His sex appeal is only his athleticism

"Demo"

Okay, 1. It's 2014. Why are you still handing out CDs? Just share your music on the Internet!, and 2. How can you expect me to give you money for a CD that I didn't ask for?

After declining to give him money, what if I hadn't relinquished the CD-R that he handed me? What if I just ran off with it? Would he chase me down?


"Recreation"

How is this elderly woman swimming so fast?

Oh. She's wearing fins. Bah! Swimming laps with fins on is like running on a moving walkway.

Look at this bloke wearing a snorkel in a lap pool.


"Dysmorphophobia"

I step out of a hotel room shower and notice something on my left butt cheek in the opposing mirror.

Is that a mole?

I visit a dermatologist as soon as possible.

He says it's a benign tumour – a dermatofibroma.

How do I remove it?

Well, it can only be removed surgically, and surgery will leave a scar. Do you want a scarred ass, Jon?

No, but… So what, I just…


"Skittles"

Walking toward Uncle 7 of 8's house in a guarded neighbourhood in Taipei, I see a Hispanic dude wearing a backpack walking toward me and gawk, as do a nanny and girl entering an apartment building.

We are all Mark Cuban.

Idea: A documentary on black people who live in Asia.

One thought on "His sex appeal is only his athleticism"

  1. A man aggressively forced a CD into my hand in Times Square a number of years ago, when I handed it back to him and refused to pay him for it he threatened to rob me, making the argument that I should be glad all he was doing was making me buy a CD. I walked away. But yeah, didn't quite understand his point of view either.

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