21 Dec 12

My authentic self was aborted at the age of four

Northern California!

Saw that ad in an alt weekly after reading about an Angry Birds-themed food truck.

Diagnosing the Home Alone burglars' injuries: A professional weighs in

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Cribsheet
the week of 05.19.13

Season Megaton
Arrested Development

sun 05.26 @ 3:01 am et (netflix)
15 new interconnected episodes, each focusing on an individual character

michael cera was part of
the writing staff

Daft Punk
'Random Access Memories'
album legally available tue 05.21
fart

Microsoft Xbox:
A New Generation Revealed
tue 05.21 @ 1:00 pm et (spike)
maybe they'll actually show the console too

Behind the Candelabra
sun 05.26 @ 9:00 pm (hbo)
steven soderbergh's final film

is a behind-the-scenes look at the tempestuous relationship between liberace (michael douglas) and his barely legal pool boy lover
(matt damon)

was deemed "too gay" for
theatrical release

soderbergh: "this was after brokeback mountain, by the way, which is not as funny as this movie"

The Hangover: Part III
film in theatres thu 05.23

Fast and Furious 6
film in theatres fri 05.24

Before Midnight
limited release fri 05.24
care for a sequel?

UEFA Soccer
2013 Champions League Final:
Borussia Dortmund vs.
Bayern Munich
sat 05.25 @ 2:45 pm et (fox)
gus johnson calls the world's biggest annual sporting event

NBA Basketball
Eastern Conference Finalzzz
Indiana Pacers vs. Miami Heat
begins wed 05.22 @ 8:30 pm et (tnt)

Western Conference Finalzzzzz
Memphis Grizzlies vs.
San Antonio Spurs
resumes tue 05.21 @ 9:00 pm et (espn)

2013 NBA Draft Lottery
tue 05.21 @ 8:30 pm et (espn)
powerball it ain't

UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2
sat 05.25 @ 10:00 pm et (ppv)
plus: dos santos vs. hunt (or nelson)

The Orwells
"Other Voices
(Dave Sitek Version)"
off the other voices ep,
legally available tue 06.25
» download

The National
'Trouble Will Find Me'
album legally available tue 05.21

French Montana
'Excuse My French'
album legally available tue 05.21

The Front Bottoms
'Talon of the Hawk'
album legally available tue 05.21

Japanther
'Eat Like Lisa Act Like Bart'
album legally available tue 05.21

Majical Cloudz
'Impersonator'
album legally available tue 05.21

New Politics
'A Bad Girl in Harlem'
album legally available tue 05.21

The Last Stand
home video available tue 05.21

Side Effects
home video available tue 05.21

The ABCs of Death
home video available tue 05.21

Season Finale
Bates Motel
mon 05.20 @ 10:00 pm (a&e)

Season Finale
Rectify
mon 05.20 @ 10:00 pm (sundance)

Season Finale
Modern Family
wed 05.22 @ 9:00 pm (abc)

Season Premiere
MasterChef
wed 05.22 @ 8:00 pm (fox)

Adam Riffs

Follow @adamriffs

Adam Riffs

ABC is promoting performances by Pitbull and Psy on "Dancing with the Stars" Monday night. WOOF.
We are now exactly one week away from new "Arrested Development."
This week, we learned that Sherlock Holmes is Khan and Margaery Tyrell is Moriarty.
RT @vanmega: Let's all shut up about Daft Punk, guys.
Philly brunch crawl: Five brunches in five hours.
"Star Trek Into Darkness" is like J.J. Abrams' demo reel for the "Star Wars 7" job.
At a 9:00 a.m. screening of "Star Trek Into Darkness" because I'm a cheap motherfecker. Ticket still cost $17. NYC!
The Game Of Thrones showrunners wrote an upcoming episode of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia http://t.co/FEMPOvkYIL
TNT Developing "Monopoly" Reality Show http://t.co/0UD8UqS2Oh
The reading material at this barber shop is Playboy mags.
Nasim Pedrad is the only full-blooded Asian cast member in "Saturday Night Live" history, and she's Iranian.
"27% of voters said they thought hipsters should be subjected to a special tax for being so annoying" http://t.co/1GL1n5WtB5