3. Fifty Shades of Grey (Togetherness, S01E01)
- A bloke with stretched cheeks brushes his teeth (Bodyshockers, S02E02)
- Nancy Grace battles 2 Chainz over pot (Nancy Grace, 02-13-15)
- Star Trek transporter (The Eric Andre Show, S03E09)
- Sia – "Elastic Heart" (Saturday Night Live, S40E11)
- "I brought these. Nutrition bricks. I have, um, original no flavour and…whole wheat no flavour." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E13)
- "Wash my dogs, and be warned, they just watched Peabody and Sherman, so they're extra horny." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E13)
"We're like Batman and Alfred."
"You'd rather be Alfred than Robin?"
"He has access to the Batcave. Plus, he gets to drive all of Batman's girlfriends home and dish." (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S02E13)
- "I have no idea what a cucumber is." (Worst Cooks in America, S06E02)
- "You know Norman Reedus?" (Girls, S04E01)
- "Hard to hate a guy who gives you raisins." (Bob's Burgers, S05E09)
- "I am never going back to the pit, unless the pit is a cool diner where teens hang out." (Bob's Burgers, S05E09)
Painting of Scott Bakula (Looking, S02E01)
"Agustín made a new friend too."
"Yeah, I did. He's cute. A big bear who cares about trans and has a house in Virginia."
"Oh, I've always wanted to visit the South."
"Heh. A 'house in Virginia' – HIV positive." (Looking, S02E01)
- "If anybody wants to hang, I will be at Subway." (Parks and Recreation, S07E01)
(Parks and Recreation, S07E01)
- Werner Herzog! (Parks and Recreation, S07E01)
- "After 47 years living here, I decided to move to Orlando to be closer to Disney World." (Parks and Recreation, S07E01)
- "Everyone's in a really great mood now because of the Cubs winning in the Series." (Parks and Recreation, S07E02)
- "This is why they call it Beantown, huh?" (Parks and Recreation, S07E02)
- "It turns out the crotch blinder was inside you all along." (Parks and Recreation, S07E02)
- "I like my stomach like I like my suits – no lining." (New Girl, S04E13)
"I confiscated this satellite phone with a condom taped to it."
"My earthquake kit?" (New Girl, S04E13)
"A water bottle with the top cut off."
"That's a cup."
"That is just a cup." (New Girl, S04E13)
- Why did Antonia Lofaso replace Waylynn Lucas? (Restaurant Startup, S02E01)
- Fellatio bib (Empire, S01E02)
- "Shut up, Dora." (Empire, S01E02)
- "You gon' Ray Rice me?" (Empire, S01E02)
- "I asked for capers on the damn bagel!" (Empire, S01E02)
- "Come on, Barack, you know you don't have to use that kind of languag— [Obama hangs up on Lucious]" (Empire, S01E02)
- "First off, I have to commend your son, Hakeem Lyon, who recently accused President Obama of being a sellout." (Empire, S01E02)
"Every time I intubate a patient, I am reminded of how far we've come because of the accomplishments of 'Dr.' King."
"Did you just air quote Dr. King?"
"No… I am a medical doctor because of 'Dr.' King."
"Are you hating on Dr. King?"
"No, he is a great man, Dre! He has a Nobel Peace Prize, okay? I do not have one! But if you were to have a heart attack, he would give a great speech, and I would keep you alive." (Black-ish, S01E12)
- Another Asylum character tie-in (American Horror Story, S04E12)
"You're a regular Gabriel Iglesias."
"Iiiii wouldn't say that. Fluffy's very talented." (Workaholics, S05E01)
"Get that pecker out, buddy."
"Okay, I can't. I'm sorry. It's like… It's very small, all right? It's like the, you know, the plastic thing at the end of a shoelace." (Workaholics, S05E01)
- "Every gash is somebody's daughter." (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
- "He did a monologue from Precious, which isn't even in the karaoke book." (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
- "Uh ohhhh! There's a Jew at Hitler's party." (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
- "When I was in Austria, back in the era, I would say 'That one,' and my bodyguards, they would take her, and they would put her in my bed. They would burn the house down. That was my Tinder." (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
"Don't you still love me?"
"I'm better than Hitler!" (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
- "I'm sorry, Hitler." (Man Seeking Woman, S01E01)
"Isn't Argentina our ally?"
"You'd think, right, after we threw them that lovely coup?" (Archer, S06E02)
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I'm Archerizing this plan."
"What? No, no. Uh-uh. You cannot make yourself a verb. I will not allow it." (Archer, S06E02)
"Thanks, Mr. Bearjangles." (Archer, S06E02)
- Justin Long! (Portlandia, S05E02)
- Changing up the opening credits (Banshee, S03E02)
"What if he calls it off?"
"As Coldplay would say, don't panic. My boy Scott can, as Coldplay would say, talk his way out of anything." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E02)
- "You better stop making like Coldplay by creating trouble and get back to work." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E02)
- Twin Shadow! (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E02)
"It kind of sounds a little bit like a bong."
"UC Santa Cruz." (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E02)
- Maya Rudolph corpsing at the end of the Claire Coulter interview (Comedy Bang! Bang!, S04E02)
- Andy Samberg refusing to whip out his junk because he's doing better than Eric Andre (The Eric Andre Show, S03E09)
(The Eric Andre Show, S03E09)
- Kevin Hart sure likes leather clothing (Saturday Night Live, S40E11)