Drip Drop Drip Drippity Drop

I can't stop watching the man in the red shirt behind Bruno Mars.

The only ESPN network that you can watch at my gym is ESPNU, and I don't understand. Wouldn't a budget television package include just ESPN and not ESPNU? Normally, you pay more for ancillary networks.

You know how championship shirts/gear for sports championship losers is distributed to people in need in other countries? Do you think there are people in said countries who believe a bizarro history of American sports? Like, as far they know, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning have the same number of rings, the Red Sox are still cursed, and Butler won back-to-back March Madnesses.

"I don't like any type of music except country" – do people claim this?

Soon, Columbia House will be able to offer 10 CDs for 1¢ with no strings attached.

Instead of incarceration, we should figure out a way to cleanly induce permanent back pain as punishment for crimes. Lower back pain for misdemeanors, full back pain for lesser felonies.

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