Smooth Move, Ferguson

"Beyoncé's Super Bowl halftime show is gonna break Twitter."
"Unless, you know, the Super Bowl does first."
"Pfff! Beyoncé dwarfs football."

My buddy [redacted] is trying to finagle Super Bowl media access so he can see Beyoncé's halftime show in person.

"You know it's just 12 minutes, right?"

An e-mail I was cc'd on:

As I said in our meeting, I'd be more than happy to write/help produce a Beyonce-themed post for Superbowl weekend, provided that [redacted] can cover the travel cost to New Orleans on Feb. 3rd weekend and get me a press pass to the event. I can live-tweet the performance for your Twitter feed.

Blog-wise, I'm envisioning writing a 2,000-word (maybe a little shorter or longer) on Beyonce the performer. I'll bet that she will give *the* most memorable half-time show in recent memory. The woman is like a walking red bull, the combination of Tina Turner, Diana Ross and Barbra Streisand for the YouTube/Twitter/Tumblr era, Broadway meets hip hop, the only female pop star with genuine swag. She wasn't just born to be on stage–she is the stage.

[pause]

You'd think she was Rosa Parks or something.


Jon: Blimey. I lost my chapstick again.
Jon: Idea: Chain chapstick, like a chain wallet.
Jon: Idea: A chapstick that magnetically attaches to the temple arms of your glasses.
Rory: What about people with plastic frames?
Jon: Uhh…Velcro?
Rory: Idea: You get a cosmetic tracheotomy and store your chapstick in the resulting stoma.
Rory:



Make it stop.

Why even play on "keep calm…"? Why not just say "puck the Penguins"? And shouldn't it be "puck the Fenguins"?

Matt: Almost all NHL teams have a Puck the (insert rival team here) shirt.
Jon: But "Puck the Flyers" is confusing.
Jon: Fuck the Plames?


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