I am strugg-a-ling with humidity in New York City. I arrived at the office on Friday with a bagel-sized sweat stain on the front of my shirt, looking like Tony Stark – Perspiron Man.

—What have you been doing in New York City, Jon?
—Uhh… Being Tom Hagen to a Corleone.

Jon: How long do you have to live in a city before you can claim that you've lived there? Six months?
Rory: How long is study abroad? That long.
Jon: So…five months? I want to be able to say that I've lived in the America's three largest cities.

1. New York City
2. Los Angeles
3. Chicago

Jon: Hmm… You can legally stay in Canada for six months each year without a visa.

1. Toronto
2. Montreal
3. Vancouver

Jon: New challenge!
Rory: Uhh… Calgary is actually Canada's third largest city.
Jon: Oh? What is Vancouver then?
Rory: Eighth largest, according to Wikipedia, behind Winnipeg and Mississauga.
Jon: Hmmph.

1. Vancouver
2. Surrey
3. Burnaby

Jon: New challenge!

A conversation with my boss:

—Going forward, where do you want to live, Jon?
—Uhh…

VEGAS.

—You've been very accommodating to me, relocating to the east coast and whatnot, and so I will accommodate you wherever you wish to live.

Austin. San Diego. Seattle.

—So where do you want to live?

[pause]

—…New Orleans?

Next time on Adam Riff™: I am strugg-a-ling with humidity in New Orleans.