What does a rancher have to be so jolly about?

Previously on Adam Riff™:
I run outside every day, a 90-minute route around my neighbourhood.


As my bladder is not what it used to be, I frequently have to pee during runs. Fortunately, I live in an area where homes are constantly changing owners, so porta-potties for remodelers constantly pop up outside homes.

While I generally slink in and out of strangers' porta-potties with no issue, I have been caught empty-bladdered a few times.

One time, at night, I bounded out of a porta-potty beside a home's side gate as its female owner pulled into the driveway, and I think I scared her, because the next day, the porta-potty was gone.

Another time, I exited a porta-potty beside a home's side gate as the couple who owned the home were walking up the driveway. Panicked at seeing them, I blew past the female owner as she tried to grab my left arm and continued on my route. 10 minutes later, while running through a different region of my neighbourhood, I heard a woman shouting in my direction. The couple was following me in their car. Not sure what to do, I acted like they didn't exist and just kept running. Eventually, they relented.

Which brings me to today.

I reach the final porta-potty currently on my route (one beside a home's side gate), debate whether or not to pee, and decide to be safe than sorry.

So I pee, like, two fingers, and as I'm about to exit, I hear a father and daughter outside the door.

Shit.

What do I do? If I exit right now, I might scare them, and I'll definitely raise questions.

Just explain that you really needed to pee and couldn't hold it in any longer. The father will understand.

Will he, though?

You just had to be safe, didn't you, Jon?

By the time I had worked up enough courage to exit and explain myself, the pee explanation no longer worked.

He'll wonder why I was in the porta-potty for so long if I was just peeing. Will he understand me pooing outside his home?

Well, the only other option is to wait them out.

It's dusk. How long could they be outside for?

I end up standing still inside the porta-potty for 30 minutes.

Rory: Maybe don't use porta-potties beside side gates anymore.

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