Smooth Move, Ferguson

"Beyoncé's Super Bowl halftime show is gonna break Twitter."
"Unless, you know, the Super Bowl does first."
"Pfff! Beyoncé dwarfs football."

My buddy [redacted] is trying to finagle Super Bowl media access so he can see Beyoncé's halftime show in person.

"You know it's just 12 minutes, right?"

An e-mail I was cc'd on:

As I said in our meeting, I'd be more than happy to write/help produce a Beyonce-themed post for Superbowl weekend, provided that [redacted] can cover the travel cost to New Orleans on Feb. 3rd weekend and get me a press pass to the event. I can live-tweet the performance for your Twitter feed.

Blog-wise, I'm envisioning writing a 2,000-word (maybe a little shorter or longer) on Beyonce the performer. I'll bet that she will give *the* most memorable half-time show in recent memory. The woman is like a walking red bull, the combination of Tina Turner, Diana Ross and Barbra Streisand for the YouTube/Twitter/Tumblr era, Broadway meets hip hop, the only female pop star with genuine swag. She wasn't just born to be on stage–she is the stage.


You'd think she was Rosa Parks or something.

Jon: Blimey. I lost my chapstick again.
Jon: Idea: Chain chapstick, like a chain wallet.
Jon: Idea: A chapstick that magnetically attaches to the temple arms of your glasses.
Rory: What about people with plastic frames?
Jon: Uhh…Velcro?
Rory: Idea: You get a cosmetic tracheotomy and store your chapstick in the resulting stoma.

Make it stop.

Why even play on "keep calm…"? Why not just say "puck the Penguins"? And shouldn't it be "puck the Fenguins"?

Matt: Almost all NHL teams have a Puck the (insert rival team here) shirt.
Jon: But "Puck the Flyers" is confusing.
Jon: Fuck the Plames?

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