ESPN owns 11 bowl games, and Disney owns ESPN. Why doesn't Disney sponsor some of its bowls?
The Age of Ultron Bowl. The Tomorrowland Bowl.
World premiere footage throughout the telecast. Pimp your studio's films while boosting your network's ratings.
Shame that Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens a week before Christmas, and not on Christmas Day, as I'm curious how a Star Wars Christmas Day release would affect attendance for Christmas Eve/Day church services.
Hundreds of devotees congregate at midnight on Christmas Day to celebrate the emergence of something otherworldly a long time ago – Force or Mass?
1. Unhung Hero
3. WWE Raw
4. The Midnight Beast
5. Bob's Burgers
6. New Girl
7. True Detective
12. Rick and Morty
15. WWE Raw
16. Game of Thrones
22. Mad Men
23. Silicon Valley
25. Game of Thrones
27. Nathan For You
28. Nathan For You
30. Utopia [UK]
31. The Leftovers
32. The Strain
33. Utopia [UK]
34. Nathan For You
35. Wizard Wars
36. You're the Worst
37. Wizard Wars
38. The Bridge
39. The Knick
40. The Simpsons
41. Late Show with David Letterman
42. The Amazing Race
43. Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories
44. "Too Many Cooks"
45. South Park
46. Friends of the People
47. South Park
48. The Amazing Race
49. The Eric Andre Show
51. The Eric Andre Show
52. Perhaps the greatest college football play any of us have ever seen (Popeyes Bahamas Bowl, 12-24-14)
(Mozart in the Jungle, S01E01)
Top Five Television Episodes of 2014
5. "The Endorsement" (Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories, S01E06)
4. "Souvenir Shop / E.L.A.I.F.F." (Nathan For You, S02E02)
3. "Dumb Starbucks" (Nathan For You, S02E05)
2. "Looking for the Future" (Looking, S01E05)
1. "Mizumono" (Hannibal, S02E13)
Top Ten Television Programmes of 2014
9. Game of Thrones
7. Utopia [UK]
4. Rick and Morty
3. The Eric Andre Show
2. Nathan For You
2013-14 Season Grades
Note: I did not grade a number of programmes whose seasons I only watched some or most of.
Nathan For You: A-
Rick and Morty: A-
Game of Thrones: B+
Sleepy Hollow: B+
Utopia [UK]: B+
The Americans: B
Boardwalk Empire: B
The Bridge: B
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: B
House of Cards: B
King of the Nerds: B
The Knick: B
Restaurant Startup: B
Shark Tank: B
Tim and Eric's Bedtime Stories: B
American Horror Story: Coven: B-
Bob's Burgers: B-
Going Deep with David Rees: B-
Hello Ladies: The Movie: B-
The Leftovers: B-
Mad Men: B-
Orange Is the New Black: B-
Parks and Recreation: B-
True Detective: B-
Black Mirror: White Christmas: C+
Check It Out! with Dr. Steve Brule: C+
Comedy Bang! Bang!: C+
Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey: C+
Getting On: C+
Halt and Catch Fire: C+
Happy Valley: C+
The Honourable Woman: C+
In the Flesh: C+
Loiter Squad: C+
Masters of Sex: C+
Orphan Black: C+
Penny Dreadful: C+
Silicon Valley: C+
South Park: C+
The Strain: C+
Trailer Park Boys: C+
Wizard Wars: C+
The Amazing Race 25: C
Bates Motel: C
Black Jesus: C
Face Off 6: C
Face Off 7: C
MasterChef Canada: C
MasterChef Junior: C
Modern Family: C
Mozart in the Jungle: C
Mr. Pickles: C
Saturday Night Live: C
The Taste: C
The Taste UK: C
Top Chef: New Orleans: C
Top Chef Canada: C
The Walking Dead: C
Bad Education: C-
The Driver: C-
Friday Night Dinner: C-
The League: C-
Key and Peele: C-
New Girl: C-
Peaky Blinders: C-
Sons of Anarchy: C-
The Trip to Italy: C-
Broad City: D+
From Dusk Till Dawn: D+
The Amazing Race 24: D
So 97 + Friends of the People, which ends on Tuesday.
'Tis some fights before Christmas to watch in your house.
10. Wallace vs. Howard Howe (Tusk)
Kevin Smith [director] — All right, so here's the third act. He then goes and puts on his suit, you know, made of human skins, and so you realize he's done this before. So he's in it, you're in yours, and you guys have to have one of them walrus fights, like on the beach, where you slam each other.
9. Edwards vs. Bar Patron (The Knick)
Shot in part with a rig on Andre Holland's back.
8. May vs. May (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Dat head smash!
7. Go Geon-soo vs. Park Chang-min (A Hard Day)
No one does visceral brutality like Koreans.
6. Schmidt vs. Mercedes (22 Jump Street)
Lord and Miller [directors] — The scene was supposed to be them having a big, knock-out fist fight. And then, it's like weird and scary in a movie to see a man hit a woman, and could a woman provoke a man enough to where it might not seem so weird. After a couple of takes, their chemistry was so strong, we just said, well, what if you tried to kiss him? What you see in the movie is basically what happened after we said that. They improvised this whole, crazy kiss fight.
5. The Mountain vs. The Viper (Game of Thrones)
The best fight ending of 2014.
4. K-29 vs. Crazy Monkey (The Wrath of Vajra)
Crazy Monkey is played by famed Korean street dancer Poppin' Hyun Joon. A lot of this fight looks like wire work, but most of it was done in camera – no tricks.
3. Jack Crawford vs. Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)
Bryan Fuller [showrunner] — After we finished the fight sequence with Hannibal and Tobias Budge, Laurence Fishburne came up to me and said, "You know, I trained like crazy for all the fight sequences in the Matrix movies. I'm pretty good at those too." So we honoured that request.
2. Ha Hou-mou vs. Fung Yu-sau (Kung Fu Jungle)
Smash Bros. x Toad's Turnpike.
1. Rama vs. The Assassin (The Raid 2)
While the ending of Whiplash is the most thrilling bit of film I saw this year, the second half of this fight – after The Assassin busts out his karambits – is 1A.
What has two thumbs and was retweeted by Ryan Phillippe and Bow Wow this past weekend?
Juliette Lewis favourited the Phillippe tweet.
I tried playing New Super Mario Bros Wii with B's seven-year-old daughter, but she struggled to use a d-pad, and it hit me that she grew up with touchscreens and motion control.
Idea: Fitbit, but for cursing. Track your profanity usage.
Songs containing car horns (e.g. "i" by Kendrick Lamar) should be banned from radio play. It's discombobulating when you're driving.
My brother only drinks sparkling water now.
LOOK AT THIS FUCKING CAST:
From 2011: Quentin Tarantino reportedly signed on to play a bandit who dies from gold coins fired out of a shotgun.
51. Society's Lies (The Eric Andre Show, S03E07)
(Black Mirror: White Christmas)
(The Eric Andre Show, S03E07)
I asked B's seven-year-old daughter what she wants for Christmas.
—Dinner at Gary Danko.
—You're too young to eat there.
—Noo, I ate at Plumed Horse…
—You bring your children to Michelin-starred restaurants?
At supermarkets in my area, you can buy pre-packed bags of non-perishable goods to drop in donation bins. It's perverse altruism, like corporations buying carbon offsets.
"California Lottery Scratchers make the perfect holiday gift."
But what if the scratchers you give don't yield any money?
Are there special holiday scratchers where everyone is a winner? And if so, most prizes can't possibly be very much – medium fries, maybe a breakfast sandwich.
Simply go to your nearest Lottery retailer, pick up a Golden Greeting envelope along with your Lottery gift purchase… [source]
Just regular scratchers. Trick or treat.
B: You're giving fun. The gift is fun. Winning money is a bonus.
Jon: Would you rather receive scratchers, or a word search and some cash?
A dark reimagining of the Willy Wonka story beginning in World War II and culminating with his takeover of the chocolate factory.
The Black List is an annual survey of Hollywood's "most liked" unproduced screenplays.
I AM RYAN REYNOLDS
An inside look at the marriage, career, and mental state of 2010's Sexiest Man Alive.
I hear nothing but terrible things about office holiday parties, but just once in my life, I would like to attend one.
My current job, the staff is scattered around the country.
Before this job, long-term unemployment.
Before that, I temped at the headquarters of a chain steakhouse, handling seasonal gift card sales. As a temp, I was not invited to the office holiday party. Instead, I ate at Chipotle and saw The King's Speech.
Before that, I worked in a gadget manufacturer's American satellite office. During my tenure, my boss never employed more than three people at once and understandably did not bother with office holiday parties.
Before that, more long-term unemployment.
And before that, office holiday parties for my job in college always conflicted with class. One year, I created foamcore decorations for the party, which I was told were a hit.
Livestrong bracelet, heh.
So yeah. Someday my office holiday party will come.
50. Black people can't be racist (Black-ish, S01E10)
Iggy Azalea (South Park, S18E10)
$2 Holiday Customer Appreciation, $3 Select, $4 Lunch, Simple $6 Menu – how many ways can Subway put lipstick on a six-inch sandwich?
A six-inch sandwich from Subway is barely food. If $5 footlongs aren't sustainable, how about a $5 nine-inch sandwich? 3/4 4 $5!
Rory: The National League is the Big 12 – everyone plays everyone. The American League is the SEC – everyone plays eight instead of nine conference games for a competitive advantage. DHs = FCS teams.
Jon: What happens next year when the Rose Bowl isn't hosting a College Football Playoff semifinal? Does ESPN counterprogram the "grandaddy of them all" with a playoff game? I mean, you can't move the Rose Parade…
Rory: Sandwich the Rose Bowl between the two playoff games.
Jon: Like it's a women's wrestling match?
Rory: Oh. In years when the Rose Bowl doesn't host a semifinal, the semifinal games will be played on December 31.
Jon: I can understand exhibition bowls on New Year's Eve, but playoff games?
Rory: Hey, last year's Chick-fil-A exhibition at 8:00 PM on December 31 drew the highest rating for a non-BCS bowl game on ESPN since 2000.
Jon: Hmmph. So New Year's Eve is Hulk Hogan vs. The Rock, and New Year's Day is Triple H vs. Chris Jericho.
Rory: In years when the Rose Bowl doesn't host a semifinal.
Jon: When the College Football Playoff expands to eight teams, the quarterfinal games should all be played on the first day of the bowl fortnight. Make December 20…Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart.
Jon: WrestleMania X, not SummerSlam 1994.
Rory: Ohhh… So New Year's Eve is…Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon, and New Year's Day is Bret vs. Yokozuna?
Jon: In years when the Rose Bowl doesn't host a semifinal. In years when it does…
Jon: In years when it does, December 20 is SmackDown Money in the Bank, New Year's Eve is Christian vs. Randy Orton, and New Year's Day is CM Punk vs. John Cena.
The fuck is this?
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST. #soafinale
— Adam Riff™ (@adamriffs) December 10, 2014
Rory: Where would you rank Charlie Hunnam's career among Undeclared cast members?
Jon: Hmm… Well, among the main cast, second, behind Seth Rogen.
1. Seth Rogen
2. Charlie Hunnam
3. Jay Baruchel
4. Loudon Wainwright III
5. Carla Gallo
6. Timm Sharp
7. Monica Keena
8. Christina Payano
Jon: Among the extended cast, though… Umm… Fifth?
1. Seth Rogen
2. Kevin Hart
3. Amy Poehler
4. Jason Segel
5. Charlie Hunnam
Jon: Had he not dropped out of 50 Shades of Grey, he would be four and Segel five.
Let's judge this book by its cover:
Hot or not?
Oh it was filmed in Thailand! And the victims are all lesbians!
Allie has to decide fast… stay in this human cesspool and track down the killer, or return home to Detroit.
She chooses the less disturbing and dangerous option.
Bangkok. She chooses to stay in Bangkok.
Obviously people abbreviate and use accepted shorthand when texting, but this is ridiculous. "Sry sum dork naybr" and "no wz awsum, seriosly" are some of the more legible examples.
And while I'm no connoisseur of sexy-time chat-rooms, I find it hard to believe mimes make a habit of hanging out in them. [source]
49. Michael Jackson's "Black Or White" video morphing HANNITIZED (The
Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)
(Getting On, S02E04)
Eric Andre Hannibal Buress Show, S03E05)
Previously on Adam Riff™:
I trekked out to a bakery in northeast Portland, and it had closed early so that the staff could go apple picking, because of course.
nong's khao man gai / pacific pie company / salt and straw / le pigeon / cool moon ice cream / lardo sandwiches / lauretta jean's / bunk sandwiches / veritable quandary / ox / blue star donuts / the people's pig / i heart this cart
Five Chilled Seafood Preparations (Ox)
oregon bay shrimp ceviche, dungeness crab cocktail, octopus poke, scallop salad "dynamite," salmon gravlax tartare
Roasted Brussels Sprouts
"everything" bagel seasoning, chive mascarpone, smoked salmon roe
Avocado and Cantaloupe (Le Pigeon)
fluke, saffron, ginger, chilies
Chicken and Oxtail (Le Pigeon)
semolina gnocchi, taleggio, green beans, tomato crema
Foie Gras Profiterole[s] (Le Pigeon)
caramel sauce, sea salt
Apple Sour Cream Streusel Pie (Pacific Pie Company)
Khao Man Gai [Chicken and Rice] (Nong's Khao Man Gai)
I saw Nong on Chopped and sought out her food cart. Served in butcher paper, her khao man gai puts Hainanese chicken rice to shame.
I effort to try a chocolate pecan pie in every city I visit.
Chocolate Bourbon Hazelnut Pie (Pacific Pie Company)
Looks like a chocolate pecan pie, tastes like a Ferrero Rocher. I dug it.
Passion Fruit and Cocoa Nib Donut (Blue Star Donuts)
Blueberry Bourbon Basil Donut (Blue Star Donuts)
Foie Gras Terrine (Ox)
pear prosciutto, pickled chanterelles, malted white chocolate, salted pear reduction, croutons
Foie gras and malted white chocolate? I had to try it.
It confirmed my distaste for creamy foie gras. Seared foie gras? Delicious. Creamy foie gras? NOPE.
Pigeon Noodles (Le Pigeon)
parmesan, black pepper, strawberry, turnip
—Not noodles made of pigeon, just a pasta dish. Wish it was better.
[Dracula's] Blood Pudding Ice Cream (Salt and Straw)
It tasted like spumoni.
Salt Cod Sandwich (Bunk)
olympic provisions spanish chorizo, oil cured olives, italian parsley
I'm done with salt cod. Its intriguing name tricks you into ordering a bland and texturally off-putting fish. Won't get fooled again.
Pork Belly Gyro (Lardo)
feta, cucumber, tzatziki, tomato, aardvark sauce
Dirty Fries (Lardo)
pork scraps, marinated peppers, fried herbs, parmesan
Fried Chicken Donut (Blue Star Donuts)
a glazed doughnut topped with a fried chicken breast chunks tossed with honey butter, with a packet of frank's red hot
[sigh] They sold out just as I walked in.
Clam Chowder (Ox)
smoked marrow bone, green onion, jalapeño
Duck Confit Spring Rolls (Veritable Quandary)
wasabi ginger sauce
Chinese Sausage Corn Dog (Expatriate)
hot mustard, xxx death sauce
Hot and Sour Indian Spiced Fries (Expatriate)
cilantro-raita aioli, house curry ketchup, sumac ranch
Expatriate Nacho[s] (Expatriate)
fried wonton chips, thai chili cheese sauce, spicy lemongrass beef, crema, kaffir lime, tomato salsa, herbs
PB and J Fries (Potato Champion)
fries topped with satay sauce and a smokey chipotle raspberry jam
The Wolfpack / U.S.A. (Director: Crystal Moselle) — Six bright teenage brothers have spent their entire lives locked away from society in a Manhattan housing project. All they know of the outside is gleaned from the movies they watch obsessively (and recreate meticulously). Yet as adolescence looms, they dream of escape, ever more urgently, into the beckoning world.
THIS IS A DOCUMENTARY?!?!
Bonded by the extreme circumstances of their childhood — never allowed to leave their tiny family apartment, never allowed to cut their hair, never introduced to the Internet, and almost no contact with the outside world — they became near-mythical characters.
Through their television — loaded with a library of Scorsese and Tarantino — the boys found their biggest moral compass.
Dressed like Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, the over-caffeinated brothers, ranging in age from 13 to 20, eventually display the psychological repercussions of constant reclusion. This culminates in one brother's escape from the family apartment while donning the mask of Halloween's Michael Myers, which results in his admission to a mental hospital. [source]
Welp, looks like I have a most anticipated film of 2015.
Disney's The Breakfast Club
The brain = Marvel/Star Wars
The athlete = ESPN
The basket case = A&E
The princess = ABC Family/Lifetime
The criminal = Maker Studios
Mike Dallas, the multi-layered alphamale and teen dad repeating Grade 12.
Clare Edwards, the strong-willed, intellectual, compassionate, and sometimes sneaky Student Body VP who has beat cancer and is currently pregnant.
Miles Hollingsworth III, a billionaire bad-boy with charisma who was expelled from boarding school for arson who is bisexual.
Maya Matlin, a young cello virtuoso who is trying to move forward in her life after her late boyfriend's suicide.
Zoë Rivas, a former West Drive star with a passion for fashion who uses her looks, charm, and deviousness to get her way while also trying to cope with her recent sexual assault.
UPDATE: Someone catalogued every sexual assault in Degrassi history!
Lucy and Susie were sexually harassed by Mr. Colby at Degrassi Junior High School.
Wheels was almost molested in a car by a random stranger while he was hitchhiking.
Liz was molested by her mother's ex-boyfriend as a young girl.
Emma was held captive in a hotel room by a pedophile and was almost raped.
Paige was raped by Dean at a party.
Darcy was raped by a serial rapist who spiked teenage girls' drinks at a party.
Jane was molested by her father, Carlos Valieri.
K.C. was almost forced to have sex with a hooker hired by Coach Carson against his will as well as had him watching porn.
Connor was almost molested in a car by his internet stalker.
Bianca was forced into sex with Vince on numerous occassions and was almost raped by her ex-boyfriend Anson.
Clare was sexually harassed by her former boss, Asher.
Maya was sexually harassed by Neil following being cyber bullied and slut shamed online.
Zoë was raped by Luke and Neil at a party.
Tristan was statutory raped by Mr. Yates.
Winston was almost groped by Mr. Yates.