7 Deadly Scenes: Fight Scenes of the Year

Previously on Adam Riff™:

7. Lane Pryce vs. Pete Campbell (Mad Men)

6. Batman vs. The Mutant Leader (The Dark Knight Returns: Part 1)
Surprisingly brutal for an animated fight. See Batman use an armbar and kneebar!

5. Frank Castle vs. Hoodlums (The Punisher: Dirty Laundry)
Evidently, Jack Daniel's bottles are made of diamond.

4. Doug Glatt vs. Ross Rhea (Goon)

3. John Bennett vs. Ted (Ted)
Mark Wahlberg performed this scene alone.

2. Mallory Kane vs. Paul (Haywire)
Michael Fassbender did not use a stunt double.

1. Rama and Andi vs. Mad Dog (The Raid: Redemption)
I don't love the choreography, but it undoubtedly deserves top honours.

see also:

Adam Riff™ Clips of the Year

Previously on Adam Riff™:
1. Toddlers and Tiaras
2. Parks and Recreation
3. American Idol
4. The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
5. Delocated
6. Key and Peele
7. Archer
8. Luck / Life's Too Short
9. Jimmy Kimmel Live
10. Eastbound and Down
11. Eastbound and Down
12. My Strange Addiction
13. Spartacus: Vengeance
14. Saturday Night Live
15. Justified
16. Mad Men
17. Mad Men
18. Girls
19. Fringe
20. Community
21. Veep
22. Game of Thrones
23. Punk'd
24. The Eric Andre Show
25. Comedy Bang! Bang!
26. The Newsroom
27. Louie
28. The Eric Andre Show
29. The Midnight Beast
30. Aqua Something You Know Whatever
31. Louie
32. Breaking Bad
33. Breaking Bad
34. Here Comes Honey Boo Boo
35. WWE Raw
36. Breaking Bad
37. Louie
38. The Office
39. Louie
40. Key and Peele
41. Sons of Anarchy
42. Boardwalk Empire
43. 30 Rock
44. Key and Peele
45. Boardwalk Empire
46. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
47. Killer Karaoke
48. New Girl
49. Boardwalk Empire
50. The League
51. The League

Some broken clips, including [sigh] all of the Breaking Bad ones, and clip 1, which introduced the world to Honey Boo Boo.

I would say that 8. Luck is the best clip, while 11. Eastbound and Down is my favourite clip.

As it was a slow television week, clip 52 is one we missed in 2012.

52. Brown Noser (Total Blackout, S01E02)


Looking forward:

Comedy heavy.

7 Deadly Scenes: The Year in Food

A more palatable list than The Year in Penises.

7. Dipping Sauces and Tots (Breaking Bad)

Showrunner Vince Gilligan:

Twenty years ago, I wrote a comedy in which a scientist accidentally kills God and feels really terrible about it. Meanwhile, his former lab assistant goes on to fame and fortune by inventing something called "Franch" — a salad dressing that's half-French, half-ranch. I confess, I was cannibalizing an idea from an old script…but since it's clearly never going to be made into a movie, I figured "what the hell?"

6. Bacon-Wrapped Shrimp (Parks and Recreation)
A three-clip franken-scene featuring two separate callbacks to season one.

5. Shawarma (The Avengers)
Chris Hemsworth ate one pita sandwich each take and grew sick.

4. Hot Dogs (Conan)

3. Potato Skins and Nachos (Delocated)
A four-clip franken-scene.

2. Pizza (Sleepwalk With Me)
The pizza pillow was made by Roberta's in Brooklyn.

1. Fried Chicken (Killer Joe)
This whole list was conceived as an excuse to share this scene so…buen provecho.

On and on, reckless abandon

What did y'all get for Christmas?

I know when my brother has been driving my car when I start it and the radio is tuned to a country music station.

[flips through brother's Playbill for The Book of Mormon]

Three full-page ads for the actual Book of Mormon – huh. Latter-day Benetton.

I kinda admire Playbill's seeming disinterest in updating its logo or layout design for the 21st century.

"Chopsticks for you, Jon."
"You brought chopsticks from home?"

My mother read someplace that disposable chopsticks contain bleach (…or something) and now brings her own chopsticks when dining out.

Is "Asian Hugo Weaving in Cloud Atlas" a meme yet?

Freebie for Warner Bros.' marketing department: "Oppa Gangster Squad."


7 Deadly Scenes: The Year in Penises

1. Michael
2. Magic Mike
3. Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie
4. Misfits
5. Hit and Miss
6. The Comedy
7. Holy Motors

You burn away your dreams inside a journal and leave those primal words unsaid

Fuck: Christmas trivia with Bill O'Reilly
Marry: Paula Deen
Kill: Ashanti

Pitchfork and The A.V. Club publish separate year-end lists for metal albums.

Why don't metal albums merit main list consideration? Are they not albums? If you prick them, do they not bleed? Someone who thinks metal is dumb might see a metal album on an "albums of the year" list, listen to it, and dig it.

Free association:

I know, I know, most staff members probably don't listen to metal.

Affirmative action for year-end music lists!

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

51. Medley of Rafi (The League, S04E13)

Honourable Mention

  • Hip Hop Santa (Happy Endings, S03E07)
  • Nut Cake (Jersey Shore, S06E13)
  • Bob Odenkirk vs. Nick Kroll (The League, S04E12)

Stray Observations

(It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S08E10)


2012 TVS Award Nominations

And the nominees are:

Best Supporting Actor or Actress in a Network Drama

  • Maggie Smith (Dowager Countess) – Downton Abbey
  • John Noble (Walter Bishop) – Fringe
  • Monica Potter (Kristina Braverman) – Parenthood
  • Bruce Greenwood (Emmet Cole) – The River
  • Andrew Scott (John Moriarty) – Sherlock

Best Supporting Actor in a Network Comedy

  • Adam Pally (Max Blum) – Happy Endings
  • Jake Johnson (Nick Miller) – New Girl
  • Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) – Parks and Recreation
  • Chris Pratt (Andy Dwyer) – Parks and Recreation
  • Parker Young (Ryan Shay) – Suburgatory

Best Supporting Actress in a Network Comedy

  • Lucy Punch (BJ Fox) – Ben and Kate
  • Gillian Jacobs (Britta Perry) – Community
  • Busy Philipps (Laurie Keller) – Cougar Town
  • Eliza Coupe (Jane Kerkovich-Williams) – Happy Endings
  • Sofia Vergara (Gloria Delgado-Pritchett) – Modern Family

Best Supporting Actor in a Premium Cable Drama

  • Jack Huston (Richard Harrow) – Boardwalk Empire
  • Michael Shannon (Nelson Van Alden/George Mueller) – Boardwalk Empire
  • Ray Stevenson (Isaak Sirko) – Dexter
  • Peter Dinklage (Tyrion Lannister) – Game of Thrones
  • Mandy Patinkin (Saul Berenson) – Homeland

Best Supporting Actor in a Basic Cable Drama

  • Jonathan Banks (Mike Ehrmantraut) – Breaking Bad
  • Walton Goggins (Boyd Crowder) – Justified
  • Neal McDonough (Robert Quarles) – Justified
  • Joel Kinnaman (Stephen Holder) – The Killing
  • John Slattery (Roger Sterling) – Mad Men

Best Supporting Actress in a Cable Drama

  • Jessica Lange (Sister Jude Martin/Constance Langdon) – American Horror Story
  • Anna Gunn (Skylar White) – Breaking Bad
  • Christina Hendricks (Joan Harris) – Mad Men
  • Olivia Munn (Sloan Sabbath) – The Newsroom
  • Regina King (Lydia Adams) – Southland

Best Supporting Actor in a Cable Comedy

  • Steve Cirbus (Sergei Mirminski) – Delocated
  • Steve Little (Stevie Janowski) – Eastbound and Down
  • Adam Driver (Adam Sackler) – Girls
  • Jason Mantzoukas (Rafi) – The League
  • Timothy Simons (Jonah Ryan) – Veep

Best Supporting Actress in a Cable Comedy

  • Molly Tarlov (Sadie Saxton) – Awkward
  • Kaitlin Olson (Dee Reynolds) – It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Parker Posey (Liz) – Louie
  • June Diane Raphael (Piper Ferguson) – NTSF:SD:SUV
  • Joan Cusack (Sheila Jackson) – Shameless

Best Supporting Child Actor or Actress

  • Maisie Williams (Arya Stark) – Game of Thrones
  • Jorden Bennie (Ryan) – Hit and Miss
  • Ursula Parker (Jane) – Louie
  • Kiernan Shipka (Sally Draper) – Mad Men
  • Max Burkholder (Max Braverman) – Parenthood

Best Supporting Voice Actor or Actress in a Primetime Animated Series

  • Amber Nash (Pam Poovey) – Archer
  • Eugene Mirman (Gene Belcher) – Bob's Burgers
  • Kristen Schaal (Louise Belcher) – Bob's Burgers
  • Thurop Van Orman (Lil' Gideon) – Gravity Falls
  • Michael-Leon Wooley (Twayne Boneraper) – Ugly Americans

Best Supporting Other

  • Jack Whitehall (JP) – Fresh Meat
  • Charles Barkley – Inside the NBA
  • Michelle Visage – Ru Paul's Drag Race
  • Kevin O'Leary – Shark Tank
  • Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) – WWE Raw

Back and to the left

Home for the holidays to relax compile an audio mix and curate film and television scenes for Adam Riff™.

Hooray leaving Manhattan at 4:00 p.m. to catch a 7:45 p.m. flight at JFK.

I delayed my flight as late as possible so I could see Zero Dark Thirty as soon as possible.

You Are God

Sad Whopper

There's phoning it in, and then there's fast food kids' meal toys nowadays. Why even bother? Just print QR codes leading to mobile games and videos on kids' meal bags.

Fast food kids' meal toys peaked with McDonald's' Super Mario Bros. 3 collection.

Idea: Fast food kids' meal toy Air Jordans. And for girls…uhhh…Easy Bake crisping sleeves.

The Booth at the End

Y'all can have Lindsay Lohan. I'll take Bai Ling.

Coachella Massacre 2: Electric Bonnaroo.

The world awakens one day to discover that all guns on Earth have disappeared – has this premise been dramatized?

"Why are you shouting?"

I hear that regularly.

A: Because you were shouting. Am I supposed to just let you shout at me? Because, fuck that.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But also…do unto others what they did unto you.

Saturday night, I saw a queue outside a Foot Locker for raffle tickets to be distributed Sunday afternoon for the opportunity to buy special Air Jordans this weekend.

Experiment: Special Air Jordans that are only available at opening day midnight screenings of Star Wars: Episode VII.

The 12-episode first season of UNITED STATES OF BACON premieres Sunday, December 30. Each episode features chef Todd Fisher as he road trips to cities across America in search of bacon creations. [source]


This $15 concoction is created first by steeping grilled cheese sandwiches in vodka for a day.

Adam Riff™ Clip of the Week

50. 12.12.12 (The League, S04E11)

Honourable Mention

Stray Observations

  • This stolen penis storyline… (Misfits, S04E07)
  • "I just thought if we got together, we could change the channel from the Feud Network to Comity Central." (The Simpsons, S24E07)
  • Tina in the bathroom (Bob's Burgers, S03E08)
  • Gear heaven (Bob's Burgers, S03E08)
  • "You're our favourite character, Roz from Frasier." (Happy Endings, S03E06)
  • "I know it's underhanded, but that's the way I throw." (Modern Family, S04E10)
  • The Mac/Charlie prolonged stare (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, S08E09)
  • "Adam Levine once tweeted: 'Chemistry cannot be purchased.'" (The League, S04E11)
  • The only patch of light in the entire city (Portlandia, S03E01)


I just finished reading The Revolution Was Televised by Alan Sepinwall. I accidentally downloaded it while trying to spare myself from lugging a 1000-page hardcover novel around New York City.

As I am considerably more knowledgeable about television now than at age 15, I'm tempted to revisit You Don't Know Jack: Television, the expansion pack that stumped me most, see if I can finally conquer it like I did You Don't Know Jack: Movies and You Don't Know Jack: Sports.

Idea: Revive Kid Pix 1.0 as a mobile app.

Rough Sleeper

Should I?

On Christmas Eve, the same chef is cooking a National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation-inspired dinner.

see also: Breaking Bad-inspired dinner

I saw an ad on a taxicab that read "Syracuse: New York's College Team." Uhhhhh no. That would be Michigan.

"Regal E-Walk Stadium 13 and RPX" is an odd name for a cineplex. Ewok Stadium and RPX 1138.

I'm Always Tired

Has MythBusters tested whether it really matters if your seat back is in its upright position during take-off and landing – whether stewards are rightfully scrupulous over seemingly negligible degrees of recline (in coach, at least)?

Has anyone written a paper on the psychology of one-ply toilet paper? You buy it because it's cheaper than two-ply toilet paper, despite knowing that it's flimsy, and that because it's flimsy, you (slash people) will end up using more of it, basically DIY-ing two-ply toilet paper. How much money does the world actually save each year buying one-ply toilet paper instead of two-ply?

I see Salvation Army bell ringers and think, Idea: An electronic bell. It looks like a bell, it sounds like a bell, but you don't have to physically ring it. Just switch it on.

Idea: Reality Family Feud. For example: Shahs on Sunset vs. Duck Dynasty.

Are Family Feud hosts required to embrace contestants with their right arm when revealing Fast Money results? It looks so awkward. I would opt out of playing Fast Money just to avoid said embrace.


At work: I wonder if Shane Meadows made another televised mini-series sequel to This Is England for this year's Q4…

This Is England '90
This Is England '90 was originally due in late 2012, but Meadows put production on hold in order to complete his documentary on the Stone Roses.

This Is England '90 will look at rave culture and the 1990 FIFA World Cup.

From skinheads to ravers.

Looking forward to a Britpop-infused This Is England '92.

New York Is Finishing School For Cynics Like Us

Previously (2004) on Adam Riff™:

UCLA has a new logo.

Keith Bright Strategic Design created the new logo at a cost of $98,000.

"UCLA could have paid me $50 and I could have typed out 'UCLA' in Helvetica font, italicized it and it would've been a done deal. Here, I'll try it: UCLA."

Alas, UC diplomas will still feature the classic logo.

How much do you think USA Today paid for its logo to be re-designed into a large blue dot? More than anything, it looks like a waste of space on the front page.

Adam Robot: yes, modernizations are always shit, but you're seeing them after the fact
Adam Robot: it seems SO simple
Adam Robot: but there's a fuck ton of work that goes into that
Adam Robot: a hospital here paid like $150,000 for their update – and it's crap
Adam Robot: it's just how it goes
Jon: So it's like The Wire