4. "If You Were A Black Guy" (The Midnight Beast, S02E01)
Honourable Mention
- Mr. Meeseeks try to take two strokes off Jerry's golf game (Rick and Morty, S01E05)
- Bake-off (New Girl, S03E13)
- Boyd shows off his tattoos (Justified, S05E03)
- The new chard stand (Parks and Recreation, S06E12)
- Billy Joel (The Greatest Event in Television History, E04)
- Inside SoCal (Saturday Night Live, S39E12)
Stray Observations
- Music: "You Better Run" – Dr. C.J. Johnson (True Detective, S01E02)
- "The hubris it must take to yank a soul out of non-existence into this…meat, and to force a life into this…thresher. Yeah, so my daughter, she, uh…she spared me the sin of being a father." (True Detective, S01E02)
- "Back then, the visions, most of the time, I was convinced that I'd lost it. But there were other times, I thought I was mainlining the secret truth of the universe." (True Detective, S01E02)
- Three cast members of Greek (Shameless, S04E02)
- "My father only screwed a Mexican whore while he was with my mom, and they can't get pregnant." (Shameless, S04E02)
-
"You're a freshman."
"Yeah, but I fuck like a sophomore." (Shameless, S04E02) -
"She wants me to abort my baby!"
"Over my dead sperm…" (Shameless, S04E02)
Gaby Hoffman's bush (Girls, S03E03)
- I dig the naturalistic tone (Looking, S01E01)
-
"Really? A winking smiley face?"
"What's wrong with that?"
"What are you, a Japanese teenager?"
"I– What?!"
"Look, I was a Japanese teenager. I didn't even use a winking smiley face." (Looking, S01E01) - "With Asian parents, you have three options: doctor, engineer, or get beaten." (MasterChef Canada, S01E01)
- Brock Lesnar trips over monitor, hurls it into ring (WWE Raw, 01-20-14)
- "Zombie George Washington?" (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12)
-
"Remarkable stitching. An old flame of mine was a seamstress. She'd be most impressed."
"Who'd you date? Betsy Ross?"
"…How did you know that?" (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12) - Alien John Cho (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12)
- "Prophecies have a nasty way of fulfilling themselves, if you let them." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12)
- "Does an alderman have an unwarranted self-regard?" (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12)
- "You and I will choose our own destiny. We have free will. I choose to forge my fate with you." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E12)
-
"So does this mean we can finally give away that ratty coat?"
"Please… And risk it be worn ironically by purveyors of artisanal marmalade who discovered it at a local thrift shop? I thank you, no. For judge a man not by the wear of what he wears, but by the where and how he wears it." (Sleepy Hollow, S01E13) - Diagetic piano gag (Sleepy Hollow, S01E13)
- Sleepy Hollow Season Grade: B+
Pam eating a cocaine cast (Archer, S05E02)
- "She's all…coke-strong." (Archer, S05E02)
-
"Oh my God, Lana, Lana, you know what I could totally go for right now?"
"Some cocaine?" (Archer, S05E02) - "Hi, I'm Mr. Booby Buyer." (Rick and Morty, S01E05)
- "That's my new thing. I'm kinda like, what's his name, Arsenio." (Rick and Morty, S01E05)
- "DiversWithTitsEatingShit.org." (Chozen, S01E02)
- Skin-colour-matching KKK hoods/robes (Chozen, S01E02)
- "I'll be your rock – the Dwayne Johnson kind." (Chozen, S01E02)
- "This is a classy tipi!" (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, S01E14)
-
"Do you know any, like, time-consuming and free activities in Griffith Park?"
"Gross! …Suicide?" (New Girl, S03E13) -
"Sure you know how to tap a keg?"
"How hard could it be? It's beer, for crying out loud. It's the drink of idiots." (New Girl, S03E13) - "A lot of people never graduated high school – Einstein, Bill Gates, Anne Frank… I'm gonna take back that last one." (New Girl, S03E13)
- "Pussy is a powerful thing." (Justified, S05E03)
- "Does this restaurant have blow jobs on the menu?" (Justified, S05E03)
- "DJ Ango is…chained." (Workaholics, S04E01)
- "I'm coven guard dog." – cringe! (American Horror Story, S03E12)
- Nigella Lawson is a terrible judge of talent (The Taste, S02E04)
-
"Look, chard is disgusting. You try selling it without sexy dancers. It's impossible. It's like, 'Hey, you like lettuce? Try this, it's worse.' It tastes like kale took a dump on spinach."
"I like to think of it as celery with B.O." (Parks and Recreation, S06E12) - "This is an excellent rectangle!" (Parks and Recreation, S06E12)
- "It wasn't marijuana. It was heirloom tomatoes. [to the tomatoes] I'll see you at tonight's arrabbiata." (Enlisted, S01E03)
-
"Have a seat, buddy. Wait, stand."
"I'll split the difference." (Enlisted, S01E03) - "Shot break! […] Ha! Nobody expects gin!" (Enlisted, S01E03)
- "We're like a yogurt commercial." (Enlisted, S01E03)
- "Jeffrey has a tummy ache!" (Saturday Night Live, S39E12)
- "Great gash mileage." (Saturday Night Live, S39E12)