Annotated Live-Thog: Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Flamethrowers are underrated.

There's beginning a film in medias res, and then there's beginning a film with a main character turning face. Dare I say The Force Awakens could've used a prequel. Episode VII: New Order. Episode VIII: The Force Awakens.

Insta-bread.

Poe Dameron is a clunky name. His surname should be two syllables long – Poe Jackson. Poe Burnham.

Evidently, stormtroopers wear cargo pants under their armour.

Jon Wilcox: http://news.toyark.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2015/06/Star-Wars-Force-Awakens-Stormtrooper-Black-Series-004.jpg
Jon Wilcox: https://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/ItlT-SO5e06E0KFOn4IbKGhYWSE=/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/4178078/Star-Wars-The-Force-Awakens-Picture-John-Boyega-Daisy-Ridley.0.jpg
Jon Wilcox: where did his white boots/shoes go?
Jon Wilcox: or is the white just some kind of covering over weird velcro shoes
Jon Wilcox: also this is different
Jon Wilcox: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81Vw%2BJLjIOL._SL1500_.jpg

Steven: how the hell they don't use clones is beyond me
Jon: practical effects

"That's miiiiine!!!"

^ That's Simon Pegg


A Star Trek Into Darkness snap zoom


Holy 3D!

"Droid, please"?

Finn's dialogue feels incongruous. I half-expected a Jesse Pinkman "Yeah, bitch!"

Finn is Jesse Pinkman, Han is Walter White, and…. KYLO FLYNN!

You cast the stars of The Raid/The Raid 2 as redshirts?!

^ Kanjiklub

I hope Donnie Yen is used better in Rogue One.

Thanos adjace.

Oh, it's a hologram.

If you've seen A New Hope, then The Force Awakens spoils itself. Same beats.

As soon as I learned that Han Solo is Kylo Ren's father, I knew that Han Solo was gonna die, and the amount of screen time that Harrison Ford received confirmed it. He's Episode VII's Obi-Wan Kenobi analogue.

I look forward to seeing ghost Han Solo, ghost Luke Skywalker, and ghost Kylo Ren at the end of Episode IX.

Is her name Rey or Reia? Asian Leia, heh.

Did they convert a planet into a Death Star or terraform a Death Star? Starkiller Ski Resort and Base.

Kyle: It's crazy to me that Finn has a big fight with an anonymous stormtrooper. Why is that not Phasma???

Venom C-3P0.

If the First Order has all but one section of the map, why not comb the missing section for Luke Skywalker?

Kylo Ren = "Break Stuff"
BB-8 = "Rollin'"
Finn = "Nookie"

Greg Grunberg is J.J. Abrams' Hector Elizondo.

Hey, Ken Leung!

Maz Kanata/Captain Phasma: Why motion-capture Lupita Nyong'o or suit up Gwendoline Christie to play a nothing character? At least Kylo Ren removes his helmet.

Daniel Craig plays the stormtrooper whose mind Rey tricks.

Oh, now R2-D2 awakens.

This trek up the island might outlast the Energizer.

Judah Friedlander was in the bar?

"BB-8 Voice Consultants: Bill Hader and Ben Schwartz" – Jean-Ralphio!

A version of this film in which Rey doesn't encounter BB-8, the TIE fighter that Poe and Finn nick doesn't crash, Poe retrieves BB-8, the Resistance finds Luke, and Luke is again the lead of the series. Daisy Ridley was a red herring.


Why is this Kylo Ren hoodie only for kids?


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