Previously on Adam Riff™:
Never change, Japan.
How are cage-free eggs better? Just because a hen isn't caged doesn't mean that it isn't being fed the same shit as a caged hen, or managed similarly. And an uncaged hen still exists to serve humans – it's still our slave. Buying cage-free eggs is like paying a hooker instead of raping one.
"Oh you only buy cage-free eggs? Well, I'm not racist because I have a black friend."