November 14, 2010 on Adam Riff™:
I am looking for contributors for my web zine, which I plan to launch in January. Each quarterly "issue" will consist of a variety of content (articles, comics, podcasts, et cetera) that is all, in some way, related to a single theme. The theme of the first issue is sleep.
A panel (film actor, film director, film critic) critiques performances in films by late night talk show hosts – David Letterman in Cabin Boy, Jay Leno in Collision Course, Conan O'Brien in Storytelling, Jimmy Kimmel in Like Mike, Jimmy Fallon in Almost Famous.
The Princess and the Pee
A comic strip. Only a real princess would remain on a mattress with the bed-wetting prince.
The centerpiece of the issue was gonna be a longread on my snoring, which I have decided to revive and serialize on Adam Riff™.
So coming soon, in chunks: "Night Terror: The Increasingly Paranoid Slumbers of a Hopeless Snorer" by Jon Yu.
Humans hate being mentally strong and physically weak. The fact that we get to take this planet down with us when we go brings us no joy whatsoever. Instead we admire athletes and the physically violent, and we loathe intellectuals. A bunch of nerds build a rocket to the fucking moon, and who do they send? A blond man named Armstrong, who can't even say the line right when he lands.
It's a weird curse, when you think about it. We're built for thought, and civilization, more than any other creature we've found. And all we really want to be is killers. [27-29]
I just finished Beat the Reaper by Josh Bazell. It's a brisk, crackin' read about a former killer for the mob who is discovered as a doctor in witness protection.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross at one point said that our comprehension of death passes through five distinct stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.*
* I say "at one point" because this progression is what we think about when we think about Kübler-Ross. But what we avoid thinking about when we think about Kübler-Ross is how she later changed her mind and decided we'll all be reincarnated. I wish I was shitting you. 
Its climax is wicked audacious. I stood and applauded on the inside.
Ah, youth. It's like heroin you've smoked instead of snorted. Gone so fast you can't believe you still have to pay for it. 
I am eager to dive into its sequel, Wild Thing.
Jew-hating may be a primordial cracker urge, but loneliness goes back to the amoeba. 
Rob Huebel's Georgia Tech shirts hijack this trailer [for What to Expect When You're Expecting].
Wes Bentley, the cast of American Reunion – two thousand zero zero party over oops second chance…
Now that Wes Bentley's arresting gravitas has proven a magnet for the under-25 crowd, driving American Beauty's grosses to the $60 million range, he's experiencing intense newest-flavor courtship. Bentley's on the prowl for "serious stuff"—and that means "no action movies with too many special effects."
Heh. Literal flaming outfits to complement all the figurative ones.
For the sequel, Gary Ross might want to dial the handheld cinematography down from 'Paul Greengrass' to 'Peter Berg.'
The Games portion of this film would be more effective if the tribute characters were more developed. The Hunger Games should've been a television series, or an Avengers-esque culmination.
The Final Member
Sigurdur Hjartarson has devoted four decades to curating the Icelandic Phallogical Museum. As its founder, he's collected a penile specimen from every mammalian species except one—a human. Hjartarson guides us on an incredible and comical journey to procure that elusive penis.
At 95, Icelander Páll Arason can think of no better way to enshrine his Casanova lifestyle than contributing his well-worn love gun. His stiff competition comes from Tom, a patriotic American who feels strongly that the stars and stripes should shine with his penis named Elmo. He'd even donate it while alive to ensure it's the first.
Hot Docs (Canadian International Documentary Festival) will host its world premiere in May.
Race Dicks follows Trailer Park Boys stars Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, and Mike Smith as they learn car racing skills to compete in a world famous car race in Newfoundland, and attempt to raise enough money through racing endorsements to launch their own Internet-based network, SwearNet.
Producers are targeting a 2013 theatrical release.
Previously on Adam Riff™:
I just finished reading The Magicians by Lev Grossman, and am eager to dive into its sequel, The Magician King.
That's what death did, it treated you like a child, like everything you had ever thought and done and cared about was just a child's game, to be crumpled up and thrown away when it was over. It didn't matter. Death didn't respect you. Death thought you were bullshit, and it wanted to make sure you knew it. 
I finished reading The Magician King. I did not expect the ending to wreck me, but such is my current emotional state.
The funny thing about never being asked for anything is that after a while you start to feel like maybe you don't have anything worth giving. 
The Magician King reminded me of The Godfather: Part II. We'll see if 2013's The Magician's Land can stick the landing. Grossman doesn't seem too keen on writing it.
That was the thing about the world: it wasn't that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn't expect. [97-98]