She can't sing
She can't dance
But who cares
She walks like Rihanna

[pause]

I'm looking for a girl who can sing and/or dance, but I'll make an exception for an untalented one if she has a gait similar to Rihanna's.

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until her no longer being able to walk like Rihanna do us part.

Is this song supposed to be a play on "Moves Like Jagger"? Because unlike Mick Jagger's moves, I can't picture how Rihanna walks. Who pays attention to how non-handicapped people walk? I couldn't tell you how my flatmate walks, let alone feckin' Rihanna.

Walks like Vince McMahon? Gotcha. Rihanna, though… What's notable about how she walks?

She can't sing
She can't dance
But who cares
She's not paraplegic