Previously on Adam Riff™ (August 12, 2011):
Nathan Fielder deserve[s] better than Comedy Central.
10. Petting Zoo Hero (Nathan For You, S01E02)
- The Social Normwork (The Ben Show, S01E02)
- Catching a Vandal (Nathan For You, S01E02)
- [Unexpectedly Legit] Underwear Fight (Delocated, S04E01)
- NuvaBling (Saturday Night Live, S38E16)
- Aadip decides to make a cheeseburger with no burger. It's a grilled cheese. So he puts slices of cheese, without bread, directly on the grill top and watches them immediately melt to the cast iron. "Man, they melted so fast. I was trying to grill it to get a nice sear on it." (Worst Cooks in America, S04E03)
- "He's just trying to grill cheese. He's grilling cheese! Oh my God!" (Worst Cooks in America, S04E03)
- What's behind curtain "not shitting you"? Zonk! (Let's Make a Dead, S03E12)
"You sure about this?"
"It's the only way we can keep you from resisting your urges."
"It's really hard."
"I'll be with you the whole time."
"No, I mean, it's really hard. Handcuffs turn me on."
[gasp] (Shameless, S03E07)
- It's White Castle night on television (Shameless, S03E06 / Girls, S02E08)
"Your name's Max Flush and you're looking for a toilet? That's funny."
"And his name is Bob Burger!"
"His name is Bob Burger."
"Um, it's not."
"It isn't, no."
"No! Are you serious?"
"Bob Burgers. Then who am I thinking of?"
"I don't know."
"But the sign…" (Bob's Burgers, S03E15)
- Season three would be about lawsuits? No thanks (Enlightened, S03E08)
- Jerry Lawler chuckling at Road Dogg quoting "Thrift Shop." @______@ (WWE Raw, 03-04-13)
- "You go play asshole in the mirror." (Justified, S04E09)
- "When I take him down, his eyes will be clear." (Justified, S04E09)
- "Tell whoever approved this that your face is a present from me to them." (The Americans, S01E06)
- "If we call them city lizards, they'd be Mondo Gecko." (Workaholics, S03E18)
"This is like that Ashram Kitchen show Prank'd."
"Or Wilma Valmarammi's Blow Momma." (Kroll Show, S01E08)
- "I may have started at Binghamton, but I finished at Syracuse." (Kroll Show, S01E08)
- "You've just been Nnamdi'd!" (Kroll Show, S01E08)
- "You really you'd this one, huh?" (Community, S04E05)
- Adam DeVine is ubiquitous (Community, S04E05)
- "He's the Schwarzenegger, I'm the DeVito." (Community, S04E05)
- "Gingers smell like pennies." (Glee, S04E15)
- "Sorry I don't know the guy who created Pong. Ask me what the release date of Halo 4 is – November 6, 2012." (King of the Nerds, S01E08)
"Let's, you know, de-escalate the situation."
"Oh for… De-escalate your dick!"
"De-… Wait, I mean… Escalate shutting up!" (Archer, S04E08)
- "Was there not, like, a cock-hungry vibe?" (Archer, S04E08)
- "Can you escort us to a hospital? I bet about three of these women are about to give birth." (Archer, S04E08)
"We all know who the terrorists are."
"Lupe! Come on! You're in America now. You just imply it." (Archer, S04E08)
- "Que the hell pasa?" (Archer, S04E08)
"You don't even have a vet license?"
"Thanks to one petty local politician…and one petty barn full of dead horses." (Archer, S04E08)
- "Lupe, ya tengo una madre!" (Archer, S04E08)
"Turns out he's some kind of spook."
"Dude, phrasing!" (Archer, S04E08)
- "I never got to be mayor of titty city." (The Ben Show, S01E02)
"What the fuck is the point of being fat and black if you can't fuckin' tackle? Jefferson, what did I say is the only career path for you if you're fat and black?"
"Rapping and tackling, sir." (The Ben Show, S01E02)
- "We also have to figure out a band name. You guys ready? All right. The Roving Stoves. Sugar Ray Romano. Leave Me the Beaver. The Fartin' Scorseses. Satan's Wang. Ass Piss. 21 Cum Street. Fuck Fuck Goose. Queef Latina. Vagi-Na-Na." (The Ben Show, S01E02)
- "But there was one person no one would ever suspect – Santa Claus." (Nathan For You, S01E02)
- Unexpectedly dark series finale. Scorched earth (Delocated, S04E01)
"Because the best gift that you can give a loved one is"
"Oral." (Saturday Night Live, S38E16)
- "Is that a PS Vita?" (House of Cards, S01E04)
Game of Thrones pedicab at SXSW