Wish You Were Beer


Why didn't anyone tell me about this?


Pepe: Have you seen The Purge?
Jon: Yes.
Pepe: I just met with the company that produced it.
Jon: Oh, [redacted].
Pepe: Yes. They want me to write an immigration-related horror film inspired by my life.
Jon: Erm…
Pepe: I need your help brainstorming pitches. As you know, I don't like horror films.
Jon: Right.
Pepe: The last one I saw was… Is The Blair Witch Project horror?
Jon: Yes.

Jon: Remember when you visited that border town in Texas to cover the Central American refugee children crisis, unaware of how difficult it is for an undocumented immigrant to leave a border town in Texas, with border protection agents at airport security and border protection traffic checkpoints set up within a 45-mile radius?
Jon: That, plus late one night, a drunk militiaman harasses you, you two tussle, and you accidentally kill him, triggering a manhunt for you.
Jon: Escape from McAllen.
Jon: Children of Men × Judgment Night, with a little Running Scared mentalness mixed in.

Steven: I want an old-school serial killer film that focuses on gays.
Steven: Like an updated Cruising.
Jon: What does that have to do with immigration?
Jon: Well, undocuqueers…
Jon: A white, Trump-supporting, self-hating gay homophobe murders undocuqueers after having sex with them as the bottom.


Immigration Game is set in an alternate 2016. Germany refuses to receive any more refugees. The only way to obtain a residence permit is to participate in the popular Internet and television show 'Immigration Game.' Whoever participates as a "Runner" in 'Immigration Game' will be abandoned on the outskirts of Berlin and must make their way to the television tower at Alexanderplatz. For prize money every German citizen may chase and eventually kill the refugees entirely unpunished.


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