I am whiskey, you are marijuana

Pepe: Guess who I ran into today? Jenny E_____. I mentioned you in conversation and her face soured. She was like, "He joked about my father dying of cancer."
Jon: What?

Jon: Okay, while I wouldn't put it past young me to do that, in 13 years of public school together, we barely associated. Why would I have joked about the father of someone whose life I was more or less unconscious of?

Jon: And what could I possibly have said that she's still pissed 14+ years later? "It might be a headache"? Cancer humour is not a strength of mine. AIDS, sure, but not cancer.

Jon: My lasting memory of Jenny E_____ is her repulsion when, during a rainy day lunch period in, like, fifth grade, I drew dicks on sheets of paper and then beheaded them with a paper cutter, mistakenly thinking I was circumcising them.

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