Jesse Cornell Blues

I can't fall asleep nowadays without feeling like I'm gonna die. At some point every night, while lying in bed, I feel my heart failing and freak out internally.


McKern successfully guilted me into standardly tipping 20%.

20% should be easier to calculate than 12% or 15%, but I increasingly find myself multiplying by hand.

6 times 2 is 12, carry the 1…

As someone who was classically trained in arithmetic (i.e. Kumon), struggling to calculate 20% in my head is mortifying.


While it's the right thing to do, tipping 20% feels like paying a hidden fee. I feel stung by my generosity. When you add tip, an innocuous $82.00 bill balloons to…

0 times 2, 2 plus 6…

To almost $100.00!


In my youth, my mother hired someone to tutor me in using an abacus. In retrospect, why did my mother want me to master use of an abacus in the '90s?

2 Comments

  1. steven 06 Jan 14 at 12:53

    i tip 20 percent standard. just think 2 bucks for every 10.

    Reply
  2. Ryan McKern 12 Jan 14 at 03:44

    MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, YOU CHEAP SHIT.

    Reply

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