Tell 'em we don't die, we multiply

I asked B's seven-year-old daughter what she wants for Christmas.

—Dinner at Gary Danko.

[spit-take]

—You're too young to eat there.
—Noo, I ate at Plumed Horse…

—You bring your children to Michelin-starred restaurants?


At supermarkets in my area, you can buy pre-packed bags of non-perishable goods to drop in donation bins. It's perverse altruism, like corporations buying carbon offsets.


[pause]

"California Lottery Scratchers make the perfect holiday gift."

But what if the scratchers you give don't yield any money?

Are there special holiday scratchers where everyone is a winner? And if so, most prizes can't possibly be very much – medium fries, maybe a breakfast sandwich.

Simply go to your nearest Lottery retailer, pick up a Golden Greeting envelope along with your Lottery gift purchase… [source]

Just regular scratchers. Trick or treat.

B: You're giving fun. The gift is fun. Winning money is a bonus.
Jon: Fun…

Jon: Would you rather receive scratchers, or a word search and some cash?


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