God, if you can hear me, crash this train

Jon: Red Sox burrpen.
Jon: Because, you know, Asians.
Ben: [pause]


Previously on Adam Riff™:


That was in 2008, so…"14 years old, 7 parades" today?

We should check in on him every few years, à la the Up Series.

"50 years old, 7 parades." [commits suicide]


Jon: The Sox find a German middle reliever and an Italian set-up man so Farrell can "mobilize the Axis."
Ben: STOP.


After Monday Night Raw goes off the air, top WWE superstars will wrestle in a dark match that the face wins (or faces win), sending the remaining audience home happy.

MLB teams should do something similar. After a loss, star players on the home team hit some balls into the seats – autographed balls, perhaps.


Okay, first crack:
Washington = Leslie Knope
Washington State = Andy Dwyer
Oregon = Tom Haverford
Oregon State = Donna Meagle
Cal = Ben Wyatt
Stanford = Ron Swanson
UCLA = April Ludgate
USC = Jerry Gergich
Utah = Ann Perkins
Colorado = Chris Traeger
Arizona = Jean-Ralphio Saperstein
Arizona State = Mona Lisa Saperstein

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