. Rihanna) [JM Castillo Remix]"
A-Trak – "Parallel Lines (feat. Phantogram)"
A$AP Ferg – "Strive (feat. Missy Elliott)"
Lil Uzi Vert – "You Was Right"
Rae Sremmurd – "Black Beatles (feat. Gucci Mane) [Aazar Remix]"
blink-182 – "Bored to Death"
G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance"

alternate download link

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Our favourite songs. One per year.

Time to update it.

Side A (curated by Jon)
1. Radiohead – "The National Anthem" [2000]
2. Finch – "What It Is to Burn (Demo)" [2001]
3. Spoon – "Stay Don't Go" [2002]
4. The Mars Volta – "Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt"
5. Ratatat – "Seventeen Years"
6. The Mountain Goats – "This Year"
7. DragonForce – "Through the Fire and Flames"
8. Frank Turner – "The Real Damage"
9. The Wonder Years – "You're Not Salinger. Get Over It."
10. So Many Dynamos – "New Bones"
11. Jamie Lidell – "Your Sweet Boom"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Jai Paul – "Jasmine (Demo)"
14. CHVRCHES – "The Mother We Share"
15. CFO$ – "Worlds Apart" [2014]
16. Oneohtrix Point Never – "No Good" [2015]
17. Kanye West – "Ultralight Beam" [2016]

Jon: What is left to say? "Ultralight Beam" is a majestic pop unicorn, teeming with soul, my most desired quality in music nowadays.

Side B (curated by Ben)
1. Outkast – "B.O.B." [2000]
2. Gob – "I Hear You Calling" [2001]
3. Justin Timberlake – "Cry Me a River" [2002]
4. The White Stripes – "Seven Nation Army"
5. Franz Ferdinand – "Take Me Out"
6. R. Kelly – "Trapped in the Closet"
7. TV on the Radio – "Wolf Like Me"
8. UGK – "Int'l Players Anthem (I Choose You) [feat. Outkast]"
9. MGMT – "Time to Pretend"
10. Passion Pit – "The Reeling"
11. LCD Soundsystem – "Dance Yrself Clean"
12. M83 – "Midnight City"
13. Bruno Mars – "Locked Out of Heaven"
14. Daft Punk – "Get Lucky (feat. Pharrell Williams)"
15. Duke Dumont – "I Got You (feat. Jax Jones)" [2014]
16. Major Lazer × DJ Snake – "Lean On (feat. MØ)" [2015]
17. G.L.O.S.S. – "Give Violence a Chance" [2016]


In late September, I stumbled upon G.L.O.S.S. (Girls Living Outside Society's Shit), a queer hardcore punk band from Olympia. The band has a number of LGBTQ members in it, including a trans woman lead singer. They have released a demo and an EP, Trans Day of Revenge.

The first time I heard "Give Violence a Chance," chills went down my spine. It activated the part of my lizard brain that made me like the Dead Kennedys. It is unapologetically violent, political, and angry, but also really fucking good music. G.L.O.S.S. broke up after TDoR, but I'm holding out hope that, with this radically different political environment, they'll find a way to make new music.

Awesome 2:16

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I am chuffed to present My Super Sweet '16, a gallimaufry of audio things 2016.

My original album art idea for My Super Sweet '16 was a play on this still from Sixteen Candles:

with Hillary Clinton as Molly Ringwald and Bernie Sanders as Jake Ryan, possibly accompanied by a play on this still from Sixteen Candles:

with Donald Trump as Long Duk Dong – Long Duk Donald.

That idea led to an ambitious idea to mash up Stranger Things and John Hughes films:

And that idea led to what would become the album art for The Upside Sound, Adam Robot and White Jon's counterpoint to my 2016 mix:


No Apple Music playlist because Adam Robot "doesn't have iTunes."

alternate download link

The Vinyl Deletion

Previously on Adam Riff™:
The Top 10 Fight Scenes of 2016

And now, the talent portion of Adam Riff™'s 2016 retrospective festivities.

I am chuffed to present My Super Sweet '16, a gallimaufry of audio things 2016:

At 1:56:12, it is the longest mix I have ever produced.

I wanted to feature music of the youth – 21 Savage, D.R.A.M., Lil Uzi Vert, Lil Yachty, YG, Young Thug, Travis Scott, et al. – but then I listened to it and [ehhh] didn't love it.

  1. White Friends "Fresh Off the Boat"
  2. Come Down Anderson .Paak
  3. Never Be Like You (feat. Kai) Flume
  4. Carol Simples "Lady Dynamite"
  5. Sleep in the Heat PUP
  6. We (feat. CeeLo Green) MAC MILLER
  7. I Know All What I Do Jack Garratt
  8. Two Turnips in Heat "Trailer Park Boys"
  9. Another Time NxWorries
  10. Your Best American Girl Mitski
  11. Mia & Sebastian's Theme [from "La La Land"] Justin Hurwitz
  12. Jonah Ryan "Veep"
  13. Ultralight Beam Kanye West
  14. Settle the Scar The Hotelier
  15. Mercy Shawn Mendes
  16. Annihilation "Mr. Robot"
  17. A.H.B. S U R V I V E
  18. No Witnesses Keaton Henson
  19. Dapper (feat. Anderson .Paak) Domo Genesis
  20. Weight in Gold Gallant
  21. Things in My Jeep (feat. Nas) "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping"
  22. Lose It SWMRS
  23. Devil Is Fine Zeal and Ardor
  24. A Better Way [from "Swiss Army Man"] Andy Hull and Robert McDowell
  25. Nazi Punks, Fuck Off [from "Green Room"] The Ain't Rights
  26. CCH Pounder "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"
  27. I Feel It Coming (feat. Daft Punk) The Weeknd
  28. 4r Da Squaw Isaiah Rashad
  29. Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales Car Seat Headrest
  30. Harrison Booth "Atlanta"
  31. Empty Kevin Abstract
  32. GLOWED UP (feat. Anderson .Paak) KAYTRANADA
  33. St. Paul's (Westerberg Comprehensive) Martha
  34. George Michael "Keanu"
  35. Angels (feat. Saba) Chance the Rapper
  36. Hard Style Diarrhea Planet
  37. Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant) Bo Burnham
  38. Yesterday Noname

No Spotify or Apple Music playlist because a fourth of this mix is unavailable elsewhere.

alternate download link

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

2. Quantum Leap (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E01)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "God is a ludicrous fiction, dreamt up by inadequates who abdicate all responsibility to an invisible magic friend." (Sherlock, S04E01)
  • "I delete any text that begins 'hi.'" (Sherlock, S04E01)
  • Watson's crying (Sherlock, S04E01)
  • "I can handle my 'Quil." (The Mick, S01E01)
  • "Humor trumps violence." (The Mick, S01E01)
  • "Well, clearly, you didn't do it right. Did you remember to laugh at his tiny penis? That part's pretty important." (The Mick, S01E01)

(WWE Raw, 01-02-17)

  • How many times can Marshawn Lynch pronounce a Spanish double L? (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Oh, it was better than fine. It was Laos." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "What are you miming there, sir?"
    "A child tying his tie. I'm trying to do a simple half-Windsor so she knows I'm a baby." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Sussudio demands vinyl." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Remember how furious you got that time your sister ended an e-mail with 'thx' instead of 'thanks'?"
    "Why would you bring that up?" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Ugh. Terry hates hospitals. They reek of death."
    [elderly woman clears throat]
    "Oh, not you, ma'am. You reek of life." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Oh. It's just my former lover. Hello, sister." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S04E11/12)
  • "Only men have secret families." (New Girl, S06E11)
  • "If I don't have my taste, then what's real? Are cargo shorts gorgeous? Was I wrong about rubber awareness bracelets? Should I grow a goatee?" (New Girl, S06E11)
  • "I like the colonel very much. When I was a little girl, he came to my village in Guatemala and built the hospital, and then he brought me and my mother back to the States."
    "And you've been trapped here ever since? Ugh. You're like a veal." (The Mick, S01E02)
  • "Very cool that we both have rash stories." (The Mick, S01E02)
  • "Pam said that kids looking at online porn is an epidemic."
    "Like Cross Colours?" (Black-ish, S03E11)
  • "Someone's tweeting as my butt, Dre." (Black-ish, S03E11)
  • "It's Old Black Man's night to pick the movie." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E01)
  • "Oh, right, that's the lesson we have to learn – that black people will ruin your credit." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E01)
  • "I'm gonna say the N woooorrrrd!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S21E01)
  • "We're church blacks!" (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E01)
  • "What are the rules?"
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't, don't…"
    "I'm sick of that one." (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S12E01)
  • ♫: Caveman – "Never Going Back" (Man Seeking Woman, S03E01)
  • "What's this show called again?"
    "It's Deirdre and Margaret. It ran for 16 years on the BBC. They did nearly 30 episodes." (The Good Place, S01E10)
  • ♫: *NSYNC – "Digital Get Down" (The Good Place, S01E10)
  • Run the Jewels (Portlandia, S07E01)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


Eater's Digest: 31 Flavours

Man, I consume a lot of ice cream.


Tico Time Ice Cream (Ice and Vice)
pink guava, chili lime plantain chips
—Guava and plantain chips – who knew?

Splinters Ice Cream (Ice and Vice)
smoked whiskey barrel wood ice cream, cracker jack brittle
—A 21+ flavour. I had to show identification to order it, despite not tasting any alcohol. The house-made Cracker Jack brittle is [Italian chef kiss].

(Ice and Vice)'s winter 2016-17 series is…something. From best to worst:

Thai-Phoon Sorbet (Ice and Vice)
thai tea, mango, sumac jaggery
—Tea is an underappreciated ice cream flavour.

On the Rocks Ice Cream (Ice and Vice)
persian black lime, cola, cherry pop rocks
—Pop rocks and Coke with lime.

Photo Bomb Ice Cream (Ice and Vice)
chlorophyll, citron marmalade
Chlorophyll ice cream? Chlorophyll ice cream.

Colt .45 Ice Cream (Ice and Vice)
toasted barley, chicory root, spiced molé
—Yecchh! One of the least palatable ice creams I have ever tried.

Mexican Neapolitan Paleta (La Newyorkina)
—Oaxacan chocolate, Mexican vanilla, and local strawberry.

(La Newyorkina) specialises in artisanal paletas.

Chamoy-Filled Mango Paleta (La Newyorkina)
—Like a chamoyada on a stick.

The Red Hook Paleta (La Newyorkina)
—Stumptown coffee ice cream with chunks of chocolate chip cookie dough. Scrumptious.

(Superiority Burger) pairs an ever-changing gelato with an ever-changing sorbet as a dessert item.

Milk Toast Gelato / Yellow Peach Sorbet (Superiority Burger)
—The pairing when I visited. Peaches and cream and bread.

Chocolate Chip Passion Fruit Soft Serve (Milk Bar)

Cranberry Limeade Soft Serve (Milk Bar)

I don't love Milk Bar, but its soft serve is on point.


They Scoop Gilmores, Don't They? Ice Cream (Ample Hills Creamery)
coffee chocolate pudding ice cream, snickerdoodles topped with pink sprinkles
—A Gilmore Girls-inspired flavour. I could not detect any snickerdoodles in my scoop.

Cranberry Gin Fizz Sorbet (Ample Hills Creamery)
cranberry purée, lime, gin

Ants on a Log Sorbet (OddFellows Ice Cream Co.)
Celery sorbet with peanut butter and raisins. Nope!

Miso Cherry Ice Cream (OddFellows Ice Cream Co.)
Saffron Passion Fruit Ice Cream (OddFellows Ice Cream Co.)
—Selections from an Asia-inspired series.


Bone Marrow Ice Cream with Bourbon Smoked Cherries (Salt and Straw)
—Didn't taste like anything.

Peanut Butter Ritz Apple Pie Ice Cream (Salt and Straw)
—All I tasted was peanut butter.

Raspberry Nutella Ice Cream (Gresescent)
—Disappointingly anemic on both fronts.

Lemon Bar Ice Cream (Gresescent)
lemon-infused ice cream, freshly-baked lemon bar cookie bits
—The best lemon ice cream I have ever tried.

Blackberry Mint Mojito Ice Cream (Gresescent)


Ham Solo Ice Cream (Little Giant Ice Cream)
Honey-baked ham ice cream. It tasted just like honey-baked ham.

Green Bean Casserole Ice Cream (Little Giant Ice Cream)
fresh green beans, sautéed button mushroom base, french fried onion inclusion

Asparagus Ice Cream (Little Giant Ice Cream)

Mango Mezcal Sorbet (Little Giant Ice Cream)

Hard Apple Cider Sorbet (Little Giant Ice Cream)
—Delectably refreshing, if barely hard.

Buttermilk Cranberry Swirl Ice Cream (Little Giant Ice Cream)
—Too much buttermilk ice cream, not enough cranberry jam.

Ugly Sweater Ice Cream (Little Giant Ice Cream)
jameson whiskey ice cream, pineapple compote, cranberry sauce, holiday m&ms
—Waaaay too much Jameson in its Jameson base. The taste of whiskey overwhelmed everything else.


PB&J Ice Cream Pie (Tartine Manufactory)
fior di latte, concord grape sorbet, grape pâte de fruit, candied peanuts, peanut cookie crust
—Deceptively hefty. It needed more grape pâte de fruit or some peanut butter to break up its shit ton of grape cream soft serve filling.

Thank You for Being a Friend Ice Cream (Humphry Slocombe)
dark chocolate cheesecake ice cream, amarena cherries, house-made graham crackers
—A Golden Girls-inspired flavour.


Lon Kruger and I liked it

Previously on Adam Riff™:

Q: Rank the following 2016 film adaptations of video games by projected final domestic box office, from largest to smallest: Ratchet and Clank, Angry Birds, Warcraft, Assassin's Creed.

As of January 3, 2017:

$$$$ The Angry Birds Movie $107,509,366
$$$ Warcraft $47,225,655
$$ Assassin's Creed $43,883,438
$ Ratchet and Clank $8,821,329

[pops champagne]


No (no) sleep (sleep) 'til Busan.

How was I unaware of this film until now?

You know, Moonlight is about two dudes too…

Plot Summary
Seung-woo through his friend Jae-hyun becomes a "host," or a male gigolo who serves women, to make ends meet. Jae-hyun is a chronic con artist who lies and cheats women to get money. Trouble brews when Seung-woo starts dating one of his customers and Jae-hyun's scams catch up with him.

The Midnight Cowboy of Seoul.

Q: What is the hottest television programme in South Korea right now?


The Moonlight (TV series) of Seoul.

Nobody speak, nobody get choked

What's leaving America in January 2017:
Lena Dunham
Chelsea Handler
Amy Schumer

Marines are the vegans of the military.

I switched the clock on my phone to military time in October to be more cultured, and realized in December that I sometimes misread time on my phone between 14:00 and 19:59 because the 12-hour clock on my computer is set to Eastern time, and local time is Pacific. My mind is conditioned to subtract three hours from time, so, for example, I see "16:00" and think "6 – 3 = 3:00 p.m."

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

Year eight.

1. Darius Rucker performance (Top Chef, S14E05)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • "Chinese food? What?" (Cutthroat Kitchen, S14E06)

Still the AR™TV World Drama Champion: Stranger Things
Still the AR™TV World Comedy Champion: Atlanta


Looking forward:

Nirvanna the Band the Show is a celebration of popular culture, social absurdity, and friendship that blends fictional stories with real-world interactions. I have seen three episodes and am very high on it.