New York City's Rooftop Films announced its summer 2013 line-up. It features some films that Adam Riff™ has blindly championed – Awful Nice, The Dirties, The 12 O'Clock Boys – as well as Jord's film, The Kings of Summer.
RE: The Kings of Summer
Aren't they a little old to be running away from home to live in the woods?
I myself have been working on a film that will premiere this June. Should I be listed as Jonathan Yu (III) or Jon Yu (II) on IMDb?
Jram: What's your middle name? Jon: Dong. Jram: Oh. Jon: Jono Yu? Jonah Yu. Nathan Yu. Jram: Nathan (IV) Yu.
I've been in New York City for about four months now, and it still feels like an Inception sub-level. Just waiting for the kick back to the west coast.
I passed a homeless woman today reading a book. If you're begging for money, I feel that you should put some effort into it. Look the part. Inspire me to donate beyond your sign.
Idea: A Survivor season with all homeless contestants. Similar living situation, but on a beach, and with the opportunity to win one million dollars.
Some Survivor fans have long wished for a season set in a cold climate. How about said all homeless one? Producers wouldn't have to fret over clothing covering up attractive bodies.
"What happens when the non-existent bumps against the decrepit? A question for the philosophers." (Game of Thrones, S03E04)
"Never knew Bannon could smell so good." (Game of Thrones, S03E04)
"Congressman Furlong called, and he'd like some face time."
"Okay, well, let's see, I'd rather set fire to my vulva…so, that's a no." (Veep, S02E02)
"Most Jews in this country are fine with pork. 'Pork, shmork,' they often say." (Veep, S02E02)
Old Spanish – 30 Rock reference (Mad Men, S06E04)
Bonding over child molestation (Glee, S04E20)
Alan Yang wrote, directed, and stars in this episode (Parks and Recreation, S05E21)
"Human emotions are a gift from our animal ancestors. Cruelty is a gift humanity has given itself." (Hannibal, S01E05)
How did the killer transform himself into an angel? (Hannibal, S01E05)
"I am not too impulsive."
"You bought us a timeshare in Tampa!"
"The lady at the kiosk said it's the Sacramento of the east."
"But now we gotta go to Tampa every year! Tampa's not a place that you go; it's a place that you end up!" (Happy Endings, S03E21)
"It's impossible to ruin something that's already terrible. It'd be like adding more moms to Facebook." (Happy Endings, S03E21)
SEQUELS NO ONE DEMANDED Iron Man 3 Star Trek Into Darkness Fast and Furious 6 The Hangover: Part III Before Midnight Monsters University Despicable Me 2 Grown Ups 2 Red 2 The Wolverine The Smurfs 2 300: Rise of an Empire Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters Planes Kick-Ass 2
ADAPTATIONS NO ONE ASKED FOR The Great Gatsby Much Ado About Nothing Man of Steel World War Z The Lone Ranger R.I.P.D. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
VANITY PROJECTS The East After Earth The Internship This Is the End
In one scene, at a Nyan Cat pop-up shop, Scumbag Steve shows up, and you learn that Nyan Cat and Scumbag Steve share a manager, whose clients also include Keyboard Cat, Success Kid, and Gingers Have Souls.
A meme manager? I want to see that documentary film.
"What do you do for a living?"
"Oh, I manage Internet memes."
It's a full-time gig, and he's been at it for over [three] years. He's also an A&R for Rebecca Black. [source]
When I learned of the Boston Marathon bombing, I immediately thought of the opening of Die Hard with a Vengeance.
Then I imagined myself shooting the culprit á la Jack Ruby, blowing police away telekinetically as they're about to apprehend me, and revealing myself to be God.
And then I thought, Film Idea: A retired badass pulled back into action, only the retired badass is a disgruntled Jesus Christ.
"I was crucified for these shitheads?"
Jesus begrudgingly returns to Earth, dies while saving it, and then life goes on as before. Christians have their beliefs both affirmed and repudiated.
The Dirties follows two high school cinephiles as they make a movie about killing all the bullies who harass them.
It was shot without a script in a documentary style with two cameras constantly filming. Many background characters were participants unaware that a film was being made, who therefore act quite naturally.
It won the Grand Jury Prize for "Best Narrative Feature" at Slamdance this year, and will next screen on Wednesday in Royal Oak, MI, and on April 27 at the Independent Film Festival Boston.
How are cage-free eggs better? Just because a hen isn't caged doesn't mean that it isn't being fed the same shit as a caged hen, or managed similarly. And an uncaged hen still exists to serve humans – it's still our slave. Buying cage-free eggs is like paying a hooker instead of raping one.
"Oh you only buy cage-free eggs? Well, I'm not racist because I have a black friend."
Today is the fourth anniversary of The Agony of Defeat, Adam Riff™'s sports Tumblr. Four more years?
14. Oh no they didn't (WWE Raw, 04-01-13)
Paul Bearer's real son: If anyone is wondering, yes WWE did come to us wanting approval for tonight's storyline. The way it was presented to us was ok. Seeing it on screen was a different story. I don't even know what to say.
The Blind Side 2 (Loiter Squad, S02E04)
Stan's speech about the bird and the soft mouth (The Americans, S01E09)
Carl's baseball bat silencer (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
RT: Carl: "Dad, I'm turning into a cold-blooded killer." Rick: "Pssh, whatevs." (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
RT: What's her name who hid under the body… That was a stupid strategy. (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
Good riddance to Andrea (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
RT: Why would they choose the prison over Woodbury? (The Walking Dead, S03E16)
"My master points out that men don't need nipples." (Game of Thrones, S03E01)
"Well, I'm sorry I tried to kill you – according to you, anyway." (Bates Motel, S01E03)
"You think this beard makes me Santa? I'm an elf." (Justified, S04E13)
"Higher up the mountain, worse the footing gets." (Justified, S04E13)
"Natural One" – from the Kids soundtrack to (Suburgatory, S02E19)
"I do like the idea of popcorn kernels in the pancake batter so they self-flip." (Modern Family, S04E19)
"Shoot yourself into me, Clark!" (The Americans, S01E09)
"The Revolutionary War: America won." (The Americans, S01E09)
"You do realize that if you call it a Sophie B. Hawkins dance, people will expect Sophie B. Hawkins to actually be there, right?"
"[laughs] Yes. And when she comes, I'm gonna be like, I will remember you doubting me."
"That's a Sarah McLachlan song." (Community, S04E08)
"That's guy's like Teflon. No matter how much awful stuff he does, he keeps getting another chance."
"Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people." (Community, S04E08)
"There's only one thing I hate more than lying – skim milk, which is water that's lying about being milk." (Parks and Recreation, S05E17)
"Nice to meet you. Eat fresh." (The Office, S09E18)
"It is super emotional, like in Toy Story." (The Office, S09E18)
"If so, food." (New Girl, S02E21)
Pam's allergy face (Archer, S04E12)
Fuller: I've been wanting to do the [Shining] bathroom [set] forever. I tried to do it several times on Pushing Daisies but we always had budget restrictions and I wanted it to be exactly like that bathroom. Every show I've done I wanted to build a bathroom that looked like that space. (Hannibal, S01E01)
"I am Sean Connery. I want massage." (Nathan For You, S01E06)
"You look like an assistant manager at a Jacksonville multiplex." (Happy Endings, S03E16)
"Damn you, you Kevin Smith smell-alike!" (Happy Endings, S03E16)
One-armed man – Fugitive reference (Happy Endings, S03E17)